Who: Max Rockatansky madman & Capable _capable_ What: A Doctor Visit When: October Where: OC Health Department Rating: Audience Discretion is Advised Warnings: Discussion of drugs used to treat erectile dysfunction, psychiatric medication, and Max is genuinely a mental patient. Status: Complete
~*~
The waiting area of the Health Department office was cold. They kept it that way to lessen the spread of germs. Disease. Max knew the reasoning even if he didn't care for the effects. His sun-dried skin was not fond of cold weather or accustomed to air-control. He wore the same style of clothing every day: t-shirt, undershirt, cargo pants, utilitarian socks, and military boots. The addition of a vest depended on what kind of working Max anticipated for the day. Sometimes it helped to have the vest for the extra pocket space.
He wished he owned something with long sleeves for visits to the doctor.
He was grateful he didn't have to visit the doctor enough to have to worry about purchasing anything with long sleeves.
"Hate doctors."
Capable was sitting patiently beside him. Her body was a welcome warmth; Max made it a point to lean closer to her as he mumbled near her ear. She was good for listening, Capable was, and Max appreciated her more than he could put into words. There had never been a question of him going alone to the doctor. Max wouldn't have made it sitting alone in the cold for the time it took to get to a doctor. He'd have given up. Left. It didn't take precognition to know such was true when it was the way it was for him.
"Glad you're here. Going to talk to the doctor about---you know. Would you come back too or prefer to sit out here? They won't ask for any exam. Nothing physical required beyond the usual studies of blood pressure and temperature and weighing in as if an animal being sent off for slaughter."
Max made a sound of annoyance at the thought. He wasn't looking forward to it. Any of it. There came a time when it wasn't about what he wanted though. Relationships weren't one-sided. It took two for a relationship to be formed, otherwise one was on an island alone, adrift at sea, no ships in sight; Max was very tired of being alone at sea. For all he loved the beach, loved water, he wanted desperately to have someone to share a shore with again. The wives offered him that---Splendid offered him more than that. More than he deserved. This was the least he could do.
~*~
“I don’t like them either, there’s mostly always something upsetting about them” Capable admitted, “But being here together isn’t too bad” she smiled, “It helps a little it right?”
Capable was happy to be here as support for Max, if it helped him then it was something she would happily do. She didn’t have the same level of anxiety that Max did and so could easily sit with him and offer whatever she could to make it easier for him. It was the place they had met after all, the waiting room of their individual doctors appointments.
“I’ll come with you as long as you want me there” she told him, giving him a smile and wrapping an arm around his, “I don’t mind at all. Whatever you need Max. I’m here to support you, always”
As always Capable didn’t think what Max wanted or was offered was more than he deserved. He was one of the most amazing people she knew and she’d do anything for him.
~*~
Max nodded at Capable's agreement. His hand moved of its own volition to pat at her arm where it had entwined with his own, a sturdy living thing for him to grasp in a world which smelled of death to him. Antiseptics and astringents stung his nose far worse than the salt from the ocean water blowing up with the waves. If only he'd never become the madman he was sitting there in that waiting room, Max remembered the man he'd been before the shift in his thought patterns.
He remembered sanity, had even been given a taste of it once before again with Splendid.
"Thank you."
The words were simple yet their meaning was heartfelt. Max started at the sound of his name being called. He felt frozen in place in his chair, his eyes squinting, pupils shot as he stared at the nurse who was impatiently asking after him.
"Maximillian Rockatansky? Is there a Mr. Rockatansky in the waiting area? The doctor can see you now."
His eyes shifted to Capable as he looked to her as if she had the answers. The only thing he understood in that moment was how warm, alive, and welcome she was at his side. What should he do? Get up? Say his name? He could do those things, couldn't he? Usually they recognized him and came over. This was different though---this was the medical doctor, not the psychiatrist or a caseworker. Max had made this choice for his chance with a real life with a real family. He simply didn't know how he was supposed to risk taking it once he was there.
~*~
Capable would always be a rock when Max needed her to be, she found it easier to put her own fears and doubts aside when it was to help her friends and she would do that now.
