Who: Tyler and Caroline What: Comforting Caroline after the funeral Where:Liz's Caroline's house When: Tonight Warning/Rating: Some minor compulsion and lots of grieving Status: Complete
Caroline was drained. Both physically and emotionally. For the past week all her energy had been on the funeral. Making sure everything was taken care of for her mother to have the perfect funeral. From picking out the coffin, to the church, to the flowers, who would speak when. There was no detail that Caroline hadn’t thought of. She had been so focused on that she hadn’t really had time to grieve. She didn’t allow herself to have time to grieve. Caroline was afraid if she started crying she might never stop.
The funeral had been everything her mother deserved. Caroline sang ‘Go in Peace’, some of the police officers Liz worked with gave a nice tribute placing a flag over her coffin and calling her radio for the last time, even Caroline’s dad had come through with the eulogy. During the reception Caroline put on a brave face, forcing a smile and thanking everyone for coming.
And now it was all over. Caroline was back at her house. The house she shared with her mother. Even though Tyler was there with her, it felt strangely empty. Caroline had to keep going. As exhausted as she was, she had to keep herself busy. Because once she stopped the day would be over. Her mother would really be gone, and she wouldn’t be able to keep the tears from flowing. So she played hostess. “Can I get you anything?” she asked Tyler. “Water? Tea? Alcohol?”
Tyler had taken back by how beautiful the ceremony was. He wasn’t that ashamed to admit that he had shed tears more than once during it. Caroline had, of course, sang beautifully, but then, she always did. He wondered if this had been how the funeral had been in the dreams, and felt a fresh wave of guilt over the fact that he’d been so drunk that Matt hadn’t even let him in through the doors.
“I think we could both use a drink,” Tyler said. Part of him wanted to force Caroline to sit down and just relax and take everything in, but he knew that keeping herself busy was her own way of dealing with her grief.
Tyler was right. She could definitely use a drink. Caroline grabbed a bottle of scotch and poured them each a drink. She didn’t usually drink the hard stuff. Caroline was more a fan of wine, beer, and cocktails. But tonight called for straight up scotch. She brought both glasses over to the coffee table, being sure to set them down on coasters. Just because her mom was gone didn’t mean the house had to fall apart.
Soon Tyler would get his wish. Caroline would sit down on the couch and have a drink. But not yet. She wasn’t ready to stop yet. “Do you need anything else? Something to eat? I have a lot of casseroles.” And some left over horderves from the reception.
“No, I’m fine. I ate on the way over,” Tyler said, which was true enough. It wasn’t like he was going to sneak a bag of blood into Liz’s funeral or sit down and drink it with Caroline. “If you want to make something for yourself, I might eat then. Or you could sit and we can kill this bottle.”
Caroline wasn’t all that hungry herself. So no food for now. Drinking seemed like a much better option. And Tyler was right, one glass was not going to be enough. So Caroline grabbed the bottle placing that on the coffee table as well. Finally she took a seat on the couch picking up her glass. However, she didn’t drink just yet. She just raised it. “To my mom,” she said giving her mom a toast before drinking. With that she downed the glass in one long sip, making a face as the alcohol burned her throat on the way down. But that didn’t stop her. She immediately poured herself another one.
“To Liz,” Tyler echoed, clinking his glass against Caroline’s and knocking back the drink. He probably should have been the one pouring drinks for them, but he’d let Caroline maintain this until she was too drunk. “You know, she was really proud of you, Care.”
“I know,” Caroline replied sadly taking another sip of her drink. “I just wish I had been there to say goodbye. I should have been.” It was something Caroline didn’t think she would ever be able to forgive herself for. How could she not have been there to say goodbye to her mom? She should have never gone out with Ethan. That whole ‘relationship’ had been a huge mistake. One that she would regret for the rest of her life probably.
“Did she say anything?” Caroline asked with another sip. Tyler had been there for Liz when Caroline wasn’t. It was something she would never forget and always be thankful for. It made her fall all that much more in love with him, which only added to her hurt, because she knew he didn’t feel the same.
“Yeah,” Tyler said, taking Caroline’s free hand in his. “She made sure that I promised that I’d tell you. That she saw that you’d become this strong, independent woman. And that she was so proud of you. She made me promise I’d let you know. Her last words were all about you.” She’d also made Tyler promise that he’d take care of Caroline, help her get through all of this, but Tyler didn’t see any point in sharing that.
Tyler was right, that last part was better left unsaid. It would have just upset Caroline (even more than she already was) and probably caused her to kick Tyler out. She didn’t want him or anyone being there for her because they felt obligated to.
However what he did say brought tears to Caroline’s eyes. She let them fall. Other than at breakfast that morning before the funeral, Caroline had been holding back all day. Doing her best to keep it together. But she couldn’t anymore. “I should have been there,” Caroline said again through blurry eyes. “It should have been me she said it to. I should have heard her last words. I should have said goodbye.”
Tyler didn’t want to make Caroline feel as though he was only there out of obligation. He would have been here, next to Caroline right now, whether Liz had asked him to or not.
