Agent Washington (completelysane) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-09-05 20:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, agent carolina, agent washington |
Who: Carolina, Wash and featuring NPC! Nora Jenkins, Wash's mother
What: Carolina and Nora fight. Loudly.
When: Backdated to July 24th
Where: The sibling's apartment
Rating/Warnings Lots of curses, references to shady (if not illegal) dealings, violence and past abuse
Status: Complete!
Wash had gotten his mother a very nice room -- a suite, actually -- at a nice hotel. It wasn’t five star or full of luxury comforts, but it was very comfortable, with everything Nora could ask for. He booked it for her for a week, and then re-booked for another week when Nora tearily explained that she wasn’t ready to return to Washington and told her son that she even if she went back that she had nowhere to go. She claimed that she was at least talking with Ralph and that they were working things out, but she just wasn’t ready to go back. She wasn’t ready to share a house with the man and considering the house was in his name, she had nowhere else to go. She’d be homeless. Living out of her car. Wash couldn’t send her back if she had nowhere to stay. The fact that she had no friends to help her, Wash could totally believe.
So, Wash continued to pay for her hotel room. It wasn’t as though he couldn’t afford it, but it was putting a sizable dent in his bank account. As were the three-meals a day that Nora always seemed to talk him into buying for her, always at a different restaurante. And the shopping for things that Nora had conveniently left behind when she left for her “last-minute” decision trip. For a woman who was claiming to be looking to get back on her feet, Nora was treating her stay like a vacation. A vacation funded by her son.
Despite the hotel suite Wash was paying for, Nora spent a lot of time at her son’s apartment, even during the day when Wash was at work, such as this afternoon. She had let herself in using Wash’s key (leaving Wash to use the key given to York when the other marine had been watching the place last September). She let herself in and walked around as if she belonged there.
Carolina had been doing her best to avoid Wash’s mother ever since the woman had magically appeared in Orange County. Not because she disliked the woman (although that was certainly true), but because she would rather not face assault charges when Nora inevitably stepped over the line and managed to snap the tenuous thread keeping her temper in check. Besides which, it wouldn’t be fair to put Wash in the middle like that; he had enough to deal with already. At least enough to send him running back into the bottle. It may not have been Nora’s fault that her son had fallen off the wagon, but her arrival and subsequent fights had certainly had not helped the situation at all.
In order to minimize the possibility of Carolina getting slapped with an assault charge, she had been spending most of her time off-base and off-Agency at Kanan’s place. While Kanan had not seemed to mind the Church Invasion, the redhead herself was getting tired of the additional commute of constantly going back and forth to pick up clean clothes and check up on Sophie. The clothes she could live without, but dammit, she missed her dog. Wash too, although the man didn’t seem to mind her being away right now.
Today there was an empty duffle ready to be filled with clean clothes with a bag full of fresh rawhide bones inside it. Bones for clothes. She supposed it was as good of an exchange as she was going to get. Carolina sighed as she let herself in. Given the hour, Wash should still be at work, but the jingling of her keys down the hall had caught the attention of the german shepherd resident. Long before she had actually opened the door, Carolina had heard the clicking of nails against linoleum that signaled the dog’s arrival.
Green eyes closed as she leaned back against the wood. There was a soft thunk as her head fell back against the door. This was her home. Her place of solace. Where she could unwind and forget the rest of the world existed. God knew that there were enough weapons to defend the place from whatever the county decided to throw at them. Right now, she just hoped she had it all to herself.
Or almost to herself. Previously said dog was currently attempting to dance happily around her owner’s legs. At least someone is happy to see me. Carolina opened her eyes and looked down at Sophie with a small smile. “Hey, girl.” Kneeling down, she began to pet and scratch Sophie’s ears. Her face seemed to soften as the dog proceeded to lick her face and hands. “Yeah. I missed you too.”
