Corvo is (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dishonored) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} valarlogs,@ 2018-03-29 00:13:00 |
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Who: Corvo and Miranda
What: drinking non-alcoholic beverages and talking in circles about things.
When: After Miranda got back from Mars apparently.
Where: Miranda's place
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13
Miranda knew they needed to talk about their ill-advised night together. She’d just tried to put it off a little bit. But she couldn’t avoid it forever, so finally she’d invited Corvo over so they could talk. She had daddy issues, but she wanted to ensure that her relationship with Corvo wasn’t permanently damaged from their night together.
Which had been rather enjoyable. Just...highly ill-advised for multiple reasons. Still, they were both adults, and could talk this out. And hopefully come out of it without it happening again. Miranda had enough problems and she didn’t really need to exacerbate them by having ongoing sexual relations with Corvo added to them.
“Hi, Corvo. Come in,” she said as she let him in.
Corvo had been trying not to think about it. It wasn’t that Miranda wasn’t an attractive woman (or not his type, to be frank), but they had never really had that kind of relationship. He felt guilty, and angry at himself for getting so down that he’d make that kind of mistake.
It had been very good, at least. “Hey.”
“Can I get you anything? Like water?” Because Miranda didn’t think alcohol was a good idea since that had been one of the factors to lead to their mistake being made. And, well, they also needed to be relatively sober for this conversation to work.
“Water sounds perfect.” Corvo nodded at her, agreeing with the idea of staying sober for this. He wanted to apologize for his actions, but he wasn’t always the kind of person to apologize unless it was warranted. He wasn’t sure this was warranted yet, it was both their faults, and they were both adults. Miranda was over 30, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t attracted to Elizabeth who was a few years younger.
He really did have a type.
“Are you doing okay?”
Miranda went and got some water for them both. She needed to give her liver a break from alcohol for a while. She handed a glass to Corvo before she sat down, trying to figure out how to answer his question. She wasn’t doing okay, but it wasn’t just because of their night together. Her conversation with Isabela was bothering her as well, despite her best efforts to pretend it didn’t.
“Not really, to be honest. And it’s not all because of our having slept together. That’s only part of it. Something else happened that I’m trying to not be upset about, and I’m kind of failing at it.” Corvo was the type that Miranda could never lie to. She didn’t know why, but it was probably that whole father-figure thing.
Corvo never thought that anything was just about him. He wasn’t that kind of egoist. He nodded at her, lifting his drink to his lips. “Do you want to start with that?”
He sure wouldn’t mind putting off their own awkward conversation.
That would definitely be a little easier to talk about than their own awkward conversation. Miranda nodded a bit and took a drink of water. “You remember back around Valentine’s Day when people were falling in love or becoming obsessed with people or things? Well, I was affected and found myself hopelessly in love with Isabela, and she was hopelessly in love with me. It was...weird. I mean that in the sense that I’d never thought about women like that before.”
She took a breath. “But she was very sweet. She even sent me flowers and we kissed. But a day or two after our night together, she texted me and we finally talked about it. She doesn’t do commitment and I don’t do no strings. And that hurt more than I thought it would. I mean, I don’t even completely know if I like women, but I seem to like her. It’s just...really confusing and I know I shouldn’t be upset, but I am.”
Corvo took another long drink. “Yeah, I got hit by that bug too. Man named Joe. I’ve thought about men before, but that was… sudden.”
He leaned forward, watching Miranda as she talked. “Did you ...just...kiss?”
For most other men there would probably be something lecherous about that comment. For Corvo, he was trying to establish a base-line and gather more information to better help Miranda.
“But you’re still thinking about her?”
Miranda raised an eyebrow at hearing Corvo got hit with that and had fallen for another man. It was intriguing to her.
“Yes, we just kissed. Nothing more than that.” Miranda didn’t know if that was better than having had sex or not. The way things looked now, that would’ve been her only chance to have had sex with Isabela. Now it was impossible. Isabela didn’t do relationships and Miranda didn’t exactly like no strings sex when she liked someone.
He nodded. “That could be good or bad, depending on the person. If she’s a no-strings person, it might actually make it worse for her, since some people might view kissing as more intimate, more emotional, though that’s not limited to promiscuous people.”
Just Kissing was certainly more emotional for him.
“She’s definitely the no strings type. I’m the strings type when any sort of emotions are involved. So either way, someone was going to get hurt, and that someone was going to be me.” Either with their conversation culminating in not pursuing anything either way, or if they’d had sex, it would’ve hurt Miranda that it would’ve been nothing more than that.
Miranda sighed heavily, rubbing her forehead. “Whatever infected me, I wish it hadn’t. Then I wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“You’re really into her, aren’t you.” Corvo stated. He wondered how much of it was this woman, and how much was it being a woman. “There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a woman, Miranda. You’re never too old to figure things out.”
He flashed her a smile, “Besides, it’s probably something that would piss your dad off, and that’s never a bad thing.”
