Vanessa Cleveland can turn invisible (filiampandora) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-08-01 21:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | penny adiyodi, vanessa cleveland |
Who: Penny and Vanessa
What: Penny gets drunk and tells Vanessa something he did
When: After Presto’s transformation back into a guy
Where: Their Her apartment
Warnings: Penny is a warning right?
Status: Complete when posted
Penny, honestly and legitimately and truly, tried not to read Vanessa’s mind. Sometimes he took a peek - when she was moody (he’d learned not to ask if a woman was on her period, he had that much sense at least), when she was upset, when she had a dream or, well, other times and she certainly never complained about that - but other times he tried to give her some privacy. But sometimes she was just so fucking loud that it would be like ignoring someone shouting in his ear with a megaphone and he literally couldn’t help himself. Such was the case when he came home from a visit with Presto, red in the face and with a very solid image of Presto’s skinny white ass in her head. Penny didn’t stick around to figure out why. He could imagine. He just stood up and without a sound Travelled to the alley behind a bar fairly close by, walked in, and started ordering shots.
Several hours later and solidly shitfaced, he managed to get the door open, stumbled into the living room, and face planted into V’s lap. “I don’t want you lookin’ at anyone naked but me,” he mumbled into her thigh. “‘Specially not other dudes. I can’t look fuckin’ Presto in the eye anymore ‘cause now I know what his dick looks like. Also his name is stupid. Tell him I say his name is real fuckin’ stupid.”
***
Vanessa had planned on telling Penny the entire story as soon as she got home but he’d taken one look at her and left the house and she’d just curled up on the couch after showering and slipping into that stupid sweater he loved so much to watch something on Netflix. She had started up friends just because it was the first thing on the recommended page (although she had no clue what she’d reached that could make them think she’d be interested in Friends). It was just noise, something to distract her from worrying about where Penny had taken off for and whether she could make him realize that nothing had happened with Presto. It had all just been...an accident. A awkward, embarrassing, still blush causing accident.
She’d almost dozed off when Penny came in and flopped down with his head in her lap. She looked down at him, her sleepy state making it take a minute for what he mumbled to filter through her brain. “It wasn’t something I planned on doing when I went over there to hang out. It was an accident. The spell he was practicing backfired and - it’s a really really long story but it was a complete accident my seeing him. And - I like seeing you naked better.” She said, fighting the urge to reach out and touch his skin, curling her fingers up into a fist and burying it between the cushions so her hand couldn’t betray her.
***
“Don’t care,” Penny grumbled. “Still happened. Still a stupid name.” His drawl, normally pretty carefully hidden to hide his roots, was coming out and he cursed again at that. He hated his stupid fucking accent, he hated where he came from, he hated his past. He just wished it would all go away sometimes, forget how nobody wanted him.
...had he said that out loud? Fuck. He covered his face with his hands and groaned. “Shouldn’t’ve gotten so goddamn drunk,” he slurred.
***
Vanessa knew right now was not the time to admit to liking his drawl on the rare occasions it slipped out. She just had to hope he wasn’t in the right state to be filtering through her thoughts and picking up on that one in any way that would stick. She gave out a little sigh and pulled her fist out from the cushions so that she could touch his shoulder softly. “Maybe not but...I’d have probably reacted the same way if it was you who’d seen some other girl naked. Only then we’d be down quite a few beers.” She said quietly.
“I’m not touching your comment about his name Penny. I’m just not” she said, a little amused by him sticking on that. She knew people who would probably have a few comments to make about the name he chose to go by. “It doesn’t change anything and I know that but I am sorry.” She told him, pulling her hand away to shove a piece of blonde hair back out of her face. She wasn’t apologizing for going to hang out with Presto, although she knew that wasn’t something that exactly thrilled him considering how pissy he’d gotten about her and Presto going out to lunch, but the other things - accident or not - she did feel sorry for. Sorry for...hurting Penny that way.
