Who: Kanan and Carolina What: Carolina has a special treat for Kanan When: Late August Where: A vacant/abandoned parking lot Rating/Warnings: Don't try this at home Status: Complete!
It was a beautiful Southern California day. Just enough clouds to tame the glare of the sun, yet the sunshine still battled through the cover enough to warrant a pair of sunglasses every now and then. Right now the clouds were winning, so the sunglasses were lying in wait on top of Carolina’s red hair. The windows were down, wind giving life to the normally straight locks of crimson. Yep, it was the perfect day for a drive and Carolina knew just the person to share it with. Plus, today she had a surprise planned as well.
There was a hint of a smile on her lips as the Challenger pulled into the driveway of Chateau Katou. It was a beautiful car. Loved just as much now by its owner as it had been the day she had first arrived home. Being allowed to drive the sexy machine had been an honor that Carolina did not take lightly. She regularly took the car in for tune ups and oil changes, making sure the car purred just as well as when Kanan was driving it full time. Sure, it ate up its weight in gas during the commute down to Pendleton and back, but God, listening to that engine and slipping through traffic like a hot knife through butter made it worth every damn penny.
Carolina put the car in park and climbed out, keys jingling in her hands. She had a feeling she was going to eventually face the typical excuses and opposition Kanan would give every time she started to kick him to do something new, but she knew the reward today would be more than worth it. There was something beautiful about the thought of reuniting man and car that made even her want to grin.
Instead of heading inside, Carolina leaned back against the door and pulled out her phone to let him know she was waiting outside. Kanan was getting better with the cane, but she was not above making sure he took every opportunity to practice getting around with it. Even if it was just from the front door to the passenger seat of his own car.
That morning, Kanan was seated at the kitchen table, a set of headphones over his ears as he listened to his latest assignment from Jane Shepard. Bless the woman, she had somehow found a way to keep Kanan in her employment even after his usefulness as a weapons runner and space gofer had ended. It may have just been listening in on conversations he shouldn’t be and was far more covert then Kanan was used to doing, but he found the work to be satisfying and goddamn if he didn’t owe Shepard big time for keeping him on when she didn’t have to.
He felt more so than heard Carolina arrive. The Force was becoming stronger and more insistent in his life every day. He removed the headphones from his head in time to hear the familiar rev of his challenger before Carolina killed the engine. Curious, he reached for his sunglasses and got to his feet. He’d gotten as far as the door to the kitchen when the Echo Dot beeped, letting him know he had a message. No small wonder who the message was from, but Kanan told Alexa to play it anyway.
Sure enough, it was Carolina, announcing that she was outside waiting for him with his car. Of course she was waiting outside. Kanan would have been shocked if she’d come inside rather than pass up an opportunity to have him practice with the white cane. That was how Carolina worked. He’d resisted her attempts to get him out of his comfort zone at first, but she was a stubborn woman who refused to accept a no without good reason. He owed her as much as he owed Shepard.
Aviators in place and white cane in hand he ventured outside. The air was warm and pleasant and the sun warmed his face. A good day for a ride if there ever was one. He sensed where Carolina was standing, but was unsure of where the car itself was. “I’m glad you texted instead of honked the horn,” he joked.
Carolina snorted in amusement at the comment. “Texting was the backup plan. Originally, I was going to rev the engine a few times, but I wasn’t sure the engine was warm enough yet.” She had plans to do that later, though. Damn but the machine could purr. With any luck, she would not be the only one. Her eyes fell on the white cane in Kanan’s hands and one side of her lips twitched upward. He could be just as stubborn as her when it came to digging his heels in against change, but at least he had brought it along today without being prompted. One hurdle at a time.
Carolina shifted her weight, sliding her feet along the concrete. “It’s a nice day. Cooler’s packed. Tank’s full. The road is calling our names.” As she watched him pause outside the door, her lip quirked upward. “But if you want to pick the station, you’re going to have to use that cane.” Still, it would probably be best to give him a little bit to use as a frame of reference. Specifically, a frustratingly subtle one. “Coffee’s waiting for you inside.” With the windows down, Kanan might even be able to smell it from where he was.
Using the white cane was taking some getting used to, but it didn’t injure Kanan’s pride quite the way he had initially thought it would. He could not do anything about being blind, but being blind wasn’t a problem that needed to be fixed. It was what was normal for him now. And Kanan was learning that normal was what he decided it to be. The white cane was just a feature of the new normal. He’d even go to that class Carolina had mentioned to learn how to properly use it.