He opened his arms to her and pulled her into them, rubbing her back gently. He didn’t know what to say. He knew Liz wouldn’t have wanted Caroline’s life to stop, but he couldn’t very well have said that Liz didn’t want her there, because that probably hadn’t been true either. All he could do right now was hold her, and hope that the right words would come to him.
And there Tyler went again, wrapping her in his arms. How was it possible for one person to make her feel so safe and comforted?
Maybe it was the scotch, or maybe it was just the whole entire day, but before Caroline knew what she was doing she was tilting her head up. Her teary eyes locked onto Tyler’s. And then, before she could stop herself her lips locked onto his.
Without thinking, Tyler returned the kiss. He’d be lying if he couldn’t admit to himself that he hadn’t thought of doing exactly this when Caroline had confessed to him that she was still in love with him, but with everything that she was going through, with Blossom still being in the back of his mind, he couldn’t, in good conscious, follow through.
And with that thought, he realized exactly what he was doing. Caroline was drunk, and she’d just come from her mother’s funeral. He couldn’t take advantage of her while she was vulnerable, not like this. Regretfully, he broke the kiss, and with his hands on her shoulders, gently pushed her back. “Care,” he said, and then the rest of his words caught in his throat. He swallowed, hoping the lump in his throat would disappear. “We can’t do this right now,” he said. “Not like this.”
For the brief moment that Tyler returned the kiss, Caroline completely melted into it. She needed this. She needed him. But just as quickly as he returned it he pulled away. A mix of emotions crossed over Caroline’s face, confusion, disappointment, embarrassment. Had she really just done that? Tyler was her friend. Nothing more. Despite what they were in the past, despite what she wanted him to be now, he was just her friend. She needed to accept that and stop deluding herself into thinking there was something more. Tyler was there for her because he was her friend. Even if he had briefly kissed her back.
“Right,” Caroline said tears welling up in her eyes once again. Not that they had been gone for all that long. It was an emotional day and this was just the cherry on top. “Sorry,” she backed up, away from him, away from his touch, completely off the couch. “I shouldn’t have done that,” her eyes fell to the floor, unable to look at Tyler.
Dammit, Tyler had really screwed up, and he didn’t know how to make it right. “No, Caroline, it’s not like that,” Tyler said, and offered a bit of a crooked, hopefully comforting, smile, hoping she’d look at him again. “It’s not that I didn’t want to or anything like that. It’s just… It doesn’t feel right right now, you know?” He hoped that she would.
It didn’t feel right. Caroline wasn’t sure what to make of that. Was it because of her? Or because of the day in general? Or maybe he was just saying that to make he feel better and save some embarrassment.
She wiped her tears away forcing a smile on her face. “Yeah,” she said softly finally looking up at Tyler. “I know. It’s been a long day. You should probably just go.”
Tyler’s brows furrowed together, and he looked into Caroline’s face, trying to figure out what she was thinking. “Do you really want me to?” he asked.
No she didn’t want Tyler to leave. But it was for the best. She had just made a fool out of herself on the day of her mom’s funeral no less. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to lie to Tyler. “No,” she admitted, her voice practically a whisper.
“Then I’m not leaving,” Tyler said, settling deeper into the couch as if to punctuate his statement. He didn’t think he would have been able to leave now even if Caroline had told him that she really did want him to leave. It was hard seeing Caroline like this, but it would be harder to leave her alone.
As humiliating as that whole kiss thing was, Caroline felt a small smile tugging at her lips at Tyler’s words. It was nice to know he still wanted to be there for her. As a friend. “Thanks,” Caroline said taking a seat again. Although not back on the couch. She didn’t feel right being that close to Tyler after what just happened. Instead she took a seat in the arm chair. “I don’t know how to be alone in this house,” she admitted finishing off her second drink. “I’m not ready.”
“You don’t have to be alone in the house until you’re ready,” Tyler said. “I’ll stick around for as long as you need me to.” He didn’t know Marguerite very well at all, but she also seemed like the type who would be there for Caroline for as long as she needed.
It occurred to him though, that maybe he could speed the process along a little. He only had a small idea of what she was going through, but it was enough that, in the dreams, she’d turned off her humanity to not deal with the pain of it all. And he could make that go away without her losing her humanity. “But,” he said, looking her in the eyes. “I don’t think it’ll be as bad as you think it will be. When you wake up tomorrow, it won’t hurt like this anymore. You’ll miss her, but you’ll be glad for the time you got to spend together, and for how much she loved you and how much you loved her.”
Caroline knew she was lucky to have such amazing friends in Tyler and Marguerite. They had been there for her so much over the past week. She didn’t think she could have survived it without them. But it wasn’t fair to ask Tyler to keep putting his life on hold for her. He had a job and other things to do. But tonight, she just couldn’t be alone yet.
Caroline doubted the hurt would magically lessen over the night. But she knew Tyler was just trying to help. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Maybe.” She got up walking back to the coffee table to refill her glass. “But tonight, I drink.” Probably not the most healthy way to handle her grief. But she had to do something to ease this unbearable pain.
“Tonight we drink,” Tyler echoed, and poured them both another.