Alistair Theirin (bloodoftheirin) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-09-23 01:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, alistair theirin, morrigan |
Who: Alistair Theirin and Morrigan
What: Meeting to talk about their dream son
When: Backdated: August
Where: A Cafe
Rating/Warnings: Family Friendly
Status: Complete!
Alistair had known that eventually he and Morrigan would be having this conversation, but he hadn’t thought it would be so soon. Sure, it wasn’t as if the events that had happened during the Blight had really taken that long, but Alistair had kind of hoped that it would take a while for Morrigan to get there. It was still weird to him, thinking about how they’d had to have sex so that Maia wouldn’t die upon killing the Archedemon, but he’d be lying if he said that he never wondered about the baby that he and Morrigan had conceived. In the dreams he thought about it constantly and even thought about sending people out to try and find Morrigan, but he’d known it was fruitless and if she didn’t want to be found, she wouldn’t be.
Now here they were, meeting up to talk about their dream son and of course Alistair couldn’t stop wondering if it was possible for the dreams to cause him to appear. After all, they could make items and apparently animals appear; so why not a kid?
For the most part, Morrigan had stopped talking about her dreams on the Valarnet once they’d gotten towards the end of the Blight. Mostly because she wanted to put off this conversation as long as possible. Had Maia been male, this conversation would be null and void because then it would’ve been Maia taking part in that ritual, not Alistair. But it was strange for her to think of having had sex with Alistair. It was hard to say if she felt bad for Alistair not having met Kieran at all, but she hadn’t really had a choice in the matter, either. She’d gone into hiding, keeping away from her mother at all costs.
Morrigan was torn on whether or not she wanted Kieran to show up here. Ever since having the dream of sleeping with Alistair, she’d periodically taken some pregnancy tests just to see if the pregnancy carried over. Thus far, it hadn’t, and part of her was relieved. But another part...another part was reacting to the maternal side of herself that she’d had with raising Kieran and it was strange and not entirely something she wanted to feel.
Spotting Alistair, she walked over to him, steeling herself for this conversation. “I do hope I am not late,” she said as she took a seat across from him.
“No, it’s cool. I only just got here a few minutes ago myself.” Alistair had ordered a coffee while he’d waited and now glanced around to see if he could flag down a passing waitress so Morrigan could order something if she wanted, “You gonna get anything?” He spotted a waitress a few tables down and thought it would be easy to get her attention if Morrigan said yes.
“Yes,” she answered simply. While Morrigan preferred tea, sometimes coffee was the better option. And right now, she wanted something stronger than tea to accompany this conversation. Hard liquor would’ve been her first choice, but coffee would suffice. Depending on how this went, hard liquor would be had once she got home.
Alistair flagged down the waitress and waited until Morrigan had placed her order before saying anything, “So how’ve you been?” While he knew they needed to talk about the whole Kieran thing, he didn’t want it to seem like that was the only reason he’d suggested they meet up. Yes, that was the main reason, but they were both connected through Maia regardless of the dreams. “Got any new dream gifts?”
Morrigan ordered what she wanted. Typically, she was not one for idle chat when important things needed to be discussed, but it was more than awkward to just jump into a conversation about a son they both had in the dreams. A son that Alistair had never met. “I have been well, at least up to finding the catch to having partaken of the Well of Sorrows.” That was a definite sore spot, and one that unsettled her greatly. She didn’t want to be her mother’s slave. “A few. Seeds for herbs native to Thedas, mostly. My greenhouse is soon to be overrun with them. Not a terrible thing when I have been making some potions to aid in battles here.”
“How much elfroot did you get?” Elfroot seemed to be the most common plant in Thedas regardless of where one was. “It’s kind of funny when you think about how we all in some way or another had a hand in the whole thing with Corypheus.” Leliana was part of the Inquisition. Morrigan also became a temporary advisor and he was king. He did wonder what the others from their party had been doing during the Breach with the exception of Sten who he knew was the current Arishok.
