welsh_shadow (welsh_shadow) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-04-05 13:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, tessa gray, will herondale |
Who: Will and Tessa
When: Early March (Backdated)
Where: Much Ado About Books
What: Dream death
Rating/Warnings: Low/Slight talk of death
Status: Complete
“So I think I’m all caught up with you and Jem now” Will said as he walked into Tessa’s office and placed the lunch he’d got them on the table, “I figure my part is over now what with me being dead” he added, he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. He’d lived an incredible life with Tessa and their kids and obviously made many many excuses over the years to see Jem despite it being frowned upon. But he much preferred this life. All three of them together and happy.
“I’m impressed that even with a wife who didn’t age I held my own in the good looks department” he winked at her.
Tessa looked up at Will in surprise as he entered. She hadn't long had those Dreams either, and honestly she still struggled with them. They had been harrowing at the time and even now, looking back on them she struggled to think about them without the horrendous sadness overcoming her. Will coming in and being so seemingly blaze about it all was not what she had expected. A lifetime of love and happiness suddenly taken away from her and knowing that she would have to endure beyond that moment sometimes seemed interminable. “Will…” she replied quietly, looking down at the paperwork in front of her and fidgeting to keep her hands busy.
Will sighed, he wasn’t entirely as okay with it as he was coming across but he was trying not to let it get him down. After all they were just dreams no matter how real they felt. Moving to lean on the desk next to Tessa he tilted her chin up with his finger and pressed a kiss to her lips, “Sorry” he said taking her hands in his, “But I’m here now right? And you’re here and Jem is too. We’re all together”
Tessa gave him a weak smile in response. The Dreams had been troubling in a number of ways, not only that she had lived through Will’s passing, but that she also carried on. Unchanged. “And for that I am thankful every morning when I wake up and see your beautiful faces, but...it’s not just that. I…” she swallowed and licked her lips as she thought about what she as going to say. “In the Dreams...I don’t age. I’m immortal and I...I’m worried that it is going to be the same here. That I am going to watch you and Jem grow old and...and pass on while I stay the same, for eternity. On my own,” she admitted, tears pooling in her eyes as she looked up at him earnestly. “I don’t want to have to live through that and spend the rest of my life alone bearing that grief,” she told him.
Will pulled Tessa up and into a hug before taking her seat and pulling her onto his lap, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Pressing soft kisses to her hair and temple he said softly, “We’ll work something out. Maybe there’s a way to tell if you are and if so maybe there’s a way to stop it or share it with us or something. You won’t be alone, I promise. We won’t let that happen” he looked at her sincerely, “We’ll talk to Magnus, he’ll know. I won’t let you be alone Tessa” he gently pressed his lips to hers sealing the promise he was making. He’d find a way to keep it no matter what.
Tessa let herself be pulled into Will’s embrace, buried her face against his neck and wrapped her arms around his neck as he spoke. She returned his kiss, pressing her hand to the side of his face as she did before pulling away. “I just can’t bear the thought of not having you both with me. Of living with the weight of that grief. I don’t know how I’d cope,” she told him, stroking his cheek with her thumb as she ran her eyes over his face. “I hope there’s a way. I think talking to Magnus is a good idea though, if there’s anyone who might understand my situation, it’ll be him,” she agreed, pressing another kiss to his lips.
Will held her close, stroking her back and murmuring reassurances when he felt they were needed. “If anybody can help it’s Magnus, I’ll find a way to stay with you for as long as I possibly can love” he rested his forehead against hers when they parted. Hoping his closeness would help give her some reassurance, he didn’t want her to be worrying about this all the time.
Eyes closed, Tessa smiled at how easily he made her feel safe. With her forehead still resting against his, she nuzzled her nose against his and let him take care of her for a short while. “Thank you,” she murmured softly, thumb still stroking the skin of his cheek. She had a feeling that there was nothing to be done about it, but she would keep that to herself and explore any options available to her. “Sorry, I just...I can’t joke about that sort of thing. Not yet. Maybe not ever,” she told him quietly.
“Anytime” he whispered hands still making soothing shapes on her back and side. “”No, I know. I’m sorry, you know what I’m like. If I make it a joke then it won’t hurt us and I don’t have to think about it” Tessa knew that, knew Will almost as well as he knew himself but he should have known her better. Thought about how it was affecting her before letting his automatic defences talk for him.
“It's ok, we both have ways of coping with it, they both have their merits and their demerits,” Tessa smiled at him, gently stroking her fingers through his hair. “We just need to...talk about it I guess. I can’t imagine it's healthy to stay silent over these sorts of things, but I also don't want to dwell on it, “ she pulled back slightly to look at him. “I'll talk to Magnus and see if anyone else has any ideas but...I want to savour every moment I have with you and Jem, does that make sense?”
“Yeah I know. Open up and talk about feelings, I’ll try. For you” Will told her, pressing a kiss to her lips. “Of course it does, I want to savour every moment with you both too. I love you Tessa” he told her honestly, those feelings coming easily.
Tessa smiled down at him, her hand cupping his cheek again and thumb brushing against his skin. “I love you too,” she told him sincerely before leaning in to slowly kiss him again. She didn't know how their lives would end up, but she knew that as long as she had Will and Jem she couldn't go far wrong.