Liv Moore is an alabaster badass (livmoore) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-02-21 22:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, lowell tracey, olivia moore |
Who: Livwell
What: Lowell drops the L bomb. Liv drops a dream bomb.
When: Late January
Where: Liv's apartment
Warning/Rating: Low - some talk of dream murder, and buying brains.
Liv and Lowell’s relationship had definitely blossomed since he became a zombie. Not that she wanted him to, she wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Not to mention she was terrified of what else the dreams had in store for him. But it was nice having someone around who understood what she was going through. Got what it was like to constantly change personalities. What it was like to survive on brains. And of course she just generally liked Lowell, a lot. So yeah, every chance to spend time with it, she took it.
They were currently at her apartment. Yeah Lowell’s was nicer what with the whole rockstar, or well former rockstar since he couldn’t exactly perform anymore, thing, but all Liv’s supplies were at her apartment. She had purchased an easel as well as some paper, paints, charcoal and other art supplies with her new brain. These personality changes were starting to get expensive. Just a few weeks ago she had gotten a skateboard. “Tilt your head to the left a bit,” Liv instructed her boyfriend, because yes, she was painting his portrait.
Lowell normally wouldn’t have sat down for a painted portrait of himself, but, well, what Liv asked of him he was willing to do. Besides, his schedule had completely opened up since his ‘panic attacks’ (see also: the urge to rip off the heads and eat the brains of everyone around him when the pre-show adrenaline kicked in) had prevented him from performing any longer. He and Amycus were working on a solution for that, but the free time was kind of nice. And it wasn’t like he couldn’t still record music and sell records.
But sitting still for so long was kind of a pain. Not in the traditional sense. Since his blood didn’t flow nearly as much as it did when he was human, he didn’t need to worry about his legs going to sleep or anything like that. “Like this?” Lowell asked, tilting his head slightly and gazing at Liv as she painted him. “By the way, what’s the VOC rating on those paints your using?”
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, or even comprehend exactly what he had asked. He’d never even heard of VOC before, but thinking it over he realized that it must have stood for volatile organic compounds.
“Perfect,” Liv beamed getting back to her painting. Just a few finishing touches and then she’d be done. How question though, caused her to look, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry, the what now?” Seriously what the hell was VOC? She had no idea. Not real!Liv or artist!Liv. Of course it occurred to her that this had to have something to do with Lowell’s brain considering he had never mention the term before. But still, knowing what the hell he was talking about would be nice.
“I think it’s this brain,” Lowell explained, unknowingly echoing Liv’s thoughts. His personality swings didn’t seem to be nearly as … pronounced as Liv, but they still caught him off guard when it came through. “Are they good for the environment is all I’m asking. Did you check that before you bought them?”
“Uh yeah. Of course I did,” Liv lied as she finished up the portrait. There was no need to get Lowell all worked up especially when he probably wouldn’t care otherwise. “And viola,” she said turning the painting around to show him. “You can relax now.”
“Let me see,” Lowell said, getting up from where he was sitting. He stretched one arm over his head and then the other before making his way to the painting. It was more out of habit than any real need to stretch, but it felt almost human nevertheless.
“Did you get my good side?”
She turned the portrait towards Lowell. Yes, she had him pose for it, but that was mostly so she could get the details on his face just right. Some of it she did from memory, which was precisely why in the portain he had a guitar in his hands as if he was playing. “Like you have a bad side.”
“And here I thought you hadn’t noticed,” Lowell responded, and then fell silent as he contemplated the painting. It was the best painting everyone had ever done of him - even if it hadn’t been the only one, he was sure that that would still be true. “This is great, Liv,” he said. It wasn’t even about the skill of the artist, because he knew that that wasn’t Liv, but it wasn’t some boring portrait. It was something that had character, that seemed to capture him, and that he’d be proud to hang in his living room. “I love it.”
That just caused an eyeroll from Liv. She was pretty sure everyone noticed. Lowell was gorgeous and she had a good feeling he knew it too. “Good,” Liv beamed. “Because it’s yours. Once the paint dries you can take it home. In the meantime… brains?”
“Yeah,” Lowell said absently, but instead of moving toward the kitchen, he took Liv’s hand instead. He took another look at the painting, his heart stirring, before turning his gaze to Liv and gazing at her. He’d wondered if Liv had seen him the same way as she saw her; he hadn’t exactly been great to her when they’d first started seeing one another. But his feelings for her had been growing, and that seemed to be especially true once he’d finally dreamed of her. In the dreams, the first sight of her had been like a source of hope that he didn’t think he’d ever see again. Now, it was like she was the one shining light in his life, and if the painting of him was any indication, it seemed like she seemed to feel the same way. There were a lot of things that he wanted to say to her, but for now all he could do was drink in her appearance.