The sound of Carolina’s feet against the driveway caught his attention. The way it bounced before reaching his ears indicated that she was standing in front of something. Probably his car. A grin crept over his features. God, how he missed his car.
Kanan adjusted his grip on the white cane, letting it unfold and snap into place. “Ma’am, yes ma’am” he joked. With the cane telling him where the steps to the porch started and ended and what imperfections there were in the path to the driveway, Kanan made his way towards her. “You’re such a slave driver,” he smirked towards the sound of her voice.
Carolina watched Kanan make his way toward her. Good. He was starting to get used to how the cane worked. She had been watching a few documentaries on blind children that navigated via echolocation - even to the point of riding a bike! - and while she hadn’t brought up the topic with the Jedi, it was interesting to see how he reacted to the sounds around him and then used that information to correct his path even before the cane told him something was there.
She patted the car door before shifting to stand up. “You sound like my trainees. Maybe I should make you run laps too.” Carolina also hadn’t missed that grin. It was obvious that he missed his car. Not that she blamed him. The smirk widened on her lips. Oh yeah, she was definitely going to rev the engine a few times on the way out of town.
Carolina waited until Kanan was most of the way to the car before she opened the driver’s side door. He was making good progress. Maybe he really had been practicing. “Hm. Sure you’re not in the mood for country music today?” She teased.
Bouncing sounds and reverberations were good for certain things, but didn’t necessarily do any good for cracks or uneven pavement, just as the Force was good at letting him know just who was nearby and how close or far away. The cane was pretty good for that.
“No country,” he said and gave Carolina a teasing frown. “You get to drive my car, but I get to control what plays on the radio. No George Strait today.”
“Hn. We’ll see about that.” Carolina’s amusement was obvious in her tone, even if she wasn’t exactly smiling. “You haven’t made it yet.” She was serious, though. If Kanan ended up needing help finding the passenger side and getting buckled in, she was going to blare her own personal country mix on the car’s magnificent sound system. If only to make sure that he tried harder the next time.
Kanan had reached her at this point. He could tell by how her voice had gotten louder. He was standing...maybe three feet from her? The car had to have been close by, but his cane hadn’t struck on a tire or her foot yet. His other hand was held out slightly in front of him, feeling for the door handle and-
There it was! He felt the warm familiar metal of his car and quickly determined the door was in fact open and waiting for him. “Found it!” He declared, then turned a smug look in her direction. “Looks like I’ll be our DJ for the afternoon. Hope you like Led Zepplin.”
Both hands glided over the interior of the open passenger door to the inside of the car. He could smell it, familiar and inviting. It had been a long time since he’d been in it. He’d missed it, but he hadn’t realized just how much until he was inside and in the passenger seat. It almost felt like coming home again after being away for a long, long time.
Carolina was sporting a grin as she watched Kanan get into the car. At least no one around could see it; she had a reputation to uphold. “They’re no Merle Haggard, but I suppose they’ll have to do.” She slid into the driver’s seat, giving him time to get used to being in the passenger seat. Sliding the sunglasses into place over her eyes, she started the engine. “But if I hear anything poppy coming out of the speakers, I’m pulling over.”
They hit the freeway with ease and Carolina picked up speed. Normal traffic usually ran pretty fast in California, but she decided to kick it up a notch so that Kanan could feel the purr of the engine. Sure, there were police cars about, but they’d have to catch them first. Okay, so maybe she was grinning now. But who could blame her? Besides, it was a ways out to their destination and a bit of haste wouldn’t hurt anything.
The destination, such as it was, happened to be an abandoned parking lot in the middle of literal nowhere. A square mile of paved nothingness, once meant to be a parking lot for a new sports complex. After the funding dried up the place played host to more street racing than tailgating. Also the perfect place to take someone to learn how to drive all over again.
Carolina stopped them in the middle of the parking lot. Reluctantly turning the key back and letting the beautiful engine fall silent again. Taking a moment, she leaned back in the seat and picked up her coffee. “We’re here.” She took a long sip before turning toward Kanan. “Any guesses?”
