Our revels now are ended (fly_beyond) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2018-06-07 02:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, chloe price, rachel amber |
Someone got a new lighter, maybe she’ll stop stealing mine now
Who: Rachel and Chloe
What: Getting high, making out, tension
When: Probably the week before concerns about Ilia came up
Where: The trainyard
Status: complete
Rating: High for sex drugs and rock and roll
Escaping Mark proved to be harder than Rachel had planned on. She was still sore from when she’d confronted him about what happened with Chloe, but the marks on her throat had mostly faded. But escape him she did, gradually making her way to the trainyard via a circuitous route, with a large bag of weed.
She still needed to actually meet with that Isabela woman about moving some stuff, but right now, she wanted to see Chloe, and getting high was really just an excuse.
Chloe had also had a bad week. She’d suffered the trauma of her dad’s death all over again, but she was keeping it largely to herself. Ilia knew that she’d had a bad dream, but they hadn’t gone into specifics. But considering Chloe hadn’t actually handled her dad’s death in this life, having the death in the dreams compound that trauma was a perfect recipe for disaster.
She had slipped into a state of numbness and not really caring about much again. That was probably why she was walking along the train tracks on the way to her hideout that she shared with Rachel. She was smoking a cigarette and was mentally daring a train to come along. There was a growing chance that she wouldn’t leap out of the way of an oncoming train. However, she made it to the trainyard without incident.
Pausing, she was glad to see the caboose was still in tact. The orcs hadn’t destroyed it. She sighed out a puff of cigarette smoke and headed over to it, cigarette dangling from her lips.
Given a few signs, Rachel would figure it out. She knew the signs from before she’d left, after all. Her own dreams had continued their normalcy, despite the craziness of the Orcs, but then something new had happened.
She’d gone to a concert, and she’d seen a very cute blonde girl hit a douchebag, but she’d woken up before she could learn more.
She spotted that familiar blonde face, and grinned. “Hey there, Price.”
“Hey, Amber,” she responded, lips moving around the cigarette before she took it out of her mouth. Chloe managed a smile in return, but there was something lacking from it. Her eyes weren’t bright either, a potential sign of depression, or something else going on.
“At least our place survived that insanity.”
“I don’t think they even found it.” Rachel rubbed her neck absently, then hopped up into the caboose. She’d come by a few times, bringing lanterns and blankets. There was a radio now, and a bluetooth speaker for their phones. She’d gotten the idea to run an extension cord from the caboose to the rail yard house. There was electricity there even if she’d never seen anyone.
She turned and held her hand out to Chloe, hoping to reignite the fire that was missing from her eyes.
“Good. Those guys were fuckers anyways.” Chloe commented. Taking one last hit from her cigarette, she dropped it on the ground and ground it out with her foot. She then reached out and took Rachel’s hand before climbing into the caboose. It was starting to look homey inside it.
Or as homey as an old caboose could look, at any rate.
She pulled Chloe in close for a moment, inhaling the scent of her. The cigarettes and weed and whatever shampoo she’d used last. All things that were, together, Chloe. For the first time in well over a week she felt peace of mind. “I’m glad you got here first, I might have started without you otherwise.”
Chloe caught scent of Rachel when she was pulled in close. Was that jasmine? She thought Rachel smelled like jasmine. At least Chloe had showered that morning. “Well, glad I left when I did so I didn’t miss any of the fun.”
“I always think of you when I’m having fun.” Rachel spun Chloe around, like they were dancing. Rachel was always so alive, and at times she wasn’t aware of it, but at other times she was. When Chloe was at her darkest, she could almost feel it, like a black hole.
And so she let her fire be freely taken, if Chloe needed it.
“Do you?” Chloe had a hard time believing that, and not just because Rachel had gone and left her without a word. Her mind was in a dark place, though she tried to not focus on that so much. She held onto Rachel as she spun her around, following after her lead.
“Yes. Because you’re a badass who sneaks into concerts and rolls the best blunts,” Rachel teased. She let go of Chloe, then peeled her shirt off, balled it off and tossed it into the mattress in the caboose. There was an angry red mark on her side, for once not from Mark. She rubbed it, “And shoots at orcs when it's all I can do to not get smashed.”
“At least I’m good for something.” Chloe brushed her fingers through her hair when Rachel let go of her and pulled her shirt off. Of course, Chloe looked, she couldn’t help it, but then she noticed the angry red mark on her side and frowned. “What happened? Did one of those orcs do that to you?” Or Mark? Though she wasn’t going to vocalize the thought about Mark.
“One of them slammed me into a railing when I was trying to escape,” Rachel explained. “This short dude with claws in his hands saved me.”
She didn’t want to know what could have happened if he hadn’t showed up, though she wondered if the orcs might actually be gentler than Mark, judging by that one woman she was making a deal with.
“Shit, are you alright?” Chloe asked, hoping that Rachel wasn’t too badly hurt. “Though I’m glad that guy showed up to help you. Kind of like when that Jedi showed up to save me before the orcs could feed my soul to their portal.” That still kind of creeped her out. And the fact they said she had a strong soul? The fuck was up with that?
Rachel took Chloe’s hand and placed it on the bruise. It was cool against her bruise and she moaned in relief. “I’m okay now. I’m glad you were saved. I like your soul where it is, in it’s very sexy container.”
She kept her hand placed over the bruise, looking at Rachel as she slipped her other arm around her and pulled her close. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m not nearly as sexy as you are, though.”
“Bullshit.” Rachel leaned in, stealing a kiss, and then stealing Chloe’s cigarette for a puff. “I know you don’t see it, but you’re really hot. There’s a lot of good things about you. Starting with your butt and working our way up.”
Chloe let out a self-deprecating laugh. “There’s really not that much that’s good about me.” She knew she was a fuck up and that was basically all she did in life, aside from disappointing everyone around her, of course. No wonder everyone kept leaving her. Her dad. Max. Rachel. It would probably only be a matter of time before Ilia and Jaina left, too. And maybe Rachel would leave again as well.
She gave Chloe a disapproving look, then pulled her over to a table. It was a small table, set into the wall near the bed, but it worked. This caboose had been lived in once, before them. Rachel wondered what kind of people they’d been, and what they’d think of her and Chloe.
“We should get new tattoos.”
