Natalia (the_black_widow) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-10-22 14:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, natasha romanoff (black widow), stahma tarr |
Who: Stahma and Natasha
What: surprise visits and alien bath rituals and feels
When: Recently
Where: Stahma's place
Status: complete
Rating: PG-13
Stahma had decided on a bath. At least in this world, she didn’t have to fight Datak about it being terrible that a Castithan woman wished to bathe by herself. Not that she wouldn’t welcome company if a certain redhead found her way over here in time, but she did enjoy having that relaxation time. So she dressed in her bathing attire and drew a bath. While the tub was filling, she pulled her hair up to keep it from getting wet. She then tested the water temperature, adjusting it a bit so it was warm, but not uncomfortably so. She then attempted to decide if she wanted to add some bath salts or something to it to enhance the experience.
It was the calm before the storm. Even though her dreams were done (at least they seemed like it, Natasha was certain she’d dream about the world Laura had continued to dream about, eventually), she thought that they were going to enter the holiday season. That meant everything from Christmas Wishes to literal Halloween scares. So she wanted to drop by and surprise her girlfriend while they had the chance.
Except Stahma didn’t seem to be home, at least not at first glance. Tilting her head, Natasha listened, and then followed the sound of water.
Stahma added a little scent to the water. Lavender, to be precise. She added only a small amount considering she had quite the sense of smell. She turned the water off, and that was when she thought she heard something. Standing upright, that was when Natasha’s scent hit her and she smiled, turning around to greet her girlfriend, definitely not caring that she was wearing next to nothing. Natasha had seen her naked, so this was nothing.
“Now this is a very pleasant surprise,” she greeted.
Nat’s eyes roamed over her. Somehow, this was better than naked. Somehow this hit several kinks that Natasha didn’t even know she had. Her voice was a little thick as she replied. “If you heard me coming I’m losing my touch.”
Her joke would be more effective if her gaze wasn’t somewhere between Stahma’s neck and her knees.
The way Natasha’s gaze roamed over her was certainly one she liked. A sensual smile crossed her face. “It wasn’t so much hearing you as it was smelling you,” she countered as she stepped closer to her, clearly playing on how, and where, Natasha was looking at her. “Though I am more than happy to see you.”
“I’ll have to work on that then.” Natasha said. She still couldn’t bring her eyes to Stahma’s face. She did step closer. “Fancy me joining you? Or is there some kind of ritual involved here?” She didn’t want to impose, if she wasn’t welcome.
“I wish you luck on that.” Stahma smirked. “You are very welcome. It is actually taboo for a Castithan woman to bathe alone. I would certainly enjoy your company.” She wasn’t exactly sad about the fact that Natasha wouldn’t have anything to wear in the bath. Unless she asked for something to put on, of course. Stahma’s own gaze ran down Natasha. “I hope you do not mind the slight scent of lavender I added to the water.” And to a normal human’s nose, it was slight.
“Well then.” Natasha unzipped her jacket, shrugging it off and hanging it up, before she started a slow striptease. It wasn’t a sexy one, at least not the kind reserved for the bedroom, but she made sure to do it slowly enough that it could distract her girlfriend. “I’m okay with Lavender. That’s actually...ironic.”
And oh Stahma was certainly distracted. She watched the clothes slowly reveal the skin beneath, and now it was Stahma’s turn to be unable to raise her gaze above Natasha’s chest. She was very beautiful, her body toned and speaking to the training she’d had. Her muscles hinted at the strength she carried. “Why ironic?”
There were a couple new scars, one above her hip and the other on her thigh that vaguely looked like a bullet flesh wound. Natasha had been busy, but doing what was her little secret. She stepped over to Stahma. “Lavender has historically been a way to refer to gay people.”
Stahma noticed the new scars, but she knew better than to pry into where they came from overly deeply. She managed to lift her gaze back to Natasha’s face. “Is it? I did not know that.” While Stahma had always known she wasn’t heterosexual, she hadn’t exactly been able to grow up embracing anything else. She leaned in as though she were going to kiss Natasha, but stopped just short, chuckling softly and pulling back. “Come join me,” she beckoned as she backed away and moved to the tub.
