Sharon Carter is a super spy (exshieldagent) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-03-06 17:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, bucky barnes (winter soldier), sharon carter |
Who: Sharon Carter exshieldagent and Bucky Barnes jbuchananbarnes
What: Dinner
Where: Their place
When: Late September
Rating/Warnings:
Status: Complete
It was hot. Sharon was thankful the office was air-conditioned, her car was air-conditioned, and the apartment complex had a pool. It was starting to cool down, though she’d read that it reached a hundred degrees fahrenheit at the hottest point of the afternoon. Hopefully Bucky and Viv weren’t too hot today, though she knew that if they needed or wanted to, they could have gone to the park and played in the sprinklers. She was debating slipping into a swimsuit and going for a plunge in the pool to cool down before dinner.
Oh. Crap. Dinner. Sharon had her keys, cell phone and briefcase, and was juggling them all as she made her way up to the door. She’d forgotten about dinner! There must have been something in the fridge, right? Some salad or sausages or something? They at least had rice and pasta in the cupboard. And she made sure that they were stocked up on Viv’s food. Lots of baby food and toddler food, so Viv wouldn’t go hungry.
Sharon managed to get the door open without dropping anything, and stepped into the apartment. God, she was dying to get her shoes off and strip off her nylons.
“I’m home!” She called out, pushing the door closed behind her.
~*~
No real explanation could be given for the fact he had feeling in the supposedly dead nerves of his left arm. Bucky had spent the day in track pants and a tank trying out different moves with Viv on the floor on her activity mat watching him. She giggled when he chanced it to put his bad hand down, pointing his toes at the floor, looking at her as he pushed himself up with the arm -his bad arm, the useless arm he'd wanted to have cut off- while using his free hand to waggle his fingers at her.
Bucky had gotten sweaty enough from working out muscles he'd thought long lost to him to make him need a shower. He left the curtain cracked with Viv in a walker she liked to play around in, spinning herself in endless circles, kicking her pudgy feet to make it move forward a few inches then back those same inches. She was fine playing there inside the door to the master bath with him. It didn't take long for a cold shower to clean himself up, half the time it would usually take in fact since he had two good hands to wash with instead of one.
He had finished dressing in a fresh set of track pants and a new tank when he heard Sharon's voice.
Toweling off his hair roughly, Bucky draped the damp towels over the shower rod before pushing Viv's walker into the hall so she could propel herself forward at full momentum to her mother's waiting arms, "Incoming!"
It was as much warning as he was willing to give while he cleaned up the mess in the bathroom. Things were put back onto the sink where they'd been knocked down into the floor by Viv banging against the cabinet and then the wall over and over; his sweat-soaked clothes were tossed into the hamper with the lid placed on top firmly to hopefully seal out the worst of the smell until he could get the laundry done again. Bucky finished up with a swipe of a washcloth to the floor where water had come out from the cracked curtain as he'd showered.
"I'm good. Okay. I had to take a shower. It's as hot as Hell's Kitchen today. How was your day?"
~*~
Sharon was able to set down her briefcase and toss her keys and phone into the bowl thingy on the table by the front door before Viv came giggling down the hall in her walker. The baby started to chant “Ma ma ma ma ma!” with her hands up, making grabby fingers at her mother. This prompted a smile from said mother, who rushed forward to tickle the now squealing, happy, baby girl. Lifting her up out of the walker, Sharon brought her face in to blow raspberries against Viv’s chubby neck, then hoisted the babe up onto her hip before turning her attention to Bucky.
“Fine. Work. You look wet,” she said, grinning. Being home was the best. The exhaustion and stress of the day practically melted off her shoulders as she leaned over to steal a kiss from Bucky. “Shame I couldn’t come and join you in there.”
~*~
"You have no idea how much of a shame," Bucky smirked, before deciding to throw caution to the wind.
The most beautiful girls in the world were kissing him -Sharon because she was his lover; Viv because she had learned when someone she loved leaned toward her face it meant they wanted kisses.- and both his arms worked. Bucky stepped in on Sharon's space, crowding her as he lifted his previously useless left arm up to wrap around her back, ducking at the knees to grab her behind hers to pick her off the ground with Viv in her arms. The baby laughed as he held them both cradled aloft.
Swaying lightly with them, Bucky put on an innocent expression as he asked, "Do you notice anything different about me other than I found our shower?"
