Thalia Grace (wasatree) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-10-10 00:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | luke castellan, thalia grace |
WHO: Thalia Grace and Luke Castellan
WHERE: Thalia’s Apartment
WHEN: After she’s back to normal
WHAT: Catching up
RATING: PG
STATUS: log; completed
Although Thalia had freaked out over the prospect of turning into a tree, she hadn’t actually thought she’d turn into one. The universe was awful, but it couldn’t be that awful, could it? As it turned out, it could. And she’d spent the last two weeks as a tree, and thank god Annabeth was discreet and didn’t sell her out to the tabloids, because she could only imagine how that would play out in the papers. Even so it meant she’d missed another important date with Luke, and while she had a really good excuse for it - one that couldn’t be held against her - she still felt bad about it. It’d taken so long for them to come back into each other’s lives, and it’d taken so long for them to get to the point where they could try to get back together, and she felt like they’d just bounded back a hundred steps. Coupled with the dreams, where Luke featured prominently but in a very different way, the whole situation was very confusing. At least sitting in place in the apartment, with no more threats of dying and turning into a tree, was a simple enough thing. It was all she could do at the moment: just sit and wait and try not to feel overwhelmed by everything. *** Luke was anxious. He didn’t know if Thalia had read about her tree being poisoned and he didn’t know who had (though, if he did, he’d wish he could unknow it right away), but he thought it probably wouldn’t make things all that much better than they were before. First she was dying, then she turned into a tree, and if that wasn’t enough, she got poisoned. But Thalia was back and he didn’t have to worry about her being a tree. At least not here. He had a feeling it was only a matter of time before she was a tree in his dreams as well. Years of her as a tree. The idea only made his anxiety increase and he walked faster until he made it to her place, knocking on the door. *** It took a few minutes for Thalia to make her way to the door - because, apparently, two weeks (or seven years, if you went by dream time) as a tree really wrecked one’s coordination. She was anxious, too, when she opened the door; she was half-afraid he'd be angry and cold. But then the door was open, and he was standing there, and he looked so worried that Thalia felt her own fears melt away. She took a stumbling step forward and hugged him tightly, the first time they'd touched since their last night together in Connecticut. *** Luke felt a surge of relief the moment she stumbled into a hug. His arms wrapped around her and his eyes slid closed as he focused on the feeling of her there. She wasn’t a tree anymore. She was real. She smelled like her and felt like her. Maybe her hair was different, but that...well, that didn’t matter to him. He was just glad that she wasn’t a tree and she was there. “Thalia,” he managed after a little while had passed. “I missed you.” That was the truth. With all the things that had happened between Connecticut and here, Luke could honestly say that he was glad that they were back together again. Even if it was just as friends. *** For that little while, the years seemed to wash away, and Thalia was seventeen again, young and madly in love. She gripped the back of his shirt as she breathed him in, and even after he spoke, she didn’t move for a moment. “I missed you too,” she whispered, still holding on. “And these dreams...these stupid dreams, they just make me miss you more.” Because they were a family in those dreams. Because they’d run off together like they’d planned to in the real world: them against the world. Weird how - even as miserable as they were being constantly on the run and ignored by their godly parents, they’d managed to find the happiness they hadn’t found in reality. Well, up until the part she’d turned into a tree. *** Luke understood that. He understood that the dreams could make things more complicated. It affected his feelings toward his father, affected his feelings in general. He wanted to have known Thalia from the age they knew each other in the dreams. He missed the part of him that knew her in the dreams. But Thalia was always going to be the strange girl that wandered into his life and changed everything. No matter whether she was in his dreams or out of them. The idea of losing her, of her being a tree for years, so close and yet not really herself? That was painful. “We’re here now and...well, I don’t know. It’s hard to say that the dreams aren’t going to make things different, but...but it’s okay.” He wanted it to be okay. He wanted them to be okay. “I’m not sorry to say that I’m glad you’re not a tree.” He wanted to know if there’d been more, if she’d known about the poisoning that Percy mentioned. Did she know what happened? But at the same time he didn’t even want to talk about them. Annabeth kept trying, but he was resistant. “I’m sick of talking about the stupid dreams half the time and half the time, I wonder if I need to know more than I know. Annabeth keeps trying to get ahead of me about things and I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, but I get the feeling she doesn’t do ‘no’ very well about some things.” *** His statement drew a short laugh out of her, and finally she pulled back. She wasn’t quite ready to let go of him yet, though, so she kept her arms loosely linked behind his back, right in the open doorway, not caring if anyone saw. “I’m not sorry I’m not a tree either,” she said, giving him a smile that veered dangerously towards watery. Thalia didn’t cry very much, but seeing her ex-best friend-slash-long lost love-slash-whatever after having spent several weeks being an inanimate object was pretty emotional. “Let’s not talk about the dreams,” she said. Maybe there would be more awful things coming for both of them, maybe not. But for now, she wanted to leave them aside and enjoy the fact that they could be together without hellhounds or gods or missing brothers. “Let’s just...I just want to talk to you.” *** He wasn’t in any real hurry to let go either, so it worked out for him. He didn’t trust that if he let go, something else crazy would happen and she wouldn’t turn into a tree or maybe a shrub this time. Luke was particularly uninterested in what anyone thought about their just standing there, so he didn’t move or try to steer her indoors. He felt even more protective of her than he had before seeing that hint of emotion. He wasn’t sure if she’d actually cry, but she looked close enough that he wanted to make it better, wanted to make her feel less...whatever it was she was feeling. He knew it was ridiculous, but that was his life: trying to make people feel better even when it didn’t seem likely. “Okay. No dreams, just us. Whatever you want to talk about.” *** Just us.. That was