Callisto (rageinmyheart) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-09-28 15:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, callisto, xena |
Who: Xena and Callisto
What: It's the Ides of March! At least in their dreams.
When: Recently
Where: Their condo
Warnings: Mentions of crucifixion, Xena wakes up with a broken back and can't walk, lots of cursing
Why did it always come down to the Romans? They made Xena’s blood boil and she felt like her fate was tied up with Caesar and his people in ways she could never escape. They killed Ephiny, which hurt Gabrielle which hurt her, though even without Gabrielle’s connection it would still have hurt. She’d done so much damage to the Amazons. This tribe and other tribes and she felt like she was always trying to play catch up just to even the scales a little bit. But they succeeded and she got to send a message to Caesar.
It was only natural for him to put a price on her head. All roads led to Rome, and it was only natural for her to go after Caeser himself. But like how roads led to room, they also seemed to lead to Callisto. More so than the Romans in some ways her and Callisto’s fates were entwined. Only Gabrielle and perhaps Joxer were as deep beneath her skin.
And the visions. The visions that plagued her plagued her in both lives though she’d told no one of this. Of Gabrielle and herself on the cross. She found herself in the mountains, the desperate fight to save Eli and Gabrielle. The unexpected severing of her spine.
And just like the visions they were on cross. And when Xena woke, she didn’t feel the peace she’d felt at death. Instead she felt nothing below her waist. And when she tried to crawl out of bed, she fell, knocking the end table over in a clatter.
All roads led to Rome indeed. Callisto at least hadn’t had many dealings with Romans during her life, but she was suddenly around them in her afterlife. The fact that Callisto’s dreams hadn’t actually stopped at her final death was exhausting. She didn’t understand why her dreams couldn’t have just stopped there.
She was awake when she heard the crash from Xena’s room. She leapt to her feet, frowning a bit as she then headed to Xena’s room. “Xena?” She asked as she opened the door and saw Xena on the floor, the end table knocked over. “Are you alright?”
“Fuck…” Xena wiped her eyes on her shoulder. The whole night of dreams had been both exhausting and emotional. She let out a ragged breath and looked up at Callisto. For a moment anger flashed in her eyes until recognition and exhaustion replaced the expression. “I can’t feel my legs.”
She noted the anger, but didn’t react to it. Callisto didn’t quite want to be in a fight with Xena at the moment. She wasn’t feeling up to it, really. For once in her life. “Oh shit,” she muttered, moving closer and kneeling down beside Xena. “Do you need to see a doctor?” Because Callisto was not a caregiver, nor was she a doctor. She at least knew not to move anyone who said they couldn’t feel their legs. So she wasn’t going to try that unless Xena told her to.
“I don’t know how to explain this.” She couldn’t even quite remember who had thrown the chakram but there were few people capable of it. “I should be dead. Caesar won. We died on the cross.”
We , of course, didn’t include Callisto. Xena tried to pull herself up. It didn’t hurt. It was just dead weight. She looked at her hands, expecting nails. There was nothing.
“Knowing you, you’ll find a way around the dying thing. You have before.” Callisto was just not going to mention the fact she’d actually helped Caesar claim victory. Callisto as a demon, that is. Because of course she had to end up somewhere worse than Tartarus this time around. Hell was far worse. She didn’t need to poke that right now. “Here, let me help you up.” She held her hand out to Xena.
She looked at Callisto’s hand, then sighed and reached for it. Xena was acting much like a cat. Wounded and hiding it. At least hiding it as best she could. Should she be moving? Probably not, but she’d done plenty of moving in her dreams and had the pain in her back to prove it.
Callisto just wanted to get Xena off the floor. She pulled her up as carefully as possible, and helped her back onto the bed. “Do you feel pain anywhere?” She probably should have asked that before trying to move Xena, but this was why Callisto wasn’t a caretaker.
“Back. Lower. It’s my spine.” Xena laid her head back on her pillow, staring up at the ceiling. “Like a little ball of tension and fire. Somebody hit me with my own Chakram.”
“Well, shit. You know you’re gonna need a doctor if this doesn’t heal.” She was concerned for her friend, and trying to figure out what the fuck she could actually do about this. This was so out of Callisto’s realm of expertise it wasn’t even funny.
