Eren Jaeger (outsidethewalls) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-08-26 21:37:00 |
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Entry tags: | armin arlert, eren jaeger |
WHO: Armin Arlert and Eren Jaeger
WHAT: financial worries
WHEN: backdated to early July
WHERE: their apartment
RATING/WARNING: low
STATUS: finished
Eren loved coming home to Armin. It was his favorite part of the day, getting to see his boyfriend’s face again for the first time all day, knowing they had the rest of the night together. And their kids, too, of course. Zelda and Pan running up to greet him made him almost as happy. He opened the apartment door and locked it behind him when he heard the familiar jingling of his pug’s collar as she ran towards the living room. “Hey, baby girl.” he murmured as he got down on his knees to pet her, laughing as she licked his face. “Is your other dad home? Huh?” he asked her before calling out. “Armin, I’m home! What do you want to eat tonight?” He was pretty sure it was his turn to cook, and he just liked doing it besides.
****
Armin was sitting on the couch, flipping through his new cookbook and trying not to feel guilty for spending money on something they didn’t need. Eren had told him it was okay, that they could use it but he couldn’t shake the thought that if he’d been clean with his boyfriend about what his parents were saying the answer might have been different. He looked up when he heard Eren calling him, trying to force a normal looking smile on his face as he got up to go greet him but his cell phone going off distracted him. He glanced at it quickly, seeing it was just a text and he sat back down to see what his parents said this time.
“I don’t care. Whatever you want to fix is fine. I’m not very hungry.” He called back weakly.
***
Eren gave Armin a confused look as he went back to phone. It wasn’t like him, so whatever it was had to be important. Was everything alright back home, he wondered? “Are you alright?” he asked his boyfriend as he walked over to sit beside him on the couch. Zelda followed close behind, jumping up between them, ready to help Eren console Armin. “Are you sick, or did something happen?”
***
Armin couldn’t help himself when Eren came and sat down beside him - he leaned against his boyfriend and rested his head on his shoulder as he stared down at his phone, trying to figure out what to say in response. “I’m not sick but - I’m not okay. I really shouldn’t have bought that cookbook but it was the last one we had and I wanted it and I just...I shouldn’t have gotten it,” he said rambling as he tried not to cry. It was all just getting too much for him.
***
Eren was confused by his boyfriend trying to justify buying a book. It was his money, and he was sure that they would use it. He wrapped an arm around him and hugged him tightly as he leaned in to kiss his temple. “Armin, Indy… What’s wrong? Why are you beating yourself up over buying something you wanted? It’s your money, you’re allowed to buy yourself things.”
***
Armin quit trying to keep himself together at that kiss to his temple, letting himself cry as he leaned more against his boyfriend. “I...I should be saving it for the fall.” He whispered. He reached up with his free hand to wipe his eyes gently. “I’ve been....My parents aren’t sure they’re going to be able to support me the way they did last year. I’ve been trying to talk to them about it over text but they’re not budging. The text I got right before you got home...that’s what it was about.” He took a deep breath. “They’re willing to pay my tuition and school fees but as for my half of the rent and bills...they don’t feel comfortable with that since the situation has changed.”
***
Because the situation has changed. The move. Eren had never understood why Armin’s parents didn’t like him, he’d never met them, and had never tried to do anything but make Armin happy since they met. He let out a long sigh and held his boyfriend tighter against him. “So rather than pay half of what they were to help with bills and rent, they’d rather try to… what? Force you to go home?” He kissed the other boy’s temple again as he slowly pet his side. “We can talk to my parents, see what they’re willing to do… and we can keep working when school goes back? I used to work after school at home, it’s doable.”
***
Armin curled up tight beside him, almost in his lap as he idly pet Zelda when she started nuzzling at his hand. “I think it’s more force me to move into my own apartment.” He murmured. “I don’t want to move. I like our home. I like knowing that you’re right there every night and not just most nights.” He added, pulling Zelda into his lap so he could hug her. “I just...I don’t get it. I don’t get why they’re doing this. Why they’re...punishing me for doing what I want with my life for the first time ever.”
***
“Because obviously it’s going to be easy to hop in and out of leases at their whim.” Eren muttered. “And I don’t want you to move, either. I like sharing a home together and getting to see you and these two every night and just…. Have the entire evening to do whatever we want.” He smiled at Zelda when he noticed that she had somehow wound up in Armin’s lap. She always seemed to know just when she was needed the most. “I don’t know why, I don’t get it either. I don’t know if it’s because it’s me that you’re with, or if they would do this with anyone. But it’s not fair to you. You should be allowed to do what makes you happy.. We’ll figure it out, alright? ...We could always tell them I moved out and then use the other half of the money for date nights.”
***
“I sleep better with you here,” Armin confessed. “I think they'd do it with anyone. A part of me wonders if they were only okay with me being gay as long as I wasn't seeing someone seriously.” He added after a moment.
“I don't want to lie to them. I won't about you.”
***
“I do too.” Eren whispered as he nuzzled at Armin’s hair. “I just know that they’ve never really liked me. ...I guess it’s more the idea of me, then. That they can’t pretend or something.”