***
“‘S why I left. Wouldn’t drink what we had in th’ house,” Penny mumbled. “Sometimes I can be smart, no matter what everyone says.”
Penny waved a hand, flapping it about. “Stupidest fuckin’ name I’ve ever heard. Stupider’n William. Do you know how hard it is to top fuckin’ William for stupid?” He kept grumbling about it, waving off her apology. He wasn’t mad anymore. He couldn’t say anything, considering everything - Iowa, everything that came before, the things he’d do in the future when backed into a corner. He made a wounded noise when she took her hand away but didn’t move to bring it back, catching onto her thoughts. “‘S not you. ‘S everyone. My parents, the assfucks who kept shoving me into homes, the assfucks in the fuckin’ homes. Everyone. Why d’you think I’m like this?”
***
Vanessa looked down at his face, biting down on her lip before speaking again. “I’ve never said you weren’t smart Penny. You know that. And even if you did drink what we had - we’d get more. Maybe not tonight but we could,” she said, keeping her voice soft as she reached out to touch his arm again, leaving her hand resting on it this time.
“I wasn’t talking about William and you know it,” she was trying not to act overly relieved that he’d come back home in one piece. That thought made her pause. When did she start thinking of this place as their home? “Like what? Human?” She asked.
***
“Not you, just - “ Penny waved his hand again. “Ev’rybody. You ain’t ev’rybody. ‘S different.” She drove him crazy but she was the only one who’d ever wanted to make him stick around and work through that crazy. “Doesn’t matter. Saved time. Could spend it with you.” It was the sappiest thing he’d ever said, and he didn’t realize the contradiction in leaving her alone to go to a bar rather than drinking at home. Did save her from having to deal with him in the stage between tipsy and drunk where he turned into an even bigger asshole than normal.
“I am William.” He shifted his head a little to look at her with one bleary eye. “Big terrible secret. Told Kady, wasn’t enough to turn us into geese. Had to tell her a big one. Guess ‘my parents hate me even more’n I thought’ isn’t good enough for their pretentious fucking spell.” He chuckled at her presumption and hid his face again. “An asshole. Hates everyone. Does stupid shit all the time. Fuck a woman in Iowa ‘cause I hate myself but I’d hate myself more if I couldn’t get back to you.”
***
Vanessa would have laughed at Penny saying he’d gone out by himself so that he could save time to spend with her if he’d said it while they were having any other conversation. As it was she bit down on the inside of her cheek so that she wouldn’t, rubbing his arm with her hand without even thinking about it.
His confession about Iowa was like a slap in the face and it showed on her face before she could stop it. “That’s why you were so distant when you got back,” she asked, her voice shaking a little bit before she got control of herself enough to pull her hand back as it started disappearing.
***
Penny hummed noncomittaly, not realizing quite what he’d said. “Not the first time, been on that horse before. Didn’t want you to get anything, I don’t know what they do out in Iowa. Probably fucked a horse one time. Like that - that Russian lady. Or was she German? Whichever one fucked the horse.” He didn’t notice Vanessa’s sudden disappearing act, nor the distress in her voice.
***
Vanessa was focusing on her breathing exercises, trying to keep herself from disappearing anymore but it was a losing battle and she knew it as she felt her arm starting to disappear up to her shoulder. And that keeping herself from getting upset was another losing battle as she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn’t know why she was so upset it. They weren’t a couple but it still hurt finding out what he’d done, and that he’d gone so far out of his way to keep her from finding out. That hurt more than that it had happened. “I think she was Russian.” She said, her voice coming out small and tired sounding as she looked away from him at the living room wall.
***
Penny noticed the sound of her voice and rolled his head to look at her, noticing the tears. He swore and pushed himself up, reaching for her with clumsy hands before swearing again and rolling off the couch. Climbing to his feet he glanced back at her again, then stormed out of the apartment to go back to the bar.
Well at least they were even, now.