Esmeralda dances to the rhythm of the tambourine (changewillcome) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-12-10 22:25:00 |
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The rate of dreams this time around so far had seemed to slow down. Though of course once she acknowledged that, they were bound to pick up. However, Esmeralda already had a fairly decent idea on how they would go as they were fairly similar to the ones she'd had before. The Feast of Fools had been a bit more... she wasn't quite sure. But with Frollo as the judge as opposed to archdeacon? There was no way that could end well. It had felt good to challenge him so openly though. Given the power dynamics and his position though, Esmeralda really wasn't all that surprised.
It was a challenge she wished she had more chance to utilize here. The hatred was everywhere, it was as if it had picked up. Her concerns the previous month were becoming reality. She meant what she had said to Kitty, that she believed things would be better, that the world would eventually become kinder. Maybe not today, maybe not in the next few years if the trends were anything to go off of. But things had already improved from how they had once been. As painful as slow progress was, it was still progress. It was proof that her hope and believe wasn't completely misplaced. If there was anything she could learn from her dreams, it was that. Besides, she and the others had a place here. An illegal place as they had come in with fake documents, but permanent all the same.
The night had gone as it always did, though it seemed that with the colder weather and snow, that more people were apt to come into the Court. All the better really. More money meant less stress. She danced. She served her drinks, she flirted. She kept an eye on Grantaire when he was there. It was life and it was familiar. Once the night was done, Esmeralda had closed up and gone to sleep and there were dreams once more. Going into Notre Dame to apologize to Quasimodo, sassing off with Phoebus only for him to betray her. Or... it was hard to tell really. It was like he was trying to help her, saying she had declared sanctuary. Frollo and his implied threat. Gypsies don't do well within stone walls. As if she wanted to always be on the move? Hunted? All any of them wanted was a place to call their own, but their were banned beyond that one day when they didn't have to hide.
He wasn't wrong though, not entirely. With no option but to stay in one place, Esmeralda felt trapped.
The archdeacon in this set of dreams was much kinder. But with mass coming, Esmeralda found herself wandering through Notre Dame, the candles. Seemingly transfixed by their Christ. Weren't they all children of God? So many people came in, the rich, or just those who had some form of comfort, seeking things to ask for and she knew that she had nothing to ask for. She had survived this long already and there were so many others....
Waking up, Esmeralda rubbed her neck absently before pulling on a shrug and heading up to the roof of the Court of Miracles. It was cold out, which was to be expected with the constant snow (not that it was a lot, just enough really. But it was still cold.) However, the night sky was clear. And she could see meteors falling. She recalled her conversation with Kitty, about the wishes, how before they happened, there was a meteor shower. Shooting stars.
If she could wish, what would it be for?
For herself? I ask for nothing, I can get by Nothing. It wasn't just a sentiment from the dreams. No, even before she'd had them the first time, let alone now.... Esmeralda was fine with her lot. Could it be stressful? Of course, but there were always those who were so much worse off. But I know so many less lucky than I.Those who were in constant fear, a fear that might be more real for people as the hate crimes rose. The struggles all over the globe. No. Esmeralda was doing well all things considered. Please help my people, the poor and down trod... I thought we all were the children of God. God help the outcasts, children of God... If she could wish, truly wish, it would be that her people were okay, that they had help but it was far too wide reaching, she wished for the world to be kinder. And she knew it wouldn't happen. Not yet. She had come to peace with that, really. Before she had moved to the States, but especially following her first set of dreams.
"You should come inside."
Hearing a voice, Esmeralda looked up and smiled to Clopin. Always so worried, perhaps more so since the pyre and temporarily dying incident.
"In a bit. I want to watch the stars for a bit more."
She could almost feel the questioning look, the disapproval mixed with concern as was all fond exasperation. Undoubtedly he agreed with Grantaire about how she was naive and hopeful and a bit too heads in the clouds at times. Just as she was fiery and passionate and believed in justice and the goodness of others so that she would fight for it. Either way, he decided to leave her to her stargazing. As the last star fell, Esmeralda shivered and stood up, feeling the snow fall on her face. For a time, in the cold and silence and clear night sky, she felt at peace. Finally though, she headed back inside and to the basement and her room to try to sleep once more.