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Tweak says, "I have a parrot kitten."

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ (weaponizing) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2017-05-24 19:12:00

Entry tags:

!complete, dan smith, gamora

Who: Dan Smith & Gamora
What: Dan comes over for a visit (and some bacon-wrapped pineapple), Gamora inquires about his unique marital situation
When: Recent!
Where: Gamora's apartment
Rating/Warnings: Eh, pretty low
Status: Complete

The year was barely half over and it had already been the weirdest year Dan Smith had ever had in his entire life. Dan really should have known the moment the man who looked exactly like Yukon Cornelius sauntered into his bar and ordered -- of all things -- goddamn pea soup. Since then things had gone from weird to even weirder. He couldn’t blame it all on whatever it was that Orange County did, either -- although it took the lion’s share. He’d gone to Vegas with the intent of blowing off some steam and had come back married, of all goddamn things. He’d considered himself lucky the fire cracker he’d accidentally gotten married to had been as eager as he was to end the marriage as quickly as the good State of California would let them.

Then Carolina had gotten her call back orders. The Marines, apparently, weren’t quite finished with her yet. Dan didn’t know much about her service. Well, actually, he didn’t know anything about it. Dan had gotten the distinct impressions that even if she wanted to tell him, she would not have been able to. So it had come as a huge shock when Carolina had dropped the bombshell that she actually wanted to stay married, even after he had finally admitted to her that he was a hitman. Carolina was a woman who continually surprised him.

Their continued marriage did not change anything. Dan still lived in his little apartment above his bar. He still took his jobs (though now with the threat of the FBI looking into him as Carolina’s husband, he had to be extra careful), he still drank, he still smoked, and he still met with beautiful women. And this particular evening with one beautifully dangerous woman, whose green skin, in Dan’s opinion, only made her more alluring.

That rather verdant skin was on display too, meaning, Gamora didn’t bother to use her enchanted necklace (glamour, illusion, whatever the magic people officially called it) in her own home. She wore workout pants and one of Peter’s t-shirts (this one was Journey), which hung loosely on her, her hair pulled up into a ponytail. It wasn’t often that she entertained company, but she wanted to make it nice - you know, be a proper host?

There were recipes for snacks and things she hadn’t seen since leaving Hawaii, but she busted them out from her dusty files and did her culinary best - pineapple wrapped with bacon, cheesecake salad (sounded strange, but it was mostly tropical fruit with a sweet sort of filling), tailgate sandwiches which was just hot ham and cheese on King’s hawaiian rolls (the secrets to making it good some spice, and butter and cream cheese - anything creamy was big in the region, apparently). Her minibar was stocked with all sorts of selections as well.

She hadn’t seen Dan in a couple weeks, not since she’d woken up anew. And Gamora was used to it now, looking into the mirror and seeing this high-cheekboned alien staring back at her, facial markings and all. It was nice to have friends who didn’t mind it so much either.

Taking the baking sheet of bacon-wrapped treats from the oven, she set it down and removed her pot holders so she could go answer the door when she heard the knock. The smell of something quite homey (her apartment? Actually homey? It was a damn miracle) wafted out when she greeted her company. “Come inside, I should have everything all set.”

The smell of homemade food wafted out of the door when Gamora answered and tickled Dan’s nose in that pleasant way food can sometimes. It surprised him really. What was with the women he knew constantly surprising him every time he turned around? Certainly kept him on his toes. He needed that. Kept him from getting soft and relaxed.

“Good evenin’, darlin,” he said smiled at Gamora when she answered the door. The smile turned into a teasing smirk, “Ya’ve been bakin’.” The first time he met Gamora, he never would have thought her to be one to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Then again, no one ever pegged him as a cook and he wasn’t a half bad one at that, even if he couldn’t be bothered to cook his own meals 90% of the time. “Smells good.” Fuck, her whole apartment smelled delicious as he walked inside. Was that bacon in the air? Oooh, he was putty in her hands now.

He set the drinks he had brought with him down and shrugged out of his leather jacket. Shoulder holster and gun had been left at home -- he wasn’t on a job this time. He did have his favorite gun within grabbing distance, but safely secured in a holster just behind his hip. He felt naked otherwise. He was dressed much the same as he always was, dark blue slacks and a simple white button down shirt, of which he started to roll up the sleeves once his jacket was off. A simple look, maybe, but classic and utterly fail proof.

“Sometimes I bake, or actually cook. For important people,” Gamora smirked in amusement, showing Dan inside. That was indeed bacon, a fair number of pig sacrifices had been made - she was a big fan of the salty meat loaded with nitrates, and many of her companions were as well.

She went into the kitchen, which had a view into her living room - he’d seen it before, with the rather boho, tribal feel she had to her decor. These delicious snacks would soon be all theirs, once she plated everything. “What can I get you do drink? And have a seat. I feel as if you have a lot to catch me up on.”

Wasn’t he the one who was married? Interesting things had happened lately.

