daryl dixon (dixonda) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-11-01 00:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, daryl dixon, rick grimes |
Who: Daryl and Rick
What: A Proposal
When: Late October
Where: Their home
Rating/Warnings: Teenish/Thoughts and talk about their dream space.
Status: Complete
The day had been a long one, or so it'd felt that way to Daryl. He was stiff, and sore by the time he went to take a shower that was so hot it'd turned his skin pink. Still it felt good to get the dirt and grime off him, and while his dream self might not have showered all that often - or at all really - he liked to take one every day despite what everyone else might think.
He was tired, but not overly so. Instead he dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, coming back out from the bathroom to the kitchen. He went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, the cold plastic feeling good against the warm palm of his hand.
Screwing the cap off, he took a long pull from the bottle and then reached up to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth. God, the things that they took for granted. He couldn't even begin to number them, and he sure as hell missed them in his dreams.
Going back into the living room, he plopped down on the couch beside Rick. It'd become a nightly routine to sit in the living room and watch something on the television before going to bed, but his brows furrowed slightly at the sight of the tv being off.
Curiously he turned his head to look over at Rick, "What's on your mind?" He asked, turning a little bit to better look at him.
~*~
"The future."
Rick knew it was late enough Carl was plugged into his headphones unable to hear anything outside of whatever he considered music and Judith was sleeping soundly. They were -for all intents and purposes- alone in the house. He'd been talking to people about options for the situation they were in. Everything going on in the Dreams made Rick wish he could put his affairs in order, set things right in the here-and-now, and move on with living his life instead of fixating on another one he couldn't help.
There were times when he wanted to say something to Daryl only to stop himself, worried about how his words might be taken, worried how his considerations might be seen, worried simply on account he was a man who seemed made to worry.
It felt as good a time as any to finally say something in the dark with the only sounds in the house being the two of them and the A/C.
"I talked to some people. Men who've made a commitment to each other. Gotten married. It's legal here now. I've looked into it, filing for a marriage license that is to say, and it's the same for two men as it would be were it a man and a woman."
Rick stopped talking as he brought his hands together, resting his arms on his thighs as he leaned toward Daryl. He clenched his hands tight to try to stop himself from reaching out. The words weren't coming out right. It sounded so clinical. There was nothing clinical about marriage in Rick's mind. He'd meant every word he'd said when he had stood at the altar with Lori before the preacher and all their friends and family and God Himself when he had exchanged vows. Rick didn't want to offer Daryl less.
"What I'm trying to say is we both know what that other world is like for us and we both know how quick it can all be over," Rick swallowed, cleared his throat, "I want the kids taken care of if something happens to me. I want you to have the same rights anyone else sharing my bed, my home, and my life with would deserve. I want you to be able to speak for the kids as their father. I want this house and this land to be in your name the same as in mine. I'm not asking you to change anything. I'm asking if you'd consider us getting married because it's---it's the safe thing to do and it's the right thing to do. I love you the same as I loved Lori. It seems disrespectful to you not to offer you the same rights she had seeing as you hold the same place in my life she did."
~*~
The future. Daryl didn't think of the future much, if at all. He was more of a here and now kind of guy, and making it day by day. He knew that he should think about it, but in the end he just didn't since he didn't know what the future would bring.
Daryl settled back against the couch, head lolling to the side as Rick began talking. Marriage? His brows furrowed low over his eyes, and he studied Rick for a moment. He hadn't seemed this serious since the night Daryl came into his bedroom.
Swallowing, Daryl reached up to scratch absently at the stubble on his face and he listened to him explain a little further before saying anything. It made sense to marry just in the event that anything happened to either one of them, and considering their dream world? Yeah, that could happen at any given point in time.
Dropping his hand back down to his lap, Daryl looked over at him. "Only if you get down on one knee and do it the right way." Daryl couldn't help the smirk that tugged up the corners of his lips even if he still looked ragged from life and the dreams. He'd never entertained the thought of marriage, even if it was legal for gay couples now, but he thought that it was a good idea. "I think you're right. I think it's the best thing to do even if I ain't ever thought about getting married before." He lifted a shoulder, "But I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone but you."
~*~
The fact Daryl Dixon had never considered marriage before was hardly news to Rick. He was well aware of the life Daryl had lived before he'd made his way to California. Merle being the only family Daryl could lay claim to back before and Merle being---Merle? Rick didn't suppose he'd have thought much on marriage if he'd been Daryl. He didn't let himself consider the other part of why Daryl might not have imagined a wedding or a proposal.
