Esmeralda dances to the rhythm of the tambourine (changewillcome) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-06-25 13:30:00 |
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Between the people randomly singing to or at her, and then Destiny’s unexpected disappearance, getting out of the Court after performing that night was definitely something that was appreciated. Especially since it seemed Peter’s dreams were getting more complicated and just getting away from it all seemed like a good plan. With Djali seemingly asleep (thus no need to bring the goat along), Esmeralda had changed from her stage outfit into more comfortable clothing and then headed to the back to wait for Peter.
Or Gringoire could show up and… apparently he was going to start confessing feelings through song and be over all unsettling. Given she still wasn’t comfortable around him thanks to her last set of dreams, Esmeralda just gripped the dagger she kept on her person when she went out.
“Stop. I’m not interested. And if you keep this up, Clopin will throw you out and I won’t try to defend you.”
There was only so much a person could take. Apparently her voice and the look she gave convinced Gringoire because he mumbled an apology before heading back inside. Sighing, Esmeralda just closed her eyes as she leaned against the side of the building to wait.
Peter had felt like everything was building to something. He just couldn’t say what it was going to be. Destiny had channeled the dead girl, but that had left more questions and not enough answers. He didn’t know what it meant and he felt the loss of Destiny in that moment. She’d known things about the dreams. It was possible that she could explain them to him.
He just wanted to be able to think about something else. While he also wanted to be alone, he knew that alone and thinking tended to go hand in hand and Esmeralda was one of the few people that was easy to be around. So the sound of her talking to the general air (unless someone was there that he couldn’t see), seemed a little unusual.
“Interested in what, exactly? Also, I’m a self-proclaimed sexy man beast, so I don’t know.” He glanced around. “Unless you’ve got company that I’m not aware of. Also it’d be pretty disappointing to get thrown out.”
Hearing Peter’s voice, Esmeralda opened her eyes and pushed herself off from against the wall rolling her eyes some with a slight smirk.
“Oh yes, quite sexy man beast. No threat of you being thrown out.” Shaking her head some, the grip on her dagger had eased and she shrugged, “Gringoire continues to be… Gringoire. I guess he realized I was serious since he seems to have gone inside now.” Thank goodness for that. It was easier to breathe that way.
She no longer needed to rely on scarves or chokers to hide the bruising from the hanging and could stick with makeup now, which also made it easier to breathe.
Peter grinned. Yes, he knew that it was a very strange situation he was in, but he didn’t really mind. “Well, I’m glad it’s me and not someone else. Especially with our cheerful friend around.” He hadn’t punched Gringoire, but only because it would make things more difficult than they already were and Esmeralda didn’t need more complications than she already had.
He moved closer, lightly nudging her as he did. “Come on, then. Let’s get away and leave the asshole behind us. Plus, if he follows, I have all the more reason to punch him in the face.”
Orange County in general made their situations strange. It just was what it was, she had died twice, Peter was a werewolf. So making jokes about it when able? Why not. It was part of their lives. “Nope, you’re always welcome as far as I’m concerned.”
Gringoire really needed to just stop at this point. But Esmeralda was beginning to think he had somehow gotten Madellaine to feel bad for him and that was part of the reason why she was being more judgemental of how Esmeralda held herself mixed in with the pregnancy.
“Gladly,” Lacing her arm through Peter’s, she held back a laugh at the comment about having a reason to punch Gringoire, “Sometimes I wonder if that is what it will take. That or me pulling my dagger on him.” Which she was more than prepared to do if it came to it. She might be the nice one who always saw the best in people, but she didn’t let people walk all over her either.
Taking one quick look around, Peter led the way out. “Either or. I mean, the dagger thing would definitely send a message.” Whatever it was that was making Madellaine all kinds of ridiculous, Peter couldn’t say outside of baby hormones. Letha hadn’t been that kind of pregnant person from what he could tell. She was always happy and pleasant to those around her. He wasn’t sure if that was the norm or not. He was willing to believe Letha was in a class of her own.