“I received several seeds, though I have increased the number since the first ones I planted. I have been working on various potions when I have enough resources to make them. Healing potions, regeneration potions, even weak lyrium potions. Though obviously I lack actual lyrium to add in.” And she wasn’t even certain she wanted to deal with the refined lyrium at all. The stuff was dangerous. “Indeed we did, though tis hardly surprising when Corypheus threatened the entirety of the world. All of us in one way or another had a hand in the fight.” Except for Maia as she’d had her own quest, but Morrigan had not wished her to be anywhere near Corypheus considering the fact he’d made the Grey Wardens hear the Calling. “I’ve a question, if you do not mind it? Call it curiosity, but when you dreamt of Corypheus despite the fact you were in Ferelden, did you hear the Calling?” She was curious as to how far Corypheus’ reach with the Wardens had spread.
There were some things that Alistair didn’t like thinking about from his dreams such as Cailan’s death and Corypheus’ fake Calling was on that list. “It wasn’t like it would have been if I’d been in Orlais, but I could feel it. I tried to keep myself busy though and I was able to ignore it more or less.” Had Corypheus’ Calling been in Ferelden, he didn’t know whether or not he would have been able to ignore it; he was just glad that it hadn’t been. “I’ll admit though, part of me felt a little guilty that so many Wardens went to their deaths while I sat in my palace.” Not that he’d had a choice; he had a country to rule.
As Morrigan had been firmly entrenched within Celene’s court in Halamshiral, she hadn’t seen the full scope of what Corypheus had done to the Wardens. She’d only heard about it and seen the aftermath when she’d joined the Inquisition. So it was interesting to hear how it had affected Alistair in Denerim. “At least t’was not overwhelming to you. Nevertheless, what I know of the situation, I am relieved Maia was not among them. Tis said that the mages became bound to Corypheus once they took part in whatever blood magic rituals they were performing.” Morrigan cared more for people than she really let on, but it was quite easy for her care and love of Maia to show through. “Had you been there, the result possibly would have been the same. It took the Inquisitor stepping in to stop the Wardens.” Morrigan was rather glad that she’d missed that part of the fight against Corypheus. Everything in the Arbor Wilds and after had been bad enough.
Alistair nodded, “Yeah, I’m really glad she wasn’t there either. What I heard from Leliana, it didn’t go well when they reached Adamant.” From what he’d been told, that was when Max, Hawke and a few others that become trapped in the Fade. Having been in the Fade twice before, himself, Alistair really didn’t like thinking about it.
Taking a sip of his drink, Alistair was silent for a moment before speaking again, “So, should we talk about the main reason we’re here today?” They could talk about Corypheus and the Blight and so many other things events from Thedes all afternoon and still not get to the topic they had met up to discuss so Alistair decided it was probably time, as awkward as it was going to be.
Morrigan shook her head. It had not been the best of times for the Wardens, but it was not her place to get into details other than what she’d heard from hearsay. She’d picked up much overhearing conversations between people at Skyhold, but she knew there were things she didn’t know about that. Not that she’d admit to that because she liked being a know-it-all.
But then it came to the real reason why they’d come here. “Yes. Our son, Kieran.” Did she regret that Alistair and Kieran had never met? Possibly, but Alistair was king now, he had a lot to worry about, and Morrigan had been protecting Kieran from falling into Flemeth’s clutches. “I admit I am uncertain where to begin on the topic, so I shall instead say you may ask anything regarding him.” This kind of talk did not come naturally to her, so she felt it was best for Alistair to ask and she respond to him as opposed to her moving in chronological order about Kieran’s life.
“I don’t blame you. I mean, it’s not a topic I ever thought I’d be talking about,” Alistair had so many questions about Kieran and he wasn’t entirely sure where to begin. He took a moment to attempt to figure out which were the more important ones, but eventually just figured he’d ask as many as Morrigan would answer, “Did he know about me?” That had been one of the reasons Alistair had been reluctant to do the ritual in the first place. Sure, part of it was that he was still a virgin and he’d never expected his first time to be solely for the purposes of a ritual, but also because being the bastard son of the king, Alistair had never really known his father and he’d hated the thought of having a kid out there who wouldn’t know him.