She saw that look Rachel gave her, and she just shrugged a shoulder slightly. So Joe and Stefan had hired her when she’d showed that she could work on cars. But beyond that? Chloe didn’t have many life skills or positive traits. She was a walking black hole that destroyed everything she touched sooner or later.
“What kind of tattoos?”
“I don’t know about you,” Rachel mused. She ran her hand down her arm, “But I was thinking… fire.”
Burn everything, burn it to ashes, cleansing fire. When she allowed herself the thought of getting away from Mark, she imagined burning him and his apartment to ash.
She just… she wasn’t ready yet. She had a thousand excuses but it all boiled down to being afraid. And it was a fear she didn’t dare show anyone, though there might have been a flash of it in her eyes.
“Fire suits you. You’d be smokin’ hot.” Yes, that was a pun. Sometimes Chloe came up with some good ones. “I don’t know what I’d get. I already got the one I wanted.” Though maybe getting ‘lost cause’ tattooed on her wouldn’t be a terrible idea.
“Tramp stamp,” Rachel decided, moving around to behind Chloe and running her hands down her back. “That compass from Pirates of the Caribbean. So you can always find your way. … And because I’ve seen your room I know you were obsessed.”
Chloe glanced over her shoulder at Rachel. “Hey, I couldn’t help it. Pirates were cool. Of course, I was only four years old when the first movie came out so I was a little late on the uptake there.” She shook her head a bit. “And if you mean Captain Jack’s compass, his was broken so I don’t think that’d help me find my way anywhere.”
“It leads him to his heart’s desire, remember?” Rachel leaned her head in, whispering heatedly in her ear. “Or maybe it’s so I can find my heart’s desire.” She slid her hands around Chloe’s waist. “I always thought Swann was hotter than Jack.”
At the whisper, Chloe couldn’t help but to think it wasn’t her that Rachel desired. But she’d take whatever Rachel wanted to give her. It was better than the cold nothing she’d had since Rachel had left her behind. “Yeah, she was. Definitely hotter than Jack or Will.”
“Will is a close second,” Rachel had to admit. She’d always been more of a Will person than a Legolas person. She frowned, almost feeling Chloe’s tension under her fingers. “.. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It was always Elizabeth for me. The guys never did much for me.” Chloe responded. It was largely true. Sure, she held some attraction towards guys, but she was far more attracted to women. She rubbed a hand over her face and took a breath. “I don’t know.”
Rachel held up her finger, then stroked it across the shell of Rachel’s ear. Then she pulled away, moving to the table and pulling out her baggie. “Lets roll blunts and see where we go, all right? You don’t have to talk. But… if you want to, I can listen.”
She could have made a comment about loving the sound of Chloe’s voice. It would have been true. But something stopped her.
Chloe nodded a bit. “Fuck yes, anything to feel something other than numb.” While she hadn’t necessarily wanted to get high earlier, right now it was the better option. It would at least let her feel something. She moved over to the table and sat down.
She had no idea where getting high would lead her, but she hoped it was to something better than what she currently was.
“Take your shirt off so we’re even,” Rachel teased. She was very experienced in doing this, rolling up two for each of them. That was a good start, and just in case, she hid the baggie in a compartment they’d created in one of the walls. While weed was now legal in California, old habits died hard and her stash wasn’t exactly legally aquired. There weren’t too many places that sold it.
Though that gave her an idea. “We should totally start our own pot dispensary.”
“Fine, have it your way,” Chloe responded, though she was more than happy to take her shirt off. She pulled it off and cast it aside without a care. She had a black bra on, but aside from the sleeve tattoo on her right arm and the suicide attempt scars on her wrists, she had no other marks on her.
“And where would we get the money to do that?” Sure, Chloe had a job, but it didn’t exactly pay enough to help start a business. She was mostly just hoping to have enough money to get an apartment of her own so she could stop leeching off of Jaina in the near future.
Rachel turned and drank her in a little with her eyes, but she made no moves to do anything about it. “Maybe I’ll start doing hardcore stuff.”
Though her tone was flippant, she didn’t actually sound all that enthused by the idea.
She noticed the way Rachel was looking at her, and she just let her look. “Yeah, how about not.” Chloe responded. It wasn’t necessarily jealousy talking there, it was more that she didn’t want Rachel to have to subject herself to that.
“Maybe if I hadn’t fucked up and gotten expelled from high school, I could’ve gone to college and gotten a degree in car mechanics or some shit. Then I could actually have a full time job that paid decently.”
“Aw, you do care.” Rachel held out the blunt, and said, bluntly, “Get your GED. You’re not fucking stupid, Chloe. You could pass that test easy. No one gives a fuck whether it’s a graduation degree or a GED, it’s all the same these days.”
“Yeah, kinda need money for that. And a wish to go back to school.” Chloe didn’t like the thought of going to school, even if she was studying something she was actually interested in. She reached for the blunt, half expecting Rachel to pull it away.
“If you know what’s going to be on the GED, you can just take the test. But I don’t know how much that is.” Something to figure out later, and she would have to work with the person she experienced jealusty with aka Ilia to keep Chloe on task.
But she’d do it. She let Chloe take the blunt and pulled out her lighter. It was a new one, the kind you could flick open and closed and she’d started to develop the habit of doing just that.
Chloe wondered why anyone would want to invest so much in her. All she ever did was disappoint people. She’d probably just go and disappoint Rachel in this as well. “Someone got a new lighter, maybe she’ll stop stealing mine now,” she commented as she took the blunt.
“I gave it back, didn’t I?” Rachel lit Chloe up, then lit up her own, “Exactly as promised.”
She could get that part right at least, even if a shiver ran through her at the memory of Chloe in that hospital bed. No matter how hard she’d tried, she could never erase that memory. Erase that picture from her mind. Her hands suddenly shook.
“Yes, you did. Thank you.” She took a puff from her blunt and just let it linger before exhaling the smoke slowly. “Damn, this is some good stuff.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall for some moments before she took another puff. She wanted to get as high as she could. Maybe it would be better than remaining in agonizing numbness.
“Special reserve.” Rachel hopped up onto the table, taking a draw of her own. She closed her eyes and sighed. “Say good bye to aches and pains and all our problems.” She patted the table next to her.
Getting up from the chair, she shifted to sit on the table. “Fuck those assholes.” She was definitely more than happy to get rid of the aches, pains and problems. Chloe was not one who liked to actually face her problems. So smoking them away sounded like the best thing ever.