Carolina’s shoulders had barely started to relax when she heard the tell-tale sounds of somebody else in the apartment. Immediately, her hand went to her sidearm, all trace of softness gone from her face. She made her way out of the entryway, back against the wall. The Beretta out and at the ready, but the safety remained on; Sophie had met her at the door, after all. “Wash?” She called out hopefully. Tense muscles started at the sight of Wash’s mother, now obviously the source of the sounds. Carolina quickly pointed the weapon at the floor, finger away from the trigger. “Jesus, Nora. What the hell are you doing here?”
Nora didn’t care for dogs. She didn’t dislike them, but she didn’t gush over them the way some people did. She wasn’t afraid of them either. She’d met Sophie the German Shepherd and the two seemed agreeable to keep their distance from one another. As Nora was perusing the pantry she had heard someone come in. Assuming it was her son, she was about to call out when she heard a female voice speak first. A frown creased her features. She had no desire to interact with Leonard Church’s crazy daughter. She decided to say nothing and with any luck the woman would get her dog and leave again.
Unfortunately, luck did not seem to be on Nora’s side. The pantry door that had been leaning against her arm moved when she did and hit it’s jamb with a soft noise that made Nora jump and whirl around to glare at it. She hoped Carolina hadn’t heard, but when the other woman called out, she knew otherwise.
Nora said nothing and hoped again that the silence would convince the other woman to leave. Again, fortune wasn’t in her favor. The next thing she knew, Carolina was standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a gun drawn.
“What on Earth are you doing with that?!” Nora demanded in disbelief and pointing at the weapon. “Were you going to shoot me?”
Surprise fading, Carolina found that her general annoyance at the woman was coming back quickly. She could feel a vein in her temple throbbing in time with her scowl. “I’m a Marine, Nora. We carry weapons.” Pity she wasn’t in her camos to drive the point home. Then again, the stubborn cow would probably have found a reason to ignored that too. For what felt like the hundredth time in the last few weeks, she reminded herself that Nora was Wash’s mother and he would not appreciate having to deal with a mother riddled with bullet holes. Reluctantly, she holstered her beretta.
“Especially when we’re the only ones who’re supposed to be in our home.” The fact that Nora had avoided answering her question had also not gone unnoticed. Carolina crossed her arms and faced Nora directly. Hopefully the move would seem more defensive and less like the assault-charge-prevention tactic that it actually was. “Which is more than I can say for you. Wa- David is at work right now. So why are you here?”
Nora picked up on what Carolina had almost called her son and her eyes narrowed. How she hated that name. It wasn’t the name she had given him and yet that seemed to be what he exclusively went by. But she took much satisfaction in the fact that Carolina didn’t want her there and yet she was an invited guest. She produced a keyring from her pocket and held it up for Carolina to see. The keyring itself had a small flat character made out of metal. Nora didn’t know who the character was, and she didn’t care. What mattered to her was the key attached to the ring as well. “David gave me his key,” she informed Carolina, being sure to put enough emphasis on her son’s given name. There was anger in her voice, but also a subtle hint of smugness.
She lowered the key ring and clenched it in her hand. When she spoke, the smugness was gone and only anger remained. “How dare you come in here and brandish a gun in my face! Are you out of your mind? You could have shot me! I have half a mind to call the police!” Then she closed her eyes and took a breath, making a show of calming herself down. She opened her eyes slowly and leveled them at Carolina. They were as grey as Wash’s own, but lacked the turbulent storm that was usually behind Wash’s. Nora’s eyes held nothing but malicious disgust. “But I’m sure that wouldn’t look good on your service record, would it? An accusation of assault on an innocent woman. They’d probably court martial you or something. So, I suppose out of respect for David, if you leave now, I won’t call the police.”
