InsaneJournal

Who: Lara and Bo
What: Bo has a no good very bad dream.
When: This morning
Where: Croft Manor
Warnings: Talk of dream character death



The turn Bo’s dreams had taken were a disturbing one. For one, she and Rainer had killed the Una Mens. Yes, it had been satisfying, but Bo couldn’t help but to feel a sense of dread over it in her waking life. But no matter what, she hadn’t foreseen the events of this dream to happen. In fact, nothing in the dream mattered except what had happened at the end of it. Bo had come back to the clubhouse to find a horrific scene.

Kenzi was laying on Hale on the floor. There was blood. A lot of blood. Hale was dead, and Bo couldn’t console Kenzi. In fact, certain words Kenzi said echoed in Bo’s head. She jerked awake, gasping a bit as she sat up. She was shaking and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“Hale, oh god,” she breathed as tears filled her eyes. “Kenzi.” She couldn’t handle this. The emotions from the dream flooded over and she started audibly crying. She didn’t notice the blood on her hands.

Lara had gotten up early. She’d been in the groove since her talk with Diana, and wanted an early start in digging through a delivery of ancient manuscripts that had arrived late the day before. But something made her get up to check on Bo.

There were many sights that Lara would never forget. This was one of them. Keeping herself calm, Lara hurried across the room and touched her chin. She knelt in front of her. “Love, shh. It’s okay. You’re awake now.”

While Bo had cried before, right now she was more raw, more vulnerable-looking. She looked at Lara as tears streamed down her cheeks and a sob came out of her. “Hale...Hale’s dead…” She managed to croak out between a couple sobs.

“Oh no.” Heedless of the blood, Lara wrapped her arms around Bo, pulling her down into a hug, intent no not letting her go, and holding her tight. “I’m so sorry Bo, I’m so sorry.”

Bo wrapped her arms around Lara tightly, crying into her wife’s shoulder. Sure she’d killed plenty of fae and underfae in her house, but she’d never had a friend die in it. And it was made all the worse by the fact that Hale had just proposed to Kenzi. That was made all the worse because of what Kenzi had said to her. She had more to say, but she was too busy crying to be able to talk at the moment.

“Shh, shh…” Lara rocked her. She had nothing to say, but she could imagine how it felt. She’d lost Alex. She didn’t know what she’d have done if she lost Reyes and Jonah too. Or Zip or Bryce, from some of her other dreams. She just knew that Bo was devastated, and she just knew she had to be there for her.

She cried out for a little while, just clinging to Lara. But finally she calmed down enough to talk. “He...he’d just proposed to Kenzi.” It was heartbreaking. Hale had been a great friend, and she was supportive of him and Kenzi. But more than that, what had happened between her and Kenzi while kneeling over Hale’s body echoed in her head. “Kenzi wanted me to bring Hale back. But there wasn’t enough chi to do that. When I’d brought Dyson back from the dead I’d taken chi from four other people, two of them being fae, to save his life. Kenzi and I were the only people there. Oh god, she told me to take her chi, but I wasn’t going to kill her to bring him back. She...she told me I was selfish and that I didn’t help people, I’d only ever helped myself, and she said she’d never forgive me if I didn’t do it.”

And that alone just made her start crying again. Things had really gotten so bad between her and Kenzi that it had come to that. Bo knew that Kenzi was hurting, that she blamed herself for Massimo killing Hale, but she didn’t think what Kenzi had said had been out of pain. Bo felt it was part of the overarching issues that had been between the two of them lately in the dreams.

Lara repeated her earlier ‘oh no’ in her head. Why were Bo’s dreams so cursed? They were worse than her own, which was saying a lot. She could feel her own heart aching for Bo and Kenzi. Kenzi for her loss, and Bo for everything else. She pressed her lips against Bo’s forehead. “She didn’t mean that. If it took four people to save Dyson, then just one person couldn’t have saved Hale. You’d have killed Kenzi with no guarantee you’d have saved Hale. When the pain isn’t so close she’ll forgive you and understand.”

“I don’t know,” she said through tears. So much had happened, and Bo and Kenzi hadn’t exactly been on the best of terms lately. Even though Bo had apologized earlier in the dream, but she didn’t think it was enough to really heal the rift between them completely. Not with more work. “She didn’t care if she’d die, but I did. God, everything’s so fucked up and wrong and I can’t fix it,” she sobbed. And that got to her because Bo was one that wanted fix things, to make her friends happy at all costs. She had the power to revive the dead, but she couldn’t save Hale.

Sam and Lara had drifted apart too, until Sam no longer wanted to see her and she’d gone off to try to forget she existed. Lara kept those feelings close to her chest, but it let her emphasize with Bo. It was really easy to put her in her shoes. “No, you can’t fix it. But no one should have to fix everything.”