“It’d be kind of hot, too,” he added once he found his way out of his thoughts again. “Just saying.” He really hoped Clopin wasn’t lurking around ready to cut him for even suggesting it. He wouldn’t have put it past Gringoire either.
Esmeralda really wished she knew what it was Gringoire was telling Madellaine so she could counter the points on why he was wrong and that he was getting into trying to be possessive territory as if she would find that attractive. It was almost as if he forgot the time in Canada when she’d flipped a guy to the ground and placed her foot on his throat to prove a point. Yes that one had been an outsider, still that didn’t mean she wouldn’t pull the same thing on Gringoire if he pushed her far enough.
“Oh, is that so?”
Amused, Esmeralda looked up at the sky as they walked towards somewhere decidedly less crowded in the quiet of night.
“It’s absolutely so,” he countered, smiling a little as he did. Then again, this was Esmeralda, so it was probably pretty easy. He’d seen the dances before, but he could appreciate them a little better now that he’d also been a part of them. Even if it was just to act as a prop of some sort. He was just glad that no one expected him to be a great dancer himself. He was better at being a great...pretty much anything else. Almost anyway.
Peter felt a little less interested by space and the sky than he had before, but before he wasn’t nearly as aware of the moon as he was now. Not that he was a werewolf that technically had to change the majority of the time. It was just something that caused him a level of stress. Maybe he’d get to a point where it didn’t bother him, but for now, he was okay with looking around at everything else.
“So I’m thinking about taking you up on talking to Clopin about working at the Court. I’m there all the time anyway. Plus, it’s income that doesn’t technically involve stealing.”
“Well I guess if you say so, I shouldn’t worry so much about it.” Not like she’d actually worry if it became necessary to pull her dagger on Gringoire, but it was easy conversation, which was typical for them as a general rule.
While there were always the city lights of Paris, Esmeralda was used to the outdoors, being out late and the lights. That light was one of the reasons she was always happy to see stars and the like, because of the difference between that and city lights. However as Peter mentioned he might talk to Clopin about an official job, she turned her attention to him and smiled brightly.
“Yeah? That would be great. And yes, between being there all the time anyway and having an actual income that doesn’t involve stealing is definitely a good thing as well.”
“Definitely not something to worry about.” The truth of it was that he’d probably end up punching Gringoire before she pulled her dagger on him. He was okay with that. Clopin probably wouldn’t get too mad about it. It’d save them all from Clopin doing the punching. Probably.
Her smile drew a smile from him as well. “Yeah. I mean...I probably should do something. Especially if I’m sticking around.” He could probably find a place to work on cars or something if he wanted to, but he was also fine to work at the Court. “Plus, it’ll give me a good reason to keep an eye on the general population that’s in there.” Not that he wasn’t anyway. It would also be a good excuse to keep an eye on Gringoire and Madellaine. In case either of them got some ridiculous ideas. “And what better excuse is there to bother you on a consistent basis?”
“Well, I’m glad there’s nothing to worry about them.” Esmeralda tended to worry enough as it was even as she flitted and flirted and tried to take care of everything despite being the youngest at the Court. There was an unspoken rule for everyone in the Court that letting Clopin get to a point of actually punching someone, or making them ‘disappear’ was in all of their best interests. No need to draw attention to themselves in such a way.
“Probably a good thing, yeah. Sticking around is also a good thing and I approve of it.” At least it was to Esmeralda. She knew that instinctive need to move, always on the run or avoiding. But there was something about something permanent as well. “Because it’s not like you don’t do that already since you’re always there?”
Quirking a brow in amusement, Esmeralda then laughed some, “Is it really bothering me if I always enjoy your company?”
Definitely no need to draw attention to themselves. Maybe if there was a way to actually keep them from being discovered. Plus, it would keep the police from looking too close and Peter had had enough of police in the dreams and outside of them. He didn’t really need them poking around now. Especially if he was going to stick around.
