Raven loves waffles more than life itself (ofevilsfire) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2017-01-06 12:16:00 |
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Raven wasn’t quite sure what to make of the box of artifacts that had been on her bedside table when she had woken up. She knew what they were, how could she not? And she knew that they might be needed to stop her. Because no matter how many times she told herself that she didn’t need to be controlled by her demon side, it kept proving opposite. Even if it was in the dreams where it was provoked, or where she lost (more) control… the warning was still there.
And that meant that there could come a day when her demon side was provoked, or something happened and she lost control and needed to be put down. It was that or somehow being used to bring about the apocalypse and Raven would sooner sacrifice her life than risk that.
Of course, that didn’t make it any easier to see the items. Because in a way, them showing up meant that the likelihood of her going off kilter and needing to be stopped had probably increased. Groaning in frustration, the teen dressed before going to the Guild. There were things that she needed to get done there. Extracting a part of her soul to place into one of the items. Figuring out what to do with said items, and then once that was settled, erase the memory so she couldn’t sabotage herself.
Once at the guild, Raven set up and did the spells she needed on the items. Just as she finished placing part of her soul into the Ramat stone and sealing it, she felt a change in the air and placed it down, looking over to see who had come in.
It had been awhile since Caleb had been to the Magic Guild. The whole seeing ghosts thing didn’t interfere with his life much and frankly he just had too much going on to really focus on his ability. What with his girlfriend getting a decapitated head and all. He knew that he still needed to learn more though, the disaster that had happened with Chloe at the cemetery months ago was proof of that. And now that things had calmed down a bit and the holidays were over with he figured he should probably at least try and do some research.
Almost as soon as he walked into the Guild he saw Raven casting some spells. “What, do you like live here?” Caleb joked standing in the doorway arms folded over his chest.
Rolling her eyes, Raven let herself out of the circle she had made (so much easier than when she’d had to speak to her father. Or connect to one of the Deadly Sins as that made her physically sick) before shrugging.
“Maybe.”
She might as well. Okay so it usually depended on her mood on exactly where she’d go for certain magic studying. Regina’s crypt was more private, but the Guild had more books and while she had known the spells she needed for her current situation, the Guild had made more sense. She knew her aunt’s schedule, which meant she knew she wouldn’t be to the Guild anytime soon.
He was pretty sure Raven wasn’t being entirely serious. She was a tough one to read, but the last time they talked he got the feeling she was lonely. It was quite possible that she did in fact live her. But the main reason Caleb made that quip was because every time he was there he had seen her. It wasn’t exactly saying much though considering how little time Caleb actually spent there.
“Well,” he said making a point to look around the room. “It’s not the worse place in the world.” He stepped further inside nodding at the items that had been in front of her. “What’s up with that?”
And that was the trick of it. There was a loneliness, which was stupid. And she usually managed it. Besides, she was used to keeping her distance from people because it was safer for them. Didn’t make it any easier though as she was barely 18. “No, it’s not.”
Then the question. Pausing, Raven debated if she should even tell him what it was, what they could do. Yet with the complicated issues with the others she was close to… and they were right there and she’d come here in essence to figure out what to do.
“Contingency plans.” Which would make no sense. “They have the capability to kill me if I lose control.” Always such cheerful conversations when Raven was around.
Caleb certainly wasn’t expecting that answer. “Wait. Backup,” Caleb said holding up his hands. “What do you mean lose control?” First thing first, but of course Caleb was also wondering why the hell she would want to keep items around that could kill her.
Right. She didn’t exactly broadcast the fact that she was half demon. She just did everything she could to make up for that fact. Of what could happen. Well, that was going to be fun to go into. Though she was used to making flippant remarks about her demonic warmongering father.
“I’m half demon, and not the nice kind.” Technically she was one of the seven deadly sins. A power she’d really only learned about and one that she had no desire to use given how much it took out of her. “It’s a part of me that I’m always at war with because of the destruction that would come if I lose control. But I can’t deny the truth either. There’s evil that runs through me. And if the wrong set of demonic ducks line up, I can end up going all...dark diva in thigh highs. So in order to be safe to be around, I have these items… which showed up, which shows there’s a very good chance it will happen.”
