Who: Katou and Michael What: Michael catches Katou in the act When: May 5th Where: Michael's place Rating/Warnings: High for hard drug use Status: Complete
There was a part of Katou that knew he should be spending more time at Michael’s place, since Michael couldn’t go out, but if there was something that Katou didn’t want Michael to know was that he was using again. Hell, he’d never told Michael he was a junkie in the first place. That part of his life had always filled him with shame. Not that he was ashamed of it now. He had gotten back together with his old crowd of friends, Youji and the other guys, and there really wasn’t much shame in spending the day getting high and most nights, when he didn’t forget, with his boyfriend. Not that either half of his life knew about the other half.
He’d never brought drugs to Michael’s house, but Michael was having a party tonight. His band was playing, one of the only shows they could do now that Michael was stuck in his house, and Katou really didn’t have a choice but to bring a little something extra to the party. What the hell was the point of a party if it wasn’t to get fucked up after all?
He was in the bathroom now, laying out a thick, brown line on Michael’s countertop. Lines weren’t as great a way to get high as a needle, but Katou’d kicked his addiction, and he wasn’t going to get started again by sticking needles in his arms, and if he’d smoked it, well, someone might smell it.
***
Michael had to admit that the party was a lot of fun - even if he didn’t know most of the people that were currently all over his house. And playing on his game systems - seemed to him a lot of people were enjoying getting to play the Orcs Must Die game right now and he couldn’t really blame them. They were getting invaded by orcs after all - and that was something he’d never have believed if he hadn’t lived through some shit since moving back here. Including his boyfriend almost destroying the world.
He looked around as his band finished playing one of their newer songs, realizing that he hadn’t seen his boyfriend in a while. Possibly not since before they’d started up that last group a half hour before - one of the problems of getting as wrapped up in his music as he did but he wasn’t going to stop that. He probably should go and see what was up with Kat though - maybe find out if his boyfriend was about ready for Michael to start subtly wrapping things out so they could get some time without everyone else around. Without having to make sure that Michael having to make sure he didn’t accidentally spill it that he and Katou were dating.
He didn’t find the other blonde downstairs so he went up towards his bedroom, stopping to talk to some of the people he did know on his way. Maybe he’d gone upstairs to get some privacy or check on the peeps since Michael had put them upstairs in his bedroom which was off limits to...everyone else at the party. Partly because - his private space and partly because that was where he’d put the guitar Sam had given him when he was in high school. His others he could stand to have to send for repair - that one he didn’t want to chance anything happening too.
“Kat? You in there?” He asked, not waiting for a response before opening the door although judging by the powder on the counter maybe it would have been better if he had. “What the fuck?”
***
Katou hadn’t really expected to be interrupted, and if he was going to be, he definitely didn’t think it would be by Michael. He’d heard Michael outside the door, but before he could so much as open his mouth to tell him to just wait a goddamn minute Michael was opening the door. Why the fuck hadn’t Katou thought to lock the door?
He turned panicked, his pupils pinpricks, his heart in his throat, hoping that Michael hadn’t seen the lines but immediately realizing that he was staring right at them. Then he took a deep breath. Maybe this wasn’t as bad as he thought it was. Michael was a rockstar after all. He grinned. “Hey babe,” he said. “Bump?”
***
Michael knew he could turn around and walk out, pretend he hadn’t seen this and figure out what he wanted to do later. After the party. After he’d had time to just think. But instead he he stepped the rest of the way in, closing the door behind him even though there was no reason for anyone else to come up here.
He turned to look at Katou, taking in his eyes and his jaw tightened as he reached back to lock the door. An extra bit of security against them being interrupted. Against his boyfriend getting caught by someone else. “What the fuck are you thinking Katou? I would ask what you’re doing but that’s pretty obvious. How long has this been going on?” He asked, fighting to keep his voice low. To keep from shouting.
***
Katou swallowed, really hoping that Michael coming into the room and locking the door meant that he was just going to join in and everything was going to be fine, but he suspected from the look Michael was giving him that that wasn’t the case, and his suspicions were confirmed when Michael spoke.
Katou bit his lip and glanced at the door behind Michael, tempted to make an escape. But even high as he was, he knew that was probably a bad idea. At least, it was if he still wanted a boyfriend in the morning. For a moment, he debated just how badly he did want Michael to stick around. Then he sighed. He was stuck here, alright.
“Not long,” he said, unconvincingly.
***
This wasn’t the first time Michael had found out that someone in his life was on drugs. This was just the first time it was somebody he was dating. He knew that he needed to keep his temper, not fly off the handle about it because it wouldn’t actually do anything except probably damage their relationship past the point of repair and that was one thing he didn’t want. But he also knew that when he left this bathroom he’d be heading straight for a bottle of whiskey. Hopefully he could find one that wasn’t opened that he could take for himself.
He swallowed, leaning against the door as he stared at him, tense despite the casual pose he was trying to take. “Bullshit. How long?” He asked, refusing to look away from the other man’s face.
