InsaneJournal

Who: Team Victor Hugo (Grantaire and Esmeralda)
What: Cooler heads saving Grantaire from himself, what else is new?
When: [backdated] 9/24
Where: The Court of Miracles
Warnings: Procreation Temple-based shenanigans
Status: Partner Thread | Complete

Grantaire did not often exaggerate. Alright, that was a lie, he exaggerated all the time - “I have not had a drink in seven years!”, “I have such hunger that I will surely die if I do not eat an entire pizza”, “My father never loved me because I cannot do math so no, I do not know how much my tab is” - but in this case, he was not exaggerating when he said that the official most beautiful woman in the entirety of this whole godforsaken planet had just wandered into the bar. His jaw dropped, in fact - red haired, with the face of a porcelain doll, big eyes done up with the kind of complex makeup that Grantaire admired both as an artist and as someone who was very good at destroying beautiful things. He was probably drooling all over the bartop and he didn’t much care.

”Esmeralda!” he whispered, perhaps a bit too loud (he had been drinking, as was usual for him, and thus lacked the subtlety of the sober). ”Esmeralda I’m going to fuck her. Come be my wingman.”

Having finished with the first dance of the evening, Esmeralda had changed and gone behind the bar to act as bartender. She had noticed strange things happening the past few days, things that always seemed to end by 9 pm. She wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but that was Orange County for you.

She was also used to Grantaire waxing poetic about whatever came to mind. So she wasn’t completely shocked when he spoke up, though the conspiratorial whispering had her quirk a brow towards the woman who had walked in and then back to her friend. Especially because instead of waxing poetic he was just… blunt.

“Are you now?”

Grantaire, without taking his eyes off the woman, nodded. ”I am. I’m going to fuck her. I’ll woo her and then we’ll make babies. You’ll babysit for us, won’t you? Come on.” He got off the barstool, wobbling a bit, and made his way towards the woman.

“Mademoiselle,” he said, not quite slurring but not quite not-slurring either. “Ma’mselle, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Without a doubt! You are enchanting. Beautiful. And also enchanting! I am agog, ma’mselle, please. You must go home with me. Do not make me get on my knees for you, ma cherie, I will!” And indeed he dropped to his knees, and gasped. “Your legs, ma cherie, they are perfection! So smooth. They look as if they are very soft. I would like to touch them. May I kiss them? I will!” And he began to crawl forward.

Okay this was a lot, even for Grantaire. Shooting a look to Jehan to take her spot behind the bar, Esmeralda ducked under in order to get to Grantaire before he made a complete fool of himself. Because there was no way that this was going to end well. Of course when she heard what he was saying? All Esmeralda could do was stare at her friend in shock because that was…. There were no words for it and it seemed the poor woman he was trying to woo also seemed a mix of horrified and shocked.

And he was on his knees.

Snapping out of it, Esmeralda quickly got into action, and did her best to pull Grantaire away from the poor thing.

“I am quite sorry about this, I will handle it. Your drink will be free.”

And turning her attention to Grantaire who she now had a hold on.

“Come on, Romeo.”

Grantaire whined, legitimately whined, as Esmeralda grabbed him and attempted to drag him away. The more time he spent looking at the lovely creature before him, the more he wanted her. He was nearly salivating at the thought of his mouth on her, his hands on her naked skin, the sight of her body beneath her clothes…

Later, he would be very grateful that Esmeralda was getting him hidden away, as the thoughts were certainly having an effect on him. He clutched Esmeralda’s hands. ”Why did you take me away?” he all but howled, thoroughly a cat in heat. ”She was beginning to fall for me, I could tell! I was going to have her!”

Did he actually…. Okay, Esmeralda wasn’t going to question it, it was just easier not to. Her main focus right now was getting Grantaire away from the public so that he didn’t get a lawsuit thrown at him or anything. For now it was getting him downstairs where he could cool down.

