Hanna Marin knows what Hanna Marin means (numbtothedanger) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-05-01 16:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, hanna marin |
Who: Hanna Marin
What: Dealing with recent changes
When: 1 May 2017, morning
Where: Her room at her mom’s
Warnings: Low
Status: Narrative | Complete
Hanna still couldn’t believe this was happening. There was no A to blame, no way to fight it. It was simply a matter of Caleb’s past catching up with him. Someone from his old life had snitched (probably to get a lighter sentence) and now he was in a Pennsylvania prison while she was again back in California broken hearted. It wasn’t like she hadn’t fought it, of course not. When he’d been sent back to Pennsylvania, Hanna had dropped everything and gone back there as well, fully prepared to upend everything to stay with him. She had been ready to transfer schools and everything, but Caleb had put an end to that by breaking up with her.
Oh, she knew why he did it. It was something that they were good at, breaking up with one another in an attempt to protect the other. She had tried in the dreams when she’d been framed by A for Mona’s ‘murder’, but Caleb hadn’t let her do it, had said he’d stand by her. Yet when he was the one behind bars it was okay for him to break up with her? What the hell???
“I don’t want you giving up everything because of my mistakes.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“Well I do.”
God, it freaking hurt. There had been a lot that had gone on in those conversations when she was trying to argue that she would stay with him, even as she logically knew that it would be impossible for her to just move like it was nothing. She didn’t have the money and while her grades were good enough to transfer, there was the question of units and what would transfer over and a bunch of frustration on that front. Because it wasn’t like this was an obvious set up, and Hanna couldn’t help but feel that Caleb was accepting it because it was from actions he had actually done in the past even as he had been running from it when he first showed up.
Whatever the reason, eventually he had won out on the argument and Hanna was back in Orange County and living with her mom again. Her mom had been understanding, had let her bring Techno with her when she moved back home as it wasn’t like she could keep up the payments on the condo the two had moved into, while her dad had made some snide comments about the matter, about how he had known Caleb was no good. After all, hadn’t she been kidnapped before because of his past?
She had yet to tell her friends, she couldn’t bring herself to because that would make it a bit too real because Hanna still wanted to believe that this was all some horrible nightmare. She was going to have to eventually because it wasn’t like she could keep avoiding the network or avoiding messages and school. Her work was piling up at a time when it was more and more stressful. Yet all she wanted to do was lay in bed and listen to every sad song she had ever downloaded.
It wasn’t fair. She should have known though, if her dreams had shown her anything, it was that things never remained good. The moment you got comfortable, some bullshit would come up and ruin it all.
Wiping at the tears that had fallen yet again, Hanna pushed herself up and went to the mirror to stare at her reflection. She could make it appear like she was fine as she was going to force herself to go back to school today. But her heart wasn’t in it, though Hanna was also good at throwing herself into projects to ignore the pain, which was the next phase that she needed to enter. It would be wrong of her to let this keep her down given the reason Caleb had broken up with her. So for him, she was going to force herself to move on and stop being a depressed mess locked away in her room.