Buried under crossed arms, Carolina’s hands balled into fists. Was this woman serious? Acting like she was doing her a goddamn favor. It was becoming more and more obvious how she had bullied Wash to do her bidding all these years. Ralph or no Ralph, it didn’t look like the woman was going to change anytime soon. Out of respect for her brother, Carolina had avoided anything that might have set either her or Nora off, but enough was enough. Nora needed to know that she would not be pushed or guilted into letting the older woman have her way.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Nora.” Carolina’s eyes were hard and her face showed absolutely no sympathy for the show the woman had just put on. “The only reason I’m not calling the police to report you for trespassing is because I don’t want my brother to have to pay to bail you out of jail. I don’t care whether or not he actually gave you those keys - for all I know, you stole them from him and decided to invite yourself to our apartment. And until I see your name on the lease and you start paying us rent, you are only allowed here at our discretion, not yours.”
Nora stared back at her. For a moment her condescending attitude completely evaporated. Clearly she wasn’t used to being spoken to in such a manner. It was a brief moment however, and then it all came back, with gusto. “How dare you!” She seethed. She also seemed to have forgotten that between the two of them, Carolina was the one with the gun. Either that, or she knew Carolina wouldn’t use it, if for nothing else than to spare having to explain the why to David. She stalked across the kitchen towards the younger woman. “How dare you accuse me of stealing from my own son!” She riled, sticking a finger in Carolina’s face. “I’d like to get one thing straight as well, Carolina,” she spit the name out as though it were acid in her mouth. “David is my son and he is the only one who’s permission matters here. Not yours. Think that your opinion matters all you want, but when it comes down to it, you are only his half sister and you’re barely even that”
She leaned back, arms folded across her chest. Her expression took on a smug quality that portrayed the knowledge that if it ever came to the choice, she was certain David would choose her over Carolina. Of course he would. That was how she had raised him. She was the most important thing in his world. That he had come at her beck and call, even after all these years, was all the proof she needed.
“I’ve seen how you treat him,” Nora went on, her smile turning shark-like. “There’s nothing ‘sisterly’ about the way you talk with him. He’s more of a subordinate you can order around. You rely on his loyalty. You need it to justify yourself and it terrifies you that there is someone in this world that is more important to him than you.”
Carolina’s eyes flashed in rage. “Excuse me?” If Nora dared to touch her, even once, she felt like the self-control she was tenuously holding onto would snap like a twig. She tried forcing herself to calm down, but the red refused to retreat from the edge of her vision. “You’ve been stealing from David for his entire life! All the money that David’s father sent for him. That’s right. I’ve seen all the checks that Father sent you over the years for David’s education. You stole his education from him. That money that was supposed to go to him, not to you.”
Careful not to come any closer to the woman lest she give the woman cause for a ‘self-defence’ argument, Carolina began to slowly circle Nora. Her eyes looked at the woman with the same disgust. It was a goddamn miracle that Wash had turned out the way he did with this bitch for a mother and she was not about to let Nora take that away from him. “Wash was my subordinate in the Corps and David is my brother both there and in civilian life. Someone like you could never understand what that means to us. What family means. He’s not my half-brother. I’m not his half-sister. Unlike you, We don’t do things by halves. He is my family, and whatever issues we have between us are none of your goddamn business.”
Carolina paused just behind the woman, arms still firmly crossed as she leaned in to hiss, “You may be his mother, but you’re not his family, Nora. Family doesn’t stand idly by when someone is hurting you. Family doesn’t make you feel ashamed or afraid. Family are the ones that love you. Protect you. David’s father did more to protect him from Ralph by getting you the hell out of the house twice a year than you did his entire life.” In the back of her head, there was a little voice that said she was not supposed to tell anyone that particular fact, especially since Wash had told that to her in confidence back in Austin, but there was no stopping her now.
“Family are the people who stand behind you, to help you stand when you can’t get to your feet. The ones who see your flaws and your broken pieces and accept you regardless. Family is love, Nora, and from where I stand, the only person you really love is yourself.”