all she'd ever wanted, once, when she'd felt trapped by school and her stupid situation, and Luke was the only one who made her feel like there was a life outside of that. Some days, he still was. She finally released him, but just to take his hand, and tugged him in and closed the door. She took him to the sofa, where she sat sideways with one leg bent on the cushions so she could face him. “So what did I miss in two weeks? I heard there was an outbreak of Ebola. Were you hit?” She'd managed to regain control of herself now so she wasn't in danger of crying anymore, but she still felt raw, vulnerable. *** Luke allowed himself to be led inside, mind working through all the things that had happened over the days since he’d last seen her. He’d been upset with her for not showing up and then upset with the universe for allowing her to turn into a tree. He hoped she hadn’t read the texts and just deleted them. But he also wasn’t going to bring that up. “Yeah. Something like that. People were bleeding from their eyes? I’m not really sure what was happening. I didn’t have to worry about it, though. Probably for the best.” Annabeth didn’t really need two people to panic about. She didn’t really need one, but things happened that way. “I don’t think I can afford to miss work. Even if I probably could have gotten away with it. If they knew why.” But he needed money more than he needed anything else. “There wasn’t that much going on for me, though. Just working and talking to a few people on valarnet.” *** “Good. I'm glad.” She wanted to reach out and touch him again, but refrained. Everything was just so awkward, and she hated it. She fell silent. He'd said they could talk about whatever she wanted, and there was a lot they could talk about: what it was like to be a tree; how his job was going; if there was any news on the people who may be coming after him. But in the end, there was only one main thing on her mind. “Do you think we’re ever going to be able to get together without something crazy happening?” *** Luke almost laughed at the question. Almost. It was funny in a way, but he wondered the same thing. Would they ever be able to do any of this without the threat of something else happening in the dreams that would mess them up? Was it possible? Luke really hoped it was, but he had a feeling the dreams would always be throwing them for loops. “Probably not,” he said after a moment. “Does that make you want it any less?” *** The question was unexpected, somehow, but Thalia didn’t hesitate in her reply. “No,” she said, lifting her gaze to meet his squarely. His eyes were a paler shade of blue than hers, and there were times - like now - when she felt like she could see her soul reflected back in them. “I meant what I said: I want to give this another try. So if you’re okay with trying again and hoping nothing goes terribly this time, I think we should.” She swallowed, suddenly - desperately - afraid he was going to say no, or that those goons who had been hunting him would suddenly burst into the apartment, or one of them was going to spontaneously combust, or something. “What do you think?” *** Luke felt his stomach flop. He knew, logistically speaking, that that was impossible, but it felt like it all the same. He’d never been particularly strong when it came to Thalia, had almost never been able to disagree with her in the slightest. She’d just look at him and he’d cave. Even in the dreams that was the way it always was. It wasn’t different now. “Okay.” He didn’t think he could have given any other answer. Not with her looking at him. “I think we should. I mean, we can’t help what’s going to happen in the dreams and we can’t really help anything else. I think.” He frowned slightly. “And we might be able to take care of ourselves a little better. I mean, I at least have weapons.” *** Somehow, despite everything, Thalia hadn’t been sure he’d actually agree. When he did, she let out a small breath that was half surprise, half laugh, and reached over to hug him again. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so awkward anymore. “Okay.” And he was right: maybe this time they could take care of themselves better. There was nothing they could’ve done to prevent her being treed, but he had weapons, she had her fencing, and… “I have a shield.” She pulled back and showed him the bracelet she’d woken up with. “This seriously turns into a shield. With Medusa’s head.” *** Luke smiled when she hugged him, feeling suddenly safe after so many months of feeling the complete opposite. Somehow Thalia had always made him feel safe...even with everything going on. He hoped that he didn’t cause her any problems. But if anyone tried to hurt her, they likely would come to regret it because he would do everything he could to get her back. “I remember when you got that. Hal’s house. I’m pretty sure it’s the only thing that saved us from catching fire that day.” He shook his head. “Do you ever think about Hal? Like whether or not he exists here. If he does, I hope Apollo never shows up.” Because Apollo didn’t deserve the chance to hurt Hal again and Hal didn’t deserve to go through it again. *** Thalia sobered at the mention of Hal. She’d encountered him in her dreams a while back, but he still haunted her thoughts sometimes: his imprisonment, his sacrifice. Dream-Thalia had drunk the kool-aid when it came to the gods; she believed that for all their faults, they were still to be respected and followed (and sassed, if appropriate). But Real-Thalia sometimes wondered if they were meant to be villains in this unfolding plotline of theirs. She wasn’t quite as resentful of them as Luke seemed to be, but she definitely wasn’t a fan either. “I mean, Percy and Annabeth exist here. Maybe, somewhere in the world, there’s a Hal. Hopefully one who’s happier than he was in the dreams. I still don’t really understand how they work. Sometimes, dreams seem to follow people’s lives. Other times, they’re complete opposites of what people have lived. You think we’re getting the same dreams because we already know each other?” *** Hal deserved better than he got and Luke would never change his mind about that. Neither would he change his mind about the gods being the villains. Maybe there were people who were worse, but that didn’t make them less terrible and it didn’t diminish the things that they did. They tried to make excuses, but he wasn’t accepting it. “I guess you have a point.” He hoped, in a way, that Hal was there and that he was happy. He knew that he wasn’t exactly happy all the time, but he wasn’t the same as he had been in his dreams. He wasn’t nearly as angry...if you ignored that his dream emotions had transferred over and made him angry that one time. “I don’t know. It’s possible. But we didn’t meet each other till a lot later outside of the dreams.” *** “True,” Thalia agreed. “But we did meet, eventually.” She smiled at him. “I'm glad we did.” She reached over and squeezed his hand. “Now...I think you said you'd bring me food.” |