When he was called, she slipped her hand to his and squeezed, “It’s okay. I’m here” she told him, “We can do this” Looking over at the nurse she smiled, “We’re here, if you tell me which room we’re in we’ll make our way there” She knew they probably wouldn’t have been prepared enough to read Max’s notes which annoyed her a little but she wasn’t going to let it show.
“Come on, come with me now” she encouraged as she slowly stood, not letting go of Max as she did so. She’d help him through this and the staff would just have to be patient with them.
~*~
"Now?"
Standing was hard, painful because Max had forgotten to be mindful of his knee in his panic. His breathing was off. Everything was loud, so very loud. He focused on lowering his voice so he wouldn't be a part of the noise. They put people away who made too much noise. It was possible Max could get thrown away into a locked cell again if he were to make too much noise. Capable would help him. She was helping him. Her arm felt as solid as his own, as strong as his own, stronger than his even as he leaned on her for strength.
"Now," Max agreed while he nodded, his eyes fixed on Capable while he followed her obediently to where the nurse directed them.
She didn't make him stop to weigh him or take his blood pressure. Neither of those things would be missed if he were a normal patient; Max knew he wasn't normal and the nurse seemed to understand better now as she directed her attention to Capable instead of him. That would be good. Max could answer questions. If someone could ask him in a way he understood, Max could answer anything at all. Capable made him feel strong. He wasn't strong enough to feel ready to do this alone.
"Do they need all the vitals? Why aren't they asking for those? Is it not necessary?"
He couldn't remember the last time he'd had his vitals taken. Max blocked out most of his doctor visits.
~*~
Capable wouldn’t let them put Max anywhere, she’d fight tooth and nail for him. There was nothing wrong with him that meant he should be locked away, to make him better he just needed to be with them. With the people who loved him. Capable was convinced that was better than any medication he could take. Love and acceptance could work wonders.
She held him tightly, letting him know she was there to be leaned on and she would support him.
“It’s okay, we’ll get into the room and then they can tell us exactly what they need from you” Capable said, there was no reason they couldn’t get everything they needed once they were in the private room and she said as much to the nurse, who nodded in response, “Of course” she told Capable, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” she added, as she led them down the hall to the room that was to be used for the appointment.
~*~
'Sorry---didn't realize.'
Only half of what the nurse was saying registered to Max. His breathing felt labored, loud, so loud in his ears. One of his therapists had called it 'shellshock' only Max had never been shelled. Words were too literal in his mind. Why didn't people use words which meant what they said instead of what someone was supposed to know what they were saying? He wasn't psychic. Max was insane. That didn't mean he believed he had special powers or magic at his disposal or believed himself to be some sort of alien.
"Sit on the table."
Max mumbled it to Capable as his knee almost folded under him when he tried to step up using his bad leg. He put his weight on the woman holding onto him and took a deep -loud, loud, too loud- breath before stepping down to use his good leg instead. He could do this. It was only a visit with the doctor. A regular doctor who wouldn't ask him about his mental health or his thoughts wasn't anything to be afraid of the way the psychiatrists or therapists or caseworkers were---this doctor was only supposed to help him have a family again.
Making himself comfortable on the table, he pulled at Capable to have her stand close to him, "Stay here. Right here? Yes?"
~*~
Capable was there every step of the way, holding him steady and taking his weight when he needed her help to get up on the bed. When he tugged her closer she moved automatically, re-wrapping an arm around his to let him know she was there, “Yes, I’m staying right here. Nowhere else I would be” she promised him.
“Are you sure you want to stay for the whole examination?” the nurse asked Capable pointedly, assuming they were together Capable thought with an inward shake of her head.
“Yes, I’m positive. Max doesn’t mind, he’s comfortable with me. I’m his sister” she found herself telling the nurse a little white lie wouldn’t hurt and besides it was true in every way except blood.