Nora wasn’t stupid. She knew that if blows were to be exchanged, she didn’t stand a chance against someone with military training. Sure, she could use the excuse of self-defense, but Nora would rather not get injured at all. She held her ground as Carolina circled around her like an anxious panther. The accusation of taking the money Leonard Church had sent her for her own uses came as a shock and again for a moment she was rendered speechless. How could Carolina possibly have known that?! Had her father told her? That would have meant that he had somehow discovered it. The idea sent a wave of panic through Nora. But that was impossible. The documents she sent were all real, except for the name attached to them. Nora had gone through great pains and effort and had made sure the right people owed her favors in order to get her hands on them. There was no way Church could look at them and know them to be false. And if he somehow had, he would have ceased to have sent her any money at all. He probably would have even taken her to court over the matter, or if that was too much effort, at least would have demanded the money back. With interest, knowing that bastard. But he’d sent the money like clockwork twice a year for 12 years without so much as a question. Once David had graduated, Nora hadn’t heard anything further from Church. No. It didn’t seem likely to her that he had discovered the truth. Carolina, the nosy little bitch, must have found out another way.
With that realization, Nora’s panic evaporated. What was she going to do about it? Tattle to her father? Nora found that extremely unlikely. She held her ground as Carolina circled around her like an animal. A beast. Nora let slip a smirk Carolina standing behind her would not see. A beast. She couldn’t think of a more appropriate description for the woman. Let her have her little “victory”, as inconsequential as it was.
Nora swallowed the smirk when she turned to look over her shoulder. “Family?” She repeated. Then she laughed a good throaty laugh. “You’re going to lecture me on family. Oh, yes. Let’s talk about family, Carolina.” She turned around. “Need I remind you that I was the one who raised David. His ‘father’ -- your father -- never called, never wrote, never once asked to even speak with David. He didn’t care. Too absorbed in his research I would imagine. Don’t forget, I was working on my senior year thesis with Dr. Church when he got me pregnant. It happened late one night when the two of us were at the lab together working. A night he probably should have been home watching you. But he wasn’t, was he? You know, he never even once mentioned he had a daughter. The entire year and a half we worked together, he never even said your name.”
Nora crossed the kitchen to lean against the counter, her arms still over her chest, a cruel smile on her lips. “And you. You didn’t even know you had a brother, did you? You wouldn’t have been knocking on my door asking about him 29 years later. Either Dr. Church couldn’t be bothered to tell you or you couldn’t be bothered to find him until it suited you. You even served with him!” Nora laughed, “and for that entire time you either didn’t know because your family didn’t care, or you didn’t care.”
The malicious mirth died and Nora leveled malevolent eyes at the woman across from her. “When, in all that time, did you or your father ever stand behind David? Help him to stand when he couldn’t? Accept him for all his flaws and faults?” She unfolded her arms and jabbed a finger against her chest, “I was the one who was there. I wasn’t a perfect mother, but I am his family. You did nothing!” Her voice was low, cold and cutting. “You are nothing!”
Carolina was silent for a long moment as she fought her instincts. Knocking Nora out wouldn’t do anyone any good. Well, it would make her feel good, but not enough to offset the annoyance of dealing with the aftermath. Almost, but not quite. The truth was, Nora’s words were hitting a lot closer to home than Carolina wanted to admit. Yes, she had known that Dr. Church had never been the most attentive father, nor had she expected him to brag about her to his colleagues, but that didn’t make hearing it any easier. She had spent most of her life secretly hoping that if she tried hard enough, got the best grades, received the most awards, won the most tournaments, that maybe, just maybe, Leonard Church would say that he was proud to call her his daughter. Three decades later, she thought she had made her peace with that disappointment. So why did it feel like someone was twisting a knife in her heart all over again?
She couldn’t refute the comments about her father. Hell, she could barely refute the comments about her. She had left Wash behind, even if it was against her will, and it hadn’t been until her father had told her that she had a brother that she had thought about finding him again. Carolina hadn’t always done right by her brother, but, dammit, she was trying to do something about it now.
