I'm Sorry! (unboundbydeath) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2018-06-08 04:43:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, jaune arc, pyrrha nikos |
We said a lot of stuff
Who: Arkos
What: Srs Discussions
When: recent
Where: Diana's
Status: complete
Rating: Pg-13
Pyrrha didn’t need crutches to walk around anymore, but she still needed a cane. Or perhaps she felt better with a cane. Her aura was still weakened, so the healing was slower than it otherwise would be, but faster than a normal person was. She wore a fashionable choker to cover the scar on her throat and she was inspecting it when someone knocked on the door.
Carefully, she got up and made her way to the door. Her eyes lit up when she saw Jaune, though there was something like guilt there.
This had been a long time coming, but Jaune found himself unable to speak. At least at first. He'd gone down to Emerald City and gotten some of their favorite treats with the last of his disposable income, thinking maybe that would break the ice.
It was really, really heavy ice. While Pyrrha seemed to be looking pretty amazing from where Jaune was sitting, he didn't know that he could say the same for himself. Jaune still felt as heavy as the all of that weighted silence between them. But he had a lot to say, if he could manage to open his mouth.
He held up a drink carrier and smiled as he said in one breath. "You look really good I brought snacks can I come in?"
She reached out, twisted her hand into his shirt, and pulled him inside and into a kiss. Once she was satisfied, she stepped aside so he could come inside. “Since you’re bringing snacks, I suppose you can come in.”
"Woah..." Jaune blinked a few times. The entire earth had just tilted sideways and he could still feel her lips against his. He nearly dropped the snacks before he shook his head and tried to recover. "You're just lucky I didn't drop our coffees... that would have made a big mess! And then we'd have nothing to drink with our snacks. And that'd be... you know... bad. It would be sad. I'd have to get more."
Maybe he should drop them right now so that he didn't have to have any of this conversation.
No, Jaune, you have to do this.
He stepped past her and put the snacks safely on a nearby table before he really did drop them, and then straightened his shirt. "Should you be up and around? Are you okay? You LOOK okay..."
“The worst damage is healed, but I’m still not… at 100%. My aura was shattered.” She closed the door, then shuffled towards the living room, “It’s barely coming back.”
If she sounded frustrated, it was because she was. She couldn’t defend anyone when the orcs attacked, and any day there could be Grimm or worse.
And what if Cinder came to Orange County? Pyrrha would fight her with her bare fists if she had to. It was personal. But that wasn’t something she was proud of, so she swallowed it and gave Jaune a smile. “I missed you.”
"You certainly have an amazing way of showing it... I'm not complaining!" Jaune picked their snacks back up and looked around for a place to sit where they could both be comfortable. He had no doubt that if Pyrrha was up and about she could stand for as long as she wanted to, but he didn't see how she'd negotiate pastries, a coffee cup, and a cane.
Only instead of saying any of that, he noticed a couch and started walking towards it. "That looks like a great place to sit and catch up. Unless you want to go back to your room? Uh... not for any other reason than private conversation. Is your... soul sister type home?"
Pyrrha gave him a look that could best be described as ‘thirsty’ but she didn’t say anything. This felt a little too serious for that and she actually wasn’t sure where they stood. Not after… everything.
“Diana is out. Is everything okay, Jaune?”
"Oh, uhm... Yeah, you know... It's..." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand and then motioned towards the couches. "Well, we need to talk, that's all. It's not a bad talk, it'll be okay. Here, come and sit."
“We need to talk is never a good thing,” Pyrrha pointed out. She took a seat and pulled her legs up onto the couch, scooting over to give him room. She wanted him close, and if he sat next to her it would be a good thing. Or so she hoped.
This wasn’t exactly how she expected anything to go.
It seemed, to Jaune, more like the kind of talk you had while making more meaningful eye contact, maybe from across the way. But he wasn't so oblivious not to notice her scoot over, and he decided maybe it was better if he had a chance to look just about anywhere else.
Not that it was awful. It wasn't a 'break up' talk, but he knew it was going to be awkward. And there was going to be hurt, or blame, or guilt. That was just how it was going to go, even if he wanted to prevent it. So he took a seat next to her, and then dolled out the snacks.
Jaune took a bracing sip of his coffee before starting, "So... uhm... I'm just- you're gonna find out eventually, and I don't want you to be upset or blame yourself, but I... I flunked out."