Kanan had never been a passenger in his own car. He would have preferred to have been driving, but he was still enjoying the ride for what it was. The feel of the car was amazing, and just as he remembered it being. Powerful and smooth. He loved the sound of the engine when it revved and gunned and he loved the feeling of the wind off the highway as he and Carolina shot through the county. This was as closed to perfect as Kanan thought life could be at the moment.
They could have spent the entire afternoon just cruising around on and off the highways with Kanan listening to the engine and enjoying the wind on his face and he would not have minded in the slightest. He was a little puzzled when they stopped and Carolina declared that they were “here”.
Kanan opened the passenger door and cautiously got out. He hadn’t been able to track where the two of them were going, and he really hadn’t been trying, just enjoying the ride for what it was. The look of confusion was clear on his face. There were no people here. He felt Carolina on the Force and a few smaller creatures most likely animals of some kind, but nothing more. He could hear some doves or pigeons cooing, but there were no other sounds he could use to help identify their location. He could smell something on the air, but he couldn’t quite identify what it was. It smelled hot. Now that he thought about it the air felt hot, and felt as though it was coming up from underneath. The ground under him was hard. Asphalt or concrete. A scratch of his feet against the ground indicated to him that there was loose gravel over the surface, not a lot, but enough to feel the vibration as it moved between the bottom of his sneaker and the harder surface under it.
He closed the passenger door hard and listened to the sound it made. There was no echo and the noise fell flat in his ears. No buildings were around, or at least not close enough for the sound to bounce off of. No trees either.
“I’m not sure,” he said after a few minutes of quiet. “An old air field maybe?”
Following Kanan out of the car, Carolina took stock of where they were. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she felt uncomfortable sitting out in the open like this. The car was the only cover for over a mile in any direction and she had to fight the instinct to crouch behind it as she made her way over to Kanan’s side. The wind kicked up the end of her ponytail and she checked behind her, glaring at the far tree line. Isolated and open was the entire point of the place, but she sooner they got back in the car, the sooner the little hairs on the back of her neck could settle down.
“Good guess, but not quite.” Carolina’s shoes scraped over the asphalt, every step purposefully audible against the windy silence. Stopping beside him, she continued scanning the horizon as she spoke. “It’s a parking lot. They ran out of money before the arena was built, but they managed to finish the lot. It’s too far out of the way for the city kids to frequent too often, so we should have the place to ourselves until near sundown.”
Placing a hand on Kanan’s shoulder, Carolina finally turned from the horizon to look directly at Kanan. This wouldn’t work if both of them weren’t completely on board. “So. Do you trust me?” She had a feeling that he hadn’t quite reached the point of trusting himself yet, but as long as he believed in the trust she put in him, it would be a start.
Now Kanan was confused. Why on Earth had Carolina driven them out to an abandoned parking lot? He followed the noise of her steps a she came around the car. He noted that she was purposefully making noise with her feet as she walked. Not scuffing the ground, but definitely kicking and toeing at the gravel as she walked. Kanan appreciated the gesture. In his mind he had a fairly good picture of what the place looked like: large and empty with no cover whatsoever. Not an ideal place for a marine just back from the front lines. On top of it, she was actually drawing attention to herself so that he would know where she was. The question still remained, though: why were they here?
The hand on his shoulder drew his face in her direction. Even with the aviators hiding his eyes the puzzlement was evident on his face. Did he trust her? That struck Kanan as an odd question to ask. Had he given her reason to think that he didn’t? He had resisted her attempts to get him cooking again, yes, but that hadn’t because he didn’t trust her, he hadn’t trusted himself.
“Of course I trust you,” he answered, his voice matching the confusion on his face. “Carolina, what’s going on? Why are we here?”
“We’re here because it’s the perfect day for a drive.” Even now, the sun felt warm on her skin, but it was still a pleasant warmth. God Bless California. Even in the dead of summer the damn state seemed to be full of mild weather. Nothing like the blast furnace they called a desert she had been marching in a few weeks ago. Compared to Iraq, California summers were paradise. It was always short sleeves and sunshine in the states. Of course, being covered from head to toe in camo and gear overseas may make those missions a sweltering nightmare, but at least she didn’t have to look like a walking lobster when she came home. Genetics could be a real bitch sometimes.
Carolina’s hand traveled down from Kanan’s shoulder and took his hand. “And I’m asking you to trust me now because I know your first instinct is going to be to say no.” Her footsteps were much quieter as she led Kanan back around the car to the driver’s side. He already knew where she was. No need to announce it any more than she had to in this place. “And you already know I’m not going to take that for an answer, so I figured I’d get that out of the way now.”