Burying her feelings, Carolina sneered back at Nora. “Raised him? When exactly did you do that? Did you teach him his first words? No, that was your mother. Catch him after his first steps? Oh wait, that was your mother again. Take his picture on his first day of school? Tend to his scrapes and bruises the first time he fell off of a skateboard? Tell me, before my father started sending you money, did you even remember you had a son?” It was probably a good thing that Wash wasn’t here for this; she had a feeling that he probably would end up punching her for what she said next, even if it was just as a reflex to defend his mother.
“You know what you were there for? You were there when Ralph, the man that you chose decided to beat the crap out of your son. You stood there and did nothing while that asshold gave Wash scar after scar. While he hurt the person you claim to have raised and protected. You did nothing.” Carolina narrowed her eyes. That son of a bitch had gotten off way too easy the last time she had seen him. “My father may not have been around to watch him grow up, but what’s worse, Nora? Not knowing your son is in pain and fearing for his life every day, or being the cause of it?”
Nora scoffed at Carolina. She didn’t need to justify the way she had raised her son to anyone, least of all this bitch. “You sure know everything, don’t you?” She snarled. “You don’t know anything. I did what I had to do to survive. That’s the nature of this world.” She pushed off the counter and stalked towards Carolina again. “I don’t care what you say or what you think. David is still my son. None of your ranting or accusations can change that and will never change that. I am his family. His only family. He will always be there for me. You will never be anything more than his superior officer.”
“Mom!”
Nora stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around. With all the yelling and anger, she had completely forgotten about lunch and that it was usually this time she met David for him to take her out. She hadn’t even heard the door to the apartment open. She stared at her son, standing in the doorway to the kitchen staring at the two women, his eyes flickering between them.
Carolina didn’t quite jump at the sudden sound, but her arms immediately uncrossed and one hand was partway to her sidearm before she realized who it was. She also hadn’t heard Wash come in the door. God, she probably just gave Nora even more ammo against her. Maybe she was a bit jumpy today. Not that she would ever admit that the woman was right. “Wash.” She said under her breath, glancing at him as tense shoulders relaxed and her hands returned to her sides.
Looking at Wash’s face, Carolina figured pushing Nora any further wasn’t going to help anything. Turning back to Nora, she managed to growl, “You say he’s your family? That you took care of him and not the other way around? Well then start goddamn acting like it.” Red hair whipped behind her like an agitated tail as she turned to exit the kitchen. “I’m going to get my clothes now, if that’s okay with you.”
“Oh, so now you’re going to leave!” Nora growled back. “Just two minutes ago you were ordering me to get out.” She turned towards her son. “She pulled a gun on me! She was going to shoot me!”
Wash’s eyes moved towards Carolina as she started to stalk out of the kitchen. “Carolina you don’t have to go.”
“David!”
“It’s her apartment,” Wash said tiredly. “We don’t need to be here.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” Nora demanded. “She pulled a gun on me. She was going to shoot me! Your mother!”
“She wouldn’t shoot you,” Wash responded just as tiredly.
“Yes. Yes she would have!” Nora exclaimed. “She was yelling and threatening me and making all kinds of crazy accusations! She punched your stepfather in the face, she most definitely would have shot me. She’s crazy!”
“No, she’s not,” Wash’s voice was still tired, but it had taken on a biting tone that made even Nora pull back from him. Behind him, Sophie whined. “I heard what she said.”
Nora was silent a moment staring at him. Her eyes darted towards Carolina and then back once again. The moment she realized she was no longer going to get what she wanted, her eyes took on that malevolence once more. “Fine,” she snapped, “if that’s the way you want it.” She glared over at Carolina. “You want to take care of this bastard, you’re welcome to it. I’m done with him.” She tossed the key she had been gripping on the floor. She huffed as she snatched her purse off the counter. She stormed from the kitchen, roughly brushing past her son. The next thing that was heard was the door slamming shut behind her.