Why was Lowell looking at her so intently like that? It was a bit… odd. She furrowed her brow in confusion. “What?” She asked brushing the side of her face to make sure there was nothing on it. “With the way you’re staring you’d think you were about to paint a portrait of me.”
“I would if I could,” Lowell said. “But I haven’t eaten any artists lately. I guess I’ll just have to write a song to express to you how much I love you.”
Wait. What?
Did Liv hear that right? She just stared at Lowell, blinking a few times. “I’m sorry, a song about what now?”
Lowell smiled. Now that it was out there in a roundabout way, saying it outright was much easier. “I’m in love with you, Liv,” he said, reaching up to cup her face. “I think you’re the most amazing, most wonderful, most beautiful girl in the entire world. In both worlds, this one and the dream one.” Well, he didn’t really know her in the dreams yet, but he had the feeling he would. Up until she had come into his dreams, it had been like dreaming in black and white. And just like Oz, she brought them into a world of colour.
Liv wasn’t sure what to say to that. In the dreams she never got a chance to say it back. He had sacrificed himself trying to kill Blaine. Something Liv would never forgive herself for. But still she wasn’t sure she was ready to say it back just yet. Instead she focused on the other part of his statement, because if he had started dreaming about her, that meant he was one step closer to his dream death. And who knew what that meant for him here. The thought brought tears to her eyes. “You started dreaming about me?” she finally asked swallowing the lump in her throat.
Okay. Not the reaction he’d been expecting. He tried very hard to figure out if the tears that were welling up in Liv’s eyes were from sheer joy or because the idea of him loving her was that horrible. Maybe he didn’t want to know, now that he thought about it.
“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “I mean, not much of you. There was a skydiving accident and then you took me in for questioning. You’re cute when you’re questioning people, by the way.”
Ah, so he wasn’t that far into their dream relationship. There was still time. But still. Liv wanted to focus on his banter in the interrogation room, and all the good things about their dream relationship but she couldn’t. “There’s something I think you should know,” Liv said leading him over to the couch. This was definitely a sitting down kind of conversation.
This seemed awkward. What exactly was the procedure for what to do when you told your girlfriend you loved her and she decided that you needed to have a talk on the couch. Other than listen to her, he supposed. He fought down the urge to run away, and instead forced his feet to take him toward the couch. “It’s not another zombie, is it?” he asked, teasing.
Usually Liv would have made some sort of quip at his comment. About how he was the only zombie for her. But the moment had already gotten serious and joking right now felt wrong. “Well,” Liv began as the pair sat down, taking Lowell’s hand hers. “I’m sure you know I’m ahead of you in the dreams…” she let her statement hang there. Warning him felt like the right thing to do, but if he really didn’t want to know anything she was giving him the chance to interrupt.
Lowell didn’t miss the lack of a quip, and the teasing look faded from his eyes. He took her hand and gave it a slight squeeze to show that he was listening to her. “Yeah, I know,” he said, not sure where this was going and feeling a sense of dread settling into the pit of his stomach. “Did something happen?”
“Yes,” Liv replied. Now that she had started telling him there was no going back. And he did deserve to know. Part of her felt like it was a mistake to not warn him about the zombie thing ahead of time but there was nothing she could do about that now. “You- you,” she paused unable to get the rest of the sentence out, more tears welling up in her eyes, a few falling down her cheek. “Blaine,” another pause swallowing yet another lump in her throat. “Murders you.”
Watching Liv like this was probably the hardest thing Lowell had had to do to date. Well, if he ignored the whole zombieness of his life, at least. “Blaine?” Lowell asked. The name sounded familiar, and it took him a moment to match a face with a name, though that only managed to increase his confusion. “You mean the guy who sells me brains? Why would he…?” He shook his head. That wasn’t really important right now. “Well, he’s not here right now. I think I’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, him,” Liv said wiping the tears from her face forcing a smile. She wasn’t about to tell Lowell that he tried to kill Blaine first. She wasn’t sure how much she was supposed to give away about his death. This already felt like a lot. “But yeah you’re right. No more worrying.” She was lying of course but she wanted to make Lowell feel better.
“No more worrying,” Lowell assured Liv, though he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to follow his own advice. Being a zombie wasn’t his ideal way to live his life, but he rather enjoyed the whole living thing. But if death was something that carried through the dreams, he’d probably have heard of it.
At least, he hoped so.