Morrigan is many things (whathavewehere) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-09-30 16:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, maia amell (the warden), morrigan |
Who: Maia and Morrigan
What: Mages making up
When: Today
Where: Their home
Warnings: Pretty low
It had only been a day since they’d had their argument. But Morrigan had taken enough time to ensure that she was calmed down and wouldn’t throw any more magic around. She didn’t think the house could take much more magic tantrums. Finally feeling calm enough, and also having thought over the argument time and time again, she went to go find Maia.
“Maia? Are you calm enough to have that talk without us getting into a magic fight?” She just wanted to test the waters. Just because she felt calm enough to have the conversation didn’t mean that Maia was.
Maia had generally felt horrible. Not just because of starting the fight, but some of the things she’d said. They’d come from places of insecurity, and while she’d told Morrigan they’d need to talk it out when they’d calmed, she was terrified. Maia really couldn’t take it if she lost Morrigan. Not after everything, not after something so stupid.
“I’m calm. Ish.” Maia smiled ruefully.
Morrigan would be lying if she said she wasn’t hurt by things Maia had said. She knew she’d dealt some blows herself, neither of them were innocent in the argument. She had been worrying over whether or not Maia would break up with her. She wouldn’t blame Maia if that’s what she wanted to do, Morrigan was at fault for everything in the dreams.
“Perhaps I should rephrase. Are you in danger of setting things on fire?” Morrigan didn’t want to deal with burned curtains again, or having a fireball flung at her.
“I’m not pissy, if that’s what you mean.” Maia scooted over and patted the couch next to her. “Still a little wiped from… everything.” Even after she’d let the spell drop, she’d been wiped.
“I know what you mean,” Morrigan responded as she moved to sit down next to Maia. “It was quite draining in multiple ways.” She brushed some hair from her eyes and looked over at Maia. “I am sorry for all of those hurtful things I said to you.”
“I’m sorry too. I wasn’t even insecure or anything.” Maia fidgeted with her hands in her lap. “But that day, it went all tits up. Every insecurity an’ every bad thought I’d ever had, even for a second. Most of those from my dreams.”
“I had been angry and irritable for seemingly no reason. The fight didn’t even do much except to work me up even more.” Morrigan took a slow breath. “I know I can be a cold bitch, but getting cold is how I deal with things sometimes when tempers are flaring.”
“And I just… heat up.” Maia took her fiance’s hand. “In the dreams, even after I found you again, I was always afraid you’d leave again. I’ve never really had that fear here.” And Morrigan had left but so had Maia. It was like they were destined to cross paths for only a little time at a time.
“But I guess there was some of that anyway.”
Morrigan looked down at their hands for a moment before she looked back to Maia. “In this life, I am not going anywhere unless you do not want me any longer. I am sorry that I hurt you so much in the dreams. That was precisely what I’d tried to avoid doing. I had hoped that stopping things when I did would have been better than ending it later. Clearly I was wrong.”
“I wanted someone I didn’t think I could have. Doesn’t always lead to the best decisions.” Maia kept her gaze focused on Morrigan’s hands and her own. “But I don’t think you would be wearing that bloody engagement ring if you had any intention of being flighty.”
“We both wanted what we could not have in that life.” Morrigan had her son, at least, but Flemeth had found them and tried to take Kieran from her. That was something that she could not allow by any means. “I am glad you believe so, for tis true. I am proud to wear this ring, and I very much look forward to being your wife.”
Letting out one of those kind of breaths, Maia felt relief wash over her. “I want that, I want that very much. It does us no favours keeping things to ourselves though. All it takes is… something like what happened, and it all comes out.”
“Indeed it does. And considering how things in this county tend to go, keeping things to ourselves never really works in the long run. They always eventually come out in some way.” Morrigan took a breath, then smiled a little. “Though we should be glad I did not shapeshift into a dragon. Our house would no longer be standing if I had done that.”
“I considered going hound.” Maia smiled ruefully. She brought Morrigan’s hand to her lips and kissed the knuckles. “I love you. I guess sometimes there’s that old part of me that relishes in the angst and heartache. Makes it easier to hold onto it.”
“I love you, too.” Morrigan said with a soft little smile. “I can understand that. It can be easy to fall into the habits of our dream selves, and not always for the better. Sometimes it can be difficult to remember that this life is not the same as the one we dream of.” And while Morrigan hadn’t had any new dreams for quite a while, she knew they would start again one day. Her story was not yet done, though she had intense fears over what her future in Thedas would hold.
Maia dared to lean in and kiss Morrigan’s cheek. “You’re not cold and unfeeling, an icy bitch. No matter what anyone else might say. I’ve never thought that. It might be why it hurt so much when you shut your emotions down. Because it’s not really you.”
She took the kiss to her cheek and looked at Maia. “But it is me when I am either deeply hurt or have too many strong emotions at once. Or both. Tis rare for either to happen, of course. And we both know I can be an icy bitch when I want to be.”
“I’d rather you have too many emotions. Just try not to let that happen at the wedding.” Maia could see it happening. Morrigan overwhelmed. “You’ll get overwhelmed and turn into a big old dragon and then eat half the guests!”
“I do not think there will be any danger of that happening. If I am to turn into a dragon at our wedding, it will only be because my mother decided to show up.” And that was not something she wanted to see happen.
“...and you’ll eat her, right?”
“Of course I would eat her. I would not let her get away.” Though if Morrigan got indigestion or heartburn from that, Maia would be the one to have to deal with it.
After a moment, Maia crawled into Morrigan’s lap. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, gazing down at her. “One thing… I did mean it. About wanting to be a mum with you.”
Morrigan looked up at Maia, slipping her arms around her waist. “I would like that, though I have some reservations. Mostly about raising a child in Orange County where anything and everything can happen at a moment’s notice.”
“I think the risk is worth it? But we may want to invest in some better protection spells.” Maia’s rested her forehead against Morrigan’s. “Sometimes I wish I could knock you up, myself.”
Morrigan closed her eyes as Maia rested her forehead against hers. She gently rubbed Maia’s back. “As do I. We would have quite some fun making a baby, would we not?” A little smirk crossed her face. They had fun as it was, but it would still be fun for them to try and make a baby themselves.
“....want to practice anyway?” Maia’s eyes lit up, and even if they couldn’t have one of their own, they could play pretend. Or invite Logan back. Or maybe that Kirk bloke on the network. He was cute.
“I am not opposed to practicing,” Morrigan responded with a smile. She pulled Maia a bit closer to her, having missed the feel of her in her arms.
“I love you,” Maia whispered. “Sit back and let me prove it.”
“I love you, too,” Morrigan responded. And she sat back and let Maia prove it to her.