Carolina had stopped when Wash had started to speak. Even though she had been the cause of the argument, she also knew when to keep her mouth shut. There had been precious few times that she had heard that particular edge to Wash’s voice and bad things tended to follow it when pressed. Her brother may not have inherited her temper, but he was just as lethal when pissed off. Perhaps more so.
Green eyes followed Nora’s back as the woman left. Even after the other woman had gone, Carolina didn’t move. Mostly because if she did, she would have given Nora a broken nose to match her idiot husband’s. Her fist tightened. No one insulted her family and got away with it. At least not for very long. There was a little vindictive voice in the back of her mind that hoped the stupid woman tripped on her way down the stairs. See how well she stormed away with a twisted ankle.
“You didn’t have to do that.” Carolina said softly, finally breaking her silence. She turned to look him directly in the eye. “This is your apartment, too.” Still, with that woman gone, her shoulders began to relax. She wasn’t going to say she was sorry, because she wasn’t. Given the chance, she’d probably say all those things all over again. Maybe even a few more. However, it hadn’t been her intention to sabotage Wash’s relationship with his mother.
“Yes, I did,” Wash’s voice was deflated and exhausted. Resigned and accepting. He took a step forward and reached down to pick up the abandoned key. He looked at it before discarding it on the counter. Carolina hadn’t sabotaged anything. There was no relationship between him and his mother. There never had been. Yes, he’d always known that and yes, he had hoped that this time things would be different. Deep down he really had hoped that despite everything she had said, everything she had done, that she really did love him.
“I was an idiot,” he muttered to himself, leaving the kitchen. “I don’t think she’s coming back,” he said to Carolina without turning around. “So you can probably move back in. Sophie’s missed you.”
In a weird way it was kind of a relief now that he knew for certain, that he didn’t have to keep clinging on to that foolish hope. It was also a small relief that she was gone and he probably wouldn’t see her again. A relief maybe, but it still hurt.
Carolina rubbed her temples for a moment before sighing. God, this was a mess. They were a mess. It was a miracle Wash had turned out as well as he did, drinking and all. She followed Wash out of the kitchen. They may be a mess, but that didn’t mean they had to be a mess alone.
“I miss her too.” It would be nice to come home too. As much as she enjoyed staying with Kanan, it wasn’t really her place. She was his friend, not his girlfriend, even if she did have a drawer of mostly-ruined shirts in his room. Sooner or later she knew he’d get his flirting legs back beneath him and as much as she would be happy that he was that confident in himself again, frankly, she didn’t want to be in the same house when it happened.
Once she had caught up, the red head hesitated before finally placing a hand on Wash’s shoulder. She wasn’t the touchy-feely type, but she wasn’t an ice queen. Carolina just had a difficult time showing that. “And I missed you.” Her hand squeezed his shoulder in apology. “I know I’m not exactly sister-of-the-year material, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Wash’s shoulder was stiff. It didn’t stiffen under her hand, it was already stiff, as though he’d had nothing but tense muscles for the past two weeks. He didn’t try to move her off, but his body didn’t relax. “You don’t need to be sister of the year,” he answered. “You’re the only sister I have. That’s better.”
He looked back towards her. A pack of cigarettes was in his hand. According to the apartment complex’s lease, tenants weren’t permitted to smoke in the apartment and Carolina didn’t care for when Wash went out on the balcony to have a cigarette, but he kind of hoped that she’d let it slide, just this once. “Is it alright if I have one?” He asked. “Do you mind?”
Carolina gave a silent sigh at Wash’s words. She may have been the picture of confidence against Nora, but it meant something to have Wash call her his sister. Especially now. Wash’s shoulder a soft pat before letting it fall. Yes, she did mind, but she would much prefer that he smoke instead of head out to drown himself in a bottle. ‘It’s fine.” She eyed the pack in his hand, debating for a moment before shaking her head. “Might as well have one for me too.”