Important people. Weelll, then. “I’m flattered,” he said. “I brought us a nice cider to share,” he made a gesture to the six back of fancy looking cider he’d snagged. Dan wasn’t picky about the alcohol he consumed, but some people were. And someone like Gamora wouldn’t drink just anything and he wouldn’t insult her by getting anything cheap and weak. “Got some cinnemon whiskey too, if ye fancy.” Fireball and cider was an amazing concoction and god bless the bar tender who came up with the idea.

Dan made himself comfortable on the couch relaxing amongst Gamora’s unique and tasteful decorating. “I do got some news t’ share,” he said. “Remember ‘ow I tol’ ya I accidentally got married in Vegas back in February? Kinda looks like now I’m gonna stay that way fer the foreseeable future.” Life could be fucking strange sometimes.

Cider, excellent. It was one of Gamora’s favorites. She immediately assessed the offerings - and grinned, of course, because that was a good choice. They could just drink these straight as well, no need for fancy things like glasses. Then she brought the good eats she’d prepared into the living room, arranging everything on the coffee table. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d just had a friend over to ‘hang out’ or whatever the colloquial phrase was - to actually talk, and relax.

She didn’t do a lot of relaxing, but she was trying to be better about that.

“I remember,” she lifted an eyebrow pointedly - or rather, where her brows would be. The Zen-Whoberi were not only green, but where on humans there were eyebrows, Gamora’s kind had etchings - indentations, symbols, all carved into her emerald skin. Plus cheekbones that were unnaturally sharp, and that could cut you if you weren’t careful. “What made you decide to stay married? I thought it wasn’t exactly your thing.”

“It’s still not,” Dan answered. “He reached for one of those bottles, and feeling the same as Gamora about glasses, opened one before handing it to her. He opened one for himself as well, before making a move on the bacon wrapped awesome she had prepared. He’d never had cheesecake salad before, but it looked amazing. Jewels of fruit buried in mounds of cheesecake. And who didn’t like cheesecake? Dan had a difficult choice between what he wanted to eat first. Bacon won.

“She got recalled back inta active service,” Dan went on before he popped a pineapple swathed in bacon into his mouth. It was another moment of savoring the sweet and savoiry mix before he was able to continue. “And she let me know that because I’m ‘er husband, the feds are gonna wanna take a look at me because she’s got some crazy security clearance or some such.”

Dan glanced at Gamora. Until recently, she was the only one who knew what Dan really did. The words had never been exchanged between them, but they never needed to be. If she had been so inclined, she probably would caught him right in the middle of the act of capping some poor S.O.B. a couple of floors below. If anyone could understand why having the FBI or the Marines in his business was a problem, Gamora could.

“But wouldn’t that mean you would want to get out of the marriage?” she asked, taking a hot ham and cheese and biting into it. It basically melted in her mouth, and she had to pat herself on the back for remembering these recipes, tidbits from her youth - washed down with a swig of cider, and it was the perfect combination. “I’m sorry if that’s a stupid question, but - I just would assume being looked into and interviewed by the feds because of a wedding deal that happened in Vegas would be the last thing you need.”

Because, yes, Gamora did know what Dan did for a living. That the Double Tap wasn’t his only job - that what he really did to pay the bills could be considered frowned upon by those in law enforcement. Since it was pretty much illegal; the FBI was a threat to all that. And he was inviting it further? Something more must be at play.

“At this point it doesn’t matter,” Dan explained. “California law requires us t’ be married no less than six months before we kin file fer divorce. We a’ready got the paperwork goin’, but nothin’ would be final until after August at the earliest. By then she’d already ‘ave gotten ‘er orders. So I’m gonna be investigated regardless.”

And no, Dan was not happy about that. Gamora was absolutely right, this was the absolute last thing he needed, but there was also absolutely nothing he could do about it. He had thought about going to ground. Just packing up what essentials he needed and disappearing for a little while. He had done it before. It was actually surprisingly simple and easy to do, if you knew how. The problem was that even if he did decide to disappear, that would not change his marital status with Carolina the Marine. He was going to be probed whether he liked it or not.

Dan did have a couple of things on his side, though. First was that he was damn good at what he did. He’d been doing it for this long and Gamora had been the first person to stumble on his secret and Dan wasn’t entirely convinced that had been on accident either. He didn’t suspect her of looking to expose him. Fuck no. There was something else at work. That same something that made him Dream of shooting humanoid monsters every night.

The other thing Dan had on his side was, interestingly enough, Carolina. “She knows,” he said, leaning forward to dish up some of that very interesting looking salad to try. “And it’s in her best interest-” not to mention his “-that they don’t find anything.”

“Oh, so you’ve told her,” Gamora nodded. She’d set out plates and silverware (and coasters for the cider, of course - she may be a killing machine in another life but she detested rings on the furniture, okay) and began filling her own plate as well, tucking her legs up underneath her while she sat on the sofa.

Then if Dan’s wife (temporary wife? It didn’t sound all that temporary - she would bet they’d be settled and not even bother with the divorce a year from now) knew what he did and would keep his secrets was...actually a good thing. Gamora was glad for it; she didn’t want anything to happen to Dan. Like him being hauled in by the feds, or disappearing off the radar.

She had so few friends, after all.

“Doesn’t it make you feel the slightest bit....better though?” she hedged. “I mean, having someone who knows about you. That you don’t have to really hide around.”