“Yeah, I am. We have a lot in common.” Miranda ran a hand through her hair and sighed a bit. “I know that. I’m still trying to figure out if it’s women I’m attracted to, or just Isabela. Though I guess it doesn’t really matter.” It didn’t matter because a relationship was out of the question, so Miranda would just have to get over her crush or whatever this was.
“Believe me, that was the first thing that crossed my mind. And I’d so be into it.” Except Isabela wasn’t, so that was the end of that.
Corvo chuckled. “Ever catch yourself looking at one of the other dancers a little too long? Or spend too much time staring at a woman across the street? Take some time, think about it.”
Miranda did think about it. And, well, Corvo had a point. There’d been a few dancers she’d worked with that she’d stared at. Hell, she’d even stared at Aria T’Loak a little too long at times. “Yeah, I have.”
“So it’s not just your star-crossed lover. Whatever was going around that was making people fall in love with … everything, it only brought out what was already there. At least for you. Do you feel uncomfortable? Thinking about her, or any of them. Or the kiss.”
“The only one that makes me feel uncomfortable thinking about is my boss, Aria T’Loak. She’s in my dreams and runs a place that makes me take a scalding hot shower following decontamination after I’ve been there. But the rest? No. And definitely not the kiss.” She then looked at Corvo. “And I swear if you tell anyone what I just told you about my boss, I will hurt you.”
Holding up his hand, Corvo assured her, “I won’t tell anyone about your boss. I promise.”
He’d seen her once, and Corvo couldn’t blame her for feeling attracted. Honestly it would have been better to get his own problems out on Aria’s ass, but one couldn’t rewind and chance the past.
Damn that would be useful. “I think wondering about your sexuality is going to be a net positive.”
“Perhaps, but there’s only one Isabela. And that’s not going to work out.” Miranda sighed heavily. “This is why letting emotions happen is a bad idea. They just mess everything up.” She did have an aversion to developing feelings for someone, and she had some for Isabela. Which was why no strings sex wouldn’t work.
“Are you going to try to be her friend?” Corvo thought they should probably try, at least. And god only knew what might develop into. “I’m not going to disagree, emotions complicate things, they make things messy. But they’re also really nice, even when they hurt.”
He hadn’t talked about Jessamine much to Miranda, though Emily probably had. He wasn’t going to talk about Elizabeth - he hadn’t really spoke to her much since he’d gotten fired.
Okay, emotions sucked.
“Yes, I am. I still want to try and be in her life.” Miranda took a drink of water and wished it was alcohol. “I could do without the hurt.” Of course, everyone could do without the hurt. And she had heard about Jessamine from Emily. She never broached the subject with Corvo, knowing if he wanted to talk about her, he would.
“I’m not sure you’ll be able to do without the hurt. But you can get past it. It’s a life experience.” It felt like he’d just picked her up again, and was giving her advice about dealing with her little sister. Not that she was a fully grown adult 12 years older than Emily.
“Yeah, a life experience.” She said with a little sigh. “I suppose that at least she opened my eyes to women?” Not that Miranda anticipated getting into a relationship with one, or anyone, any time soon. She had a tendency to keep that sort of thing far too close to her chest and not wanting to open herself up to other people.
Trust issues and all.
“Double the potential suitors,” Corvo joked. That didn’t really mean anything, he hadn’t slept around all that much after Jessamine had died, and all of those had been generally meaningless sex. Nothing emotional.
“I suppose that’s true.” Miranda hadn’t been lacking for potential suitors in the past. She was just horribly picky about who she wanted to date, and she never settled for anything less than the best. And she’d started thinking that Isabela was that. But perhaps she was wrong.
“Answer me this,” Corvo said, content to keep the subject from the two of them still. “If she was willing to have strings, would you go for it?”
“Yes, I think I would. Even though I’d think she’d be happier with someone else who actually knew how sex with women even worked from first-hand experience.” Miranda hadn’t really met any other women that she wanted to experiment with in the sex department to get that kind of experience.
“I’m sure she’d be happy to show you the ropes.” Corvo got up to refill his water. He was also feeling a little hungry but he wasn’t going to raid Miranda’s kitchen. Says the man who’d raided Elizabeth’s.
“She did tell me that, that it would be an honor to her to be my first woman. Even so, I’d feel like I would be a disappointment.” Now, Miranda was definitely the exact opposite of a disappointment when it came to sex with men. Even when drunk. Corvo could now attest to that. But women? That was an entirely different animal altogether.
“I can’t believe I’m going to be saying this,” Corvo said, returning with a refilled glass. “But if you know how to get yourself off you’re going to have a nice head start with another woman. Once you’re actually … there… most of those concerns evaporate.”
He spoke with the weight of experience.
Miranda looked at Corvo when he came back, giving him a look that seemed to say ‘I also can’t believe you’re saying that.’ “Maybe you’re right. But again, not like I’ll be having a chance to actually see what that’s like.” She leaned back on the couch and leaned her head back so she was looking at the ceiling.
“Sometimes I wish I was just an ice cold bitch who didn’t give a shit about people.” Miranda was good at pretending to be one, but she could never hold people at bay for very long. She’d been frosty with Corvo initially, if only because she was an angry teenager and hadn’t trusted Corvo completely. She’d only trusted him to help her and her sister because he had no ties to her father (yes, she’d done her research back then).
