t(-.-t) (the_warden) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-09-29 19:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, maia amell (the warden), morrigan |
Who: Maia and Morrigan
What: Mages arguing
When: 9/29
Where: their home
Status: complete
Maia was still a little sore. Maybe a lot sore. That morning with Logan had been quite entertaining. She still wasn’t sure what had come over them, but it had been a lot more fun than fighting more mercenaries. After various configurations and triad sandwich fillings, he’d disappeared, probably to rut with someone else. Maia wished whatever man or woman he found godspeed and the Maker’s blessing.
Even the thought of that wonderful morning wasn’t enough to soothe her irritation today. She was getting tired of the fighting, and it had lost its appeal. Even Barkspawn was irritable. And finally she snapped at Morrigan. “The spider, why is it always the bloody spider?”
Really, Morrigan still didn’t know what, exactly, had come over her that morning with Logan and Maia. Morrigan wasn’t the type to share or even have threesomes, and yet there she was, having quite the lustful drive. Like Maia, she was still sore, but she tended to soothe her aches by taking hot baths. She’d just taken one, as it happened, and she’d needed it. She’d been feeling rather irritable today. Even the cats had been irritable and had shoved off somewhere. Every now and then she’d hear hissing and yeowling as the cats fought with each other.
Morrigan thought about fixing herself some tea, at least until she heard that comment from Maia. Frowning, she looked over at her. “What, precisely, do you mean by ‘the spider?’” She wasn’t playing dumb, Morrigan’s mind had simply been elsewhere when the question had been asked. Or, rather, snapped.
“When you shift in combat. Always the spider first. Gives me the heebies sometime.” Maia ran her fingers through her hair. It never bothered her most days, but she felt like picking a fight. “It has all those legs, and not even in a fun way.”
“Tis not my fault that you are arachnophobic. Besides, tis a useful form.” Morrigan replied, eyeing her fiancée. Morrigan’s hair was loose and she was clad in a silk robe. Suddenly, whatever relaxation she’d managed to get while in the bathtub was gone.
“I’m not arachnophobic,” Maia pouted. “I liked the gryphon, you should do that one more often.”
She started to pace around. Whatever was bothering her wasn’t really the spider, but it was hard for her to put her finger on it. She reached for her staff. Maybe she should go fight more mercenaries.
“Could have fooled me,” Morrigan muttered about the arachnophobia. “You simply like the gryphon so you can ride on my back.” Which probably was partly true. But it also gave Maia the ability to cast spells from above her enemies.
“You do make useful transportation,” Maia said. “At least that way, you can’t take off after battle without me.”
Oh. There it was.
There it was indeed. Morrigan’s eyes narrowed as she looked pointedly at Maia. Perhaps it was deserved, but Morrigan had told Maia before the battle that she would leave once the Archdemon was dead. “After all we have been through, you still believe I would run off and leave you behind?”
Her track record in their dreams wasn’t the best, but here? Here Morrigan had never run away. Had she misjudged how much faith Maia had placed in her?
“What’s stopping you?” She’d hoped that Morrigan would have stayed. That they could have built something. After the mess at Amaranthine she’d spent months hunting her, to the exclusion of all else. It had been an obsession. “Just fly away with your little flappy wings.”
Morrigan stared at Maia. “Is that a serious question?” Wasn’t it obvious why she was still here? She felt her blood pressure start to rise. “You don’t trust me, do you?” Or had she just left that much damage in her wake in the dreams that it had crossed over?
“I trust you!” Even in whatever was making her angry, Maia still told the truth. She flailed her hands. “I just don’t trust… everything else! Myself. The fucking county, our dreams. I don’t know if … “
She exhaled, sighing heavily. “You don’t know what it felt like. Thinking I couldn’t have you, and then I could have you and you were gone. And I think, what if that happens here?”
“I don’t know what it felt like? Do you presume me to be so unfeeling that I was unaffected by the same thing? Do you believe that I did not want you? Because that is the furthest from the truth.” There was some venom and bite in Morrigan’s tone, fuelled by her feelings of being angry.
“You used me for your own ends,” Maia pointed out. “Or she used her. Bugger, whatever.”
She could feel energy crackling through her, as her anger magnified, mostly at herself. “I hated the pining. Hated myself for the pining. I would have let you do damn near anything just to keep you near. I would have done damn near anything to keep you near. I was so bloody pathetic.”