Once they reached the other side, she opened the door for him. “Get in.” Carolina might have been smirking just a bit. This was going to be fun. “She’s your baby, Kanan, and I know she’s missed you almost as much as you’ve missed her.”
Kanan still didn’t fully understand what it was Carolina was getting at. He followed her lead around to the driver’s side of the car. It wasn’t until she told him to get in that full realization dawned on him.
He was going to do the driving.
Instantly there was a flood of mixed feelings about this prospect. On the one hand, there was a plethora of reasons why he should not get behind the wheel. He could do a lot of things on his own now, but there was a reason why the blind commonly didn’t drive their own cars. The Force helped him while out walking, but driving was an entirely different matter. Reaction times were less. He couldn’t sense potential inanimate obstacles. But on the other hand, this was his car. The car he’d always wanted to own, but couldn’t out of sheer necessity to remain anonymous. He’d only had it for a few months before going blind. He did miss it. He missed it a lot. And here they were, out in the middle of nowhere in a large expansive space.
He reached out and placed a hand on the driver’s side door. The longing to drive his own car again was quickly out weighing all the very real and legitimate reasons why he should not. “There isn’t anything out here,” he repeated carefully. “No trees. No buildings. No barriers…” His hand ran over the top of the door in a near caress. Kanan wanted this so badly he could feel it in every inch of him.
Without another word, he got in the car and behind the wheel.
Huh. Carolina arched an eyebrow as Kanan slipped into the car without a single protest. That was easier than she had hoped. Either he was becoming more confident in what he could and couldn’t do now that he was blind or he really missed his car. The smart money was on a mix of both. The real hope today was that the latter would help boost the former. If nothing else, it would be a good learning experience. For both of them.
Carolina waited for Kanan to get seated before closing the door behind him. Now that she was the only one standing outside, the space seemed even more open, more isolated. She didn’t quite hurry back over to the passenger side, but she didn’t dawdle either. There was a tenseness to her shoulders that didn’t go away until she was safely tucked away in the passenger’s seat. She let out a silent breath. Inside the car, she could at least pretend they were behind cover.
“Keys are in the ignition.” Carolina placed her hand on his shoulder. It had been a while since she had been a passenger in this car. Usually she preferred to be the one driving, but for this she’d make an exception. Or maybe it was the car. They did have a history with cars. “I’ll tell you when to turn. If I squeeze your shoulder, slow down. Right now there’s nothing but empty asphalt in front of you.” Her lips quirked upwards. “If those terms are acceptable, you’ve got a green light until either the sun sets or we run out of gas, whichever comes first.”
If Carolina hadn’t pushed him in his kitchen a few weeks earlier, hadn’t encouraged him (in her very unique Carolina Way), Kanan would have been more resistant to the idea of getting behind the wheel of his car. Even now, sitting in the driver’s seat, a bit of doubt was bubbling up from his guts, telling him this was a bad idea.
But he wanted his. He wanted this so badly. As Carolina darted around the car to the passenger side, Kanan allowed himself a few minutes to get situated. His hands moved to the steering wheel first. His palms moved over the center before moving to the steering wheel’s ring. Slowly his fingers wrapped around it. It felt familiar, almost comforting. His car.
The sound of the passenger door opening and closing and the ruffle of someone getting into the seat next to him indicated Carolina was back. Kanan’s hands continued to move while she spoke, first to finger at the keys in the ignition, then down to the center console where the shift lever was.
In the wheel well, his feet were re-familiarizing themselves with the placement of the gas, brake and clutch.
Kanan took in a slow breath. They were really going to do this. This was really happening. A slow, but hesitant smile was pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I accept the terms,” he stated slowly. And with that, he started the car.
There is a dramatic difference between sitting in a driver’s seat and passenger seat of a vehicle. In the driver’s seat you could feel everything the car did. Every twitch, every rumble, every vibration could be felt through one’s body. Kanan knew his car and he knew it well.
He revved the engine a couple of times, reacquainting himself with the car’s growl, how it sounded, how it felt through his body. That smile grew.
Strapped into the passenger seat, Carolina watched Kanan’s expression with a growing smirk of her own. “Sounds like she’s happy to see you too.” There was no need to tell him that she had gotten the idea from watching some of the “chick-flick” movies and shows in her queue. No, he had entirely too much dirt on her already. Not that she minded much, but it would be a shame to have to punch him when he should be enjoying his bonding moment between man and car.