Rachel moved her hand so it was on top of Chloe’s, and took another puff. “Yeah, they’re totally assholes.”
She waited a moment, then said, “I… almost called Joyce. But then you got better so I didn’t want to freak her out over nothing.”
At the admission, Chloe frowned. “What? Why would you even think of calling her?” Chloe had her doubts that Joyce would get freaked out. Being her daughter or not, there were several years of bad blood between the two of them.
Which, deep down inside Chloe felt really bad about because she did need her mom. But her mom had chosen David, and she’d worked very hard in lowering her mom’s expectations so she could stop disappointing her. But she definitely wasn’t going to admit any of that.
“You have no idea what you fucking looked like!” Rachel snapped, voice breaking. She closed her eyes, taking another hit to calm herself down. Her hand was shaking again. “She’d...she’d want to know. It doesn’t matter what happened between you. She’d want to know.”
And maybe she was thinking of her own mother, who probably hated her now too.
“Why the fuck should she get to know? I don’t want her to know. That’s the whole point of why I left. She wouldn’t have to deal with me and she could just do what she always wanted, which was be with stepfucker.” Chloe got off the table and started pacing, now agitated about her mother.
And Joyce could just go ahead with replacing her dad and erasing him from their family. It wasn’t fair to her dad. He deserved better than to be forgotten and replaced.
“Because you almost died. And I remember you guys arguing a lot but I never thought she hated you. Fuck it wasn’t like I was thinking straight at the time.” Rachel lowered her head into one hand, “All I wanted to do was scream and throw things and …”
Confront Mark, confirm her suspicions. But she was afraid if she did, he’d do something to her, so she left the words unsaid. “And...pray. I’m not a praying person, there is no god, but I’d yell at her for you.”
“Yeah well, she should hate me. I disappointed her enough for it. Now she can just stuff pictures of me in boxes and drawers and forget about me the way she did with my dad.” Chloe paced back and forth a bit, a deep frown on her face. “Besides, I’m not worth any of that trouble. I didn’t deserve to be healed either. I should’ve just died years ago, it would’ve saved everyone a lot of trouble.”
“Fuck you!” Rachel got up, grabbing Chloe by the shoulder, “Don’t you say that, don’t you dare say that!”
Anger rippled through her, and her lighter ignited briefly on the table. Chloe in the tub, Chloe on the tracks, Chloe with an empty pill bottle in her hand. How many times had she nearly watched her die? How many times before something inside her snapped and she’d run away? Mark had told her Chloe was bad news, had twisted the conflict and fear she’d felt every time Chloe didn’t respond to texts or answer her phone until he’d made himself the only answer she could see. When she should have stayed, when she otherwise might have, she’d run away. And now her make-up was running, “Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.”
We need help.
Chloe might end up getting that three am phone call to escape sooner rather than later. Assuming Chloe was alive to answer it.
“Why? Don’t you think your life would’ve been a hell of a lot simpler without me fucking it up for you? You deserved so much better than the shit I gave you. My fucking mom deserved better.” Chloe knew she pushed people to the edge, it was what she was good at.
“Fuck, I’m just making it worse now.” Chloe wanted to punch something. Maybe it would’ve been better if she hadn’t come to Orange County. At least she wouldn’t have had to dream of her dad’s death all over again.
“Don’t you think we get a say in if you’re fucking it up for us?” Rachel asked, leaning against the wall and then sliding down it. “Trust me, you’re not the one fucking up my life right now.”
“Maybe, but we both know I was fucking it up for my mom. I threw away my scholarship and pretty much everything else she tried to do. Her life is easier without me in it.” Not for the first time, she wondered why her mom had come home when she did the first time she’d tried to kill herself. If she hadn’t, she never would have met Rachel, and maybe she would’ve been on a better path in life.
“You sure about that?” She asked, looking back at Rachel. Of course in Chloe’s mind the ‘right now’ meant that she had fucked up Rachel’s life in the past. And she could understand it. She’d had a lot of very dark days and she’d attempted suicide more than once. Rachel hadn’t deserved to be put through any of that.
Why couldn’t her life be different? Why did everything go to shit after her dad died? Why had she even been born?
“The only thing I regret is leaving,” Rachel said, closing her eyes, not able to look at Chloe. Leaving instead of figuring out how to deal with her own emotions. But she knew that was a sore point and she couldn’t blame her. “Not sticking by you. Breaking my promise.”
It was a definite sore spot. “Yeah, it would’ve been nice if you hadn’t left. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. My dad died, Max left. It seems everyone in my life leaves sooner or later. Maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up and was actually a little ray of sunshine people wouldn’t leave.”
Chloe took another puff from the blunt. She was still pacing a bit, unable to really stand still at the moment.
“Then you wouldn’t be the Chloe that I … was attracted to. I like the rough edges” Rachel frowned at her almost slip up, “You wouldn’t be Chloe at all. I don’t think I’d like that version of you.”
She loved the rough edges.
And there was that past tense again. It always hurt to hear it even though Chloe knew it was true. “Then you clearly wouldn’t have liked me before my dad died.” She’d pretty much been a straight A student with a love of science, and a hatred of math. While she’d liked some mischief, she definitely didn’t have the edges that she did now. Edges torn into her by pain and anger.
Rachel hadn’t meant it in the past-tense sense. She was still insanely attracted to Chloe as it was. “You can’t know how you’d be if he hadn’t died. That was years and years ago.”
She got up off the ground, glad she was smoking instead of drinking or she’d say something she’d actually regret, “But this you, this…” She gestured at Chloe, “I like rough edges, I like you.”
But would she give that up if Chloe could have her dad alive? Rachel didn’t know the answer to that and hoped Chloe wouldn’t ask her.
“I know that I definitely wouldn’t be this. I wouldn’t be fucked up either. Or at least not nearly as fucked up. Max would’ve still left, but maybe I could’ve actually handled that had my dad not died.” Her dreams had made her miss Max even more than she usually did, and she kind of hated them for that.
But considering she’d found Rachel again, would she find Max again? No. She refused to let herself hope that she’d see Max again. Hoping was dangerous and tended to end with Chloe crashing harder than Icarus had when he flew too close to the sun.
“Well, at least someone likes me.” Of course, there were at least three someones that liked her here, Rachel, Jaina and Ilia. Maybe even Joe and Stefan. They liked her enough to hire her, at any rate.
“Someone is better than no one,” said the popular girl.