“I did tell you it was a terrible idea to go through with anything.” Morrigan’s anger may have been rising, but she was getting colder. It was a defense mechanism, and sometimes keeping herself cold and distant was the only way to protect herself. Not that it really protected her because it didn’t, but that was why she never liked getting close to anyone.
“Perhaps t’was the pining that turned me off.”
Maia’s head snapped back, and she looked hurt. She probably deserved it, but it still hurt. Something was probably going to catch fire, and soon. “I kept it to myself! I thought you’d mock me for it, the same way you took digs at everyone else!”
“You kept it to yourself and ran right into Leliana’s arms. Perhaps you should have stayed with her. She was more than willing to give you anything you wanted.” Morrigan’s fist clenched, a little steam seeming to emanate from it as she felt the cold. Oh she’d been jealous of Leliana, but Morrigan was good at hiding it. Though all the snide remarks stemmed from her jealousy. Not that she had any right to be when she’d pushed Maia away to begin with, but Morrigan wasn’t one to admit that she had a heart and feelings.
“She couldn’t give me you.” This time the curtain caught fire, but Maia ignored it. “You push everyone away, even those that care about you. Push push push, nag and quip and jab figurative daggers in a woman’s heart the day she actually tries to tell you how she feels.”
Morrigan’s eyes flicked to the curtain and she flung an ice spell at it, successfully quenching it before it got out of control. “Because that is what I do best. Yet you still did not take the hint to stay away no matter how much I pushed you away. Are you that much of a glutton for punishment?”
It was an argument Maia knew she was losing. She’d been destined to lose it from the very moment she started it, but she was compelled to keep going, like a bulldog that just wouldn’t let go. Unsure if she was even making sense, Maia spread her arms, exposing her chest. “Punish me, then! You’re so good and piercing my heart.”
Technically it was an argument neither of them would win. They both had ammunition to truly hurt the other. Maia had hit on Morrigan’s sore spots quite nicely. “If you wanted me so badly, why not simply use that blood magic on me that you are fond of using?”
And Maia reached out with her hand, like she was going to do just that. Something stopped her, and instead she lashed out, igniting a plant next to Morrigan’s head. “When the world was burning, I had no choice. You of all people should understand that. You of all people should know that a soul is a fair trade to save the world.”
Morrigan didn’t even flinch when Maia reached out with her hand. When the plant ignited, Morrigan’s hand shot out and encased it in ice. The plant would be a loss, but she could get another. “Precisely. You sacrificed your soul, and I sacrificed mine. That makes us even, don’t you think?”
Maia’s throat bobbed, and she tensed her jaw. “Maker, I hate it when you’re cold like this. Feel something!” She stalked closer. “It isn’t a crime to feel! To not be a frigid bitch!”
“I am feeling something.” She shot back as she stood her ground when Maia stalked closer. Maia was taller, but Morrigan wasn’t intimidated by it.
“And what are you feeling?” Maia said, her voice dropping to an angry whisper. If something didn’t interrupt them soon, Maia could feel herself no longer caring about collateral damage.
“Anger. Pain. A plethora of other things. But it’s not as if they matter because I’m such a villain to you thus I shouldn’t feel anything.” Morrigan didn’t think she had a right to be angry and hurt because she’d brought it all on herself in the first place.
What’s wrong with them? Maia wondered that, as she lifted her hand, almost as though she were going to slap Morrigan. Then she dropped it, and looked utterly defeated. “I hated that I loved you. I wanted it different here, without that constant fear in the center of my gut that i’d never see you again.”
Morrigan clenched her jaw. “Are you saying it’s not different here?” Did the ring on her finger not mean anything? She suddenly wondered if the past year and a half was coming crashing down because of their dreams. And why now? Why was it coming now and not back when they’d still been dreaming?
Maia had dared to hope. Dared to think that this place could be different, but it was crashing down around her ears.
Her eyes fell to the ring on Morrigan’s finger, but growling distracted her, bringing her attention to Barkspawn. Barkspawn usually got along with the cats, but he’d started tearing after one of them like she was a Hurlock. The second jumped on his back, hissing and spitting like something rabid, her claws digging deep. They were acting like, well, Maia and Morrigan.
A warding spell suddenly sounded like a good idea.
Morrigan saw where Maia’s gaze went, and she was trying to prepare herself for what would happen next. At least until the growling happened and Morrigan looked over at the scene. She clenched her fist, and this time electricity crackled around it.
