InsaneJournal

"It'd be better if they were naked."
Who: McCoy and Chapel
What: Adventures in MMOs - part one!
Where: their seperate apartments + online
When: Today
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13



Christine had just gotten home with two Taco Bell burritos (badly pronounced at the drive thru window no less) and booted up her computer, before she dialed Leo's number. She was psyched to get started with the referral that Kitty had sent to them, and was already logged in and rolling up a male blood elf, with dark hair and pale skin. Deee-lish! Sekzmuffin the Blood Elf liiiiives!

"Hey." McCoy was settling down with some lovely and core clogging chick-fil-a (not open on Sundays) of his own. "We ready to get started, Christine?" he asked her, studying the game screen he'd entered his account info into. "Gotta admit, I like the music."

"Oh hey, and yeah the music's good. I've rolled up a blood elf. Just look for Sex-muffin," she said, naming the server and spelling it out for him. Then it occured to her while she was sipping soda through a straw - yes health professionals ate really crappy food sometimes - that doing this over the phone the whole time might be a bad idea. She grabbed her headset she'd just bought for the ocassion and tried to plug it in while setting her cup of soda aside, "Should we use the vent?"

Yes, to her, it is 'the vent.' With a 'the' in front of it. Mmmhm.

"Sex-Muffin?" McCoy repeated, choking on his waffle fries, which could be heard over the line clearly. "Sex Muff....Oh my god, you can't be serious. ...Uh yeah let's go ahead and do that then. The Vent it is."

"Well you should see him, he's pretty hot, Leo," she confessed and then prattled off the vent info. "I paid for a month just to try it out, so we should be able to work this thing out, without killing eachother. I think it looks pretty easy so far? I rolled up a priest. So I can give you some heals. Anyway, I'll hang up and log into the vent. If you have any probs, just call back, okay?"

Christine didn't wait for an answer but just hung up with an inner squeak and logged into the vent and waited, with her headset on!

McCoy got himself signed up for the Vent and then went in and pulled up the blood elf options as he considered carefully. "What would you think about a Paladin?" he suggested casually. "Healing on the side, but enough damage that I can support you until you learn the awesome priestly spells?" he said into the vent. "Okay now, a name. A name...For the life of me, I'm really not sure."

"I think that would suit you very well, Leo," Christine answered into the mic, diplomatically, because it seemed like it would make the most sense. "Pimpmaster?"

Christine was on a theme today. Damn you, truth serum.

"Pimpmaster?" McCoy snickered and tried that. "Hmm...Not letting me use it. Someone's either got it or they're cracking down on names already." And he could be heard sighing over the vent. "Pimpmister?...Oh Yees there we go!" Success!

"Drat. Oh, that's good! All right, you should see me, here, in the male elf thing by this sweepy broom. Can't miss me. Isn't he hot, for a cartoon?" Christine was in love. She was also hitting the spacebar so Sekzmuffin was jumping up and down a lot. Whee!

"He's jumping." McCoy's own elf was redhaired with long luxious locks drfiting to his shoulders or therabouts, and toting a sorry looking sword. "Makes his ass look nice." Hey, what the hell, it was true. "I'd do him, yeah" he agreed approaching. "Whoa magic broom. Where's Mickey Mouse then?"

"...oh my, he's pretty hot too," Christine said with the sort of exhale that was going to make playing impossible if it got anymore dreamy sounding than that. "I have no idea, I wasn't looking at the brooooom."

Christine's eyes were on elf ass.

"Guess not." McCoy chucked at that. "Pretty hard to look at brooms, considering. But it is really damn pretty here." he looked at all of the gold buildings and the spires and was pretty positive that they had made the right racial selection here.

Oh the place was gorgeous, before she noticed her toon, and then it was all over from there. In fact, she wasn't even looking where the quest log was telling her to go, and barely skim-read through the actual text. Christine was veering Seksmuffin off toward where some floating critters are. No way she was looking where she was going.

"It's really pretty," she said with the sort of glassy-eyed stare that spoke volumes of what she was staring at, instead.

"So. Should we kill things now?" McCoy wondered, following after her. "Like the floating thingies there? They look killable, right? Oh man look at THIS, Christine." He was in the water and going deeper. This is awesom...Look I'm SWIMMING."

"I seeeee that," Christine said, before sucking on the soda straw until it sputtered, a sign she'd ran dry. It was okay, she'd stocked up on cans of rootbeer and cracked one open. The straw went in the can instead and she followed him in because...hello...hot men elves? That's what it was all about. "Don't you hog all the water, Leo."

Somehow Seksmuffin ended up without the starter clothes on, after he hit the water.

Christine could probably be heard whispering 'oh. muh. gawd.' under her breath over vent, too. Not helping.

