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(ಠ_ಠ) (break_the_cycle) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-07-03 22:20:00

We’ll have to ride into the sunset together.
Who: shepard and callisto
what: Cheering up. Kind of
When: 7/1
Where: somewhere with a view
Status: complete
Rating: PG



“It’s not that easy to track you down, you know.” Jane took a seat next to Callisto and setting her cane aside. She almost hadn’t noticed that Callisto was missing, except there’d been no reply to texts or phone calls, and after a day or so Jane had decided she ought to be the thoughtful girlfriend and actually find her.

“But I have my ways.” She held out a bag with a burger in it. “Got you a drink too. Because I’m nice like that.”

If Callisto wanted to talk about it, Jane would listen. But she hoped she at least wouldn’t mind companionship.

Callisto had surprisingly not gone that far away. She’d gone far enough away from Orange County and the reaches of Los Angeles that she could have some peace. She’d been sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was peaceful enough, away from roads and cars and people that might bother her.

She hadn’t expected anyone to come after her, but it also didn’t completely surprise her that Jane had come. She looked at the offered bag for a moment before she took it.

“Are you sure that you wouldn’t rather have someone normal, someone who wasn’t emotionally stunted?” She was using Xena’s words, but it was true. Callisto was emotionally stunted. She preferred the term psychopath, but emotionally stunted made her seem less crazy that she actually was.

Jane just shrugged. “I’m here. That answer enough for you?” She didn’t agree that Callisto was emotionally stunted. Yeah, she was a little messed up, but so were a lot of people. It wasn’t her fault, and Callisto had shown more than once that she cared, at least in her own way.

Callisto looked at Jane for some moments before she nodded. She still didn’t quite understand why Jane liked her, but then she still questioned why Xena put up with her for twelve years. She took the burger out and took a bite of it. “Sometimes lately I’ve thought that Xena would be better off without me in her life.” And for once she didn’t mean it in a suicidal way.

She put her arm around Callisto, and leaned her cheek on her shoulder. “Don’t seem like you two always see eye to eye. Maybe you need some space. Some friends shouldn’t be roommates.”

God knew there were people from her lives that she wouldn’t be able to live with. “There’s space where I live.”

“It’s actually a miracle that we haven’t killed each other.” Since the dreams had started, there’d been a lot more animosity between her and Xena. “Pretty sure she still hates my guts because of the dreams. But, you know, kinda helped kill her son. Among other things.” Not to mention Xena had burned down Callisto’s village and her parents and sister had died in it, which started it all.

“You sure you want me to move in with you?” Even knowing that Jane wouldn’t ask and then retract it, she still felt like asking.

“You know, I can think of one or two people I’d end up trying to kill if I lived with them. Doesn’t mean I liked them any less. But I’d still ask you to move in with me, even if you were living on your own and not with Xena.”

Who was a bitch.

“Yeah well, I’m not fully convinced distance would help.” And if that’s how it was going to go, then that’s how it would go. Callisto didn’t know if her friendship with Xena could survive the damage the dreams had done. Did she want it to survive? Yes, she did, but she wasn’t going to force it if Xena didn’t feel it.

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” Jane didn’t now how many ways or how many words she could use to actually say, but she’d say them all if she had to. “I love you. Crazy, stupid in love with you. And I wouldn’t change anything about that, or about you.”

About the only thing that really, truly hurt her was that she knew kids weren’t an option. And she’d have to accept that.

“I can’t really argue with that sentiment,” she responded. It really said a lot that Callisto didn’t fight back more. Considering every conversation related to any sort of emotion or serious topic was generally a very, very long, frustrating and drawn out battle with Callisto, the fact she didn’t fight spoke to how she felt about Jane. “I love you, too.”

And if she was aware of how badly Jane wanted kids, well, Callisto would probably step aside to let her find someone who wanted kids as well. Callisto well knew she wasn’t mother material, and children probably shouldn’t even be around her long-term. Xena was the maternal one. Callisto was the fighter.