Running a hand through her hair, Carolina turned to look back at her bag by the door. Now that the excitement was wearing down, Sophie had started nosing the fabric. Probably smelled the bones or suspected the human had brought her a treat as she had every time so far. It had become a bit of a habit to alleviate the guilt of not being there for the dog. Hopefully that expectation could be swept away quickly now that she would be home more often. She also needed to do laundry, but that could wait. RIght now she had frustration to work out and a brother to distract from drinking.
“Hey, what was that game you got the other day? The fighting one? It’s two player, right?” Carolina didn’t often play video games, but right now it was either that or the mats and she had a feeling that Wash would prefer not to be thrown about right now. Besides, right now she really needed to punch something and if virtual was all she got, she’d take it.
“Tekken,” Wash answered her without enthusiasm. He’d bought the game two weeks ago, just before before Nora had arrived and turned everything inside out. He hadn’t even had the chance to put it into the Playstation.
He knew what Carolina was doing, or was trying to do. He appreciated it, he really did, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the game at all. He stepped out onto the balcony and pulled the door behind him just enough to keep the smoke from wafting back into the apartment, but left it open enough so that Carolina could talk to him if she wanted to.
He lit the cigarette and took a drag. He was quiet a few long moments as he pulled the apathy about his game around him like he would his armor, shielding him from all other wounds and pain. It wasn’t fitting quite right. The more he tried to force it, the more it only seemed to increase the pain he was already in. Normally in situations like this, he’d have gotten a bottle of whiskey and used it to force the shield into place. He felt the urge well up like a physical need causing his hands to shake and a sweat to break out down his back.
Not this time. He watched his exhaled smoke get caught by a passing breeze and swept away from the balcony and dissipate until it vanished. He’d made a promise. Anna may not have heard it, but he had promised it nonetheless and he wasn’t going to break his word a second time. If that meant he was stuck out there shaking and glaring at his own smoke, then fuck it, that’s what he’d do.
“I heard what you said,” he commented. His voice sounded dull. He wasn’t sure if that was preferable over having it shake in time with his hands. Grey eyes moved back towards the interior of the apartment.
Carolina watched as Wash headed outside. She let him go, letting him have his space. The video game was forgotten the moment after his feet hit the balcony. That hadn’t worked the way she had hoped. She adjusted her hair, harshly throwing it into a bun at the base of her neck. It had been years since she had needed to keep her hair up all the time, but a few months back in the Marines and it had once again become second nature.
With one last look at the cracked balcony door, she headed back to the entrance to get her bag. Sophie followed a moment later, tail wagging faster and faster as she realized that the human was finally going to give her the treat she had smelled. “Here you go, girl.” Carolina said softly, holding the bone until Sophie had it firmly in her jaw. Appeased, the Shepherd trotted over to the dog bed in the corner and proceeded to gnaw happily on the rawhide.
The rest of the bag was left beside the couch as she eyed the man on the balcony once again. The debate of whether she should go out there with him was answered as he started speaking. Carolina’s face was smooth, but inside she was angry at herself for not noticing his entrance sooner. “Did you.” She headed outside and leaned her forearms against the railing. Green eyes slid to the side to glance at him before returning to the smog-dulled hills. “Which part?”
Wash balled up his free hand and wedged it under his other arm so Carolina wouldn’t see it shaking. There was little he could do with his other hand while he was still holding the cigarette. He hoped if he kept it close enough to him, she wouldn’t notice it shaking either.
“I heard what she said about your-” he paused, swallowed and restarted again “-our father. And I heard what you said in response. About her and about my stepfather.” His eyes moved to follow her gaze out over the hills. “You were right about all of it.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Carolina saw Wash’s fist tighten, but she didn’t think much of it. After all, it was only natural to be angered by what had been said. There was no pleasure in being right about it, either. The conclusions she had come to should never have had to come to light in that manner. That stupid, stupid woman. With any luck, she really was out of her son’s life for good this time. If she couldn’t change then it was better that she was out of his life completely. Like her- their father usually was. She had been keeping the two of them apart for what she had thought was Wash’s own good, but was it really the right decision?