He laughed at her words. “Well….” He shrugged. “I guess that’s pretty much everyone’s second job even when they aren’t working here.” Outsiders weren’t to be trusted. At least not really. There were a couple of them, but...well, he was pretty sure that they were few and far between. He might have trusted Roman if he ever showed up, but well...it was kind of difficult to say for sure. It depended on how things went.
“Mmm. Maybe not, but I’ll still pretend it’s bothering.” He lightly bumped her shoulder. “So how’s everything going?”
It was still strange to Esmeralda that the Court had been in one place for over a year at this point, with no actual concerns about the police. Or at least not in an obvious way. There was always the need to make sure no one looked too closely at their papers and general concerns such as when the Court would get graffitied with hate or windows broken, but they weren’t being chased out and Esmeralda really would prefer it stay that way.
“It really is. It has to be.” As much as they were happy to take the money of outsiders, trusting them was a completely different matter. Even with those she trusted, Esmeralda was less open with them than she’d be with her fellow Roma. Well. Okay not Gringoire or Madellaine at the moment but as a general rule. Though she really had no idea what her response would be if Quasimodo or Phoebus showed up. At least with Frollo she knew she’d never trust him, the other two though? That was a bit more complicated.
“Okay, you pretend it’s bothering.” Amused, Esmeralda was happy to see that they were at the place she had mentioned. It was the closest she could get to the gardens of Paris so she would take it. Leading Peter over to a patch of grass, she shrugged at the question. “Better than before. Which is not hard given the whole…. Yeah.” It was still something that she thought about even if she didn’t let it control her, and the unconscious reaching up to her neck once again happened before she dropped her hand as had become habit when she was asked how she was.
At least those who knew what happened had not expanded beyond Peter and Destiny.
“You?”
“I will.” He looked around once it seemed they’d arrived. He hadn’t really done too much exploring outside of the usual...and while he was a wolf. It was still strange to think about. He was very careful who knew about that. He kept meaning to tell Grantaire and then he never did. It was difficult to tell people something like that when most of the people on the network were outsiders. They were back (once more) to the trust issue.
His gaze rested for a moment on her neck before he reached out to take her hand, lightly squeezing it. Well, if you’d quit trying to climb tree ropes in your sleep, we might be better off. He wasn’t sure if it was to the point where joking was acceptable, so he kept that comment to himself. “I’m all right. Worst that’s happened to me is Roman being a bitch and the werewolf thing. Plus I just decided to get a job. So that’s got to be the brighter part of things, right?”
Trust was always going to be a complicated matter, and no matter how well intentioned those on the network were? They would remain outsiders even as they were let in in some shape or form. Turning into a werewolf? Strange. Dying twice? Strange. Some people might be more open in discussing those matters but for them? Not so much.
As Peter squeezed her hand, Esmeralda looked over and gave a slight smile of thanks. While it had made her think, it still wasn’t something she knew how to put into words. Partially because those who knew about her dying were those who had been there, and also it was a lot to try and put into words though if anyone would understand the general thoughts and the feeling and familiarity of always moving around and decisions that led to as opposed to when in one place, it would be Peter.
“Yes, getting a job is certainly a positive. Especially since it’s at the Court and it’s not related to dreams or things that cross over.” All things considered, Esmeralda was relieved she hadn’t started a fourth set of dreams. Three was enough and the changing palm lines that made Madellaine so concerned would only worsen and that wasn’t a headache she was looking to deal with. “It’s...grounded.” Or as grounded as their lives would ever be.
Peter could still remember the feeling of fear and the impulse to act from the encounter. He was just glad that Destiny had been around to fix everything. It only made him wonder what the hell he was supposed to do now. He’d just have to hope he could find someone to trust that he could reach out to. He knew there were people that could heal. There had to be someone who knew what to do. He just hoped it wouldn’t be something he had to run into again.
