inner_wolf (inner_wolf) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-10-22 21:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, elphaba thropp, nina pickering |
Who: Nina and Elphaba
When: Early October
Where: Elphaba’s home
What: Helping out the new mother
Rating/Warnings: Low/Talk of breast feeding
Status: Complete
Nina had stopped by the store on the way to Elphaba’s to grab some stuff as well as taking her medical kit from home with her. It always helped to be prepared and Elphaba had sounded so worried and upset, there was no doubt a little sleep deprivation going on as well. Nina was glad she’d called, she would hate to think of her struggling alone.
Arriving she knocked on the door and tried the handle in case Elphaba had her hands full, “Elphie? It’s me Nina” she called out to let her know it wasn’t some random person.
Elphaba had been bouncing and walking the crying baby in the kitchen when she heard the knock at the front door. Heading there as quickly as she could, she opened the door and greeted Nina. “Nina, thank you so much for coming. I can’t get her to settle and I think it’s because she hasn’t fed properly.”
“It’s okay, she’s absolutely fine. Let’s get her settled with you so we can get this formula into her and go from there okay?” Nina said patting Elphaba’s arm before retrieving the forumla and bottle from her bag.
Elphaba took a deep breath and stroked a hand over the baby’s head, brushing her dark hair back from her tiny eyes. “Please, make yourself at home,” she nodded with her head towards the kitchen. She shushed the baby and started bouncing again. Closing her eyes, she started to sing one of Luthien’s songs softly. It hadn’t worked so far, but she would try again.
“It won't take long” Nina promised as she set about sorting everything out so all Elphie needed to do was sit and feed the little one. “Here we go” she said a few minutes later, “Get comfortable mummy” she said waiting until Elphaba was settled to hand over the bottle. “I brought a few cartons over so you'll always have some”
Doing as directed, Elphaba moved to sit down on the couch after the baby had settled somewhat. She was still fussing, but not crying so much anymore at least. Almost on the verge of tears, she reached out for the bottle and nodded before tipping the bottle to try and get the baby to feed. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” she told Nina, her voice cracking as she did and blinking up at the ceiling to try and abate her tears.
Nina moved to gently hug Elphaba as she fed the now quiet baby, “You are doing so well Elphie, I promise you. Using formula is not failing, breastfeeding can be uncomfortable and difficult sometimes but that’s why I’m here. To help you over these little speed bumps on your motherhood road” she smiled, “See she’s just fine”
Elphaba shook her head and looked down at the baby as she fed, watching the little eyes gazing up at her. “I was just…” she sighed heavily. “I’m so tired, and I was so worried that she wasn’t eating and…” she shifted the baby a little, away from her sore breasts. “And I just hurt when I try to feed her. I don’t know what’s wrong,” she admitted.
“Don't worry. We just need to get her latched on correctly, so you're both more comfortable” Nina said with a smile, “It can take a while and as she grows you'll probably find you need to change her positioning too” she added.
Elphaba nodded, giving Nina a watery smile. “In that case, I can’t wait until she starts getting teeth,” she joked weakly.
“If we can’t work it out then there is absolutely nothing wrong with moving her onto formula full time” Nina said, “Don’t feel like you have to struggle on if you can’t. It isn’t worth getting yourself and her upset over it” So much pressure was put onto mothers to breastfeed now and there almost seemed to be some kind of stigma for those who couldn’t manage it which seemed entirely out of order to Nina. Formula did the job just as well, most of the people she knew had been brought up on it and they were all healthy and bright.
“But all the articles I read said that breastfeeding is the best and that if I’m not doing that then she’s not getting the anti-bodies and nutrients she needs to grow up properly. I want to make sure she has the best chance of being healthy and strong when she’s older. Millions of mothers around the world can do this without any problem and here I am…” she gestured helplessly. “I can’t even feed my own baby,” she cried, tears making their way down her cheeks.
“I can find you a whole bunch of articles disputing that” Nina said, wrapping an arm more securely around her friend while being careful not to disturb the feeding baby, “Do not judge yourself by other peoples experiences. Apart from the fact that half of those people have probably never even had a child, they also cannot speak for everybody. Some people find it far more difficult than others, nobody is going to have exactly the same experience as somebody else. It doesn’t work like that. You have given that little one the most important nutrients she needs and while it’s recommended that you continue for as long as you feel comfortable believe me when I say it is most definitely not going to affect her detrimentally if you can’t”
Elphaba nodded as she listened to her friend talk. “Everyone just made it seem so easy, I guess I had this image of having a perfect pregnancy and being the perfect mom like you see on tv and in the magazines,” she took a shuddering breath and looked down at Mae whose eyes were closing as her sucking slowed. “Why is it never easy?” she asked quietly, giving a little chuckle and sniff.
“The perfect mums you see on the tv and in the magazines don’t exist” Nina said, “There is no such thing, everybody struggles - maybe not with the same thing but they struggle. Nobody knows exactly what they are doing. All mothers suffer moments of doubt and they make mistakes. People just don’t tell you that” Nina stroked a hand through Elphie’s hair in comfort, “It’ll get easier, I promise. Just don’t expect perfection otherwise it’ll seem so much harder”
Closing her eyes, Elphaba let herself relax somewhat as she felt Mae drift off and relax in her arms. Lifting the bottle from the baby’s lips and looking down at her, Elphaba gave a smile and a sigh. “I think she’s gone, thank god,” she held out the bottle to pass it to Nina. “Could you take this for a minute and I’ll try and put her down in her crib?” she asked.
“Of course” Nina said taking it from her. Once Elphie moved to put the baby down she went into the kitchen to wash and sterilise the bottle before unpacking her bag of the formula and other things she’d brought.
Once Elphaba had settled the baby in the bedroom and secured the side of the crib, she returned to the kitchen. She picked up the baby monitor and turned it on, placing it back down on the kitchen counter. Sighing and leaning against the counter, she smiled tiredly at Nina. “Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked, moving over to put water in the kettle. Now that Mae was down, she had a list of things she needed to do, including cooking a few batches of dinners, cleaning the house, getting some accounts done for a couple of customers and lastly fix the blown bulb in the bathroom which she needed to get the stepladder for.
“Why don’t you sit down a moment and let me get the tea?” Nina suggested, “You need to rest when she does. That is one of the best tips I can give you for looking after a baby” she smiled, “I picked that up very quickly from the chats I’ve had with new mums”
“But I’ve got so much to do and with her having been so fussy I haven’t been able to get to half of the stuff I wanted to do done,” Elphaba explained, rubbing her cesarean scar gently as she moved over to fetch the milk from the fridge before moving past Nina to the kettle. Having carried Mae while she’d been fussing had pulled on her wound and now it ached. If she were honest she could do with a rest, if not a sleep, but she was used to just getting on with things.
Nina stood in front of Elphaba and put her hands on her arms, “As your medical advisor I am telling you to slow down. If you hurt yourself you’re going to get nothing done” she said sternly, “Now sit, while I make tea. You’re going to have to get used to not being able to do as much as you used to. Whatever list you have in your head, half it right now. At least” with a fussy baby and a cesarean wound still healing as well as getting herself stressed Elphie needed to rest and it looked like Nina needed to make sure she did.
Elphaba went to protest, but sighed and nodded. “Ok, ok,” she smiled and hugged Nina, not too tightly since her breasts were still quite sore. If she could, she might look at using the breast pump that was still in it’s box this afternoon. “Thank you Nina, you’re amazing,” she smiled and pulled back and headed to sit on the couch in the open plan room. She listened to Nina bustling around, and her voice as she spoke and before she knew it she was fast asleep.