***
With Michael standing at the door, Katou had never been more tempted to jump out his boyfriend’s bedroom window, but even with his the fog of heroin clouding his thoughts, he knew that was a bad idea. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth for a moment, and then found a rather interesting spot to stare at on the wall next to him. “Since I got back,” he said quietly.
***
Michael cursed under his breath when Katou told him how long he’d been doing drugs. He couldn’t believe he’d been that wrapped up in shit to not notice that something was going on with his boyfriend. But Kat hadn’t seemed to want to talk much about what had happened - and then Michael had ended up turning into a ghost literally right after he’d gotten back - so he hadn’t pushed, wanting to just enjoy the good things that were going on despite all the dream bullshit.
“How bad is it?” He asked, noticing the way Katou couldn’t meet his gaze but not being willing to push it. He was half listening, already thinking through what he should probably do next. Who he should call to help.
***
“It’s not that bad,” and that Katou was sure about. Because it definitely wasn’t as bad as when he’d been a dumb kid in high school. “I ain’t selling,” though he’d certainly been tempted on a number of occasions. With a sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach, he wondered how long he would’ve gone before he started selling again. “And I ain’t using needles neither. And it aint’ like I’ve ever brought it into your house before. I got it under control.”
***
“You think I’m asking this because you brought it into the house? That that’s what bothers me Kat?” Michael asked stepping towards him and trying to catch his gaze, to force Katou to look into his eyes. “I couldn’t care less about you bringing it into the house. I’m worried about you. And I’m a selfish bastard who’s scared of losing you again - that’s what’s bothering me.” He said, realizing as the words came out just what he was saying. What he was admitting to.
*** Katou attempted to look at Michael’s face, he did. But it was hard when Michael was right there, probably silently judging him. Who the fuck wanted to get stuck with a junkie anyway. “You’re not going to lose me,” he muttered, averting his eyes from Michael’s again. “Like I said, I ain’t doing the needle thing anymore. And I ain’t ever ODed or nothing. It’s totally safe.” Even as the words left his mouth he knew they weren’t true.
***
Michael reached out with one hand to touch the side of his boyfriend’s neck lightly. “Babe...just because you haven’t in the past isn’t a guarantee that you won’t in the future. And that’s what scares me. Because if something happened to you - I couldn’t get there. I told you - I’m a selfish bastard in this.” He admitted quietly. He wasn’t judging him - he was just scared of everything he knew could happen.
***
Katou unconsciously leaned into Michael’s touch. “Nothing’s going to happen,” he said, though even he realized how unconvincing that sounded. “I’m careful. Like I said, I ain’t using needles or nothing this time.”
***
Michael knew that he had two choices how to react - push about it or just drop it for now. And call Kanan as soon as he was out of the bathroom. Because he didn’t agree with his boyfriend that this was nothing to worry about. And if anybody could get through to him he thought it might have been the older man. “Promise me you’ll keep being careful? No needles or anything?” He ignored the this time because this time was all he cared about right now.
***
“I promise,” Katou said easily, without thinking about it. After all, Katou made a lot of promises; it didn’t mean he had to keep them all. But even as the thought crossed his mind, he felt guilty about it. He should keep promises to Michael. He bit his lip. The hell was he doing? He was better than this. And Michael sure as shit deserved better than some strung out junkie.
***
That promise came a little too easily for Michael to really trust it but he could pretend he did. “I’ll hold you to that. I should probably get back out there to make sure nobody is destroying anything. I’ll see you down there when you’re finished in here?” He asked, trying to sound as casual as he could.
***
Katou bit his lower lip. Why was Michael being so damn cool about this? He wanted him to yell at him, and call him an idiot. Or, failing that, he wanted him to join him. Katou could barely stand the pity he felt emenanting from Michael. He was probably thinking about what a poor, pathetic mess Katou was.
“Yeah, maybe,” Katou said, shrugging and stuffing his hands in his pockets.
***
Michael leaned in on impulse and kissed him, hard, ignoring the powder on the counter for a minute. “I'll see if I can't grab a bottle that's not opened yet. Doubt I'll be able to get glasses though so - come find me if you want a drink.” He left the bathroom, waiting until he was out in the hall to pull out his phone, texting Kanan about what he'd walked in on.
Letting down that calm wall he'd put up while in the bathroom, letting his fear show through in the privacy of his top floor while trying to get his boyfriend the help he needed.
***
After Michael left, Katou pulled the lid down on the toilet and sat down, staring at the lines he’d already cut and thinking about what Michael had said. Michael was obviously cool about it, Katou told himself, so why was it so hard for Katou to finish what he’d started? Elbows on his knees, Katou buried his face in his hands for several long minutes.
He didn’t allow himself to think about what he was doing when he stood up and, with a hand, swiped the heroin off the counter and into the sink, and his hand was turning on the tap before he had a chance to change his mind, although his heart leapt to his throat as he watched it swirl down the drain. He took a deep breath, and splashed the water over his face. It would be a while before he felt prepared to rejoin the party.