Who: Leon & Revy What: Vacation time where they almost say they more than like each other When: Middle of February Where: Hawaii~ Rating/Warnings: Language but that's it Status: Complete!
Hawaii.
What the fuck.
Revy had never been. Nicest vacation place she’d ever visited was probably one of the beaches back in the pit of metaphysical bullshit they called home, but she’d never been somewhere that could fit the definition of paradise. Waters where she could see the bottom was actually fuckin’ boggling - the pollution was minimal or barely even existent, and she was actually mindful of where she put out her cigarettes because she didn’t want to cock up how, uh.
Nice everything looked?
It was relaxing, at least for her, sipping straight rum from a carved out pineapple - added that nice citrus flavor, too, keep all the alcohol coming in, the tab’s on Leon. Mostly. With the sun a constant presence beating down on them, heat all around, she dressed lightly. Or barely, with a bikini-top, shorts (unzipped like always but she had a bikini bottom, no twat showing you fucking pervs), and sunglasses.
Sluuuuuuuurp. “Am I the only one questioning the food here?” she muttered, looking through a pamphlet of native cuisine, toes in the white sand, hugging the pineapple vessel of amazing against her plentiful bosom. “Have you ever eaten octopus?”
Leon couldn’t believe how beautiful Hawaii was. Oh sure, he’d heard about the lush greens and the crystalline waters, but he lived in Southern California and he honestly didn’t think it would be that much better.
That was, of course, before he got there. Now all he wanted to do was recline in his beach chair, the sun beating down on his scarred skin, wearing nothing but his American flag trunks and a pair of sunglasses. This is the kind of trip he needed. Something lazy, where no one was likely to end up dead, and where he wasn’t likely to run into a fucking gremlin or a troll or whatever the hell was going on in the OC right now. He blindly reached for his own pineapple, filled with a daiquiri - normally he wouldn’t drink the fruity drinks he loved so much in front of someone else, but dammit, he was on vacation - and took a long drink from it.
“Once,” he said, frowning into his pineapple. “It’s rubbery as shit. Like chewing a fucking shoe. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely going to eat an entire one of those pigs that they cook in the ground.” Did he feel a pang of guilt at that? Maybe a little. But after being trapped in a basement, chained to a wall for days, he was willing to ignore it.
Revy knew he was into that fruity shit. And didn’t care, but if poking fun at him for it turned him into a hilarious fucking grouch than she’d do it, forever. “Fuck the octopus, then,” she said around her straw, sucking up another mouthful of rum with a splash of fruit. “You tearing up a dead animal’s carcass something I need to keep between us or can I text Logan about so we can make fun of you, eh?”
Bad part of her being friends with his friends now - he got shit from both sides, and her eyebrows were wagging at him because she was being a shit. A shit that liked him, because she turned over onto her stomach - rolling in closer - and dropped a kiss to his shoulder.
Leon shifted so that he could place his arm under her and curl it around her body. He frowned slightly at her choice of phrase, but he once he was able to fight down the slight wave of revulsion he grinned at her. “Oh fuck no,” he said. “There is absolutely no reason why you would need to keep me eating a whole pig to ourselves. Hell, that’s the kind of thing you take photographic proof of.”
“Hah. Interesting,” she said, giving that notorious shit-eating grin as her teeth bit down on the straw for a chew. “Did it take being kidnapped by a crazy bitch to revert you back to your meat-eating ways?”
Revy wasn’t a fan of him suddenly eating just non-meat things but she learned to be supportive. She wouldn’t keep tofu in her fucking fridge for just about anyone, mind you, and she had toned down on her obnoxious and gratuitous devouring of animals.
Pictures would be taken, yeah. A fuckload of ‘em.
“It’s a dog eat dog world out there,” Leon said. “Besides, with incisors like these, there’s no way I’m not meant to eat meat,” he said, pointing toward his canines. They were hardly fangs, but they were marginally sharper than the average person’s tooth.
He let out a content sigh. “This is way overdue,” he said, staring up into the blue sky. “This place is fucking perfect. Why the fuck don’t we live here instead of Weirdsville, USA?”
This bitch had incisors too, Leon, and she showed them by taking a bite of his shoulder - that spot that she kissed earlier - but it was gentle. Mostly. Love nip, or what the fuck ever. “We’d get bored after awhile,” she offered with a shrug, shifting about some to set the pineapple rum elsewhere and lie on her side, bare leg draped over him. “I think you like your friends too much, too.”