“It might be a western thing. Or a human thing, depending on which perspective you’re coming from.” She let herself be beckoned, catching Stahma’s cheek with her hand and kissing her, before stepping into the tub. “Is there anything… I should do?”
“That would explain it.” On both counts, really. Castithans weren’t prudes when it came to sex, despite the fact they were extremely religious. Sexuality was embraced in all its various forms, more or less. Though of course producing male offspring was the driving force of their society. She returned the kiss, waiting for Natasha to get in before she joined her. “No. The bathing ritual is not that different from being at a public pool, save for the fact one is meant to clean themselves. I was actually going to speak with an architect and convert one of the rooms downstairs and put in a proper bath.” By proper, she meant more like the one from her dreams, though there was quite the similarity between the Castithan bath, Roman bathhouses and Turkish bathhouses.
“You should. If it would make you feel more at home, or more comfortable.” Natasha slid down and tried to get comfortable. Stahma’s tub was really nice, and she quickly settled in. She always did love a good bath. Her eyes followed all of Stahma’s movements, and she reached down to playfully tug at one of Stahma’s toes. “What do you miss most? From your culture?”
“It would be a bit more comfortable, especially if I were to have company.” Stahma smirked a bit. At the question, she actually had to think. “It is difficult to say. Having lived life here, I honestly dislike the Castithan culture. It is highly oppressive towards women, much like western society used to be before women began taking steps to correct that. However, if I were to choose something, I do miss the communal bathing. Sometimes I miss the religious ceremonies. Though I more miss my home planet of Casti than anything else.”
“As long as that company is only me,” Natasha teased. She was open to a great many things, but sharing was not exactly one of them. She’d make an exception of it was a Castithan need, of course. She’d gotten over worse things. “I can understand that. There’s always good things in the bad, and bad things in the good. This part isn’t so bad at all.”
“I would have it no other way,” she returned, fingers lightly brushing against Natasha’s calf. Stahma didn’t mind sharing, but she didn’t necessarily like sharing at the same time. Threesomes weren’t her thing, so she was perfectly fine with Natasha being her only company. “Indeed. I can still appreciate my culture, but after living in Defiance and seeing the freedom human women had, I began to want more than to simply be a trophy wife, I believe is the term.”
Natasha shivered, reaching down to stroke Stahma’s leg right back. She shifted so that her leg went between Stahma’s legs. It would let her be a little evil if she so chose. “You can be assured you’ll never be my trophy wife.”
Even with Natasha’s leg being between hers, that meant Stahma’s was between Natasha’s. She could certainly be evil right back if it came to that. As it was, she stayed with the stroking Natasha’s leg. “I am happy for that. I do not do well gathering dust.” She teased.
“You’re the least dusty person I’ve ever known,” Natasha replied. She looked at Stahma with fondness in her eyes, and some stormy emotion that she didn’t have the word for. Or maybe she did have the word for it but lacked the required ability to process that emotion.
That look in Natasha’s eyes warmed her heart. She loved that look, and she’d rarely, if ever, seen it directed at her. “You make me so.” After all, Natasha embraced her need to be her own woman and not be told what to do and when and how to do it. “You make me feel free.” That alone was frightening enough, not to mention what she was feeling for Natasha.
Natasha smiled at her. There were a few, rare circumstances where she’d have to lock Stahma up. She hoped it never came to that, but Natasha was nothing if not willing to sacrifice her own happiness if it meant protecting others. Or protecting Stahma. “I…” Might be in love with you “You do the same to me.”
Hopefully things never came to that. Stahma preferred the way things were currently, and while she may still have underworld connections, she was trying to be better in some ways. She could never be straight and narrow, she had too many shades of grey for that. But she was at least trying to get rid of some of the darkest shades of grey that she had. She smiled warmly, looking at Natasha as she slid a hand to her girlfriend’s knee. “Then we are good for each other.” Her own feelings were deepening for Natasha, but she wasn’t putting labels on them just yet.
