Literally Pirateninja (shadowcat) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-09-26 03:17:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, clarice ferguson (blink), kitty pryde (shadowcat), moira mactaggert, xi'an coy manh (karma) |
She had to have faith in Moira and the others. She had to believe that they could fix this.
Who: Kitty, Xi’an, Clarice and Moira
What: Clarice gets checked out by Moira while Kitty and Xi’an have a moment.
When: Monday
Where: Stark Tower
Status: Complete
Rating: PG13 for daww
Clarice had come down to check up on Kitty - and to speak to Moira, about her skin. Xi’an had driven. She was pinker, and her eyes were a lot brighter of a green than they should of been. Her hair had gone from a blonde, to a strawberry blonde to a very rich pink. Very faintly, tattoos had appeared on her face. Or perhaps they were markings. She didn’t know.
“I dunnae know for sure lass. It’s a wee bit like Neena, like yuir revertin’ tae a natural state. Look, here, ye seem tae be even more flexible. Yuir spine has gotten almost..elastic.”
Clarice stared at it, then at Moira, and sighed, “Thanks....”
Xi’an had patted Clarice’s shoulder and gone to check on Kitty so Moira and Clarice could have a little privacy. She hoped Moira and the people Moira was in contact with could figure out a way to make Kitty solid again soon. The bed felt empty without Kitty there to share it, and she’d caught herself reaching for her lover several times when she wasn’t awake enough to remember that Kitty wasn’t there.
Moira squeezed Clarice's shoulder, and guided her a bit farther away from Kitty and Xi'an to give some semblance of privacy. She quickly checked something on a monitor, then sat Clarice down, "It's nothin' tae be ashamed of."
"I'm an actress. I don't know how I'm going to explain this, let alone..." Let alone be able to act in plays, "I look like a cartoon character."
Kitty was floating around in her tank. She felt like a fish. A goldfish, only one with a longer memory. Something for people to peer in and observe. At least with Xi'an there she wasn't embarrassed to be effectively nude. She pressed her hand against the glass, the only real solid contact she could make thanks to the field that kept her inside it, and gazed longingly at Xi'an. Really, she'd been desperate to see her.
Xi’an pressed her hand up against the glass where Kitty’s hand was. It wasn’t nearly as good as actually touching, but it was something, at least. She sighed. “I miss you,” she said. “I wish I could be here all the time. And I really, really hope Moira or someone figures out a way to fix this soon...”
She nodded her head. Xi'an had work, and the twins, and really it would drive her nuts if she was around all the time. That didn't stop her from missing her, or wanting to touch, be touched, kiss, make love, or even just smell her. She formed a heart with her fingers and then pressed her forehead to the glass as well.
Meanwhile, Moira was wishing she could tell Clarice about Illyana and the Legacy, but she'd sworn to keep silent. That was up to the Russian, "Don't worry lass. Ye may just need tae take certain roles for awhile."
Xi’an smiled, feeling a prickle of tears in her eyes. She pressed her forehead against the glass, too, her heart aching. She wished she could fix things, but this was beyond her knowledge. She was, however, extremely thankful that there were other people around who could build things like this to keep Kitty safe.
I'm hurting you Kitty thought, even if it would never reach Xi'an. Maybe it was better if it didn't reach her. It was a darker thought. Maybe it would have been better had she decided to just keep them as friends. Safer for Xi'an, Leong and Nga, at any rate, but was that any more fair to them? To deny them the family they'd built, because she was afraid?
It was okay to cry. Kitty trailed a finger down her own cheek for Xi'an. It was okay to cry.
That made the tears come. She’d spent so much of the time trying to manage to be optimistic in front of the twins that she hadn’t really cried. At least, not where anyone could see. She’d cried in her and Kitty’s room, but that had been it. “I love you...I love you...”
Clarice had started in their direction, then turned back around. They needed this. She thought she would need the same, were that Illyana in the tank.
It started in her chest, a tightness that felt strange when she could feel nothing physically. Her jaw quivered, her eyes grew misty. No tears came, but Kitty was crying. She slapped her hand ineffectually against her cage, but held Xi'an's eyes. She moved her lips, as clearly as possible trying to tell Xi'an that she loved her too. She couldn't comfort her any more than that.
Kitty had thought that the crying would help Xi'an. She didn't know if she'd been right. Selfishly, she realized she'd needed to see Xi'an's tears.
It did help a little to cry. It didn’t fix anything, but it lifted some of the weight of it all from Xi’an’s shoulders. It was a small comfort, being able to visit Kitty alone like this.
She cried for a while, and then wiped her eyes. "Leong and Nga miss you. And they said to say that the kittens miss you, too." She chuckled softly. The twins were worried, but they were trying not to show it too much.
Nodding her head, Kitty gave Xi'an a tense smile. She hated worrying her kids almost as much as she hated worrying Xi'an. They were just kids. Her kids. The realization stunned her like a smack upside the head.
She'd thought of them as her kids, and it had taken no effort on her part to do so.
Swallowing, though there was no point to it, mentally it made her feel better, she gave Xi'an a thumbs up, then blew her a kiss.
Xi’an took a deep breath. She returned the thumbs up and blew Kitty a kiss in return. “I’ll hug them for you,” she said. She really, really wanted this to be fixed. To be over. She wanted Kitty back where she belonged; wanted to hold her and kiss her. Until then, she had to have faith in Moira and the others. She had to believe that they could fix this.
Because the alternative was unbearable.