Being homosexual wasn't a sin to be feared when the people considered into the fact were already living in Hell.
Sliding off the couch onto his knee, Rick adjusted awkwardly until he had one up and the other down to support his weight. It wasn't the same as when he'd proposed to Lori. He'd been so much younger then and his body had been able to move better. Daryl hurt in places Rick didn't which meant he had no fear he'd be judged on how slow he was moving. What he did worry about was how he'd not bothered to go get rings---wasn't that something he should have considered?
"I don't mind getting on a knee for you, Daryl Dixon. I won't mind getting on both knees for you in the future as long as it's a future we share together. I'm sorry I don't have a ring to make this the best proposal. All the same, I love you and I want to share my life with you. I want you to be my family. Will you marry me?"
His face burned as he considered the double meaning of getting onto his knee or knees as it were for Daryl, but he wouldn't take it back.
Rick found he liked being with Daryl in a way he'd not been able to fully embrace being with Lori. The familiarity of his masculine frame was comforting and the power of knowing he'd made the man respond to him? It was the sexiest thing Rick Grimes had ever experienced in his life.
~*~
He'd only been joking when he'd told Rick that he'd only agree if he got down on one knee. Leave it to Rick Grimes to take him seriously. "Rick…" he started to protest except the other was talking and Daryl blinked.
Well wasn't that something?
He never thought those words would slip past Rick Grimes's lips, but there it was. "You don't have to apologize. The words are enough." Daryl replied, a half smile tugging up one corner of his mouth. "I love you too. I know I don't say it enough when I should but…" he didn't think he had to explain why the words were hard for him to say. He'd only known love for a night, and while Merle might've cared about his brother still he knew Merle would've sold him for a dollar if he thought it'd get him ahead. Love had never come easy for Daryl, but he knew that he felt it for Rick and he'd only ever felt it for him.
"Yes, I'll marry you." He teased again, although he leaned forward to capture Rick's lips with his own.
~*~
Instinct kicked in to find Rick's hands reaching up to wrap into Daryl's hair, around the back of his neck, holding him in place while Rick kissed him more passionately than he'd ever dared with his wife in this life. Love was in the kiss, but mostly the kind of desperate desire which came from knowing how precious and fragile life was as a result of their other life. They weren't promised the ability to make it through a day there.
Here?
They could have a real future here.
"I want to get bands. Simple ones. We could pick them out together. I still got my ring from---I don't want to wear the ring I wore with Lori. That life is over. This life is the one I want. It is the one I choose. You are the life I choose. Would that be alright?"
Some men wouldn't want to wear a wedding band if they weren't prepared to answer questions about who they were married to or any of the other questions which came with such an obvious symbol. Rick wasn't going to make Daryl were some public statement of what they had in private. He only wanted to offer exactly what he'd said: equality. There was absolutely zero difference in his heart for how he felt about this man than how he'd felt for his wife, the mother of his children, and his first partner til death did them part.
"You can tell me no. You don't have to wear a ring if you don't want one. I'm not some---crazed dictator here. I'm only a simple farmer. You know what you're getting all the way around, but I promise you, I swear to you, all I'll ever be is a simple farmer unless this world changes in some way I can't account for leading to a choice between farming and fighting for survival. Know that your choice will always matter with me, Daryl. Know that."
Rick kissed Daryl again, fiercely, before releasing him and shifting position back onto the couch, his knees popping in protest to their ill-treatment.
~*~
Daryl kissed him back just as fiercely, lips and tongue working against Rick's as if he'd never get a chance to kiss him again. Daryl enjoyed these moments, the moments when he could really feel the love Rick held for him.
He knew that Rick loved him. It was in the way he acted toward him every day and had very little to do with the words that he spoke. Daryl let out a long breath once the kiss was broken, his hand now resting on Rick's arm. "It's alright. I don't mind wearing a ring for you, for us." He didn't mind sharing with the world that he was in something deep enough to want to marry the person he loved.
Hell, he'd be proud to come to it.
"I'm pretty sure that even in the dreams my voice matters to you." He'd become Rick's right hand in a way after Shane had gone off the deep end. They'd all seen it coming, or at least Daryl had. It was only a matter of time before Shane snapped and well, he didn't blame them for what happened in the end.
He was about to speak when Rick's lips were on his again. He kissed him hard, mouth working over Rick's until his entire body felt as if it were on fire, and then Rick was gone and back up on the couch. Daryl glanced over at Rick and laughed softly. "Do you want to plan a wedding, something small for our family here and friends?"