Pyrrha wasn’t exactly in the mood for awkward, but she was feeling pessimistic enough to expect the worse. So much for… well anything.
But at least he was alive. That was important. And she hadn’t expected that, and she should have, and she started kicking herself over it, “I’m so sorry.”
He’d told her not to blame herself, but she was going to. After all, she’d nearly died in his bed.
Jaune shook his head. "No, Pyrrha, it's okay. I don't really think... well, me and College weren't really working out anyway. I've been passing by the skin of my teeth since I started."
He glanced over at her and placed a hand over hers, "I don't think that was the path for me, really. I was talking to Professor Qrow about it here and there and I think I would have quit eventually. I just didn't want you to find out from anyone else but me. And since... I kind of don't have a place to stay right now. So you'd definitely notice that."
“What are you going to do?” She reached for his hand, finding that more important than anything else in this moment. “Where will you stay?”
Maybe she could ask Diana, though ‘my boyfriend needs a place to stay’ wasn’t always the best conversation starter. But Jaune wasn’t exactly a slacker. Not really. At least she didn’t think he was, even if he could be stereotyped as one.
"I'm going to ask Ren and Nora if I can stay with them, and try to get a job over the summer to help with the expenses." Jaune replied. That part was easy enough to talk about, since it just seemed like common sense to him. He hadn't asked yet, of course, but he'd come up with another plan if he had to.
He took another sip of his coffee, then squeezed her hand. "And then... I... well. I decided. I'm going to be an EMT. I haven't really looked up what all I have to do yet, but I know I'll need money to get there. But I just can't."
Jaune wanted to look just about anywhere else but into Pyrrha's eyes in that moment, but he felt like it was necessary. "I won't be the helpless kid who frantically dials 911 while his friends die around him. Not if I can be something better than that. And I think I can be."
“That’s a wonderful idea, Jaune!” She was certain they’d be okay with it. If anything Nora would probably flip a biscuit in the good way. Looking down at their hands, Pyrrha squeezed back as she listened, before lifting her eyes to meet his.
“I believe you can be.” There was pride in her voice, “And whatever I can do to help, I will.”
"Your support is already a huge help!" Jaune beamed at her. There were a lot of emotions still to process, but the pride in her voice lit up most of the dark angry places that lurked inside of him. It gave him hope. "But I might call on you to practice on, or for help studying things?"
He blinked and added, "And I don't mean like ... you know... I mean real practicing. But I think we maybe need to talk about some other stuff too."
Jaune let go of her hand for a moment to rub at the back of his head again, "We said a lot of stuff, and I'm not sure if you were kind of expecting me to just forget it or not. In the dreams we don't really get this chance, and I... you know, I don't know if you want to take it. Here, I mean."
She fingered her choker and nodded, totally understanding what Jaune had meant and finding it endearing that he was worried she'd misconstrue. The girl had spent an entire year pining for him and hoping he'd notice her.
To be quite honest, she had every intention of jumping his bones as soon as she felt up to the exercise. Dying put a great deal of perspective on time and how easily it could slip away.
It seemed like Jaune was at least partially on the same page. "Jaune, I love you. I wasted so much time there, when I should have said something a lot sooner. And I liked you here too, before we ever dreamed."
"I remember when we got shot with those... love arrows or whatever they were. When it was all over I kind of felt... empty. Like I was missing out on something important." Jaune admitted. He realised he wanted to pull Pyrrha closer, and carefully put his own coffee down on the table so that he could do that. Gently, of course. He had no idea where she was really at when it came to healing.
"So we're... gonna be in love. I think I can handle that."
“I never felt any different,” Pyrrha admitted, voice soft and eyes downcast. “The arrow only… made everything much more intense. And when it faded some of that intensity was still there but I didn’t want to … ruin things with us.”
She let him pull her closer, and tucked her head under his chin.
"I'm completely obtuse about these things in both worlds, I guess..." Jaune admitted, sounding more than a little sad. "If I'd been just a little more- If I'd only been looking in the right places, you know? But there's nothing I can do about what happened in the other place. You're gone, and we're all gonna have to live with that somehow. Here in this world, we have more time. And I'm not gonna be blind anymore."
He glanced down at her and gently kissed the side of her face. "I promise."