“Exactly. Only it’s probably safer to make up some excuse for why I can’t work on full moons. Just in case.” Because he still wasn’t sure it wasn’t something he’d do again. He had a feeling the wolf didn’t want to be trapped without a chance to get out and he didn’t want to run the risk of doing something to bother it. “Grounded enough,” he said after a moment. “But if you ever do leave, I might just leave with you.” Because the idea of being in the OC alone just seemed...well, he didn’t want to be there. If Destiny came back, he could always return. If Roman showed up...well, that might complicate things a little.
Without really noticing it, Esmeralda kept a hold on Peter’s hand and nodded some as he discussed how it would need to make up excuses for the full moon, just to be careful.
“Probably, though it should be easy enough I think.” Mostly because she could convince Clopin if he decided to question it. Madellaine was probably the only one who would notice the timing if she really paid attention. Though given the latest songs thrown at her and comments she would say snidely. Esmeralda was good at ignoring her for the most part though.
“It’s more than we’ve ever had before…” And it was, grounded and stable was not something Esmeralda was used to, and while it meant she was able to consider things she might otherwise not, it still seemed odd even a year later. “Is that so? Well I can’t say I would say no to you coming along.”
Peter didn’t mention the fact that they were still holding hands. He just kept holding and focusing on everything else. If she wanted to keep holding his hand, he wasn’t going to say anything that might make her re-think it.
“It should be, yeah. So long as no one pays attention to it too clearly.” He’d probably be able to bullshit something. He didn’t have Roman to do his weird eye thing where he convinced people that what he said was true and then had a nose bleed. It was a bit of a disappointment. That was probably one of the most useful things. “I’ll be prepared for whatever might happen, though. Just in case.” It was always better to be prepared.
“Yeah. If Destiny comes back, maybe I’ll stay. If not, then...I guess there’d be nothing to make me stay. If you were all going anyway.” But he wouldn’t mind staying either. There would always be a part of him that was ready to leave at the first hint of a need to, but he was getting used to the idea of staying in one place. “But I guess I’ll worry about that whenever it becomes a problem. If it becomes one.”
All Esmeralda knew was that she felt more at peace here with Peter than she was currently feeling at the Court, and for that she was relieved. There was her concern for Grantaire, the tension of being around Gringoire and frustration of Madellaine, but she put up with it. For now, it was just feeling at peace for even a small amount of time and not questioning why.
“I don’t see anyone paying too much attention and if they did, I can handle them.” There was a common misconception people had about Esmeralda, that she was easily walked over because she wanted to see the best in people. Even those who lived with her always seemed to forget her ability to put a man flat on his back, to pull a dagger and threaten someone who overstepped.
She gave a small nod at the comment on worrying about it if it ever became a problem.
“That’s how I look at it. We have something permanent and grounded which was always the plan. So for now, I see no need to worry about needing to move yet again.” That voice of Clopin from the first set of dreams, Romani again must roam, how they had thought Paris would be that permanent place for them only for Frollo to ruin it. For now though, she really didn’t want to think about the possibility of having to leave once again. No, they’d been there for over a year now, a record and a good sign.
“Lucky for me.” Peter didn’t doubt her, really. He just didn’t really think too much about her fighting people at any point. She generally was kind to people and he hadn’t seen her have any reason not to be. Still, he knew plenty of girls that could take care of themselves, so he never doubted that they could fight. He definitely had faith in her ability to distract and make people look the other way if necessary.
Peter had never been in any place for very long outside of when Nikolai was still alive. Only he’d died. He hadn’t needed to cut his head off like he had in the dreams, however. There wasn’t any concern about Vargulfs coming back to life and killing. There was just...his grandfather dying and being at peace. The funeral services were still different, but it didn’t involve heads being cut off. He preferred that, really.
“I wouldn’t mind sticking around, so I’m happy to assume that’s going to be the way it is.”
“Extremely.” Grinning some at Peter, she then turned her attention back to the sky. Yes, she was far more comfortable with just proving a distraction to protect others or trying to talk things out and that undoubtedly would be the case if anyone actually questioned the consistent times of Peter not working on the full moon. She only fought back when absolutely necessary, much preferring words to violence. There was too much violence already.