"You can DO That?" McCoy asked bouncing a little in his chair as he took a sip of the mostly rum he'd poured into his coke when he'd gotten home from picking up the chicken. "How?" Because he wanted to try it too. "Wait, is that underwear? Isn't that an anachronism? It'd be better if they were naked."

"I can't take off more clothes than this," Christine moaned, like it was downright tragic. "That's unfair! I just threw the clothes out of the equipment window anyway I think it said something at me but this is so worth it."

Yes, she just destroyed her starter armor, but it's not like it made that big of a difference anyway.

"Should we kill some things? I have this smite thing and a tiny heal, looks like." She took her dripping hot male blood elf out of the water by moving her fingers over the keys, and looked around with the camera to see if there was anything to kill. "Is that a cat? I don't know if I want to kill that."

"It doesn't have the killing things label on it." McCoy noted, "Maybe we're supposed to kill it for food, but I don't like the idea of elves eating cats. Hey what about that blobby lightning thing back there?"

"There's a killing things label?" Oh, this was doomed to fail. Because Christine was already guiding her toon over to the blobby lightning thing, misfired, and smited a cat. Seksmuffin stood there while the half-dead oversized cat type thing began to eat him. "Oh, whoops! Wait, what am I supposed to do? WHAT DO I DO?"

Self-heal! Self-heal! Heals too tiny! Christine just about spilled her soda over the keyboard, when one of her hands flailed a little. Nooo, his hot ass must be saved!

"It's red I think." McCoy squinted at the..."Oh SHIT, Hang on, I think this is the right button." he fumbled for a few minutes with his laptop mouse, eventually hitting the right button that would let him select the attack in his control bar. "Okay so. Attack. That'd be the sword..." Then he got started clicking it, but nothing happened. "I don't get it, I'm trying...Wait, do I have to click the animal? But then I have to get NEAR it."

Seksmuffin laid down and didn't get up.

"Nooooo, sex-muffin!" Christine sounded vaguely horrified. "Why'd everything get greyed out and dreary? Am I dead now?"

"PimpMister!" McCoy cried a second later, and then..."Whoa it's all BLURRY here. What the hell we're dead? Did we lose?"

"I'm a ghost!" Christine exclaimed a little too happily, because now it was all filmy and romantic looking AND elf man in his undies. "I think we lost. Maybe? I'm not sure. He's so hot and romantic looking, all black and white movie like this."

Yes, Christine was taking screenshots. From all angles. She figured that out, first thing.

"Maybe we lost because we were kind of watching sex-muffin." McCoy commented. "Well and Pimp Mister but I think sex muffin is hotter and has a better ass. Anyway, point is we probably shouldn't play hot male elves if they're gonna distract us, right? I mean pretty to look at and all, but..."

"You think...maybe we shouldn't play with the Blood Elves?" She might have sounded like there was the barest tiniest trace of a wibble in her voice, deep down. "Really? But yours is hot too."

Then she realized that maybe he was right. Her eyes were sort of glued and she had been so good about not being a pervert for guys who looked like they should have pointy-ears lately. Which was why she pointed out, like a woman who'd been condemned to death by firing squad, "I think you're right. Maybe I should try a Draenei female like that Kitty girl suggested."

"Dranei....they're like space goats, right?" McCoy asked. "The guys are pretty ugly so why don't I make a girl too? And this way we can have horns." he sounded excited about that idea. "AND they're more like good guys. I know, I know, Kitty said there weren't sides but..."

"Yes, I think so. And she did say they did the least bad stuff, so..let's face it, alliance sounds nicer than horde does, anyway." And right there, Christine had justified their side-flipping. She was already logging out. "She said too that she plays more on the alliance side so maybe it would be better, too? I'm not sure but let's try girl space goats. I know how much you like goats." Bwahaha!

"Plus the hoard has all those creepy characters." McCoy shook his head. "I mean, sorry but I'd be freaked out if we wound up in a guild with ORCS or something and had to be teammates. Creepy mohawked bastards." he muttered, shaking his head and then he started choking again. "Just for that I'm gonna call her Leo'sDarlin'. "

"They do seem a little brutal," Christine admitted while nodding along with his assesment of the orcs. She'd already rolled up a paleish blue drae female with curvy little horns and a whiteish coifed hairdo that was upswept and had a ponytail. Perfect priestess fodder! "You do that. I can't think of a good girl name though. I don't want to name her hobag or anything."

Said as she was entering in 'hoebagg' and seeing the name was available.

"Spoke too soon," Christine said with an eyedart and a little laugh.

Heals by Hoebagg. They were happening.

McCoy went with the darker blue, almost black for his space goat, and the headband piece for her hair, which he decided should be black. And then he was picking out horns, straightish ones this time. Once he got past the introduction screen, McCoy looked around for what he thought might be Christine, and then he burst out laughing. "Oh dear GOD Christine, you're amazing."