So did Revy. The few she had that she was exceptionally close to, anyway, and the OC gave some action to shoot at every now and then. It could be worse. “Besides, the fuck would you do out here anyway?”
Leon laughed at the bite. “Easy there, Nibbler,” he teased. With the arm still wrapped around her, he moved to pull her properly on top of him so that he could give her a proper kiss.
“I bet people get murdered in paradise too,” Leon said nonchalantly. He’d still have a job. Probably. Then again, he doubted that Hawaii had a very big homicide department. He might have to work in a different department, and that wasn’t something he particularly wanted. “And yeah, I guess leaving Logan and Sharon,” and the rest, “would kind of suck.” That, and there was something that just didn’t quite sit right with him any time he thought of permanently leaving the Orange County.
Revy was moved easily and willingly, lean muscle and gifted womanly assets (her fucking tits, and they were nicely sized) against him. Her hair wasn’t tied up in a ponytail like it usually was - it was damp from ocean and naturally crinkled, and it to tickle his nose.
“Murdered, by sharks,” she supplied with a shrug, then shut an eye to think that statement over. Was that murder or just nature? “We’d both get restless, shithead. Unless we drink and never stay sober.”
Not a bad life. Revy reached for the pineapple again, plopped it on Leon’s face for a minute, and sipped. Fucker made a damn good table.
Leon grinned toothily, his nose twitching slightly fro her hair, and took a firm hold of her ass. “What do you know, I’m a cop singularly equipt to questioning sharks. And hey, I’ve got too much sobriety going on in my life as is. I don’t think being drunk all day in Hawaii is a bad life.”
For a moment, he didn’t know what exactly what had happened. First, he was looking up at Revy, with that cheeky grin and her wavy hair, silhouetted by the bright Hawaii sun, and the next moment he was staring at the bottom of a pineapple. He sat there for a full four seconds before his mind caught up with what was happening, and then he forced himself into a sitting position, Revy’s drink be damned. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” he roared.
Haha. Fuckin’ loser. Revy might have spilled the rest of the rum on her bikini-cleavage but she was at least laughing, ass stubbornly planted on his lap because Leon be damned in general.
“You owe me another drink but fuck, you know what? Ever tried talking to sea life? A fish? A shark?” Think about it, Leon. She didn’t know what the shark attack rate was around here but Google did, and she ripped her phone from a pile of towels to research that fun fact. “Increased shark attacks around Maui and Oahu, posted on May of 216.
Leon scowled. He’d give her something to laugh about. Cupping his hands under the tops of her thighs, he stood up, lifting her with him. “No, I’ve never talked to Flounder and his friends,” he said, starting toward the water. “But you’re about to.”
For fuck’s sake. That phone was dropped (it would live, it landed on stupid sand) so Revy could grab, and that involved coiling her arms around his neck for a grip to do the Titanic bullshit of ‘never letting go.’ “Eat a dick, Orcot, if you toss me in there I will drag your ass in with me and drown you!”
Not to mention she had legs and she’d make sure they were kicking, but maybe not too hard - if she whipped his ass then he’d be severely bummed by his defeat.
“Then I guess we’ll drown together,” Leon growled, stalwartly ignoring those kicking legs. There was no chance of being able to pry her arms off from around his neck, but he was determined enough on his revenge for being treated like a piece of furniture that he was willing to get a little wet too. He was waist deep in the water now, and that’s when he decided to dive into the water, Revy first.
“Motherfu--” Blublublub was the rest of it. That’s what caused a release of his neck so success to the asshole, but she’d make sure to at least dunk his face towards the sandy bottom before resurfacing and grimacing at the taste of salt water.
At least it wasn’t gross murky beach water and people were less likely to piss in Hawaiian waters, hopefully. “You’re a sore bitchass loser. What kind of shitty boyfriend are you that I can’t use your face was a table?”
Leon almost pulled himself triumphantly out of the water before Revy was dragging him right back down again. Getting him, he spat out a mouthful of ocean water and coughed. “If you want to date a table I’ll drive you to Ikea right now to pick out a new boyfriend,” Leon snapped. “Though, good luck finding one that’ll stand you.” Pun totally unintended, but in retrospect, hilarious. He smirked at himself.
“How do you have ny friends with lines like that, ya shit?” Revy’s face was everything that represented murder. Fuckin’ cheeseball, was he serious? There was that inner conflict of whether to beat him versus to laugh at his dumbass, but her decision was to ultimately leap and tackle.