Eren had always felt lucky that his family had pretty much been waiting for him to come out before he did. When he was fourteen and told them he thought he was bisexual, his Dad turned to ask his Mom if she had January. Whether they really did have a betting pool or not, he still didn’t know. The point was he knew right away that they accepted him for who he was.
Armin, it seemed, wasn’t lucky enough to have that.
“I was only mostly joking. You’ve got to admit, though, it would feel kind of fitting that they were unknowingly paying for us to go out to a concert or the aquarium together…. And I don’t want you to lie, either. I’d never lie to mine about you.”
***
Armin hugged Zelda close to him, petting her as she licked at his hand. Pan would cuddle him later he knew. “I don’t know why they don’t like you. Or the idea of you either. Everything I’ve told them about you...is how good you are to me. For me. How much I love you. How...happy I am with you.” He whispered, looking up at him, tears rolling down his face.
“I’d feel too guilty to really enjoy that night out though. ...And I’m scared that if my grades fall too far because of work...they’ll quit paying tuition. And I don’t know what to do. And I didn’t want you to find out how bad things had gotten with them.”
***
Eren’s heart clenched when he saw those tears on Armin’s face, and he reached out to gently wipe them from his face. “Maybe it’s what you said and… they were okay with you being gay until there was a serious boyfriend and they couldn’t pretend? I’m not really sure. I’ve never met them... “ It did hurt a little that Armin’s parents judged him without even meeting him. “And I know… I’ve never done anything bad to you. If I had, I’d understand it… but all I’ve ever done was try to make you happy.”
Eren leaned his head against Armin’s as he spoke, listening to him. “We’ll figure something out… talk to my parents about the rent. Or see if you qualify for any scholarships you didn’t know you did or something. We’ve got this, Armin.”
***
Armin leaned into his touch as Eren wiped his tears away, sniffling a little as he looked at him. “If you had I wouldn’t be with you,” he whispered. “I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been. I just...this hurts. I never imagined they would act like this.” Parents love was supposed to be unconditional wasn’t it? So why wasn’t his?
“How do you know? Why are you so sure?” He whispered.
***
“I ...I wish I could tell you why they’re doing this. What they’re thinking.” Eren murmured. He hadn’t ever met Armin’s parents after all. He just knew they weren’t exactly fond of him, hadn’t been since they started dating. Was it because they were only alright with Armin’s sexuality in theory? Or was it because he was taking their baby away from them? He didn’t know. ...if it was the second, they had an awful way of showing how much they cared about him.
“Because we’ll fight like hell to make it work.” Eren whispered into Armin’s hair. “Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it. Because it’s worth fighting for.” They had different avenues to explore, after all. They could figure something out. But Armin having to leave, or worse, go back home, was not an option.
***
“This...isn’t what I wanted you to come home too today.” Armin whispered, looking up at him and giving a weak smile as Pan jumped up on the couch to stretch out over them and he stroked the cat softly, almost by reflex.
“You’ll help me keep track of my studies while working? I’ve never had to balance the two before,” he whispered, looking back down at their animals sitting with them.
***
Eren hoped that the three of them, their animals and him, would help reasssure and calm down Armin. He gave him a small smile in return and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek. “Wasn’t your fault, Indy. It was theirs. And I’d rather you tell me what’s wrong, you know?”
Eren nodded. He had to keep his grades up while working, it was the deal he made with his parents when his mom hired him. Not only that, but he’d have been kicked from his extracurriculars by the school if they dipped. “What helped me was making a list to keep track of. And crossing it off after I did it.”
***
“You were already sick. I didn’t...I didn’t want to give you more to worry about. I just wanted you to focus on getting better. That’s what was important to me. I thought...I thought I could handle this with them.” Armin murmured, looking down at Pan as their cat started purring softly.
“I’ll have to give that a try. See if it helps me. And I guess no more browsing the cookbooks on my break. I’ll have to study.”
***
“I know I was sick, love, but… I don’t want you to ever feel you can’t tell me something, okay?” Eren whispered as he kissed Armin’s temple. “This is ...so much more important. But we’ll figure this out, okay? I promise.”
“Probably not for a while, at least until you get a hang of how to balance it? I don’t want you to have nothing but work and school… That’s not fair to you either. But ...maybe a cookbook every now and then won’t hurt. Or fantasy book.”
***
“I was scared you might get upset and it might make you sicker…” Armin whispered, feeling his face heat up as the blush spread over his cheeks. He knew when it was happening he should have talked to Eren about it but he hadn’t. “Your health is important to me Eren. I don’t like it when you’re sick.” He added.
“Life’s not fair,” Armin whispered, not even realizing he’d said the words out loud until it was too late to stop himself.
***
“It’s not, Indy.” Eren agreed as he nudged Armin lightly with his shoulder. “But… we’ll make it. Alright? As long as we work together.”
***
Armin let himself smile as he looked up at Eren, laying his head on his shoulder at that nudge. “Alright. I promise. I’ll come to you the next time there’s shit going on. The next time they text me and it upsets me. No more secrets.” Armin whispered.