Rachel pulled Chloe against her, resting her head on her shoulder. She could judge Max but then she’d have to, well, judge herself. All things considered it was a good idea not to open that can of worms. “I know I can never fully relate. But you are worth something, Chloe.”
So many emotions ran through her when Rachel pulled her against her. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around Rachel, holding her close. It felt good to just be held like this, so she was going to soak it up. “Sometimes I wish I could go back to when things were simple. But then I’d have to go back to when I was like, ten and into skateboarding.”
Running her hands across Chloe’s mostly bare back, Rachel held her close. She brushed her lip across Chloe’s shoulder. “We can keep things simple here, in our caboose and party boxcar.”
She didn’t mind the idea of simpler. Simpler to her were rock concerts and getting high and vandalism. The good old days.
She shivered slightly under Rachel’s touch. “I like the sound of that. Simple is good.” At least she could try and forget the rest of the world, and make some attempt at forgetting her own problems for a little while. Rachel wasn’t hers anymore, but she could pretend she was when she held her like this. It at least lessened the pain she felt.
Moving her lips to Chloe’s neck, Rachel didn’t dare say anything. She kissed her neck and her jaw, and then her ear. Like she was kissing an apology, or asking forgiveness.
Closing her eyes, she tilted her head a bit, giving Rachel more access. Her fingers trailed along Rachel’s back, caressing the skin. She then trailed a finger nail up along Rachel’s spine. Her other arm kept Rachel pulled tightly against her body.
Letting out a moan, Rachel shivered, letting her own fingers trail down Chloe’s back. She made no move to undress them further, or to escalate this past what they were already doing. She kept kissing her jaw and neck and ear, trying to give Chloe whatever it was she wanted to draw out of her.
Chloe just wanted to forget everything for a while. She wanted to forget the pain, the anger, the loss, the abandonment, all of it. She groaned softly at Rachel’s touch, her fingers still dancing along her skin. Chloe wanted more, but she wouldn’t push the subject. Perhaps she just needed to get really high instead.
Rachel could do that. Rachel wanted to. She wanted to make Chloe forget her pain, since she couldn’t just take it away the way she wanted to.
“Keep smoking,” she ordered, before she started to kiss down Chloe’s spine. She unhooked her bra, and ran her hands across the expanse of her back. This was...actually the first time since Chloe’s accident, and Rachel touched her skin reverently.
Chloe did as ordered and kept smoking. She groaned, closing her eyes as she felt Rachel’s lips on her back. She loved the way Rachel touched her skin, and she wanted more. “Mm fuck,” she muttered as she exhaled some smoke.
“That’s the idea.” Rachel’s voice was throaty, need straining the words. But she took it slow, worshipping Chloe’s back with her lips and hands, and the occasional possessive bite. Why had she let this go, why had she let this go, why?
She pushed intrusive thoughts from her mind as she hooked her fingers into the back of Chloe’s waistband.
Groans and shivers ran through her at Rachel’s touches. She also rather loved the possessive bites. “Fuck yes,” she groaned. Fire was starting to spread through her body, and she liked where Rachel’s fingers were going when they hooked into her waistband.
“God I…” Rachel finished that sentence instead by biting Chloe’s shoulder and sucking there. She slid her fingers around her waist to try to unbutton her pants. Instead of pushing them down, she trailed her fingers up Chloe’s stomach and teased them across her breasts. “Tell me what you want.”
Chloe moaned and shuddered when Rachel bit her shoulder, a new surge of fire coursing through her. She shivered as Rachel’s fingers teased along her skin. She lifted a hand, reached back and tangled it into Rachel’s hair. “Is it too much to say everything?”
Flicking her tongue against the place where she’d bit, Rachel groped Chloe’s breasts, squeezing lightly as she rubbed her thumbs across her nipples. “Everything?”
Chloe’s moan sent fire through Rachel as well, though the implications in their words made her spine shiver. “Everything I have I’ll give to you.”
She moaned again, arching into Rachel’s hands. Chloe gave a little tug to Rachel’s hair. “Fuck yes, I want it all,” she said a bit hoarsely, wanting to feel Rachel all over her.
The pants went off next, Rachel’s hand diving into Chloe’s panties immediately after. She let go of a breast to get her own pants off. Skin to skin, nothing between them not even air. Rachel sucked Chloe’s earlobe into her mouth and nibbled with her teeth.
Once her pants were down, Chloe kicked them away so that she wouldn’t trip over them at a very inopportune time. She moaned as Rachel’s hand went into her panties, and her fingers twisted in Rachel’s hair. “Oh, fuck,” she groaned, rolling her hips against Rachel’s hand.
Rachel wanted Chloe, she wanted Chloe to be happy and she wondered if that was at all compatible with her own happiness. But she pushed that thought aside. She’d dreamed she’d seen Chloe at that concert in that shitty mill. Rachel didn’t know what it meant other than they were meant to be, somehow.
She curled her finger, teasing Chloe with it, moving her other hand back to her right breast and rubbing her nipple between two fingers. Rachel groaned at the hand in her hair, “Harder!”
A shudder ran through her as Rachel teased her with her finger, and it served to only stoke the fire inside of her even more. She moaned again, fingers twisting a little tighter into Rachel’s hair and she gave it another tug.
Letting the pain of her hair fuel her, Rachel slid her finger in, biting her ear again, her other hand rough with Chloe’s chest. She brought it up, stroking her fingers across Chloe’s throat, and Rachel wasn’t actually sure who’d come first at this rate.
She moaned again as she felt Rachel’s finger inside her. She shuddered at the bite to her ear. Chloe pressed into Rachel’s touch, feeling like her entire body had just burst into flame. “Holy shit,” she grunted as she gave Rachel’s hair another tug.
Rachel laughed, a breezy sound that somehow held more weight then it should. Like she’d been holding it in and only now let it out. She was intent on making Chloe come, hooking one of her legs around the front of Chloe’s legs, pressing her hand against her throat. “Fuck, Chloe.”
It felt like fire washing over her, and unnoticed to her her lighter on the table flicked on and off again.
Keeping one hand in Rachel’s hair, Chloe’s other hand dropped to the leg that Rachel hooked around her and she grazed her nails along it. She rocked her hips both against Rachel’s hand and back against Rachel’s hips. “Fuck yes…” Her orgasm was building, and her eyes closed as she tilted her head back.
