InsaneJournal

Who: Raven
What: Dealing with dream fall out
When: 16 December 2016
Where: Raven's work, then streets, to New York
Warnings: Low
Status: Narrative | Complete

Dreaming about traveling to different countries to try and figure out who the traitor was? That was exhausting enough. Raven was just happy that classes were over for the quarter so that it didn't affect her studying for finals and writing. But of course it couldn't just stop there. No. As could only be expected, there was unnecessary stress such as being chased through the woods of Beijing and having to go back to where she'd been 'reborn'. To bringing someone back to life. Well... new body. The spirit had never died. And she was doing it all alone besides checking in with all the different Teen Titans who had left to do their own things, trying to figure out which of them had stolen the book. Figuring out who it was.

It should have been easy to let go of the others. To do this on her own, different team and all. Besides, the reasoning she let them believe would work. But that didn't meant she didn't miss the team work at times, or just miss having a family of sorts, even while she questioned just who she was following the whole reborn thing because of the Church of Blood.

But then there was bringing Jericho back, the guilt over being unable to do the same for Conner as his spirit had moved on so it wasn't the same and then being taken by the Titans East. Being chained and unable to leave. The screams. The figures of her friends derailing her, trying to make her lose control. Knowing how she wanted that connection all the while poking at the very real fears and insecurities.... the worry of Him. Getting out. Getting the Titans. The death of Duela. Of Bart.

But it was the psychological torture dreams that recycled even after in the dreams she had decided to try high school and have a normal life. She tried that in Orange County, too. Sometimes it worked, others? Not so much. Especially during the holiday season.

It was undoubtedly the stress of finals and just all the piqued emotions and holiday stress that had Raven on edge. The prickling of emotions just beneath the surface, wanting to come out. The taunts from the false forms of those she cared about coming at her, urging her to lose control. Mocking her for the need of it. The fact that they could never trust her because one day she would again give into Trigon, she would forever be bound to him even if she had supposedly be cleansed of his influence when her body had been destroyed....

At the moment, Raven was in the breakroom with one of the cats from the cafe. She didn't want to deal with people. She had ended up here hoping she'd just need to take care of the cats, not deal with people but that hadn't been the case. At least right now there weren't people to bother her. She could meditate. Focus.

Riddle me this: Why couldn't the Raven afford any friends? Because she was too cheep

All the sounds, the sights, it's all a lot for your fragile psyche to take, isn't it?

I bet you can feel all your emotions struggling to break free, like birds from a cage, am I right?

Let them go, let them go, let them go! Let those emotions go, Raven. After all, what's the worse than could happen?

Eyes flashing, Raven's head snapped up as she heard someone walk in which was dangerous when you were a half demon who was on edge and had to control your emotions. Because she nearly sent the poor girl through the wall before her eyes returned to normal as she blinked.

"Are you okay...?"

".....I should go."

"....yeah. I'll let them know you got really sick."

Thank Azar that her coworker didn't bother to ask questions. Probably part of living in Orange County. And the fact that famous Christmas characters had been making an appearance the past two weeks, on top of everything else that had happened in just that year. Shaken, Raven went and grabbed her things before leaving, not quite sure what she had in mind or where she was going to go. She was just...walking. And nearly ran into her father. Stumbling back as she could have sworn she saw Trigon's face overlap, the teen managed to dissolve into the shadows before he realized what had happened.

This wasn't working. She needed to get out of Orange County. And for whatever reason, when things were ungodly loud in Orange County, they were quiet in New York. More people, but it was quiet, it didn't feel as oppressive. First things first. Grabbing Ed and dragging him with her. It was instinct at this point, and as they didn't have to worry about school right now.... Portaling into her boyfriend's room, Raven just threw his red coat at him.

"We're going to New York." At least they had whatever understanding it was between them that this wasn't the strangest thing to happen and if he really needed to get back, she'd bring him back then hide away in the city on her own. But for now, it was grabbing Ed's hand and portaling them to the house she apparently now owned thanks to Zatanna signing a lease into her name for an old family house on Brighton Beach. They could figure the rest out from there.