“We’ll just have to call it a bad fall.” She was lucky she’d been wearing armor. Without it, the weapon probably would have embedded itself in her back, which would have been a lot worse. She grimaced, fingers digging into the sheets. “I’m...gonna need your help, Callisto.”
“Works for me.” It was the easiest explanation. There was also calling it a motorcycle accident, but that would involve giving Xena some other injuries to corroborate that story. “What do you need me to do?”
“Call an ambulance.” She didn’t know if there was a way to help her, but at least she could get some kind of painkiller, or some kind of treatment, there had to be something, right? “I don’t think I can handle this alone.”
There was that too. An admission she was reluctant to make.
“Alright, I’ll do that. Just, don’t move.” She didn’t want to have to pick Xena up off the floor again. Not that she couldn’t handle it, she was a god with all the strength of one currently, but the less Xena was moved before paramedics got here, the better. She then went to grab a phone and called an ambulance.
Xena closed her eyes. She could see, for a moment, Gabrielle looking at her, but the vision quickly faded. She wanted to curse the dreams. It had ruined her friendship with Callisto, and it had shown her things she didn’t know she was missing, people she didn’t know who she needed in her life. And now it had left her unable to feel her legs and that was scarier than she’d realized.
Callisto did go with the bad fall story, though kept details vague enough that it wouldn’t hamper Xena trying to explain it as well. But soon after, she came back to Xena. “The ambulance is on its way. It shouldn’t be long.” She scratched her head a bit, not sure of what to do in the time before paramedics arrived.
“Guess you get the last laugh.” Xena moved her eyes from the ceiling, to Callisto. “Clubs gonna be yours too. No way I’ll be able to stay in charge like this.” She gestured at herself.
“Hey, don’t say that. People go through these things all the time, and some of them are able to walk again. Besides, since when do you give up and just accept what happens without fighting?” Callisto said. “I’ll take charge for the time being, but you will find a way through this.” So it certainly seemed like Callisto was lucid at the moment.
It was a part of Callisto that Xena had missed. Something the dreams had stolen. “So what you’re saying is its too soon to start feelin’ sorry for myself?”
The dreams had stolen much from Callisto, and given her terrible things in return. But every now and then, she was capable of being more of her old self. “Definitely too soon. Giving up this early is not like you.”
They both knew that death wasn’t always final. Not for people like them. Xena just didn’t know if there was anyway to return from this. They’d ascended from their bodies. Xena and Gabrielle were dead. “I’m probably in shock.”
“No surprise there. Though in a few days, if you’re still talking like that, I’m going to read you the riot act.” This was not something that was going to be easy to get through, but Callisto knew Xena was strong, and at the end of the day she was a fighter, and would never give up.
"I'm trusting you to." In the other world, she trusted Callisto about as far as she could throw her. In this world, that was more of a true statement. "I really don't know what any of this means." Walking, fighting, sex, her bike. So much of her life was active. But she also knew people who remained active. Tri-wheel bikes could be an option. There'd just been the special olympics.
Xena just needed to regain her optimism.
“At least someone does.” It wasn’t putting herself down. Callisto just didn’t think she was much of a trustworthy person. She definitely wasn’t trustworthy in the dreams, and here she really only held loyalty to Xena. That was when she heard the paramedics, and she got up to go let them in and lead them into where Xena was.
Xena grabbed for Callisto’s hand, when she came back with the paramedics. She looked at her intensely, trying to convey a variety of emotions. She wasn’t even certain what she was feeling right now. But then she let go, and let the paramedics carry her out.
Callisto held Xena’s hand, looking back at her. She did her best to stay out of the way of the paramedics. She then went with Xena as she was taken out. She wasn’t going to let her be alone in this.
It was easier to let it happen, than to talk about it. Talking about it meant bearing feelings and right now Xena didn’t want to do that. It wasn’t like she was dying. Even then, she wouldn’t burden Callisto with that. Callisto had enough problems.
They could deal with it once they weren’t in public. And as long as Callisto could maintain some semblance of sanity. But she didn’t stray all that far from Xena when they arrived at the hospital, at least for when they needed to take Xena for X-rays and whatever else they were going to do.