Who: Leon, Lowell, and Liv (Damn so many L names) When: December 23rd Where: The morgue What: Liv and Lowell share their edibles with Leon. Oh and mistletoe attacks. Rating/Warning: Pretty low! Status: Complete
The one thing Leon appreciated about work was that it was always the same, no matter what time of the year it was. Sure, he managed to get roped into the Secret Santa this year, and some of his coworkers seemed to enjoy playing bad Christmas Carols over and over again, but crime didn’t go on vacation and he wasn’t expected to either.
He walked into the morgue, absently munching on the bagel he’d picked up for lunch that day and scrolling through his phone. “Hey, Liv, do you have that toxicology report?” he asked, and glanced up from his phone.
He paused then. There was Liv, eating lunch as could probably be expected for lunch hour, but she wasn’t alone. Sitting next to her was a man with dark hair, eating what looked to be the same spaghetti that Liv was eating, though Leon knew that probably wasn’t true given the Liv’s particular tastes. The man looked up, a languid smile on his face, but before he could greet Leon, Leon turned to Liv. “Who the hell is that?”
Shit. The toxicology report. She knew there was something she had forgotten. Before she got the chance to reply and attempt an excuse, Leon was asking about Lowell. Rude much? Couldn’t a zombie enjoy her lunch break with another zombie in peace?
“Hey Leon,” Liv replied glancing up from her spaghetti and meatbrains. “This is Lowell,” she gave a nod in his direction. “Lowell, Leon.” Damn, try to say that five times fast. What was with all the L names?
Lowell just barely managed to stifle a giggle at their names. “Liv, Lowell, and Leon. What a trio we make,” he said in a jocular voice. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Leon. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“You can’t just invite your dates into the morgue, Liv,” Leon said, a little exasperated. First she was getting on his ass about morgue security - as if he could do anything about that - and now she was just inviting random rock stars into the place. He’d be more star struck if he hadn’t already heard so much about the guy from Liv, and had already decided that he didn’t particularly care for him.
“You know I’m sitting right here, right?” Lowell asked. “Maybe a ‘hello, how do you do?’”
“Dude, chill,” Liv replied her voice utterly calm. Leon got too worked up sometimes. “Here,” Liv said getting up from where she was sitting and grabbing a pit filled brownie off her desk. “Have a brownie.” Maybe that would help Leon relax a bit.
Leon frowned as he took the brownie. “There isn’t anything weird in this, is there? Like hot sauce?” Or brains, but he didn’t say that much. At least not while Lowell was sitting there.
“Nah,” Liv replied. “No brains either.” She was sure he needed the reassurance and she had no issue saying it in front of Lowell. Hell the guy was munching on some himself still. “Just some herb,” because she knew she should at least warn Leon. Even high she knew better than to ‘drug’ a cop. Especially Leon. While he may chill for a bit, knowing him he’d end up pissed later. Threatening to lock her up.
Marijuana may have been legalized in California, but it was still strange for Lowell to hear someone so casually tell a cop that she had handed him a weed brownie. Especially since his limited interaction with the police officer so far had told him that he would not be okay with that.
Much to Lowell’s surprise, Leon frowned thoughtfully at the bownie, muttered “herbs, huh,” and then took a bite. “Tastes a little funky,” Leon said, taking another bite. “Maybe skip the herbs next time.” Lowell stifled a snort of laughter behind his hand, and Leon shot him a scowl, not entirely sure what was so funny but feeling like he was the butt of a joke somehow. “Does your boss know he’s down here? And do you have the report ready for me or not?”
Liv almost started laughing herself. Good ol’Leon. Oh well. Couldn’t say she didn’t warn him. “Yeah,” Liv replied giving Leon a ‘duh’ look. “Lowell’s cool. Don’t worry so much.” And hopefully soon he wouldn’t be.
“I’ll have the report tomorrow,” she added in a bored tone. She was enjoying her lunch date with Lowell too much to get to it now. Plus it was practically the holidays. Reports could wait.
Leon gave an annoyed sigh. Liv wasn’t the only one who decided to take it easy for the holidays. Seemed like the only people who didn’t take it easy around Christmas were criminals. He wondered if the guys in Theft and Fraud had to deal with this too. Their workload usually increased this time of year.
“Fine, tomorrow at the latest,” Leon said. The Christmas spirit was not strong in him, but he realized belatedly that Liv probably had tomorrow off anyway. “You can e-mail them to me if it’s easier.”
Just how Liv wanted to spend her Christmas Eve, emailing reports to Leon. Though she supposed it was only fair due to how much she had slacked off the past week. She was still about to protest though, but before she could there was mistletoe suddenly floating above her head. Before Liv even knew what was happened she was kissing Leon.
It took Leon a moment to process that one moment he was scolding Liv for slacking off, and the next her lips were on his, his hand pressed to the back of her head, but Lowell caught on nearly right away and was at first confused, then a little annoyed. He didn’t know where the mistletoe had come from, but there were some traditions that were totally okay to ignore.
“Hey, back off man.” His chair scraped against the floor as he stood up, and he forcibly shoved Leon off Liv, though being conscious not to use his full zombie strength. “What’s going on here?”
If Liv was on any other brain she might have slapped Leon. Even if she knew this wasn’t entirely his fault. She had been in Orange County long enough to know that strange shit just happened. “Everyone calm down,” Liv said looking from Leon to Lowell. “This has got to be some weird Orange County thing.” No offense to Leon or anything, but he was just her favorite detective. He had a girlfriend, and she had Lowell. There was no attraction to him at all.
Leon wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened, but he did know that he had no intention of repeating it. And suddenly he was stricken with the thought of Revy finding out. Part of him felt like he really should tell her that he’d just inexplicably made-out with Liv, but he was half worried that either he or Liv, or both, would end up with a new bullet wound if Revy did find out.
Lowell, however, was perfectly willing to take Liv at her word. The Orange County had turned him into a zombie after all, and while that wasn’t as bad as one might expect, it was definitely in the realm of weird. Probably weirder than mysteriously disappearing mistletoes - he saw now that the one he’d noticed earlier was now nowhere to be found.
“Maybe it had something to do with that mistletoe that was just here,” Lowell offered helpfully, and even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t stop the amused smile that crossed his face. “Maybe it’s just travelling all over the county making people kiss.”
“Seems plausible,” Liv agreed walking back over to Lowell. She was a bit relieved that he wasn’t upset about the whole thing. Just went with it. Probably wouldn’t have if it was before the whole zombie thing. Orange County weirdness was something you had to experience to fully believe.
“Anything else?” she asked Leon. As in any more demands for her right before Christmas. Not any more random kisses, thanks.
The detective blushed belatedly, as if it finally actually clicked what he had done. “No,” he said. “No, that’s all. I want the toxicology report by ten sharp,” he said, an arbitrary time that wasn’t entirely needed, though it seemed to make him feel a little better reasserting his authority before he turned and hurried out of the morgue.
Lowell watched him go, almost thankful for the random kiss since it meant he got to see the cop completely out of his element, and then he turned to Liv. “Kissing other guys right in front of me?” he tsked, giving her a teasingly suggestive look. “I think you’re going to need to make that up to me.”
Liv just rolled her eyes at Leon. She knew his demand didn’t mean much. She’d get the report in, or not. Right now though she had some making up to do with Lowell. “You know,” she smirked wrapping her arms around his neck. “I think that can be arranged.”