Couple of screws loose (quite_vexing) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-01-21 19:08:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, h g wells, harley quinn |
Just a dream
Who: Harley and Helena
What: Bad dreams, angst and fluff
When: Recently
Where: their house
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
In the dreams, Helena had finally retired from active duty with the Warehouse. After the whole situation with the Astrolabe, she couldn’t take it anymore. Helena couldn’t take being alone, and she was done with the Warehouse. So she’d found a place to live, in Wisconsin of all places, possibly because she loved a sense of irony. She had a job as a forensic scientist. She did things normal people did. She even took a cooking class where she met a man named Nate. It didn’t take long for them to hit it off. Things had gone well, she even moved in with him and his daughter, Adelaide, whom she got along with extremely well. She taught her some things, even got her into kenpo.
But as life always seemed to do with her, an Artifact had come along and ruined the happiness she’d been able to build. Of course, it had been partly her fault by going under the assumed name of Emily Lake. After all, no one would believe she was H.G. Wells. She’d called Myka and Pete to help locate the Artifact, and during the investigation, Nate discovered that Helena had been lying to him about who she was. And Adelaide had been kidnapped and she felt responsible for it. Myka had told her to fight for him, but Helena doubted he wanted to hear the truth. Which is what had happened. She’d tried to explain, but Nate hadn’t wanted to hear it. They’d broken up and again Helena uprooted her life and tried to find another place to call home.
Upon waking, Helena sighed in frustration at her dreams. She slid out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash her face with cold water. She knew she had Harley and Christina here in this life, but it didn’t stop her heart from hurting over her dream life. She seriously couldn’t catch a single break. Sighing heavily, she dried her face off, then grabbed her robe, pulling it around herself and tying it shut as she slipped out of the bedroom and went to Christina’s room. It was still early, but Helena needed to check on her daughter. She quietly opened the door and poked her head in to see Christina sleeping soundly. It was in order to remind herself that her daughter was alive and well here. Sometimes she needed to remind herself of that. That Christina had only died in her dreams.
Padding quietly over to her bed, Helena leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her head, smoothing some hair from Christina’s face. She stirred momentarily, but didn’t wake up. Helena retreated from the room and closed the door, leaning back against it and she closed her eyes. She wondered when her dreams would end.
Helena returned to her bedroom, picking up the locket she’d gotten from her dreams and slipping it on. Then she went over to Harley, leaned down and pressed a kiss to her head, this one lingering. She wanted to wake her up, yet not at the same time.
Ever since her kid had gone home, Harley had felt profoundly sad. Oh, she hid it, and she spent a lot more time with Christine than she usually did, but she’d been sad. It was about time to come out of her funk, though, and she’d made an effort in recent days to do just that. Her dreams were interesting, back in the second world war with Ivy, and the sadness at not having her around remained when Helena’s kiss stirred her. Her eyes were bleary when she opened them but Helena’s sadness overrode her own.. “Mmm?”
She yawned, and wrapped an arm around her. “What’s wrong?”
Even without Harley saying anything, Helena knew she was sad after Lucy had gone back home. It was easy to see the signs, but she knew better than to force Harley out of it. She’d move on when she was ready, and in the meantime Helena just let her know that she was there for her and did what she could to support her.
She slid an arm around Harley and leaned her forehead against hers. “Just a dream,” she said softly. Though it sounded like Helena was trying to convince herself of that. Sometimes her dream self bled through far too much for her liking.
“Sounds like a bad one.” Harley pulled Helena down half on top of her and refused to let go. “Tell me about it. Don’t keep it in, you know what happens when you keep it in.”
Helena blanketed herself over Harley as she was pulled down. She drew in a breath. “After the situation with the Astrolabe was resolved, I retired from working for the Warehouse. I took an assumed identity, using the name Emily Lake to make a new life for myself here.” Emily Lake, of course, being the identity the Regents had given her body after Helena’s consciousness had been stripped and put onto the Janus Coin.
“I met a man named Nate. We began dating and I met his daughter Adelaide, who was about Christina’s age. Things were going well until an Artifact surfaced, and I called Myka and Pete to come take care of it. I tried not to get involved, but I was forced into it. Because of my connection to the case, Adelaide was kidnapped by the people who were using the Artifact, and Nate found out I’d been lying to him about who I was.” She sighed softly. “I saved Adelaide, but when I tried to tell Nate the truth, he didn’t want to hear it. We broke up. And once more my dream self can’t have any amount of happiness without it getting taken away.”
“I’m so sorry. That ain’t fair.” Harley stroked her back in lazy circles. Helena deserved all the happiness in the world. Second chances. “If that artifact hadn’t shown up, you mighta had a happy ending. It ain’t fair…”
But maybe that was the way it was. People like them didn’t deserve any happiness. It would always be taken away. How long did they still have?
“It is the story of my life in the dreams. I can’t actually have a normal life, especially when I am over a century old and no one would believe who I truly was. Finding a place in the world is far more difficult than some may think it should be.” Helena had trouble fitting in. She was still learning about the modern world, trying to catch up on what she’d missed, and trying to appear to be a woman who belonged in the 21st Century was incredibly difficult.
“I understand why it was necessary for Artie to have used the Astrolabe to save the Warehouse and the world from certain destruction, but it would have been easier if I had remained dead.” At least Helena would’ve died redeeming herself and didn’t have to adjust to life again. Her heart was already broken, she didn’t need it to be ground into dust in the process of just trying to live.