God I love you. Rachel’s lips formed the words against Chloe’s skin, though the only sound that came out was a soft moan as she said, “Harder, Chloe, harder, mark me up!”
If there were consequences to that, she’d worry about them later.
Moaning, she dug her nails harder into Rachel’s leg. Her nails weren’t claws, but they were long enough to do some damage when enough force was applied. And she wanted to turn around and pin Rachel against the wall, but she didn’t want to break her arm that was between her legs in the process of that. So Chloe just settled for pushing Rachel back against the wall with her body even as she felt herself getting pushed closer to the edge.
Rachel let out a low gasp, and as if reading Chloe’s intentions pulled her hand away long enough to make her spin around, before she plunged it right back, finding an even better angle to throw Chloe off the cliff. It also let her kiss her, bruising and hard and needy.
There was a momentary whine when Rachel pulled her hand away from her to turn her around. However, she moaned into the kiss, returning it just as hard and bruising and needy. She slid her hand between Rachel’s legs, rubbing at her as she dug the nails of her other hand into Rachel’s hip as she rubbed her body against Rachel’s a bit.
Though even as she tried to hold off her orgasm a little longer, she couldn’t. The change in position and angle, paired with the kiss and the way their bodies were now pressed together threw her over the edge and she cried out as she orgasmed.
“Mine,” Rachel breathed, breaking the kiss long enough to lick her tongue up Chloe’s throat. The hand between her leg drew her focus away, however, and she moaned. It was so distracting she almost stopped her fingers. Almost. She tried to pull Chloe through the orgasm and didn’t stop.
She moaned as Rachel didn’t stop her fingers completely. Chloe kept her fingers moving, then slid two fingers inside of Rachel, her thumb rubbing against her clit. She pressed Rachel tightly against the wall and she nibbled along her jaw until she got to her neck and she bit down at the same time her nails dug into Rachel’s hip.
Letting out a plaintive whine, Rachel spread her legs to give Chloe more access, and groaned against the pressure. She trusted Chloe, her head tilting back to give her access to her neck and her entire body shuddered. Her toes were going to curl, she swore it.
It was probably a good thing that Chloe wasn’t a vampire, otherwise she’d have sunk her fangs into Rachel’s neck. Instead, she dragged her tongue along Rachel’s neck before trailing little bites along it. She kept her fingers moving against Rachel, wanting to throw her over the edge as well.
Rachel would probably be way too into vampire!Chloe, and another shudder rippled through her. She was close, so close that she couldn’t move her own fingers any more, instead just holding onto Chloe and blinking back tears. She whimpered Chloe’s name, and took God’s name in vain, and God, Chloe I love you as she came hard enough to see stars, and loud enough to wake the dead.
Chloe kept her fingers moving through Rachel’s orgasm. Her ears were ringing from Rachel’s cry as she orgasmed, and her body was practically humming. She kept her body pressed tightly against Rachel’s to keep her upright. Chloe brushed her lips along Rachel’s neck.
If Chloe wasn’t going to be a sexy vampire for Halloween this year after this, Rachel would riot. She panted for breath, shivering as she felt like her skin was on fire, as if she’d explode with every brush of Chloe’s lips. For this one moment, she felt better. As if nothing was wrong and they’d always be safe.
Vaguely, she realized Chloe was like a drug.
And she’d gotten addicted all over again. But if it made Chloe feel better, it was a small sacrifice.
Once Rachel came down from her orgasm, she stilled her fingers. She drank in the scent of Rachel’s skin and the feel of her body against her own. She hummed softly as she pressed a kiss to Rachel’s jaw.
Rachel wasn’t the only one with that kind of a realization. In their earlier texts, Chloe had been literal in needing the drug that was Rachel. But like any drug, it wouldn’t fix anything, but this was so much better than the numbness she’d been feeling before.
“Mm you’re hot,” she practically purred, keeping herself pressed against Rachel.
“You’re just talking about yourself,” Rachel responded, not inclined - or able to - move. She found enough energy to stroke her fingers through Chloe’s hair. The blonde and the streak of blue that she’d grown so fond of. Had she said it out loud, when she’d come? She didn’t know and she was too afraid to ask.
Her body ached, in a nice way, from the release and Chloe’s teeth and nails. It made her want Chloe to mark her, permanently somehow. And for her to do the same.
“I think not,” she responded. Chloe hadn’t been certain if Rachel had actually said it or if it was wishful thinking. She’d longed to hear Rachel say it ever since she’d run into her here, but she’d stopped hoping to. After all, Rachel had broken her heart when she’d left without a word, and that still hurt.
Plus there was Ilia, even though Chloe wasn’t quite certain what was going on there either. So she just preferred to not think with her heart.
“We’re both hot,” Rachel settled the matter, nuzzling Chloe and running her hands around her back in a manner so tender that it was painful.
“I can live with that,” she responded, shifting her arms to wrap around Rachel’s back and holding her close. She nuzzled Rachel back, letting herself soak this in. “Though I gotta say, there’s still plenty of things I’d like to do to you,” she murmured as she nipped at Rachel’s ear.
“...I’m listening…” Rachel groaned, refusing to let Chloe go, but rather happy to go for another round.
“I feel like burying my face between your legs. Or you could sit on my face. Though, do we have any toys?” Chloe had a lot of thoughts running through her mind, and she wanted to ravish Rachel as long as she could.
Literally forgetting English, Rachel mumbled something in the, like, six words of Spanish she knew, then cleared her throat. “I want to sit on your face, and there’s a bag under the bench. You can surprise me.”
Chloe had to grin a bit at Rachel’s reaction. She bent down a little, picking Rachel up by the backs of her thighs, wrapping her legs around her as she carried her over towards the bed. “Best to make use of the bed, hm?” She’d grab the bag after setting Rachel down.
“Oh jesus.” Rachel wrapped her arm around Chloe’s shoulders, kissing her neck as they move. Then she scooted back, staring up at her with the best come hither look she can manage.
When Chloe turned around from retrieving the bag, that come hither look practically did her in right there. She got on the bed and crawled up to Rachel, dropping the bag off to the side, but within reach. Crawling her way up Rachel’s body, she leaned in and captured her lips in an intense kiss.
She slid her arms around Chloe’s shoulders again, returning the kiss heatedly. She hadn’t… actually come out here today to sleep with Chloe. Get high, maybe fool around, but mostly just be near her. But Chloe was coming to life right in front of her eyes and Rachel was desperate to capture that.