It was all a mess. A complete and utter mess, and Bo didn’t know where they would go from here. Something terrible was coming for them, but she couldn’t deal with that yet. Not when her heart was broken over Hale, and it was broken for Kenzi. “What good are my powers if I can’t even save my friends? What good am I if I can’t even be a good friend? Maybe Kenzi’s right, maybe everything I’ve done has only been to help myself. Maybe I really am that selfish,” she sobbed.

“Look at me.” Lara took Bo’s face between her hands. “Look at me. You’re the most selfless person I know. You’d move mountains for anyone you love. But sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you can’t. You’re not perfect. You want to save everyone and you can’t.”

Bo looked at Lara, tears still streaming down her cheeks. She sniffed loudly and let out another sob at her wife’s words. Logically, she knew she was right. Bo was the type to go well out of her way to save absolutely everyone. Things had been changing in her dreams of late, but she still liked helping people. “Oh god, Lara, it’s all going so fucking wrong,” she said with a sob.

“I know.” It always went wrong, and Lara felt a moment of abject dismay. But stiff upper lip. She stood, and pulled Bo to her feet, pulling her into the bathroom so she could clean her wife up. Her desire to ensure Bo wouldn’t be alone only grew after this. Someone needed to be there for Bo, no matter what hell was thrown at them. Lara had seen hell, or places close enough. She wasn’t afraid.

As she was pulled to her feet and led to the bathroom, only then did she realize she had blood on her hands. “Oh god,” she practically croaked. The image of Hale’s lifeless body flashed through her mind again and it only made her heart break even further. While many of Bo’s dreams had effects that carried over to this life, this one seemed far more real than any of the other ones. Even the wounds she’d personally woken up with didn’t feel as real as Hale’s blood being on her hands.

Lara got the water in the sink running, opening a cabinet to pull out the heavy duty soap. Typically for removing grease, she’d discovered it was great for cleaning blood from their hands. Wordlessly, she started to scrub Bo’s hands, relying on their skin contact to reassure her. She was lucky, she’d never had Alex’s blood on her hands, or Sam’s. Just her own.

Turning the water off, she reached for a towel. “Do you want to call Kenzi?”

She let Lara wash the blood from her hands. Bo watched it, seeing the last remnants of Hale mixing with water and soap and going down the drain. If Hale had been here in Orange County, Bo would probably have left by now to go give him a hug or just to make sure he was still alive. Most likely both. Then it would be checking in with Kenzi and seeing where she was in the whole mess of dreams.

“Yeah, but not until I calm down.” Bo preferred to not be a sobbing mess when she tried to talk to Kenzi about this. Even though they’d both probably end up sobbing messes when talking about it.

“Okay. Do you think you should warn her? If she hasn’t dreamed that far?” It seemed like the right thing to do. Give her a chance to prepare for it. Not that anyone could ever prepare for it, but Lara thought she’d want that kind of warning in Kenzi’s shoes.

“Probably.” It was going to be a blow to Kenzi, even if her feelings for Hale didn’t carry over into this life. Hale was still her friend, and it was still a loss. Bo sniffed loudly. Somehow she had a feeling that Hale’s death was only going to be the beginning of a series of very bad things.

“I wish your dreams would give you a break. You don’t deserve any of this!” Lara was tired of her own dreams, and of helping Bo through hers. It seemed like no matter what they did, they never got a break for very long. The dreams came and took all that away from them.

“None of us do. We didn’t ask for this. I didn’t want to be a succubus or to watch my friends die.” Bo didn’t want anything to do with her dreams right now. She just wanted them to end so she didn’t have to deal with them anymore. Of course, she’d still be a succubus and an immortal, but at least her dreams wouldn’t be able to torment her any longer.

“I never wanted to watch my friends and family die either. We didn’t ask for these scars.” Lara wasn’t just talking the physical ones. She smoothed down Bo’s hair. “But we have them, and we’ll get through this, like we always do.”

“No, we didn’t.” Bo understood what Lara meant by the scars. Some of the unseen scars would probably never truly heal. She took a slow breath. “Are you busy this morning?” She wanted company, but she wouldn’t ask if Lara had work to do.

“No.” Lara shook her head. “Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow. I’m not going anywhere. Neither are you. I’ll order in breakfast, we’ll curl up..” She glanced at the sheets. “We’ll go out to the back, overlooking the water. It’ll be nice.”

“Alright,” Bo said with a little nod. Hale was a siren, but she at least didn’t associate him with water. Though any music she heard for a while would most likely make her burst into tears. She tucked some hair behind her ear. At least Bo hadn’t been physically injured herself.

“Come on.” Lara grabbed her phone and some robes for them to wear, thinking they needed to get out of the bedroom for the time being, before it brought back any more of Bo’s memories or sadness. “I love you. I’m always going to be here when you need me.”