Dan shrugged. “Yeah, I tol’ ‘er.” She hadn’t given him much of a choice. She had done her own digging on him. Found out his father had been murdered, and then for whatever reason decided to dig even further. It was as though Carolina had dug into Dan’s own soul. Whereas most people would have sprinted in the opposite direction (and straight to the nearest police station) when they saw what he had there, Carolina had not. He sort of owed her for that.

Neither had Gamora and Dan owed her for that too. Which meant answering her questions truthfully. “It probably should,” he answered, thoughtfully. He had almost let his secret life slip to Ezio a couple of weeks ago when the Italian scholar had started talking about leaving his weapons to Dan should anything happen. But that had been entirely different circumstances. Ezio was a dear friend, and Dan didn’t have very many of those either. The idea that someone had it in for him had put Dan right on that hairy edge. In the end, though, Dan had ended up keeping his yap shut.

“I didn’ mind so much when you found out,” he said with a shrug. “That ‘ole encounter went much better.” He hadn’t made Gamora strip down to her underwear in order to check for a wire for starters, though he would not have minded one bit if she had. She probably would have shot him between the eyes if he had, anyway.

Trust was a difficult thing to earn, and to keep. Especially for those who, for whatever reason, lived their lives being guarded so much of the time. Gamora understood that well - it was one of the problems in her dreams, wasn’t it? With all of the Guardians, but especially between her and Peter. It was why she wasn’t so forthcoming about her feelings - and why those feelings unnerved her so much.

“You both sound like you don’t trust easily, which can mean butting heads I guess,” she spoke thoughtfully, after taking another long swallow of cider. “But it sounds like in some weird way, this could work? Like you want to be with each other, on whatever terms you both can live with and are comfortable with. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Even if their ‘relationship’ (such as it was) happened to come about as a result of a Vegas wedding. Which was still kind of hilarious, if you asked Gamora.

Dan stared at her. He had two close friends and both of them had more or less said the same thing regarding this continued marriage. What the hell were they seeing that Dan was not? He frowned and took a long glug of his cider, nearly emptying it. “I wanna make somethin’ perfectly clear.” he said as he set the bottle down. “This be a marriage of convenience. She needs someone t’ be sure ‘er benefits go t’ her brother if somethin’ ‘appens t’ ‘er and she’s willin’ t’ turn the other way while I do what I do. We’re not movin’ in. She’s got ‘er place. I got mine. She’s still free t’ date an see ‘oover she wants and so am I.”

He did not mention the fact that he had given Carolina his Flame Ring. Ezio had already read more into that then what there was. Carolina was a marine being recalled to active duty. The world was a fucking powder keg and who knew where the higher ups were going to send her? Carolina was a capable woman, but it didn’t hurt for her to have a little added leverage. Dan’s face twisted a little more before he helped himself to another cider.

“Then if that’s what it is, I’ll believe you,” Gamora stated matter-of-factly. It just seemed odd that they were both sharing what married people shared (namely, secrets) if it was merely a marriage of convenience. However, that was just her opinion. Dan could call the union whatever he wanted to call it.

Personally, she wasn’t against marriage - but that was her. She’d already said as much to Regina, and it made Gamora think of what may be in the cards for her later on down the line. Peter seemed like he would want such a thing - marriage, a kid, a white picket fence. “But...you’re sleeping together, right?” she asked bluntly. They told each other things they didn’t tell others easily. They were physically intimate. It was all on paper. So?

“And would you go to her if you had a problem or something?” Before she could ask any more questions, however, she stuffed a piece of bacon-wrapped sweetness into her mouth. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be nosy or twist anything. I’m just curious. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, we’re sleeping together,” Dan admitted. “We probably screw ‘round more often than we actually talk. But we’re not exclusive.” That was the big distinction. Wasn’t it? Fidelity, or whatever? Carolina had offered to be faithful during the marriage, but what would have been the point? If she had remained faithful, then he would have had to as well. Why would either of them want to be faithful to someone they didn’t even love? That they barely even know?

Gamora’s second question was a little more difficult to answer and it made Dan pause in the regular consumption of the delicious food Gamora had so painstakingly prepared for them. Would he have gone to Carolina with a problem? It took him several moments to come up with an answer. “If I ‘ad a flat tire? Sure. Maybe if I needed some extra ‘elp at the bar. But I ain’t involvin’ ‘er in any o’ my other stuff. She’s got enough t’ worry ‘bout waitin’ for ‘er orders t’ come down.”

Dan realized how that sounded the moment it left his mouth and quickly amended, “an’ I don’ want ‘er in my business anymore than she already is.”

Oh, yeah, it sounded like something alright. The save at the end didn’t entirely negate the meaning of what Dan said either. “I see. A lot of husbands would not even consider what the person they’re married to worries about,” Gamora chuckled a little. But she left it at that.

“Well, no matter what happens - good luck with it,” she shifted on the couch, comfortable and warm from the buzz of the cider. It looked unassuming, but it packed a bite. That was what she enjoyed about this drink. “If she’s watching out for you, I assume nothing will come to light with the FBI investigation that you don’t want them to know.”