~*~
Sharon was caught completely off guard as Bucky wrapped her up into his arms. Both arms. She was about to complain--to warn him not to stress himself--but then she realized what was happening. Her face fell into a gasp, then lit up like a Christmas tree. “Bucky!” She said, tightening her own grip on the baby. It was weird to be in between them like this--like a Sharon sandwich on Bucky and Viv bread.
“You… how did you…?” Sharon asked, trying to get a look at his arms. They were wrapped around her, holding her, so it was impossible. She grinned a little more brightly, then leaned in to kiss him again.
~*~
Dreams were something they didn't talk about though other people on the Valarnet did. He kissed her back before placing her back on her feet. The worst thing he figured could happen was she got upset to know he was having memories from seventy years prior to the present day. Sharon was the kind of woman who took things as they came to them. She'd accept it. She'd help him accept it. They were a team.
"I've been having these really intense dreams. The kind people talk about on Valarnet. I just woke up knowing I felt different. It turns out? My arm works again. All the way works. I've never felt better works. Crazy, right?"
~*~
Oh, God. Sharon’s face fell just a little when he started talking about Valarnet. She tightened her grip on the baby for just a moment, almost worried that she might… drop her. “You have?” She asked, her voice shaking. Though she was so glad that his arm was working again, what did that mean? Was he back in time? In the Dreams?
Was he going to die? To disappear? Like he had during World War II?
“It is. It’s crazy.” She forced a smile, though, trying to be supportive. Her heart was thundering. “It’s really crazy. But hey, let’s not question it.” She moved to the living room to set Viv down on her playmat. (Not that the girl would stay on it for long.)
~*~
"The craziest part? It's---not exactly present day in my dreams and I know I was never the best history student so how I know all this stuff? It's beyond me. I can tell you what Brooklyn was like in the early 1900s. I can tell you what it was like growing up poor in the slums there. I just know it. Does that make sense?"
No.
Of course it didn't make any sense.
Bucky had lost the use of his arm in a very real, very present-day war injury. He should have never regained muscle control not to mention the fact nerves didn't regenerate. All the docs at the VA would lose their minds when they saw him which was why Bucky wasn't so sure he wanted to see any of them. Sharon was the person who mattered to him. If Sharon could accept he was magically healed after some weird dreams? That would be enough for him.
~*~
Sharon stared at him for a moment, realizing that he was struggling with something she’d struggled with herself. The living of two lives was very strange, hard to wrap a head around. She’d hoped that he wasn’t the same Bucky Barnes from her dreams… but how could he not be? With the ties to Brooklyn and Steve… it was a wonder he’d made it this far without Dreaming.
“It makes sense.” She said quietly. She motioned for Bucky to join her on the sofa. “Because you’re not the only one it’s happening to.”
~*~
Valarnet wasn't exactly an exclusive community in terms of online sites, but Bucky knew that people who were on there? They were there for a reason. They were looking for answers. None of them were positive about anything except that they were looking for answers. It was possible -okay, it was likely- Sharon had her own Dreams they'd never talked about in the time they'd been together.
"You want to tell me about your Dreams? I don't suppose it's 1940 in your Dreams? We could reminisce about the good old, as in really old days."
Bucky sat down next to Sharon on the couch, trying to give her space even as he wanted to forget about everything except touching her with two good hands. There was something incredibly enticing about getting to touch her as a whole man. They had time for that though, didn't they? He didn't know this would go away or how long it would last, but Bucky did know he had forever with Sharon. She wasn't running out on him because he'd talked about having vivid dreams which gave him back the use of a useless limb. If that wasn't a sign she was in it forever? Nothing would be.
~*~
“I do have Dreams. And no, it’s not the 1940’s.” She paused, wondering how on Earth she was going to confess this to him without sounding absolutely insane. How much was she allowed to tell him?
“It’s mostly modern day in my Dreams, and I’m working undercover. I’ve been positioned across the hall from the gentleman I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on. Posing as a nurse, some light flirting… It was kinda fun. But it was all a front. I’m Agent Thirteen with SHIELD.” She paused. He wouldn’t know what SHIELD was.
“How much have you Dreamed? How old were you in them when you woke?” She asked, assuming he started from the beginning like she did.
~*~
"I'm dating a Secret Agent. Nice. Does this make me the Bond girl in our relationship? I'm completely fine with that."