It was just a fact of life that she had to deal with. Now she needed to figure out what to do next now that the items had been infused with the necessary magic.
Caleb couldn’t blame her for not telling him sooner. He wouldn’t want to broadcast he was half demon either. Especially if it was something that he couldn’t control.
“Wow,” Caleb finally said because well he didn’t know what else to say. “I couldn’t imagine being at war with myself all the time. You’re strong.” He wasn’t scared to be around her either. Caleb didn’t exactly scare easily though. Except when it came to his girlfriend. He was almost always worried about her, more so in dreams. But yeah not the point.
“Question, though. If your demon side takes over, how would those items help? It’s not like you’d want to stop yourself if you were all… evil.”
It was a lot to take in, and even though Raven had been dealing with it for years now, seeming her entire life three times over thanks to the dreams and how time felt with those, and she still sometimes struggled with it. Such as when she got physical reminders of her lineage and the risk she posed. When she lost control in smaller ways.
“That’s a matter of opinion.” She didn’t see herself as strong. She had tried to run from it. Now she just… did what she had to. Worried sometimes that the mask of humanity was just that, the mask, and that the demon was who she really was.
And… a valid question.
“I need to figure out who to give these to, who will be able and willing to use them, and then I erase the memory of giving them out, of enchanting them, everything dealing with this so that I can’t preemptively take them out before they can be used.”
“That’s my opinion,” Caleb said with a shrug. He wasn’t going to argue with her, but he did know strong women. His dreams were filled with them. And Raven probably knew that too since she apparently watched the show. So he’d just leave it at that. The topic of the items seemed more pressing.
“You can do all that? Erase your own memory?” It was a smart plan. Logical. Once she figured out who to give the items to. And Caleb was more than happy to help with that. “Who are your options?” He meant for giving the items to, hopefully she caught on to that. After all he was asking a lot of questions.
“I can. It takes a lot but it’s doable.” Tiresome, but doable. And necessary usually. But there was the pressing question, who were her options on who to give the items to. The question that had been pressing her all day long since she had woken up and seen the items then came to the guild in order to do the enchantments that were necessary and just being in a more magical location hopefully would help center her to figure out that question.
“There’s my aunt, who sees in me the sister she failed. There’s Regina, who helped me first learn control who finally has the family she’s wanted. There’s Ed, who has way too many issues when it comes to losing someone. Ahsoka maybe, but even then I’m a reminder of her past… I mean, I guess Damian could do it even if he’s less intense than he is in the dreams?”
There were options, yes. But there were so many complications involved that Raven really didn’t know what to do about it. So she shrugged. She knew she would figure it out, she had to. The risk was too great.
“Sounds complicated.” But at least she was thinking about these things. Had a plan in case she couldn’t handle herself. That just proved to Caleb that she was ‘good’. Not evil or demonic in the slightest. Half demon or not.
“If none of them work out, I could do it.” Was that weird? Offering to hold on to items that could kill her? It wasn’t like he knew her all that well. Although she had healed him once. But that could be a good thing. Detached in a sense in case he had to do what was needed. He was just hoping it would never come to that. “I owe you.”
“Just a bit.” Which also was the story of her life, even before the dreams, when she was still fully human. Back when her biggest concern was the fact her father ran the Russian mob here and all the complications and isolation and loneliness that came with that as she tried to be as far removed from that life as she could. Now her complications involved magic and demonic heritage and having to figure out who she could ask to potentially kill her.
The offer was actually not something she had expected. Especially when he said he owed her. It was an ironic twist. I heal you and then give you the items that can kill me. Fitting in its own right though she supposed.
“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“No problem,” usually this would be where Caleb gave a smirk or a small smile, but neither of those seemed fitting for his offer. “And if there’s anything else I can do, don’t hesitate.”