“It’s a good thing to assume,” Okay so most people said assuming things was bad, however in this situation it wasn’t so bad. “And who knows, maybe it means we can consider things we normally don’t because we’re so used to always having to move.”
He arched an eyebrow at her comment about being able to consider things they couldn’t normally do. “What sort of things are we considering?” Because there were a lot of things that he couldn’t do because of moving around all the time. Getting a job was one of those things, but now he was able to get something. Though, it wasn’t really a job with outsiders involved. At least not outsiders running it. His only other consideration had been something to do with automechanics. But this was a better plan in general. No one would look at him too closely. Except Gringoire probably.
He didn’t really care, though. He was pretty sure he could take him if it came down to it. But he wasn’t sure what else there was. Maybe having friends was one of those things. He knew he didn’t really do friends in or out of the dreams unless they were Romani.
Gringoire would probably look closely at anyone he considered ‘competition’ if his current actions and behavior was anything to go off of and well, it wouldn’t end well for Gringoire if he ever tried to do anything other than be annoying.
“Relationships, connection….” It was hard to put into words because she never had considered them. “Outside of the Kumpania, I’ve accepted I would be alone…” Pretended not to care but maybe she did. Like Peter, unless someone was Romani, she really didn’t connect to them. Yes, there was Grantaire who was like a brother despite being a Gaje, and then Kitty but some things they wouldn’t understand through no fault of their own.
“I don’t know. Maybe dying twice and see how Madellaine and Jehan have decided things are stable enough to start a family has me...” what was the word, “Retesting?” That didn’t sound right. “Looking at things different.”
She wasn’t sure. There was a lot going on in her mind that she wasn’t quite sure what to make of them. Before there was nothing stable and always planning to be ready to leave, something frivolous like relationships and just general connection with others wasn’t on her radar but see enough people talk about it and having no reason not to and questions happened.
“Reevaluating,” he offered. He had a feeling that it was the word she meant. But then he couldn’t be positive. “I guess I haven’t actually considered that. I mean, friendship, yeah. Not that I have any real friends.” He was friendly with Grantaire. He was...talking to some Jeremy boy. None of that made him immediately trusting of others like them. He wasn’t even fully trusting of the latter. “I guess I haven’t considered romantic things, though.”
He knew that his dream self had a crush (at the very least) on Letha. She was in the dreams, though. But outside of the dreams were...different. “Sometimes it feels like families and all that junk are more likely to happen to other people. Not that I wouldn’t like it. It just...never felt like something I’d end up doing.”
Reevaluating sounded right, so Esmeralda nodded in thanks. Still, this was why she felt she could discuss these things with Peter where she might not be able to with others. Because it was tied so intricately with the nature of being Romani, of the constantly moving and closing off from outsiders.
“Yes, that.” Because it wasn’t just thoughts about romantic things even if the dreams left questions and everything people said or inferred. Just the notion of making connections and friendships. Grantaire had usually been where Esmeralda would ‘set up’ while in Paris, then there was Kitty. But beyond them, her connections were the Kumpania and Destiny and Peter, both of whom were Romani and thus understood what that meant.
Yes, in the dreams there was Phoebus, which had played out differently in each set, yet those were just dreams and the feelings for him had never really crossed over as she saw other people discuss. It was like watching something that she’d never take part in.
“It’s for them and not me. I flirt because I get tips. But it’s never been something that seemed would actually happen for me. Not the way people talk about it.” Because when people had told her they had crushes on her, she had never felt the same. Just guilty that she didn’t return those feelings because it upset or hurt them even if she couldn’t control her feelings.
There was a nod. He didn’t know what to think now, but he also didn’t think that anything like the dreams would happen. He didn’t believe that he’d have a friend like Roman or even anything like Letha and they weren’t really anything. It was just that he’d started thinking that it was possible, which he’d never really considered before.
Yes, he was currently holding hands with Esmeralda, but that didn’t really mean anything. Sometimes people just liked holding hands or maybe she had somewhere in particular to show him still. He didn’t know. From how she talked, anyway, he was pretty sure it didn’t mean anything.