Bucky thought for a minute about his last Dreams. There'd been so much going on in them. He'd been released from a prison camp thanks to Steve. The new-and-improved Steve Rogers who they called 'Captain America' had saved his life; Bucky smiled realizing in those Dreams, he'd simply been glad the whole world could see Steve the way he had all along. The man hadn't needed a serum to be a hero to Bucky.
Steve had always been the best man he knew.
Thinking through the list of things he could remember, Bucky said, "28, I think, but maybe 27. Steve got me out of a jam in a prison camp in Austria. We'd hiked it back to the base camp for our side in Italy. Pretty sure it was 1943. I don't know the exact month and day or anything because I wasn't exactly given a calendar or a watch in the isolation ward and I guess those things didn't fit in Steve's tights."
He chuckled at the crazy costume Steve was running around in.
"You sound so serious. It's war stuff. I mean, I got my arm back. I've never felt better. The year being so long ago is crazy, but it's not too far from what I deal with from my own memories of being at war. What's got you so nervous?"
~*~
Sharon nodded. She knew all about it. How much of this was she going to tell Bucky? How much could she? She didn’t want to ruin the Dreams for him, and she couldn’t exactly prepare him for them either, could she? Reaching forward to take hold of his hand, she stalled for time. What had made her so nervous? Just… this. All of it. She didn’t know how to tell him what was going on with him, or with her, either.
“I read the report,” Sharon said softly. “In my Dreams I’m assigned to… to Steve.” She lifted her eyes to look into his. “He’s still alive, even after all this time because of the serum.”
That seemed like a good place to start.
~*~
"Good to know Steve's still kicking it after---what is that? 70 years?"
Bucky didn't really want to think about the time difference. He did know he was going to find out he likely wasn't still kicking it. They'd made Steve into the man he had always been in Bucky's eyes; Bucky Barnes was still only some guy from Brooklyn. The fact he'd lived through a POW camp under Zola's care was miracle enough for him. The idea of dying didn't bother him as much as the idea Sharon seemed to be hesitant to talk about Steve.
She was a secret agent. He was Captain America. It went without saying if she was assigned to watch him? Sharon had been exposed to all the best things about Steve---and Steve was an easy guy to love.
Bucky should know.
He'd loved him since the first day he'd met him.
Steve Rogers was the best man he knew and the brother he'd never gotten.
"Is this the part where you tell me you're married to my best friend?"
He smiled at her as he asked though the smile didn't reach his eyes.
~*~
Sharon grinned softly. “Still kicking, that’s for sure.” And then she blinked at him. Her grin fell considerably. “What? No. No.” She shook her head, reaching for his hand to give it a squeeze.
“I mean, he was my Aunt Peggy’s boyfriend.” It was sort of incestuous to think about. Also, he was her mark. She didn’t let those things mix.
As much as Sharon wanted to claim that her feelings didn’t ever head in that direction… who didn’t love Steve? She wasn’t going to lie and say she’d never thought about it… but she loved Bucky here and now. That wasn’t going to change.
~*~
"I wouldn't blame you," Bucky told her as he circled his thumb over her knuckles, Sharon was a miracle of contradictions with her soft hands and hard punches, "Steve is the guy anyone can love."
All of them loved Steve back in the day. The women were the only ones who'd been unable to see past his size. Funny since his heart had been big enough to hold all of the 107th in it. Bucky really would not have blamed Sharon for telling him she'd chosen the good guy, the hero, the man everyone could love. The truth was all over her face to say she was happy with the choice she'd made in this life.
Him.
Sharon had chosen him.
"Aunt Peggy seems weird to me. The age difference, you know? These Dreams are a real mindfuck. I'm thinking I've never felt better though so---maybe they're not all bad? If they can give me back my arm, what else can they do for me? Think I'll wake up with a million bucks in small, unmarked bills next to me one morning? I can't say I would turn it down. It'd go a long way to getting our family into our own house."
~*~
“It would.” A million dollars? Sure. That would be at least a down payment on a house. They’d have more space to grow their family if they moved into a house with three bedrooms. Or four. Heck, if she was imagining things, might as well go crazy.
Sharon leaned in to steal a kiss from him. It definitely was a mindfuck. She wasn’t all that fond of it. But so long as they were together, they could handle it. And Bucky had his arm back! It was amazing! She felt like they should celebrate.
“C’mon. Let’s order pizza for dinner. I don’t want to waste time cooking when I’d much rather be snuggled up in your arms.”