“You could be a writer again. Imagine the stories you could craft with what you know of the modern world.” She then launched into something that had just occurred to her. “What if you do that here? Write a book. You might need a to put your full name on it, though.”
She squeezed her. “Don’t say that. Just cuz it’s hard don’t mean it’s bad.”
“I certainly could craft some brilliant stories.” Considering Helena had thought up, and built, things like the time machine and a space rocket in the 1890s, there was no telling what could come out of her head in the 21st Century. “I certainly could write a book. Or multiple books. I would not mind putting my full name on it, it includes part of yours now.” Helena said as she nuzzled her nose against Harley’s.
“I know, and I know the easiest path is not always the best one. I just feel that if I had remained dead then I wouldn’t have brought harm to Nate or Adelaide. All I bring is misery to those around me in the dreams.” She was partially quoting herself from her dream.
“You should. Helena Wells-Quinn, the next science fiction sensation! Technically since all your old stuff is copyright free ya could write sequels!” Even if only Helena’s friends would know they were actually canon.
“That’s not your fault. If you’d remained dead the world woulda ended.”
“I suppose it could be possible. I’d like to say I could re-write them completely as I originally intended them to be. My brother had made changes to the stories before publication.” Helena had always been irked by that, but what could she really do about it?
“I should have known better, known that I couldn’t have a normal life. People around me always seem to end up hurt or dead, whether it’s by my hand or caused by me.”
“Do it.” Harley rolled them over and straddled Helena, leaning down so that her hair hung between them. “Reclaim what’s yours. Have that normal life you deserve. We deserve.”
There was something plaintive in Harley’s voice. She was terrified that everything would suddenly collapse around her.
“That’s precisely the problem. In that life, I have nothing that is mine, and I can only tell one person who I actually am, and there aren’t many who would believe my story.” Helena gazed up at Harley, lifting a hand to caress her cheek.
“But here, here I have what I want. I have you and Christina, and if something tries to come between us I will fight it with everything I have and more.” There was conviction to her voice. Helena fought for the people she loved, and she didn’t let them go easily. At least in this respect it was easy for her to separate this life from her dream life.
Harley smiled down at her, leaning down and kissing the tip of her nose. “I wanna give you that. A perfect life. At least as perfect as our lives can be. Unless it all falls apart or somethin’.”
“I don’t claim to know the future, but I know that whatever time I have here, I want to spend it with you. Whether that’s until the next invasion that results in killing us all or until we’re both old and grey and dying of old age, it doesn’t matter. I love you. You’re my wife, and there’s no one I’d rather spend my life with than you.” Helena had married her twice, after all. She loved her and would do anything for her.
“I’d like to grow old. I want my tits to hang down to my knees and to have you still look at me like I’m the sun.” Harley didn’t always feel worthy. Helena was so smart. Beautiful. Kind. She deserved better. “But sometimes I get scared.”
“Why do you get scared?” Helena was curious, and she wanted to do her best to assuage that fear. She wanted Harley to be happy and for them to grow old together. Though Helena wondered if she should get looked at by a doctor familiar with the dreams. She had wondered if she’d suddenly aged at all or had any other ill effects from having been bronzed for a century. Better to know now, after all.
“That Mr J will remember. That I’ll wanna go back. Or that something else’ll happen. I’ll lose you. You’ll lose me. … Christine. Or maybe this is all a dream and I’ll wake up and I’ll never have known you.” Harley stroked her face. “I’m just having a kinda…. Low esteem time. Thinking about your dreams.”
Helena slid her arms around Harley’s back and held her tight. “If he does remember, I’ll shoot him before he can try anything to hurt you. You deserve better than that. And this is no dream, though I sometimes wish the Dreams never happened in the first place. Whatever happens, I am right here with you, and I am not about to lose you or Christina either. If someone or something tries to take either of you from me, they’ll have to pry you from my cold, dead hands.” She meant that literally.
“I love how you’d murder someone for me.” It was the small things that endeared Harley to Helena. “You know, maybe I’ve just been feeling too… goody two shoes lately. Like I’m losing’ my way but…. But maybe i should settle down. For Christine and you. And maybe I kinda like it. But am I still me?”
“I’d murder someone for those I love most.” Hell, she’d murdered her daughter’s killers in her dreams, and had tried to kill them to save Christina. She had been ready to kill people to get Adelaide back in her dream. She’d definitely kill for Harley.
“I think you should do what you want to do, what feels right. I’m not going to force you into something, that would not be fair of me. All I want is for you to be happy.” If Harley ever didn’t want her, she would let her go if it meant Harley would be happy. But Helena sincerely hoped she’d never have to do that.
It only made Harley love Helena more. Murder was okay when it was for the right circumstances. Harley took Helena’s hands and placed them suggestively on her breasts. “This makes me happy. Kissin’ you makes me happy. Watchin’ you work makes me happy. Sitting next to you an’ watching stupid movies makes me happy. Christine makes me happy…”
Saying it out loud helped.
Saying it out loud made it real.
There were times when murder was justified, even if the law didn’t see it that way. She had to smile at Harley, unable to help giving her breasts a bit of a squeeze. “That’s good because doing those things with you makes me happy. Playing with the puppies with you and Christina makes me happy. Doing family games makes me happy. Time with you makes me happy.”
“...Lets get dressed and wake Christina up and go somewhere. I don’t care where. There’s gotta be some place we can go this time of night.” Harley suddenly needed to just be with them. The adult version of crawling into bed with your parents.
“There are a few options, definitely.” Helena leaned up and kissed Harley sweetly on the lips. She certainly wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon, so she was more than happy to spend the time with her family.