“I just flirt to flirt, really. I mean, sometimes a girl’s attractive and all, but there’s never anything real because I’m never really in one place at one time. I’ve never really had a friend to speak of either. I’m not really sure what to do with them. Especially since some people around places already know each other and have all these inside jokes and shit and I just have wacky stories about my grandpa Nicolae.”
Esmeralda herself wasn’t really aware of the fact that they were holding hands or what it might mean. All she knew was that in the past few weeks, with everything going on in her head and the things she was reevaluating and priorities, that right now was the quietest her mind had been in a long time, where she could at least put thoughts into some form of words that would make sense. There was meaning in it, she just didn’t know what that meaning was.
Still, they did finally come to the location she had mentioned, where she often went when even the walls of the Court felt like they were stifling her just as Notre Dame and the Bastille had in her dreams. Dreams where things like relationships and friendships were rare. She was good at losing friends, or with Phoebus where it was either a moment in a tavern and then their upcoming execution, or marriage that was still tinged with preconceptions, or manipulation and more death. So as they got to the top of the hill where there was nothing but grass and trees, Esmeralda sat down.
“Well we seem to be doing alright by all counts and understand one another.” Whatever it was they were. “But I know what you mean. Even those I speak to and consider friend, some things…. Like just how I view life and the world, the need to just let things go and keeping going… treated as if somehow I’m wrong even if that is not the intent. Never really understanding...”
Once Esmeralda sat, Peter sat. It was more due to the fact that she was holding his hand than because he’d meant to sit. It was easy to go, however. He relaxed easily, arm propped on top of his knee. “Well, we are sort of the same people.” Well, not exactly the same, but they understood each other’s views anyway. They ran in the same crowd and they knew what it meant to be them. It took less explaining.
“Yeah. I get it. Sometimes you have to cut and run and people outside might not get it.” He had a feeling Roman wouldn’t understand in the slightest if he just left without saying anything. He wasn’t sure anyone besides Esmeralda would care if he disappeared. Not that he wouldn’t tell her he was going, but it didn’t call for much explanation. He lightly bumped her shoulder with his own. “Well, there’s nothing wrong with you or how you see things. It is what it is. We’re Romani. What they know and feel is normal isn’t the same shit we grew up with. Now I’m not saying their shit’s wrong either, but it’s not us. It’s on them if they don’t want to get it through their heads.”
“More or less.” She understood what Peter meant at any rate. Because obviously their lives were different and they weren’t the same. But they did have that understanding that very few did because they understood certain parts of their lives that only fellow Romani could understand.
Esmeralda didn’t even know why it had bothered her. She had went on with her life, of course, it was who Esmeralda was and she was comfortable with who she was because she was confident in who she was. But it was still...frustrating in a way. She was able to brush it off, but it did lead to miscommunication and confusion.
Smiling some at the comment after he bumped her shoulder, Esmeralda just shifted and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Well that’s a relief since I’m not changing. But exactly. They have their own issues, just different from what we’re used to. It may make more sense for them to feel you should have more solid footing or whatever to help others when I feel I can help just as I am, with no need to focus on my own problems.”
“I’d be a little concerned if you changed suddenly.” If she got to be less optimistic and more...like him. He wasn’t really so optimistic. Things usually always got worse than they were before and he was fine with that knowledge. Most of the time. The rest of the time, he really wished things got better. He just didn’t have it in him to believe it would. Especially not in the dreams. He left optimism to Esmeralda.
“If we had to have our shit together to help others, no one would be able to help anyone else. We’d all be fucked.” Not that he helped that much. Well...he helped some. There just weren’t that many dead people ripped apart by Vargulfs in the real world for him to try to figure out. He just had his own shit to figure out.
It was part of who she was, really. No matter how much got thrown at Esmeralda or how much she was continually screwed over, she somehow managed to come out of it and remain hopeful. There were moments where she doubted, where she would tell Grantaire he had won but they all knew that those moments were temporary and that she would somehow regain that hope and optimism even if she didn’t feel strong in the moment.