A shiver ran through Natasha, and she bumped her toes against Stahma’s thigh, before putting a hand over the one on her knee. “I like to think that we are. I never thought I’d get to this place with anyone.” Anyone else, ever again.
“Nor did I. I am happy to have been proven wrong on that.” Stahma didn’t open up to many people. She tended to keep secrets from everyone. But Natasha? She could talk to Natasha and know that she would never judge her for the less-than-savory things she’d done in her life. Lives, rather, considering her dream self had done some pretty terrible things. In Natasha, she’d found a kindred spirit, and she did not wish to let go of that. She pressed her leg tighter against Natasha’s, seeking more contact with her.
Even the secrets Natasha needed to keep secret were difficult to keep secret around Stahma. She could compartmentalize it well enough though, most days. She leaned over, stroking her her hand through Stahma’s hair. “You’re so beautiful.”
Stahma would never press Natasha about any of those secrets, unless there was a very good reason to. She well understood the value of keeping information secret, and there were things she knew better than to stick her nose into unless she was fully prepared to do so. She smiled at Natasha, leaning closer to her. “As are you,” she responded as she slid a hand up Natasha’s arm to her shoulder. “I am happy that you came over.”
“Wasn’t what I had in mind when I decided to, but I don’t really mind. I like learning about your culture. And the view is nice.” She gestured at Stahma’s torso. “What’s the..reason for the outfit?” Another thing she didn’t mind, really. In some ways it was sexier than nudity.
She chuckled softly at the comment about the view. “It is simply that women are not allowed to bathe in the nude while the men are.” It was another one of those patriarchal society nails being driven in. Not that Stahma minded that one, it was one of the customs she continued to uphold. She’d shirked the tradition of keeping her head covered in public as well as the communal bathing one.
That made the outfit just a little less exciting. It also seemed like a stupid rule. “What, they were afraid they’d be distracted, or something? Can’t control their own bodies? And men accuse us of being slaves to our hormones.”
“That I could not say, it is simply how it has always been. Though none of us are shy about sex, male or female. It may be strange considering how among humans, being deeply religious tends to be associated with thinking sex and sexuality is evil. Castithans, while deeply religious, are very open to and embracing of sex and sexuality.” It was a strange dichotomy when compared to human society, but Stahma wasn’t bothered by it.
“Depends on the religion, but most of the popular ones are that way, yes. I think when many of those books were written there was an emphasis on avoiding disease. Explains all those rules about sex and food preparation.” Natasha didn’t think much about if. If there was a God, it had forsaken her.
“True.” Stahma had always been religious, though she didn’t spout it out to people unless asked to. She’d been raised in the Russian Orthodox tradition, but now she’d given those beliefs over for her belief in Rayetso. It wasn’t that much of a change either. Castithans were monotheistic as well. “Nevertheless, I do not uphold all Castithan traditions.”
“Do what you wish to, and need to,” Natasha said, voice low. It was almost a whisper. She leveled her gaze onto Stahma. “You know I won’t get in your way.”
That was… important in any relationship. The need to have their own spaces, and the need to not get in the way of each other. A give and a take, and Natasha was giving.
“Thank you, I do appreciate that.” Which she really did. She was tired of Datak micromanaging what she could and could not do. She wanted to spread her own wings and see if she could fly without someone telling her to do it. “And I will not get in your way for what you need to do.” Relationships went both ways, at least if one wished them to last. It was part of why her marriage had gone up in flames. She didn’t want her relationship with Natasha to go up in flames as well.
Natasha smiled. If she’d had a glass, she’d toast it. “Here’s hoping we never have to get into each others’ way.” She’d done that. Too many times. With Logan and Bucky, and with Matt. Loved them. Fought them. Her duty always trumped love.
She didn’t want to do the same with Stahma. But she had to be honest, and she though they both understood what the conversation was dancing around. She had more important things to think about. LIke how to broach the subject of moving in together. Well, moving in that didn’t involve moving Stahma into one of her safe houses.
Luckily, Stahma was able to read between the lines, to know the conversation was dancing around certain things. Certain declarations, and the possibility of moving in together. She certainly understood what was going on, but not necessarily knowing how to broach the subjects. It wasn’t her strong suit by any means.