“Stop it!” Morrigan yelled at the same time a lightning bolt zapped the floor beside the animals. The cats went running in opposite directions. The floor had a little scorch mark in it now, but that was the least of Morrigan’s concerns right now.
“Don’t hurt the hound!” Maia lifted her hands, fire swirling around them before she cast a fireball right at Morrigan. It wasn’t that strong a fireball, the kind easily countered by wards. But Maia’s wards were very weak compared to Morrigan’s and the rational part of her that still remained, however small, was counting on that.
When the fireball came flying at her, Morrigan didn’t have much time to react. She didn’t have any spells to counter it, and cast Rock Armor before bracing herself. When the fireball hit her, it hurt, but thanks to her Rock Armor, it didn’t do nearly as much damage as it otherwise would have. Luckily, she didn’t start on fire, but her clothes were definitely a bit of a loss and she’d need a little healing to take care of the singes to her skin.
“I wasn’t going to hurt him! That’s why I bloody aimed at the floor!! And why did you bloody throw a fireball at me?!”
There was a spell, but Maia couldn’t remember it at the moment. She just knew it was supposed to negate harmful spell effects. “Since when does Barkspawn try to kill the cats? Doesn’t this always happen? It’s like we’re not allowed to be happy.”
The dispel magic spell would do the trick, but Morrigan didn’t know that spell. She was rather lacking on Spirit spells and wards in general. She was better with hexes. Morrigan cast a healing spell on herself, taking care of the injuries from the fireball. “Is anyone in this bloody county allowed to be happy? It seems that this place is trying to kill us all.”
Maia suddenly vaulted over the couch, going for her staff. While she’d been trying to learn less destructive spells, it never came to her easily. But a basic negation spell was practically Mage Tower 101. Whether or not it was powerful enough without boosting it was another matter entirely, and for all Morrigan knew Maia was grabbing her staff for a more powerful attack.
And Maia didn’t even know for sure which she wanted to do as her hand clasped around the wood. She was still so angry, and she wanted to take it out on Morrigan. Years of feelings in the dreams that had lain dormant. “I wish your son could have been mine.”
Maybe she’d never actually been as okay with making Alistair sleep with Morrigan as she liked to pretend.
When Maia went for her staff, Morrigan inwardly cursed leaving hers in the bedroom. She’d have to go for shapeshifting if Maia decided to unleash another attack at her. She held the image of what animal form she’d take in her mind so she could shift as quickly as possible.
“So do I, but we cannot change it.” Morrigan had hated having to sleep with Alistair, but it was the only way to ensure that Maia didn’t die when the Archdemon was killed.
“You-” Maia froze. “Really? I would have liked to help you raise him, regardless.”
She’d never expected that, even when she was in the right frame of mind. It had just never occurred to her that that had been a desire of Morrigan. It wasn’t like it was possible, even with their magic. It just would have been nice.
But her surprise cleared her anger just long enough for her to spin her staff around and strike the ground. A wave of energy washed through the house.
“We both know that would have been impossible. You had your duty with the Wardens, and I had to leave Ferelden.” Maia may have killed Flemeth, but Morrigan hadn’t trusted her mother to have stayed that way.
When the energy washed through the house, Morrigan pinched the bridge of her nose, then shook her head a bit. She was suddenly far less angry and more confused. “What the fuck is happening?”
The spell pulsed again, weaker this time. Maia sighed and bit down on her thumb. A little extra power to keep it going. “I don’t know. And we’re going to need to talk later, once we’ve figured it out. The animals clued me on something was wrong.”
“Yes, we will.” Morrigan suddenly had a sinking feeling. The phrase ‘need to talk’ never preceded talks that led anywhere good. Perhaps she really was a fool to think things could actually work in this world, too. “Until then, perhaps tis best we remain apart lest we destroy our home and each other.”
Maia had merely meant they’d said some hurtful things. And she didn’t want to let them fester. She nodded at her fiance, squeezing her staff tighter. “I love you. Despite today’s…” She shook her head. “We’ll talk when the current shite is over.”
“I love you, too.” Even if Maia questioned that currently. Which Morrigan only had herself to blame for that if she did. She turned and headed out to her greenhouse. Her anger may rise again, but at least she could refrain from destroying her plants, and there wouldn’t be anyone around to help make her anger rise higher.