"I learned it by watching you," she said teasingly. "Wait!" Just for added effect, she hit the forward-slash dance emote. Hoebagglicious.

"Oh my god, that commercial." McCoy was in hysterics now. "The kid with his little drug stash. Now our goats will forever be associated with that." Aheh. "So. We ready to go kick some ass now? ...And I guess we're killing bugs?"

"I think so!" And now, at least, she was reading the quest text and paying attention. The ears though, smaller and yet still pointy, really were adorable, but this? This she could handle. "Lead the way, you sexy goat slut. I think I know that this one is the hurt skill and the other one is the healy skill. So I'll heal you first and hurt things between."

Teamwork, go!

"Sounds good." McCoy nodded. "I'll go ahead and weaken them for you so you can crit them when it's your turn, sound good?" Teamwork was awesome. "Also, I totally think our sexy goats are sisters or something. At least cousins."

"Sounds great. And sure, they can be. It's one of those arr-pee servers after all. So we can just tell everyone we're sisters and they'd never know better, because it's the internet." She was so down with that. While eating potato chips. Over vent. Crunch crunch. "Oh! I read we can get elephants to ride around on with these, too. How bad do I want an elephant? Pretty bad."

"Elephants? Oh that's amazing. Let's go for it. All the way." McCoy started hitting bugs with his hammer quickly. "Oh wow, this is relaxing, kind of. Should have started years ago."

She was healing whenever necessary and loving it. It wasn't even stressing her out, even if he grabbed another add on top of the mob he was already fighting. In fact, she sounded totally relaxed, too. "Oh, you have got to try the healing too it's really nice. And look at you killing them all. You stud."

"You mean babe." McCoy made his character start dancing, since he'd heard they did that amd he'd worked out the actions panel by now. "Oh wow check THIS out. See? I'm showing off."

"Is there a clap emote?" Oh yes, there was, and he was getting clapped at. "I'm a master emoter, you show off." And then she hit forward-slash joke and cracked up at the 'Single Draenei female seeks blacksmith with grinding wheel to take care of me and my gorgeous hooves.'

McCoy read the joke, snorted and made his own draenei clap too. Then he glanced at the quest marker things. "Hey if we turn this in, we get rewards. And then I think we have to go to the crash site thing..."

"Interested, let's do that." Sure it was relaxing but she was excited too at the same time and eager to get some levels under their belt. "I guess I get a lot better heals when we level. This isn't that hard at all. Why did we never do this before?"

Just wait until any male night elves were randomly grouped with them via dungeon finder. Group wipes? Going to happen.

"Good question." McCoy said, as they moved along. "This has to be a thing from now on. I mean think what we can do in this game. It'd be like that episoe of South Park with the epic sword and the gaming."

"All right but if you call your mom in so you can take a dump while you're gaming, I'm going to have to draw the line. Last thing I want to hear is you grunting over the vent," Christine said, following the whole while, and actually focused now. Miracles!

"What about grunting cause I'm turned on by the space goats?" McCoy teased, letting out an unattractive obviously fake one. "Will that do?"

"Oh you're so gross," she said while laughing. "If you do that, then I might have to fake one, like that deli scene in that one movie whenever Sally did something to Harry or something." She then let out a long faked moan just for comic effect.

It sounded somewhat painful and not that sexy. Srsly.

"Sexy." McCoy observed, with a long low whistle over the vent. "Keep that up, they'll be faling in line in no time flat."

"I sound like it burns when I pee. That was really not as sexy as it could be." She'd faked a few times, and it was more convincing. What? Some guys didn't know what to DO. "Maybe we can lure some poor unsuspecting geeks to grouping with us and then we can scare them into giving us some loot."

"Some kind of over the top n00b" McCoy agreed, looking around for the lower level characters that they would need to do this. "Though it's too bad you can't steal things while they're asleep. I could have seen that working easily." Grin.

"Too bad we can't stab them, you mean, and take their pants and run off," was Christine's sage response, as she spun her goat girl in place, looking for a target. "Standing here together, it's like we're good and evil. Or salt and pepper shakers."

"You're vicious." McCoy grinned, proud of this new side to Christine. "I like it. It's the perfect thing for a priest."

"I'd say sorry as we were running away?" See? She just made it better by apologizing. "That seems like what a priest would do. Like you're much better, paladin with boobs? You probably wouldn't even say sorry at all."

She imagined he'd just hit the forward-slash rude emote as they ran off.

That remark? Made McCoy snort rum and soda through his nose. "I might say sorry." he observed. "I mean if they deserve..." And he was laughing too much to keep on going just now. "I love the world of warcraft." He managed, between snorts that just wouldn't stop. This had already been the best game ever and they still had more to go.