“I am very happy that we are on the same page, as the saying goes.” Communication was also key in relationships, so long as it remained constructive communication and not simply talking for the sake of saying something.
“It’s a very nice page to be on,” Natasha agreed. She moved her toes against Stahma’s leg again, dancing them up her thigh. How to actually get onto the subject, how to ask about it. There were certainly added issues when dealing with a woman with much more money than she had, and a much larger house. It almost felt like she was imposing just thinking about it.
Stahma shivered as Natasha’s toes moved up her thigh. She definitely had a lot of money, more than she otherwise would have had thanks to Datak agreeing to her divorce terms (after applying pressure in the correct places, of course!), but she tended to not throw it around. Her house was large, but aside from a carefully vetted cleaning crew that came once a week, her house tended to stand empty, save for her. It did get rather lonely more often than she would admit.
“Do you have to be anywhere early tomorrow?” Stahma asked. It would be nice to have Natasha here all night. And perhaps it was a bit of an opening into that topic of living together.
“Mm, I don’t think so. I had nothing planned for tomorrow at all.” Outside of an emergency, she’d have the whole day free. She’d arranged things like that. Just in case and all. Her foot became a little more teasing and a little more exploratory.
“Perhaps I could give you some plans, if you would like to stay the night.” Stahma wouldn’t presume anything, but she gave Natasha the option. She didn’t have to stay if she didn’t want to. Though as her girlfriend’s foot began to roam and explore, a shiver ran through Stahma. She slid her own foot along Natasha’s leg in reciprocation.
A grin found it’s way to Natasha’s lips, and she sank down more into the water. That this gave her foot more leeway and access was only a bonus. “I think that can be arranged.”
She enjoyed this kind of flirting. In a way it was almost innocent. Well, as innocent as either of them could possibly be.
Natasha’s grin only made one stretch across Stahma’s own face. As much as she was independent and didn’t mind being on her own, she didn’t like being lonely. And she was never lonely when Natasha was around.
“I am happy to hear that.” While her foot explored Natasha’s leg, she began to lightly run her fingertips over Natasha’s other leg.
Natasha wanted to leap onto Stahma, but she contained herself, instead shifting her foot around, while trying to ignore tingles from Stahma’s fingers. She sounded a little too breathless. “I do like making you happy.”
She had a bit of a sharp inhale of breath when Natasha shifted her foot around. At this point, Stahma knew that the rise in the temperature wasn’t due to the water. She shifted a bit, her gaze never wavering from her girlfriend. “And I enjoy your company.”
“How do you enjoy it?” Natasha’s foot found Stahma’s center, and she smiled that most innocent of smiles.
Stahma groaned a bit as her hips rolled forward, pressing against Natasha’s foot. She didn’t buy that innocent smile for one moment. “I enjoy it in all ways,” she responded, voice suddenly thicker and lower. Her accent was also more pronounced, an accent that was an odd blend of a Russian one and a Castithan one.
Nat about melted at it, and then she couldn’t control herself any longer. Oh she could. She just didn’t want to. She shifted to her knees and lay herself on top of Stahma, kissing her deeply and languidly. She stroked Stahma’s face, biting on her lip and trailing her hand down her side.
She groaned softly into the kiss, tangling a hand into Natasha’s hair at the back of her head. Her other arm pulled her closer to her, loving the feel of her body against her own. Stahma wasn’t naked, but that didn’t pose much of a problem. Though she was curious as to whether Natasha would try to take the outfit off of her or if she’d need to do it herself.
Natasha didn’t want to damage the outfit, but she did want to remove it. Nice and slow and slide it down so she could see Stahma in all her ghostly glory. She kissed her harder, deepening it until it was a kind of bruising kiss.
She returned the hard kiss, not backing away from it. Stahma had quite the varied tastes when it came to sex. She could go vanilla, but she could also get quite kinky. It was difficult to tell if her kinks came to her naturally or were part of her dreams. Either way, she was not shy, and she lightly grazed her nails up Natasha’s back.