“Right? I don’t know. Maybe it is because I am so used to nothing being permanent that I don’t see it as mattering when I try to help, that ‘being in a better place so I can help more’ just doesn’t have the same meaning as for those who are more used to it.”
If she had needed things to remain stable and permanent to help others, or being a better position to help people, well… then she’d never help people or worry because permanence was only something of a recent development.
“It’s a matter of experience.” He shrugged again. “This is why I leave all the helping to you. People are a pain in the ass.” He let his eyes rest for a moment on the sky before sighing and looking back at Esmeralda.
“This guy I was talking to said there are more werewolves. Or at least more than me. I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but apparently he has a friend that’s a werewolf.” Peter didn’t really know what to make of other werewolves. Were they like him? Did he really want to know? God, were they going to have to play wolf pack? Then again, he was aware that he felt lonely without really knowing why. He didn’t know if it was Destiny, Roman, or a general lack of “belonging” which he’d discovered in the dreams. Shelley, Roman, and Letha were like having a pack. They were friends.
He was quiet for a long moment before he said, “I think I miss that asshole.” He didn’t clarify who he meant. He had a feeling Esmeralda would follow.
Well, she couldn’t exactly deny that people were a pain in the ass. Esmeralda just was used to dealing with them and always looked for the best in them. Which admittedly might one day get her killed, but that was neither here nor there, so instead she just nodded.
“I know I’ve seen it brought up by others, but if the people who mentioned them are werewolves or are still around… that I don’t know.” It was something she wished she could help with, and yet this was something that was beyond even Esmeralda’s ability to help with in finding other werewolves. She was nothing more than human. An outcast, but in a different way.
There wasn’t much need to qualify who Peter was talking about. He’d mentioned Roman enough times and even as he was side eying him in the dreams for insulting Destiny and whatever it was that was going on with Roman’s cousin… he’d said they’d been friends.
“I don’t think that’s so strange. Even if you don’t know them here, you can still feel the pull…” She knew she missed Quasimodo and Phoebus in their own way. Not the exact feelings that had been in the dreams, especially with the slight differences between each set, but just their presence even if they hadn’t known each other all that long (except the set where she got married).
Peter missed the feeling of friendship that came with Roman. The feeling that he had not had in a long time. He had it here, of course, with Destiny and Esmeralda. Even to an extent with Grantaire. Though, he wasn’t sure exactly what to call their relationship for the most part. It didn’t really matter.
“Yeah. He’s a fucking asshole, but he’s never treated me like a freak. Not exactly anyway. I mean, he’s a bit of a voyeur, I guess, but that’s not the worst reaction he could have had.” He could have told everyone about him, but he hadn’t. “He hasn’t told people about me or tried to turn me in or have me studied like some lab rat.” After a moment Peter turned to look at Esmeralda. “You’re welcome to come borrow the hammock tonight if you need to get away from his holy idiocy. It’s pretty much open for you to use whenever.”
“Which is important.” It was all too easy for people to judge those who were different and treat them as such, making their lives all the more difficult or isolated. So as much as she sometimes felt like she wanted to fight this person that she didn’t know and might never know, the fact he hadn’t turned Peter in also meant a lot, dreams or not.
As Peter mentioned the hammock, Esmeralda nodded.
“I will probably take you up on that.” She knew that it was an open invitation, she just tried not to abuse it too much as it wasn’t always bad in terms of Gringoire or Madellaine. That night had just been especially ridiculous and getting away for a bit would be good for everyone.
He smiled a little, “Good. Mom’s already aware, so she won’t find strangers in the hammock surprising or anything.” She’d also been giving him strange looks, but he didn’t really worry about that too much. He had a feeling it was a mom thing. Or maybe it was just a Lynda thing. “Just try not to almost die this time.”
“Well that’s a relief.” Not like Esmeralda couldn’t just talk her way out of it if she had to, but one less thing to worry about. She did laugh hollowly at the trying not to die comment. “I’ll do my best.”