As pleased as she was that the idea and concept had been accepted, neither would mean anything if this didn’t work. She was not the one behind the wheel and while she didn’t have her finger on the car’s pulse, Kanan did. It was up to him to actually drive the car. All she could do was trust and direct him.
Carolina let him set the pace. If he wanted to keep things on the slow side for a bit, she would go along with it. For a bit. If he had the confidence to test his baby’s time from zero to sixty, well, bring it on. They had plenty of time for him to slowly get used to how different speeds felt and how far he would need to turn the wheel back and forth. Practice was something she was very familiar with and she had a feeling that Kanan would be all too happy to perfect his “blind driving” skills.
It was slow going at first, a lot of stopping and starting and even stalling as Kanan got used to the idea of the car moving while he was in control of it. He knew his car, though. He knew it’s sounds. He knew how it groaned and growled when kept in first gear. He knew the anticipation in its vibration when it was settled in second. In the end it was the car and not Carolina, who coaxed Kanan into pushing past his inhibitions and finally opening up the car’s engine and take advantage of the deserted lot.
And it was awesome. It wasn’t something Kanan would be willing to do on any given street in Orange County, but this. This was amazing! The challenger growled and roared at him for more and what could Kanan do but oblige.
He followed Carolina’s instructions. He listened to her describe what was in front and around them. He turned when and how far she instructed. When she squeezed his shoulder, he slowed down, if only enough to be able to take the turn she instructed him to take. The entire time he was smiling and laughing, hardly believing what he was doing.
Several hours had passed and the sun was low in the sky when the gas tank had only a third left. If the two were going to get home, they would have to stop.
It was nothing short of amazing. She had been witness to the car coaxing Kanan from his worrisome shell and boy was it worth it. His laughter was contagious and Carolina found herself grinning as well. From where she sat, he looked like the proverbial kid in a candy store. True to his word, Kanan had obeyed her every instruction as he drove around the empty lot. Occasionally he seemed to even be anticipating the turn. Whether it was him getting used to the space or the Force, she couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, it worked and that was all that mattered.
As much as Carolina hated to end the day, it was time. She had been keeping an eye on the gas tank and knew it was getting close to the cut off to make it back to the nearest gas station. She squeezed Kanan’s shoulder twice. “Slow to a stop and put ‘er in park.” It was good timing, actually. They were nearing the exit of the parking lot. “Time to head home, cowboy. We’re getting low on gas.” Dusk was also creeping up on them and she didn’t want to be anywhere out in the open like this when she wouldn’t be able to see the glint of a scope in the treeline.
Kanan wished they could have stayed there forever, just driving, but, sadly, muscle cars weren’t known for their bottomless tanks. The sun’s position had moved. It was no longer warming Kanan’s face the way it had been when they’d arrived. The air was starting to cool as well. The wind coming through the window had gone from a relief from the hot day to a chill. It was going to be dusk soon. They didn’t want to get stuck out here. Not when darkness came. It wasn’t a world he wanted Carolina to have to experience, even temporarily.
Reluctantly he came to a stop where Carolina told him. The entire experience had left him breathless, but exhilarated. He cut the engine, but stayed in the driver’s seat another moment or two, catching his breath and committing the day to memory. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before,” he said, turning his face towards the passenger seat, eyes behind his sunglasses focused on a spot just in front of where Carolina sat. “Thank you.”
It was an odd feeling to be still after spending so many hours with the purr of the car’s engine all around them. The stillness was loud in the cooling air. Carolina didn’t want to break the moment, but she wasn’t one to dawdle either. Her hand fell from his shoulder to undo her seatbelt. It had been a fun day, even if she hadn’t been the one behind the wheel. Her eyes had already returned to the treeline when Kanan spoke, pulling her attention back to the inside of the car.
“You mean no one’s ever taken you on a blind test drive in a deserted lot? Imagine that.” Carolina’s lips quirked upward in a smirk. She stretched forward, flexing the muscles of the arm that had been stationary on his shoulder for so long. If they were going to get back to civilization, she would need it to be in good working order. Still, she knew what he had meant. “You’re welcome.” The marine pat his shoulder one last time before opening the passenger door. It was time to go home.