“Believe me, she was not beginning to fall for you.” Shooting a look at Grantaire, Esmeralda at least managed to get him downstairs. If she had to lock him in a room, she would.

”She was, Esmeralda, she was!” Grantaire knew better than to try and escape her or overpower her, but that didn’t mean that he had to be happy about her tearing him away from the love of his life. Or at least the fuck of his life. He was allowed to pout. ”Five more minutes and I’ll prove it to you. We can make a bet, if you like. I’ll work at the Court for a month if she won’t fuck me.”

“That would be an unfair bet. For you.” And finally downstairs. Clopin had shot a confused look at the two but given the scene that she’d needed to break up, he wasn’t going to say anything. So long as business wasn’t hurt by it and the redhead did seem to relax now that Grantaire wasn’t near her, he would let is slide. For now.

As for Esmeralda.

“You need to stay down here until whatever is going on is done.”

First would be just giving the option. Force would only come into play if he kept at his current antics.

”I’m not sure I understand what you’re talking about. I would be what was done if you hadn’t pulled me away, so to speak.” Grantaire’s eyes lit up. ”Oh! Maybe this is like, some kind of Star Trek thing? If I do the deed I’ll get it out of my system. Just let me back upstairs and I’ll take care of this.”

“No.” Fine, she would go to simple answers. No need for him to try and talk himself out of what was going to happen. She was going to avoid a lawsuit for the Court because of sexual harassment, thank you very much. She also didn’t understand the Star Trek reference but she honestly didn’t care right then. What she did care about was saving Grantaire from himself.

R didn’t much care to be saved. Whatever was going on with him was getting worse by the minute; while he usually, hedonistic tendencies aside, was a fairly rational person, right now all he cared about was getting his dick wet. Not to be crass about it, but, well, it was a bit of a crass situation. He whimpered and whined and pouted at her. ”Five minutes? That’s all I’ll need.”

He was like a child. There was no other explanation for it. Well, no. It was probably one of the temples doing this. Either way, Esmeralda was exasperated.

“I will tie you up if I have to.” She would, too. Because this was out of control and so tying him up really might be the only option. Tie him up, leave him in the spare room and check on him later. First she would give him the option of behaving though, even as she gave the threat.

“Kinky,” Grantaire said, without thought. ”You’re welcome to if you want. I won’t resist.” (Apparently behaving was off the table.) It truly showed how far gone he was that he was hitting on Esmeralda without considering the consequences, both for their friendship and his continued, pleasant existence. Later, he would be thankful that Clopin wasn’t around to overhear him. For now, he just raised a challenging brow and gave Esmeralda his smarmiest, most ‘come-hither smile’, leaning against the wall with his hips jutted out, to make sure his intentions were entirely clear.

Grantaire was really lucky that Esmeralda was brushing this all off as typical Orange County weirdness, so that she wouldn’t let it ruin the friendship. But even with that, part of her was actually shocked at what he had said. Still, she took it for what it was, proof with how far gone he was.

“Djali” And just like that, the goat in question came forward and headbutted Grantaire in the groin given he was jutting his hips out as Esmeralda grabbed one of her scarves to use to tie Grantaire’s arms behind his back.

Grantaire doubled over with a shout of pain, hardly registering as he was tied up. ”I didn’t think that this is what you meant,” he wheezed, dropping to his knees and letting his head rest on the floor, trying to get his breath back. That was going to hurt tomorrow. ”But I think I get the message, you’re not interested and you don’t seem interested in letting me go, either. Fuck you.” There wasn’t much heat behind it, though she could certainly hear the displeasure in his voice.

Once she was finished tying his hands behind his back, Esmerald hoisted Grantaire up and into the spare bedroom, paying absolutely no mind to what he was saying.

“You will thank me when this passes.” Not right now, but when it passed. She’d also make sure to check up on him later but she still had to go back to work. “Djali? Keep an eye on him for me.” And said goat nodded. Looking to Grantaire, she sighed, “I’ll check on you later.” And with that, it was back upstairs with her.