And by tackle, it was basically wrapping her legs and arms around him for a complete body trap and to latch - whether or not he could take her weight without toppling over or if he fell to swallow a fuckload of water (full thousands of gallons of whale sperm, think about that Orcot).
“My friends all have a sense of humour,” Leon grumbled roughly, though now that he thought about it they didn’t laugh at his jokes nearly as often as he laughed at his jokes. He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, before Revy was literally throwing herself at him. He might have been able to hold her weight if he’d been prepared for the move, but as it was he stayed on his feet for two steps backward, and then fell backwards into the water, managing yet another mouthful of water, though luckily for him, the sperm of whales was not on his mind. He flailed until he managed to break the surface again, and then he took a sweet, sweet breath of air. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a bitch?” he said, pushing the hair from his eyes with a hand.
“You, all the time,” she smirked, considering herself victorious, and closed the gap between them by throwing her arms around his neck - this time without dangerous intentions - and she kissed his salty mouth. The incoming waves had her that much closer against him, too. “I accept your pretentious ass all the fucking time so it’s a fair trade, fucker.”
Revy had told Kit she had sorta, maybe, actually fucking loved this dipstick. It was true. But when was the right time to tell someone that? On a vacation in paradise?
Jesus fuckin’ christ, who did that?
Leon may have admitted the same to Liv once upon a time too, though he’d denied it as soon as he said it. There was something strange about admitting to be in love with the woman who’d pulled a gun on him the first time they’d met. But right now, standing waist deep in the ocean with the sun-warmed water lapping at them, arms intertwined and lips locked, he realized that there was no place he’d rather be and no one he’d rather be there with. It was nigh on perfect, and he was almost able to completely squash the feeling in the pit of his stomach that said that such happiness could only portend some kind of disaster.
“Revy, I…” he started thickly, gazing at her. “I… could really go for another drink. You want anything?” That was probably close enough to what he meant.
There was some suspicion that maybe, just maybe, he could’ve meant something else with how awkward all that fucking sounded. It could have been Revy overthinking it with what she’d been thinking - a cycle of over thinking bullshit, and his suggestion for a drink was something she could definitely use.
“That was the strangest sounding question about drinking I’ve ever heard,” she pointed out shamelessly, mouth against his again for another kiss. This time she grabbed his ass, too. “You’re buying me another pineapple. I wouldn’t have lost mine if you didn’t freak out like a bitch.”
Leon eagerly returned the kiss, grabbing hold of both her breasts as he did so. “I was distracted by these great tits of yours,” he said cheerfully, giving them a bit of a giggle before he released his hold. He started his way back toward the shore. “You wouldn’t have lost yours if you hadn’t thought you were dating Ikea,” he said jovially, not refusing. It was perfect enough here that it was hard to hold on to any kind of annoyance.
Revy followed in pursuit as quick as she could through the heavy water, wringing the excess from her hair (it’d get dry again soon with the sun beating down on them). “I would have found a way to knock your teeth out without sacrificing the goods,” she countered, and didn’t let him exit the ocean without making another dramatic leap - this time on his back - and using her legs to lock her hold around his waist.
Piggyback ride back to their spot, fucker.
“But, seriously, are you seeing fish in the water as people?”
For a stumbling step, Leon struggled with his balance, but he managed to catch himself before he fell face first into the sand and water at his feet. Scowling, he placed his hands under Revy’s thighs and adjusted her for his comfort before continuing on his walk.
“Oh fuck no,” Leon said, relieved. “Wild animals look like animals unless they’ve got something to say.” Which wasn’t entirely uncommon, especially not with the wild animals that lived in and around the city. The same was probably true of domesticated animals, but he’d never seen one that didn’t want anything to do with him. “I figure so long as I don’t swim around any schools of fish, I can avoid that entire experience.”
Leon was relieved, Revy was disappointed. “Vacation’s still early,” she snickered, dipping her head to bite at his earlobe. “You might still get the chance. But maybe we could go hit the hotel room, get some alcoholic room service or some shit?”
Hinthint.
“Not if I get a choice in the matter,” Leon grumbled, wondering if he was going to get a choice in the matter. Though all thoughts of talking to fish and merpeople was swept from his mind as Revy rather skillfully turned his mind elsewhere. “Oh fuck yeah. What’s the point of vacation if you can’t spend the whole day locked in your hotel room?”