Bo Dennis is not a lost girl anymore (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} faetedlove) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} valarlogs,@ 2018-04-17 01:00:00 |
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What: Trying to deal with recovery from death suffered by her wife's hand.
When: Tonight
Where: Their home
Warnings: Mentions of death and stab wounds to the heart that refuse to fully heal
Status: Narrative, complete
Not wanting Lara to get too many glimpses of the wound from the knife that had pierced her heart, Bo had taken to bathing, tending and re-dressing the wound in a different bathroom. It was bad enough for Bo to see it, and she knew it was undoubtedly worse for Lara to be reminded of its existence. It was evidence that both of their worst fears had actually happened. Bo's dark side had taken over and wasn't able to be stopped or reasoned with another way, and Lara had had to kill her.
Up to this point, Bo had been able to largely shrug off her near-death experiences. She'd experienced them so often in her dreams, that when they happened in this life they didn't really phase her. But this time? It wasn't so easy to push it away. Sure it was easier to ignore it when Lara or the animals were around and Bo was actively engaged in something, whether it was watching a movie or playing a video game. But it always lingered in the back of her mind. She tended to dream about it, even though she didn't have any memory about actually being stabbed, which was good for her. However, she had a memory of the feeling of that blade in her chest, of her life slipping away.
Running water for a bath, Bo carefully pulled her top off. She wasn't going to be able to wear a bra until the wound healed. If it healed. She stared at the bandage over it, then flinched a bit as she could almost feel like the blade was still inside of her. She grabbed a waterproof bandage out of the first aid kit and put it over the bandage she had on. She slipped out of the rest of her clothes and carefully stepped into the bathtub once the water was high enough. It still hurt to move much, and trying to tie her hair back tended to cause her pain. It was a bitch to wash her hair, but she did her best to manage to wash her hair herself, not because she was being stubborn about it (even though that was probably part of it), she didn't want Lara exposed to just how in pain she was on a regular basis.
Bo somehow felt that the instant she went back to work after her month off was up, Logan would tell her to go back home. Or offer himself to heal her. An offer that was intensely tempting considering she was operating on no sex because it was too much exertion for her and she feared re-opening the wound entirely, but she was still taking hits of chi from Lara on a regular basis. But even so, Bo didn't think even if she drained Logan dry that it would do much to heal this wound. She was really starting to wonder what the hell Lara had stabbed her with, but she was afraid to ask. While she sort of needed to know, she didn't necessarily want to know. And she couldn't tell if the wound was trying to undo the healing and eventually kill her again, or if it had just taken part of her away.
Kneeling in the tub, Bo placed her forearms on the sides of the tub and closed her eyes as she leaned forward a bit. She grabbed a washcloth and soap and started to scrub a bit, careful to keep her movements even and slow. Once her skin was clean, Bo started on the long process of washing her hair. She paused several times during the process to clench her jaw in pain from using her arms so much. Eventually, she managed to get her hair washed. She then drained the water from the tub before filling it up again, and this time, she leaned back in the tub, letting herself relax and she closed her eyes, some tears fell from the corners of her eyes. She hated this, but there was only so much she could do when her healing power wasn't really working to actually heal her. And she didn't think the thing was healing naturally either.
Bo soaked in the tub for a little while before she slowly got up, drained the water, then dried off. Pulling her underwear and pajama pants back on, she stood in front of the mirror and peeled off the waterproof bandage before she carefully peeled off the next bandage. The wound itself was clean cut, and there was no sign of infection, but it was still kind of seeping. Shuddering at the sight, Bo grabbed a fresh gauze pad to gently clean away the seepage, then she added some disinfectant to the area, then carefully applied a fresh bandage to it. She knew that sooner or later, she'd need to actually talk to Lara about the wound, how it wasn't really healing past the point it already had healed to, and ask about what she'd been stabbed with. But for now, she just applied the new bandage, then pulled her tanktop back on. She put the first aid kit away, then brushed her hair out before she headed out of the bathroom and went to park herself in front of a TV for a while. She needed some mindless entertainment for the time being, and she hoped that the pain from the wound would fade. She really didn't want to take any painkillers.
Everything hurt, and she wasn't entirely sure how to properly deal with it. What could one do about a wound that wouldn't heal? Bo had no choice but to find a way to live with it, even if that meant being in pain for the rest of her life. So she was going to do what she could to find a way to live with it.