And she always found it impossible to say no to Chloe.
This was going further than Chloe had intended to take things today. She’d wanted to try and forget everything that had happened. Mostly dreaming about her dad dying and Max leaving, but also just absolutely everything else terrible in her life. She’d just wanted to find some respite in Rachel, maybe not feel numb for a little while.
But right now, she was anything but numb, and she was desperate to hold onto the life. She was getting high on Rachel, and right now, that was just what she needed.
Rachel didn’t know what Chloe was going to surprise her with, but she could feel her need already rumbling back to life, and a second wind of energy as she stared up at her. She felt like she could trust Chloe, in ways that she hadn’t been able to trust Mark in a very long time. At least as long as Chloe didn’t touch her the wrong way, anyway.
Chloe laid against Rachel, gazing back at her as her hands slid along Rachel’s torso. She was careful to avoid the mark on her ribs that the orcs had caused, not wanting to cause her any pain. She leaned down and nipped along Rachel’s jaw, her hands moving to her breasts and caressed them, thumbs rubbing over her nipples. She was still making up her mind on what she’d surprise Rachel with, but she wanted to rev her back up first.
Arching a little, Rachel breathed out slowly and softly. Like the hurt and the anger inside her was being let out and smoothed over by Chloe’s gentle touch. It made her vulnerable, “I think… I think I’d flinch if it was anyone but you touching me like this.”
“I’m glad that I still have a good effect on you,” she said. Chloe dragged her tongue along Rachel’s neck, then followed it up with nips. She rubbed her body against Rachel’s a bit, groaning at the sensation.
“Fucking tease.” Rachel squirmed, writhing her body under Chloe’s. “But I like that…”
Chloe couldn’t help but to chuckle. “I can’t help it, I like getting you fired up.” She slid a hand away from Rachel’s breast and moved it down her body. She slid it between her legs to test how ready she was for another round.
“Please don’t stop,” Rachel pleaded. Begged. Yes begged. But here, with only Chloe to see? She’d give her that much, thinking it would probably go right to Chloe’s gut. Especially the moment she arched with a gasp that wasn’t even for show.
Yeah, the begging went straight to her gut, and she groaned a bit. Chloe was definitely getting high, and she wanted to give Rachel as much as she could handle. Which helped her make up her mind on what to do. She slid her free hand over to the bag, her mouth leaving a moist trail down to one of Rachel’s breasts, taking one of her nipples into her mouth.
The hand between Rachel’s legs teased her a bit while she searched the bag for an appropriate toy. And she found a strap-on. Giving a little nip to the nipple before she pulled away and sat up a bit, her other hand still teasing Rachel, she gazed down at her.
“Now, how do you feel about this?” She asked.
Rachel continued to writhe, eyelids at half mast as Chloe’s lips worshipped her breast and nipples. A soft, breathy moan, and then her hips rocking against Chloe’s hand. She turned her head to look at the strap-on. “I bought that one hoping you’d use it on me one day. On camera.”
Rachel smirked lazily.
“We can work up to using it on camera?” Chloe wasn’t entirely sure she even wanted to be having sex on camera, but for now it was just them. Smirking, Chloe shifted and put on the strap-on. She situated herself between Rachel’s legs and started to rub the tip of it against her.
“We can work up to using it on camera,” Rachel said, not taking it as a promise though she clearly left it open as an offer. Even if it was just for her private collection. Though she forgot how to think watching Chloe put that on.
“That is the hottest thing I’ve ever se--ohgod.” Mark who?
Chloe smirked a bit before she started to ease the tip of the strap-on inside Rachel. As she did so, she leaned over her, gazing into her face to watch her reaction.
She ran her hands up Chloe’s arms, then down her side, fire burning in her eyes. Desire and need and love, though she doubted Chloe would believe that even now. And Rachel wasn’t going to say it out loud again if she could help it. She inhaled sharply, toes curling, “You’re getting off on this aren’t you.”
She shivered at Rachel’s touch, smirking at her words. “And what if I was?” She responded. She started rocking her hips against Rachel, slowly at first. She leaned in and kissed Rachel heatedly.
Whatever Rachel was going to say was lost in a moan into Chloe’s mouth. It was long and low, and her nails dug in, drawing them up Chloe’s back hard enough to draw blood. She moved her hips, writhing under Chloe as she kissed her back with fervor.
She shuddered and let out a loud cry, muffled by Rachel’s mouth, as the nails dug into her back and drew blood. Her hips moved a little erratically for a few moments as her back stung, but she quickly regained herself and kept her hips moving against Rachel’s. She slid her hands down to Rachel’s hips, starting to move her hips a little faster.
“Just...just like that,” Rachel begged not ready to go harder or faster. She wanted to savor Chloe on her, savor the feel of them together. She wanted to be made love to. Rachel couldn’t remember the last time she’d just been made love to.
Chloe groaned a bit, keeping the pace even as Rachel wanted. She trailed her mouth to Rachel’s neck, flicking her tongue against the skin. Her body rubbed against Rachel’s as she moved, and she loved the feeling. “Oh, fuck,” she grunted a bit.
Rachel guessed this made Chloe the top, but honestly that was already pretty obvious. She ran her fingers through her hair then down her cheeks, reveling in the intimacy and the freedom of the moment.
Generally speaking, Chloe was the take-charge type in that respect. She liked being the top, though she wasn’t opposed to being the bottom now and then as well. It tended to depend on her mood at the time. She gazed at Rachel, her hands sliding along her torso again, just touching her wherever she could as she continued to move against her.
“You have…” Rachel was out of breath, her voice raw, “No idea how hot you are, no idea.” She laid her head back a little, arching and gasping. “I want you.. I want you to use me.”
“Perhaps I will,” Chloe responded, just as breathless. Chloe wasn’t known for her lung capacity given her smoking habit, but she was going to keep this up because she loved how Rachel was reacting. Her body was covered in a thin layer of sweat from the exertion and the friction that their bodies were creating as she moved against Rachel. She leaned down and nipped along Rachel’s throat.
“Yes..” Rachel closed her eyes, grabbing Chloe by the hips to help guide her. They’d never done this before, and she… she really liked it. Rachel was a natural born hedonist as it was, and throw on her general attitude and feelings around Chloe and she was in heaven.