There was a reason Shepard didn’t bring it up. It was a fight she didn’t want to have. What she wanted was Callisto, and there were some things that life didn’t give you. She figured any chance of children in her life had died with her relationship with with Regina.

“Might be time for a bigger place anyway. Maybe we should get a dog.”

“I could do a dog, so long as it wasn’t like a poodle or something.” Because yeah they were all well and good, but Callisto would prefer something less dainty-looking. “Maybe also fireproofing the place. Just in case.” Considering Callisto’s abilities that Hydra had given to her, she didn’t want to take chances.

“Thinking something like a German Shepherd.” She nudged Callisto’s shoulder with her own, grinning at her own joke. “That kind of dog, anyway. Something big and tough but also makes a great pillow.”

Considering her fish usually died and it was a miracle her evil hamster was still alive, maybe a dog wasn’t a good idea.

Okay, that one made Callisto laugh. “Are you sure you’re German, though?” Callisto teased in return. “I like big dogs. Always kind of liked pit bulls. They’re given a bad reputation, but it’s largely just the kind of owner they have.” And maybe Callisto felt some sort of kinship with them because of that reputation.

“Maybe somewhere deep in my ancestry.” Jane leaned against Callisto. “Okay, we can get a pitbull. There’s this show I was watching when I was convalescing, all about pitbulls and them helping ex-cons.”

“I think I’ve seen that show before. I like it.” Callisto brushed some hair behind her ear. “I’ve been meaning to ask, do you like horses at all?” If so, she’d have to introduce Jane to her horse one of these days.

“Horses?” Jane didn’t hesitate, “I haven’t ridden in years, but I’ve always liked them. Big, strong animals that could kick your ass into next Tuesday? What’s not to like.”

“Perhaps one of these days I should introduce you to my horse. Gift from my dreams.” And it was a good, non-lethal one. Well, unless the horse kicked you in just the right spot or you fell off just the right way, but nevertheless, it was less lethal than a sword in Callisto’s hand.

“Just let me know when. I can pick up a treat so I can make it love me. I have a way with animals.” A deadly one, don’t let Jane care for your pet it would only end in disaster.

“She likes apples. Carrots are good, but apples are her favorite.” Why? She didn’t know. It was just something Callisto had discovered on accident.

“Apples, got it. I know a farmer’s market. Fresh apples, right from the orchard.” She figured that would be best. At least it was an effort at doing the best for Callisto and her horse. “We’ll have to ride into the sunset together. How’s that sound?”

“I think you’ll be her new favorite person if you give her those.” Callisto responded. She had to chuckle softly. “That sounds cliché, but I’m not against riding into the sunset together.”

“We’ll have to start out farther east.” Jane gestured to the west, and the sun that was conveniently starting to set. “Unless the horses are really good swimmers. Then we could start on the beach. Might be fun.”

Riding on the beach actually sounded really nice.

“Horses are good swimmers. Riding on the beach is definitely fun. Though the only time I did so was in my dreams and it was into a battle.” And it probably hadn’t been an ocean-front beach. Possibly more a lakeshore. Callisto couldn’t quite remember that right now.

Jane pulled close to Callisto, closing her eyes and turning her face into Callisto’s neck. Her leg ached, but she ignored it. She just wanted to be close to her, to memorize her scent and her taste and the feel of her skin. Like she was afraid she’d lose it.

Callisto shivered a little, closing her eyes as Jane’s face pressed into her neck. She had to say that she had a weakness for Jane touching her skin. She leaned into it, loving the feel of it. “Thank you for coming to find me.”

“You’re one of mine now,” Jane told her, lips ghosting across Callisto’s skin. “And I never abandon my own.”

Another shiver ran through her, and Callisto set her hand over Jane’s. “I definitely like that.” It was really weird and sometimes frightening to Callisto to have someone that would always come for her. But she also liked it. Relying on someone else wasn’t natural to her, but she found herself relying on Jane for some things of late. Love. Contact. Stability. Things of that nature.

Jane could do the heavy lifting. It was something she was used to and a part of her nature to do so. Her hand slid down to Callisto’s, and she squeezed it. She said nothing else. Words didn’t matter.