Ozma (boyprincessofoz) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2018-01-19 22:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | elsa of arendelle, ozma |
Who: Elsa and Ozma
What: Breaking up kind of
When: Recently
Where: Ozma’s apartment
Rating/Warnings: Low
Status: Complete when posted
Elsa walked up the steps to Ozma’s place, knocking a little nervously. She felt like she was walking to the gallows, which was kind of a stupid thing to feel, but she felt it. While they’d talked a little about their relationship, she’d never felt fully settled, or fully understanding of what they were to each other or what they could be to each other.
She let out a breath and clasped her hands behind her back.
***
Ozma had been waiting for Elsa’s knock, keeping herself busy near the door by messing with the flowers she kept in a vase there. Shifting them around in the water as if trying to decide what order they looked best in. She took a deep breath as she rubbed her hands on her jeans before moving to the door and pulling it open. “Hey. I didn’t know if you’d want dinner or what you’d want so I didn’t order anything.”
***
Elsa smiled at Ozma, her expression brightening when she saw her. “I’m not that hungry, so it’s okay.”
She wanted to lean in and hug her, kiss her. Probably do some other things to her. But she didn’t know how to bring it up, and wasn’t the kind of person to be touchy, just yet.
***
Ozma smiled at her. “You look beautiful. Come on in before you freeze.” She stopped after a moment, realizing what she’d just said and to who before shaking her head. “Is it too late to take that last part back?” she asked waving her in and closing the door behind her.
***
“Freezing is the least likely thing to happen to me,” Elsa pointed out, unable to let Ozma take it back. She grinned as she came inside, letting her hand brush against Ozma’s. “It’s.. nice to see you.”
Okay that sounded stupid and she winced.
***
Ozma grabbed onto Elsa’s hand as it brushed against hers and gave a gentle squeeze before releasing it. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately. You’d think with the weather they’d stop wanting to do bikini shoots but - the opposite is true.”
***
Despite herself, Elsa blushed.She tried not to think about Ozma being a model or some of the things she wore at these shoots. It was horrible distracting and a little embarrassing. “It’s all right. I know you’re busy.”
***
“I should never let myself get too busy for the people I care about Elsa. Next time it happens - just show up and talk some sense into me. Please?” Ozma said, looking over her shoulder as she walked into her kitchen. “Glass of wine?” She offered, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet before moving for the bottle in her fridge.
***
“Okay.” Elsa still lacked confidence in interpersonal relationships, especially such an intimate one where she was constantly questioning where they stood and even what her own feelings were. She never expected to hook up with someone, physically or otherwise, and she couldn’t say she loved Ozma.
But she really liked her and she really liked doing things with her. And not just Things(™).
“I’ll have just one glass.”
***
“You don't mind white wine I hope.” Ozma said, pouring for them both and then handing Elsa a glass, taking a sip to calm her nerves before continuing.
“So gorgeous - what have you been up to?”
***
“White is good,” Elsa assured her, taking the glass gratefully. She definitely needed to calm her nerves.
“Nothing much. Hard at work, finalized the design for L-Corp.”
***
“Sounds like maybe I should try a bit harder to drag you away from work sometimes too.” Ozma said, teasing just a little bit.
“What’s going on Elsa? Not that I mind you showing up anytime but - something seems to be on your mind.”
***
“I could use it. Being dragged away.” She ran her hand down her braid, and sipped at the wine
slowly. “There’s a lot on my mind. Work, life, dreams. You.”
***
“It’s a deal then. I’ll make sure to drag you away from it sometimes and make sure you have fun that doesn’t involve designing things.” Ozma arched her brow at the comment about her being on Elsa’s mind.
“Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I’ve been on your mind?”
***
“I don’t know.” Elsa rubbed at her hands with her fingers, making a thing sheet of ice around her skin as she did so. “I don’t know how serious this is supposed to be. I’ve never been in a relationship before. Is this one?”
***
Ozma paused, looking at Elsa over her glass. “I think that depends on us. I haven’t really thought about whether it was or not.” She admitted, knowing even as she said the words how horrible they might sound.
She licked her lips nervously. “I haven’t had a lot of experience in this area myself.” Flings, flirtations, one night stands. Friends with benefits those were more along Ozma’s area of expertise with relationships.
***
Well that hurt. Elsa hid her emotions, knowing it wasn’t Ozma’s fault. “I don’t really know what you want. I don't even know what I want.”
It was also the truth, and also something that hurt to admit. But Elsa couldn’t do casual or benefits for long, no matter how much she liked a person.
***
“I know that I like you. A lot. And that I like spending time with you and getting to talk with you about things.” She set her glass down on the counter.
“I also know that I don’t want to hurt you. But that - I don’t have the best track record at not
doing that to people.”
***
“I don’t want to tie you down.” Elsa rubbed her palm again, the air growing noticeably cooler. “Or to resent me because you feel that way. Or what if this is just some… thing that started because of that tower and it ends up not meaning anything?”
***
“I’d like to think we’d have met up at some point anyway.” Ozma said, giving Elsa a small smile.
“I care about you a lot Elsa. But there’s other people I care about too,” she admitted softly. “I’m not sure if it’s the same way as I do you but - I don’t want to lie and tell you that it’s not if it could be. And I’m making a horrible mess out of explaining myself aren’t I?”
***
Elsa shook her head, folding her arms across her chest. She knew what she had to say and had to do, but that didn’t make it any easier or make it hurt any less. She tried to lighten it with a little pun. “Maybe we should… cool things down a little.”
***
Ozma gave her a weak sort of smile at that pun, a part of her wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch Elsa’s arm, but the rest of her was telling her that wasn’t going to do any good for either of them. She shoved the tears down and nodded her head. “That’s probably a good idea. That way we don’t do something either of us will grow to hate each other over.”
***
Coming here was a mistake, and Elsa could feel the air starting to suffocate her with its thickness. She swallowed, sighing heavily, and fought the urge to apologize. As for her own tears, you couldn’t cry if your tearducts were frozen solid... “I should go. I’m sure you had plans tonight.”
***
“Nothing important. I’d ask you to stay but - seems a bit counterintuitive with cooling things down some doesn’t it?” Ozma said, trying to keep a calm smile on her face and ignoring the little quiver in her voice. She drained her wine glass, reaching for the bottle to pour another but then stopping herself. At the most it would be a temporary escape and that wouldn’t do her any good.
***
Standing, Elsa felt like she was choking, and swallowed hard as she tried to control her powers before she turned the entire place into an icicle.
“I’m sorry.”
She turned and walked away, hands clenched tightly in front of her.
***
Ozma followed her to the door, emotions churning inside her. “Elsa - you didn’t do anything to be sorry for. I’m sorry that I hurt you. Believe me that was never what I wanted to do,” Ozma said, leaning against the door as she watched Elsa step through it and leave.