Arching her back, Natasha hissed. It was a pained sound, but her face was expressing nothing but pleasure. She opened her eyes to look down at Stahma. “We’re going to get water everywhere…”
She was also still trying to get that thing off of her girlfriend and it was more difficult than she’d anticipated.
Stahma loved that expression on Natasha’s face. It suited her features, and framed by the red hair it made it all the more potent. She chuckled huskily. “Perhaps we should move, then.” She sat up, using her body to push Natasha up as well. She could tell she was having trouble with the outfit, so she helped with that, skillfully slipping the top part off and dropping it on the floor, quickly followed by the bottom part.
Natasha leaned back, crouching in the water and staring at Stahma intently. She was always good at picking up detail and her memory was very good. There were downsides of course. Memories she could never shake. But this was one that could keep her warm at night. She hopped out of the tub, somehow avoiding slipping as she moved with a dancer’s grace to grab towels.
She absolutely loved the way Natasha looked at her. There was passion and desire evident there, but she never looked at her like a sex object, the way Datak typically had looked at her. It made her feel desired and it sent a warm feeling through her. Stahma leaned down and pulled the plug, letting the water drain out before she carefully stepped out, her gaze freely roaming Natasha’s body again, lilac eyes darkening a bit with desire.
Wrapping a towel around them both, Natasha leaned into Stahma’s body, kissing her. It was a slow kiss, the hint of that passion just behind it. But she wanted to draw this out. She wanted it to last. God, did she want this to last.
Stahma slid her arms around Natasha’s neck, returning that kiss. She certainly didn’t mind drawing it out, it only made it better, in her opinion. Taking their time was something she enjoyed. Enjoying the moment, and taking the time to fully explore each other’s bodies was amazing, and Stahma wanted to soak up every moment of it.
A long, contented sigh escaped her lips. Natasha kissed her jaw and cheek, moving to her neck and then her ear. The words slipped out, without her wanting them to. “I love you.”
Hearing those three words was both entirely frightening and highly exhilarating. Stahma couldn’t remember Datak ever saying them to her. But no matter who hadn’t said them to her, Natasha had just said them. And Stahma knew without a doubt how she felt in return. A smile crossed her face as her lips brushed against Natasha’s ear. “I love you, too.”
She hadn’t meant to say them. They were dangerous words, life-changing words and on more than one occasion she’d regretted them. Saying them. Letting someone see her that vulnerable only for them to die or betray her. Or both. Natasha almost pulled away, but then she froze.
Stahma looked at her as she froze. And suddenly she had to wonder if that had been a good thing to say. If Natasha did pull away and want to leave, she would let her go, at least for now. But for the moment, she kept her arms around Natasha. She of all people understood not showing vulnerability, but she had taken a chance in saying those words back to Natasha. Hopefully it would be enough to keep her here. She was effectively speechless on the matter.
“I..hadn’t meant to say that,” Natasha said. Her words were heavy and fragile, like she was standing on a thin bridge over a gaping chasm and wind threatened to throw her over the side. “Or for you to say them back.”
She didn’t know what to do.
“It is alright, sometimes things come out whether we wish them to or not,” Stahma responded gently. “It was not unwelcome despite being unexpected.” Stahma herself didn’t quite know what to do either. She lightly brushed her fingers through Natasha’s hair.
Natasha smiled a little, forcing herself to relax. Her arms first, then her back and legs, and finally her shoulders. She cupped Stahma’s face. “It’s not an easy admission for me. I spend so much time pushing people away that I don’t always want these kinds of feelings.”
“Believe me, I understand. I have always kept myself closely guarded and distant from people.” She smiled gently, brushing a hand along Natasha’s back. “Sometimes we are given something that is worth the risk of becoming close.”
“Okay.” There was a lot loaded into that word. Acceptance. Risk. Understanding. She stroked Stahma’s cheek, not willing to say the words again for fear of spoiling them.
Stahma heard the nuance to that response. She leaned into Natasha’s touch, letting some silence pass for a couple moments. She then leaned forward to kiss Natasha again. Actions spoke louder than words, and it would at least replace the awkwardness of trying to find what to say next. For the moment, at any rate.