Chloe had never done this before, but she’d felt like being bold tonight. It was something new, something that helped focus her on Rachel and not on her problems or the dreams that had ripped old wounds open anew. She groaned and moved her hips as Rachel guided her, and she nipped along her collarbone.
And… well Rachel had been with men. Just the one, but that still counted. And while she wouldn’t ruin the mood by bringing it up, it was way better than Mark. She also knew she wasn’t letting Chloe leave today without returning the favor. She dug her nails in deeper, tangling one hand in Chloe’s hair and pushing her head against her neck.
Chloe had been with a couple guys, but that had been before she’d met Rachel. Since meeting Rachel, she hadn’t been with a guy, and had since discovered she was way more into women. She moaned when Rachel dug her nails in deeper, and she had a passing thought that her back was going to be a mess when all was said and done. But she didn’t give a fuck about that right now. Keeping up the pace, she bit Rachel’s neck again, her hands grazing down her body and along her thighs as far as she could reach.
“Fuck…” Rachel dragged her nails up Chloe’s hip, her legs tightening around her. She could feel herself starting to tense up, Chloe hitting a spot that made her toes curl. She begged again, for Chloe to bite her harder, to mark her, to go faster.
She grunted a bit and started to move her hips faster against Rachel. She grazed her nails along Rachel’s thighs hard enough to break skin, and she bit her neck harder. She wanted to make Rachel scream in pleasure.
Rachel was so close she was going to scream, her entire body growing taut as the pain on her neck and thighs brought her to life. She bucked, the table shaking as she tried to meet each of Chloe’s thrusts.
She kept thrusting, her fingers digging into Rachel’s hips. Chloe dragged her tongue along the area she’d just bitten. God this was hot, and she wanted to drive Rachel over the edge.
That was… the push Rachel needed. The spring snapped inside her, and she screamed Chloe’s name as she came.
Chloe kept thrusting through Rachel’s orgasm, shuddering at the screaming her name. Finally, she slowed her thrusts to a stop, but still left the strap on buried inside Rachel as she gazed at her. “It sounded like you rather enjoyed that,” she murmured breathlessly.
A sound, like a pleased purr mixed with a ‘guh’ was the only thing Rachel could make for a few moments, before she said, “No shit?”
And promptly was overcome with the giggles.
Chloe couldn’t help but to laugh a bit at Rachel’s response and how she started giggling. “I’m very glad to hear that, then.” She said.
“You’re fucking amazing, and Iove you.” Rachel’s chest and shoulders trembled, like she was trying to keep the laughter at bay. Her whole body was shaking in general, from the effort and the emotion. She closed her eyes, her head thunking against the table. “Give me a minute and I’m going to bend you over this table.”
“Well, I just aim to please,” Chloe responded with a lazy smirk. She slid the strap-on out of Rachel, took it off and set it aside before she laid back down on the bed beside Rachel, one hand trailing along Rachel’s stomach as she leaned in and nipped at her shoulder. “You’re going to bend me over, are you?”
Oh good, they weren’t going to talk about the thing that had slipped out of Rachel’s mouth. She stroked her fingers through Choe’s hair, almost purring at the attention. “Yeah...gonna bend you over and make you beg me.”
Chloe wasn’t going to press the subject. For one, she didn’t believe Rachel actually meant it. For another, it went into the complicated area that she wasn’t ready to tread into. Especially not now when she was a mess internally. So, ignoring such comments it was. “Well then, I think that’ll be hot,” she said, fingers trailing up towards one of Rachel’s breasts.
Oh it would be hot, and Rachel would enjoy it. She just couldn’t feel her legs at the moment, and was glad Chloe hadn’t called her on her words. Because she had meant them but they were also complicated and a mess. “I’m getting wet again just thinking about it.”
“Are you sure it’s your thoughts and not where my hand’s going?” She asked, her hand reaching Rachel’s breast. She palmed it, her thumb rubbing against her nipple. Chloe had a lazy smirk on her face.
“A little in column A, and a little in column b.” Rachel slid her own hand down Chloe’s back, basking in the smile on Chloe’s face.
“That sounds more accurate,” she responded, continuing to grope Rachel. It was easy to smile when she wasn’t focused on the shit in her life. But Chloe knew that what she currently felt wouldn’t last. Which was why she wanted to drag it out for as long as possible.
Rachel laughed, mostly from Chloe being distracted by groping her. Chloe was so gentle, unlike...she felt something, like a tightness in her chest or a shock of fear up her spine. Before she could let herself think about it, she took Chloe’s hand and brought it up to her lips. Her voice was a little shaky as she whispered, “So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this and this gives life to thee.”
Rachel sat up, cupping Chloe’s face and kissing her. She didn’t know if she was spurred on by thoughts of her boyfriend’s violence or fear for Chloe’s life, but she needed to kiss her like this. Like this was their only escape, the only way they could both get away.
And she had the thought, that no matter anything else, Chloe would never hit her.
Chloe looked at Rachel when she kissed her hand. The Shakespeare seemed appropriate, given Chloe could use some life these days. She returned the kiss, tangling one hand into the hair on the back of Rachel’s head.
And no, no matter what, no matter how angry Chloe could get, she would never hit her. Chloe knew what it was like to be hit. After Rachel had left and Chloe had given up, things had gotten worse between Chloe, her mom and David. David had hit her once, and that was all she needed to know she wasn’t welcome there anymore. That was when she’d packed her stuff up and left.
If Rachel ever found out, she’d suggest a roadtrip to go burn David’s mustang. It would be fair!
She deepened the kiss, then let her hands wander down Chloe’s body until she could undo the straps. “Do you … mmm… want this one, or a different one?”
She groaned into the kiss as Rachel’s hands wandered down her body. “Mm I don’t care. Surprise me,” she responded.
There was a flash of fire in Rachel’s blood, but she broke the kiss again to say, “While I do want to bend you over this table, I more want… to look at you. If you want that.”
“I would like that,” Chloe responded, fingers brushing through Rachel’s hair. It was a turn on to think about what Rachel would do to her.
“As you wish.” Rachel flashed her a smile, wiping the toy down and setting it aside before she searched through the bag. Finding something with a vibrate function and a slight curve to it, she put it on, then stood at attention with her hands on her hips. “Are you ready to have your world rocked?”
Chloe watched as Rachel found another toy and put it on. She let her eyes run up and down Rachel’s body once she struck the pose. “Oh fuck yes, rock my world,” she responded as she locked eyes with Rachel.