“You’ve always been good at pretending you’re one, but then I’ve seen the way you looked after your sister, and Emily when she needed it.”
He’d considered eliminating her father. But he didn’t want it coming back down on her if something went wrong. But did he ever want to do it.
“Ice exterior with a soft and squishy center.”
“My sister and Emily are my downfall.” Miranda was both proud and deathly afraid of that. She knew that her father knew that the best way to hurt her was to go after Orianna. Orianna was Miranda’s berserk button.
“What’s that saying these days, looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll? Yeah, that’s probably me.” Once Miranda let people in and trusted them, she would always have their backs. Unless they proved themselves a traitor, of course.
“I’m pretty sure you could kill someone too.” Corvo actually knew that meme. Did that make him a charred cinnamon roll? Possibly. But he could kill you too.
He looked down into his drink. “So… about the other night.”
“Yes, I could. I’ve killed a lot of people in my dreams.” She hadn’t killed anyone in this life. Yet. But she knew she would kill her father if he came anywhere near her or Orianna.
And then Corvo shifted onto the topic that neither of them wanted to talk about, but they most definitely needed to talk about it. She took a drink of water.
“Yes...we definitely need to talk about it. I’m not entirely sure where to start, other than with the fact it was not the smartest choice in the world.” She scratched her head a little awkwardly. “And yet it also wasn’t the worst choice I’ve ever made.”
“I’d agree with that,” Corvo gestured with his hand, as if to say ‘that, all of that.’ “But I’d have felt a lot worse if it had happened when you were younger.”
He wasn’t sure there’d be enough drink for that, actually, but he still felt bad even entertaining the idea.
“Yes, I agree as well. If it had happened when I was younger that would’ve...not been good.” Which was an understatement, but at least Miranda was over 30. That counted for something, anyway. “Perhaps we should make an agreement that in the future when either of us is down and needing company, alcohol should by no means be involved.” Otherwise there’d probably be a repeat of the other night.
“Agreed.” Corvo lifted his glass in a toast. “And we never tell Oriana or Emily. They can never know.”
They’d never hear the end of it at best. He knocked back his water, and looked at Miranda again.
“God no, I’m never telling either of them about it.” She lifted her own glass in a toast and knocked the rest of it back. It had been a bit unbearable coming from Shepard. It was be far, far worse coming from Oriana or Emily.
It would be their secret. A not so shameful one, but a secret none-the-less. “So. Are we okay?”
“Yeah, we’re okay.” Miranda responded, giving Corvo a smile. “Though now I know what you look like naked. Gotta say, you’ve kept in good shape.” She really couldn’t help that one.
Corvo opened his mouth and then closed it, and looked actually a little bashful. And he couldn’t even respond with a comment about her body, and she probably knew it. Finally, he coughed, and replied “Good to know, think I could get you to write a review?”
Miranda just smirked, a little gleam in her blue eyes. She definitely knew he couldn’t respond with a comment about her body. It kind of made her a little proud. “I think it’s certainly possible, yes.”
“Great, because I’ve been a complete failure with … some people lately.”
He hadn’t actually meant to admit that.
Miranda frowned a little, her face turning more serious. “I’m sorry, Corvo. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Aside from making mistakes, obviously.
“Did I tell you I got fired?” Corvo asked. “By my last client. Because we were too attracted to each other.”
He worried about her. She was still in danger and he’d taken it upon himself to make sure she was still secure, but he couldn’t properly protect her if she didn’t let him. “Which is probably a wise thing to do.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, Corvo.” Was this the time to make a Bodyguard comment? Probably only if she wanted to be a bit insensitive, so Miranda bit her tongue on that. “Have you talked to them at all since you were fired?”
“No, not since then. I gave another once over of her building and filled in a few security gaps I’d had on the schedule.” And maybe stalked her a little. Not the bad kind of stalking, but the ‘this is a public event she’s at and I don’t trust the goon squad’ type of stalking. A freebie.
And okay, he’d wanted to see her one more time.
Honestly he should just ask her out.
“Perhaps you should try talking to her.” Miranda suggested. Given he’d said there was a mutual attraction, maybe they could make something work. Or at least be on talking terms, anyway.
“Listen to you, offering reasonable suggestions to help me get laid.”
“I have reasonable suggestions sometimes, you know,” she said with a little chuckle.
“I’d tell you to do the same,” Corvo replied, leaning his cheek on his hand. “But that might just complicate matters more.”
“Perhaps, but your situation at least still has hope. Mine is pretty clear nothing more than friendship is going to happen.” Unless Miranda was able to shake the feelings and be able to do no strings with Isabela. But knowing how she was, that would never happen. And she certainly didn’t think Isabela would change her mind on the matter.
Part of Corvo hoped that did happen. He wanted Miranda to be happy, and this was perhaps the first time he’d ever seen her get torn up about someone.
“I’ll keep you posted.”