~*~
Max found himself nodding along with Capable's words in a non-verbal agreement. Everything she said was the truth to him. She was going to stay with him. He had no secrets from her. She wasn't wanting to leave. He was comfortable -only comfortable really- with her there at his side to keep him calm for the doctors and the nurses and all their medical speeches. It didn't surprise him to hear her say she was his sister. That, too, only got a continued nod from him. They were family, he and Capable and Furiosa and Splendid and her boy, all of them were a family.
He was doing this for his family.
"She stays to help," he explained, "Not very good alone in exam rooms. Easier to have family along. She's here because she's family. Max---I, I am here because I want medication to be intimate with my---"
Max stalled out as he tried to come up with a word for what Splendid was to him. Explaining their relationship with the limited words he knew to use felt wrong, dirty almost. They were in love. They loved one another. They were broken people who were trying to mend themselves with each other and they deserved a chance to be whole again. Whole people formed by a relationship based on love which transcended madness or medicine---that was what they were and that was how Max felt he should say it.
"---better half. She deserves we should try it. The psych drugs make it not possible. Doctor told meself a long time on back could get medication to treat it. Never had a need. Not had a partner since---since the death of my wife. I want a normal life now. Doctor said to come in and we'd talk. Here. Ready to talk. Do you need blood pressure or any of those sorts of things now?"
The nurse shook her head no before murmuring, "One moment. I'll just go get the doctor."
Max waited until she'd gone to tell Capable, "Think we've made her more uncomfortable than us, eh?"
It seemed oddly funny in that moment, funny enough to have him smiling at her even though he still felt off-balance being in a physician's office up on their exam table as if he were a lab animal awaiting testing.
~*~
Capable stayed still and supportive by his side as he spoke, giving him time to get his words in order and out and making sure the nurse did the same. Thankfully she seemed to have realised Max just needed time and was giving it to him.
When she left she grinned at Max, “Makes a change right?” she said, “She’s seen way worse than us and if she hasn’t then this will be good for her. They should get to know the people they are supposed to help” she added, because if the nurse didn’t know Max’s background then how could she help to the best of her ability. It made sense to Capable to at least check the records.
“Hopefully the doctor can help. He should be able to tell you what medication you can take to help and also not interfere with your other medication at the same time” she’d read up a little after Max asked her to accompany him. Capable was not someone who just accepted something because she was told it, not by everybody anyway. She liked to have some of her own knowledge too.
~*~
"Looked it up on the internet---or tried," Max confessed, shrugged his heavy shoulders as if the weight of the world were trying to hold them down, "Got mostly ugly, dirty things. Not so sure computer searches are the best way to go on this one. Glad to have you here."
Capable was a hero in his eyes for standing with him. Some men would have been humiliated to admit in front of one woman much less several he couldn't perform sexually. Max had accepted his limitations as a result of the madness. It was as much a part of him as his name except he could change the one and the other was something he'd been given at his birth. All he had to do was ask for help. They'd give him drugs. Max could take more drugs. He'd gotten very good about taking pills.
His hand clamped around Capable's on his other arm almost without his control and Max forced himself to be gentle while touching her.
Gentle was the way to be with Capable because she was a gentle soul.
The door was opening and he blurted out before the medical people came back in to finish their invasion into his life, "Thank you. Can't ever thank you enough for coming. Wanted to say it again all the same since I thank you. For what this means for our family. Here's hoping for good news."
Max forced himself to put on a neutral expression as the medical staff returned -the nurse who'd come before with a man in a lab coat he could immediately assume to be the doctor- and he reminded himself this was a moment out of time. It was one moment. He could survive it with his sister at his side, his Splendid and Boy waiting on him back in their home. There was no reason to worry. It would all be over soon enough. He'd been offered before. They wouldn't take it back.
It was all going to be just fine.
The line felt as if it were truth to Max for the first time since the death of his wife and his own son; he knew he had all the women in his life to thank for that from Capable holding his arm to Furiosa remembering to have a room for him in their home to Splendid who didn't judge him for this visit's need.
For the first time since his madness had become what felt to be his whole life, Max was able to really think and believe everything was going to be just fine.