Laughing, Rachel moved back to Chloe, running her hands up her legs to her waist. She rubbed the toy against her, looking down and then back to Chloe’s face. “You ready, badass beautiful?”
She gazed at Rachel, groaning as she rubbed the toy against her. “Fuck yes, I’m ready.” She wrapped her legs around Rachel, pulling her a bit closer.
She’d wanted to watch it go in, but kissing Chloe felt like a better use of her time. So she kissed her, one hand gripping her hip and the other cupping her face as she eased the toy in.
Chloe returned the kiss, one hand tangling into Rachel’s hair. She moaned into the kiss as she felt the toy start to ease into her. This was going to be quite the ride, or at least she hoped it would be.
Wanting to wait until she’d eased inside and Chloe was accustomed to the feel of it, Rachel continued to kiss her. Then she wriggled her hips as they were, in a word, joined. She propped herself up with her hand that had been on Chloe’s cheek. “I haven’t even turned it on yet and look at you.”
Her back arched and she moaned into Rachel’s mouth. Chloe’s hips bucked a little when Rachel wriggled her hips. She gazed up at Rachel when she propped herself up. “Fuck, it turns on?” That was...going to be something. “I can’t help it. It’s been a while since I’ve been penetrated by something like that.”
Looking pleased with herself, Rachel started to move. A little gentle at first, teasing and testing and getting Chloe used to the movement, enjoying the view and the effect she had on Chloe. “You set the pace, Chloe.”
And of course by ‘awhile’ Chloe meant since before she’d met Rachel. As Rachel started moving, Chloe groaned, her hips moving with Rachel’s. “Oh, fuck,” she cursed as she adjusted to the feeling of the toy inside her.
“We’ve not yet begun,” Rachel whispered, moving her hand up to grope a breast, then trace pressure across Chloe’s throat. Gradually, she increased the pace, then flicked a switch on the toy that made it vibrate - mostly in a spot that was designed to hit their clits.
Chloe groaned, arching into Rachel’s touch as she groped a breast. Once the toy started vibrating, Chloe’s breath hitched for a moment before she let out a loud moan. “Oh holy fucking shit,” she cursed, her hands trailing along Rachel’s back.
Rachel laughed, adjusting Chloe’s legs around her and then leaning down to kiss her as she started to move. Slow, even thrusts, rolling her hips. The best part of this was being able to touch and caress Chloe, and kiss her all at the same time.
She let out a guttural groan as Rachel started to move against her. Chloe returned the kiss, arms tightening around Rachel’s back. This felt amazing, and it made her head spin. Her fingers pressed into Rachel’s back, and she urged her to pick up speed.
So she did, moving faster, drawing almost all the way out of Chloe before hilting the toy inside her again. She did that again, and again as she kissed her, though the thrusts became shallower as she went faster. Rachel had always wanted to do this, always wanted to try this with Chloe. But she’d never thought she could ask.
Chloe’s moans were loud despite being muffled by Rachel’s mouth. She dragged her nails down Rachel’s back, though not enough to break skin. Her legs tightened around Rachel. The sensations running through her body were overwhelming, but in the good way. She kissed Rachel back heatedly and deeply.
Loving this, needing this, Rachel let Chloe lead her, even if she was the one on top. As fast as she wanted, as hard as she wanted. But she kissed her every chance she had, her hands feathering down Chloe’s face or her shoulders or her breasts.
Rachel was possessive, and here and now she could possess Chloe and Chloe would give herself willingly. For at least a little while. Perhaps the only time she’d be okay with Chloe giving herself.
After all, half the attraction was Chloe’s will.
Chloe was intensely willful and stubborn, she didn’t deny that. But those traits could also land her in a great deal of trouble. Case in point being when she got expelled from school. But that was neither here nor there at the moment.
Currently, she was enjoying this. She groaned and moaned, her hands moving along Rachel’s back. Then Rachel hit a spot and it was like lightning ran up her spine. “Oh fuck, right there,” she groaned as her back arched.
Yet another reason Rachel loved Chloe, even if she thought that willfulness could be aimed a little better. “Right there?” She drew out another thrust, pretending like she was going to miss that spot, but she hit that spot anyway, again, and again.
Chloe cursed again as Rachel hit that spot again and again. “Fuck, oh fuck yes,” she moaned out, rocking her hips back against Rachel. “Harder!”
Pushing herself up, Rachel dragged her nails down Chloe’s chest, cupping her breasts and playing with them for a few thrusts. She then grabbed Chloe by the waist to hold her down, while she fucked her just as hard as she was asking for it.
She let out a moan and shuddered at the nails on her chest, her legs tightened even more around Rachel as she felt her orgasm building. The coil was getting tighter and tighter within her and she was getting louder. “A little more,” she grunted.
Rachel drank in the view of Chloe, and the sound of her. It was enough to bring her close to the edge herself. Her movements became more erratic, her moans breathier, in sync with Chloe’s.
She writhed a bit under Rachel, but it didn’t take much more before the coil snapped and Chloe screamed out Rachel’s name as she orgasmed.
Chloe’s climax sent Rachel over the edge too. Her skin burned where she’d been clawed, and she’d have new bruises, but so would Chloe. Rachel had left hand and finger shaped bruises on Chloe’s hips and waist. She shuddered once more, and all but flopped on top of Chloe. “I think I have a new favorite thing.”
She’d wear the bruises well, but right now she didn’t care about them. Her head was spinning and Chloe saw stars for a few moments. She took some breaths, trying to calm down a bit. “Holy shit,” she said breathlessly. “Just. Holy shit.” She didn’t have many words just then. Her brain was trying to catch up with itself.
Rachel nuzzled Chloe’s neck, kissing lightly and completely unable to move. Her legs burned, and she started to giggle, “I think I used muscles I didn’t know I had.”
Chloe managed to lightly rub Rachel’s back gently. She had to chuckle a bit. “Yeah, that was kind of a workout, I have to say. I’m probably going to be sore later, but I don’t give a fuck.”
“Lets just...stay here today,” Rachel suggested. “We’ve got weed, I can go get us a pizza later. Lets just stay here…”
Stay here and bask.
“That definitely sounds good to me,” Chloe responded. She sure as hell didn’t want to move any time soon. So if she didn’t have to? She wouldn’t.