“She was right too. About our father. None of his coworkers knew he had one kid, much less two.” She turned to look at Wash before putting her back against the railing. “I met one of them once, you know. She’d been the one grading all of my reports. Apparently she thought I was his niece.” If only. She certainly would’ve had a very different life if she’d been part of her one of her uncles’ families instead of her own. Or even if her mother had just come back alive from that damned mission.
Carolina studied the balcony door as if she suspected it was going to close on them on its own. “But the man is your father. So if you want to see him, yell at him, punch him, then no one should stop you from doing so. Not even me.”
Wash had lost count the number of times growing up that he had wanted to know who his father really was. Meet him, speak with him, ask him questions that had plagued him since he’d been young. He still wanted those things, reconcile the man from the Dreams with the man in this world. But what could possibly come of it except putting his sister in the awkward and painful position of bringing them together?. And for what? For Dr. Church to dismiss him as just another finished project.
He kept his eyes on the hills outside their apartment. His hands were shaking more and Wash tightened his grip on his cigarette, and held his arm closer to his chest. “It doesn’t matter if I want to see him or talk to him or not,” Wash said. “You don’t, and it’s not fair for me to put you in the position where you would have to.”
“Of course it matters.” Carolina turned her frown from the door to her brother. “It matters to me and it should matter to you. It’s not like I haven’t dealt with the man-” Her eyes caught the shaking and she finally put two and two together. He wasn’t shaking with anger. No, it was definitely something else that she was kicking herself for not seeing sooner.
One hand moved up to Wash’s forehead to check for a fever. “How long have you been shaking? When was the last time you had a drink?”
Wash closed his eyes and tightened his arm around his middle. He should have known he wouldn’t have been able to keep his withdrawal symptoms to himself. And now that Carolina had noticed, he wasn’t sure why he’d been trying to hide them in the first place. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know he’d been drinking. And it certainly wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen this before. Had he really fallen so far and hard into old habits, that he was trying to go through this alone as well? He really was a mess.
Wash opened his eyes when Carolina reached for him, but didn’t move to avoid her hand. He hadn’t realized how hot he was running until he felt Carolina’s much cooler touch against his skin. “It’s been a couple of days,” he said. “Since you and I talked last. The shakes just started today.” He took a breath. “It’s not as bad this time.”
Wash’s forehead was hot, but it wasn’t near what it had been at the cabin. Thank goodness for small favors. That didn’t mean she was about to ignore it, though. Carolina sighed softly and pulled her hand back. “Damn idiot rookie.” The fever was a good sign that he was keeping away from alcohol, but it was a bad sign as to how much he had started consuming in the few short months. Not to mention the fact that he obviously hadn’t told anyone what was going on.
Carolina considered her options before shaking her head. “C’mon. Let’s get you to bed.” She could get the rest of her things from Kanan’s place later. Their apartment wasn’t as isolated as the cabin, but he could still detox here. So long as he was willing to avoid temptation at the same time. Her hand hesitated before slipping around his shoulders. Just in case he needed help getting back inside. And if it helped comfort him too, then all the better.
Temptation was a fact of life. Wash was an alcoholic and alcohol was everywhere. It was a temptation he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life. If he couldn’t resist it now, then there was no hope for him in the future. He had too much riding on his sobriety to fuck it up now.
“I gotta go back to work,” he tried to protest, but the words were empty and hollow. He didn’t take a lot of time off, a single afternoon wouldn’t hurt anything. He had the weekend to get his shit together. So he didn’t resist Carolina’s arm around his shoulders. In fact, her touch seemed to help relax the tenseness that had gotten in them and up until now had refused to let him go. Carolina wasn’t a touchy-feely person, but this was enough.