~*~
Nodding slowly, Rick agreed, "I want that. Yes. I wish more people we know from---I wish the rest of our family was here to see it. I know we've got good friends here all the same. We should do it right. It'll matter to Carl."
They weren't overly affectionate in front of Carl or Judith, but Rick knew his kids were aware Daryl was more than a houseguest. He wasn't hiding it. Carl smiled at him sometimes when he caught him looking at Daryl and Rick knew it was his son's way of admitting approval. They'd suffered so many losses. It was nice to imagine they could have a gain, too. A marriage would be a gain for all of them because it would solidify to the world what they already knew in their hearts: they were a family.
Rick tried and failed to imagine Daryl in a suit and tie.
"I think we should be true to ourselves so don't go thinking I'm making you get a haircut or a tuxedo rental. We can find a good minister. Someone to say things proper. Get our license. Make sure our rings are ready. I figure we could do up a lot of fresh farm foods here. Serve it family-style? Set up a big table outside maybe and enjoy the California weather. Pretty sure there's at least a dozen caterers around here who could make us up a nice cake and I know a great butcher to get our main courses at a good price. What do you want to go into it? Anything special you'd like to do? A song or some kind of food or do you have a preference on the type of service? I want this to feel like it's yours because it is and it's mine and it's for us so it should feel that way for both of us."
~*~
Daryl nodded in agreement, "We do have good folks here, but I do wish the rest of them were here too." They'd had this talk many times before, and a part of Daryl wished that the others from their Dreams were here in the OC another part of him, however, didn't want them to have to deal with the dreams.
The dreams were a terrible and bleak place, and Daryl did dread going to bed every night.
A wedding was a strange thing to think about, since again, he'd been sure that he was never going to find anyone special enough that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. With Rick it was easy, would be easy, and he was looking forward to it already.
Daryl didn't think for one moment that Rick would make him, or attempt to make him change anything. Still, he didn't mind getting dressed in a suit for a big day like their wedding. "Farm fresh sounds good. I wouldn't mind having fried chicken for our reception meal." Rick knew how much Daryl enjoyed fried chicken, it was honestly one of his favorite meals outside of steak but it would be cheaper in the long run for them to do it this way.
"Otherwise, I figure we'll figure it out. I don't have any preference when it comes to songs or anything like that." Daryl wasn't the romantic type, but maybe, just maybe he could figure something out. "I'd like to write my own vows though." He glanced over at Rick, "Well, as best I can."
~*~
They were going to do this thing together. Be a family. Have a future. Happiness was a fairytale in the world they Dreamed of together yet separately while in the same bed on long nights and every night was long thanks to those damn Dreams. Rick couldn't quite believe he'd managed to man up enough to ask much less to know Daryl had said yes. He had thought they'd might argue about it. It had crossed his mind he could have been overstepping his bounds with Daryl, asking for the kind of commitment involved in marriage.
Rick felt foolish for that fear now.
How could he have ever doubted Daryl's dedication to him and their family?
"I like that idea. Saying the words we feel ourselves. Making the kind of promises we know and understand and want everyone to hear so they all know what this means to us. That's a good idea. I think you'll manage. I only hope I manage enough to do you proud because I am so proud to have you in my life, Daryl. I am so lucky. We are so lucky. This chance? It's not going to get taken for granted. I am certain of that if I am certain of anything."
They could definitely do fried chicken.
Rick laughed as he shook his head, "Fried chicken is a definite must. It'll compliment my grilled corn on the cob and coleslaw. We'll do a baked potato bar. People'll like that. It's fun but not fancy. We'll figure all this out. I know we will. For now? I want to take my fiancee---to bed."
He stood to reach down and tug at Daryl's shirt, pulling him up to kiss him again.
"I want to make sure the man I love knows I am the happiest man on Earth right now. I have a feeling I'll figure out how to do that right fast and in a hurry. Now, c'mon then before I lose my nerve and start worrying over whether we'll need to get flowers or tabletoppers or engraved invites or some other nonsense not to be worried over this late."
Rick was confident in their ability to make this work even if he was still anxious about whether he pleased Daryl enough as a lover. They had time on their side here. With a marriage promised in the future, they'd have the rest of their lives for him to figure it all out and Rick was looking forward to it. He was looking forward to having a real future with a real family filled up to the brim with real love.
They were the lucky ones.