Morrigan was patient, knowing Alistair must have more questions than could be counted. As it was, she was more than willing to answer them all. Maybe not all in one sitting, but she would answer as many as she could before they needed to move on. “Yes, he did. I told him about you, that you were a king. I rather think he liked that he had royal blood.” For all of her faults, she had ensured her son knew who his father was. She had grown up not knowing her own father, nor did she really want to considering her mother’s taste in men, but she had been determined to be a better mother to Kieran than her own mother was to her.
“Did he ever want to meet me?” Alistair knew how difficult that would have been, even if Morrigan had agreed to it. Of course Maric wasn’t the only king who had illegitimate children, but it was very rare that they acknowledged those children. Alistair knew though that had Morrigan ever come to Denerim with their child, he wouldn’t have hesitated to acknowledge them. Of course that, he thought, was possibly one of the reasons she hadn’t.
“Yes. He became a bit more persistent about it after I had my place in Empress Celene’s court. However, that would have been difficult to arrange for multiple reasons.” Not just the distance between Halamshiral and Denerim. There had been the mage rebellion, Corypheus, and the fact Morrigan wanted to stay as far away from Ferelden as possible. She felt it would have been easier for Flemeth to track her down if she returned to any part of Ferelden. And she also didn’t want, or need, the acknowledgement Alistair would have given them had they gone to Denerim.
“What did you tell him about me? I mean, about why we….he didn’t know about the ritual, did he?” Alistair couldn’t imagine what a kid would think about knowing he was conceived for ritual. Of course most parents wouldn’t tell their kid something like that, but he wasn’t sure just how honest Morrigan would have been with their son.
“No, no he did not know of the ritual or even what he was. He was completely innocent of that knowledge. I did not wish to burden him at such a young age nor did I want him to question if he was loved or not.” Morrigan paused, a troubled expression crossing her face. “I was hardly the maternal type when you and I met during the Blight, but having Kieran changed me. I loved him and I was determined to be a better mother to him than my mother was to me. Which was not overly difficult to accomplish.” It wasn’t that difficult to be better than Flemeth. At least Morrigan didn’t go around telling her son horror stories at a young age. She let him be a child when he wasn’t focusing on his studies.
It was true, they hadn’t really gotten a long at all during the Blight and had only performed the Ritual in order to save Maia’s life; or his, if he had happened to be the one to kill the Archdemon, but Alistair could tell that she had changed and that she genuinely had loved their son and that made Alistair smile, “I’m glad that he had you. It sucks that I never got to meet him, but it sounds like he got lucky with you.”
Morrigan wouldn’t admit to having changed, but she was sitting here in this life with this strange surge of maternal feelings because of the dreams. And she didn’t know what to do with them. “He deserved better, but I did my best. Kieran is very observant, sometimes almost unnaturally so. But he is a soft-spoken, intelligent boy.” She looked at Alistair. “Perhaps our paths shall cross again in future. I left Orlais and Skyhold after Corypheus was defeated.” And her destination? Who knew where she would go next.
Alistair nodded, “Right. Who knows what happens to us after the point where we’ve stopped dreaming. It’s entirely possible that we crossed paths again.” Ever since he’d dreamt about sleeping with Morrigan he had wondered about their child and if they ever met and now that he at least knew something about his child, he could keep a little hope that someday they did end up meeting. “Oh. I don’t know if it makes any difference or anything, but….I think I’m half elf.” Being half elf meant that he had no actual elvish features so he doubted very much that Kieran had, but he thought it was something that Morrigan ought to know. “I’m pretty sure that whole story about my mother being a serving girl in the castle was made up.”
“In time I suppose we shall see what comes next.” Morrigan knew it would be nothing good. Max had told her of what Solas had done, of what he was going to try to do. The world was going to be plunged into chaos yet again, and this time Morrigan didn’t know if she could fight to stop it. After all, she was bound to Mythal. If worse came to worse, she would no doubt find herself fighting the next hero that came along to try and stop the world from being destroyed. Though as Alistair confessed about the half-elf thing, Morrigan blinked. The first thought was wondering why he was telling her that. Kieran didn’t exist in this world. “Half-elf? T’would mean that not only did Kieran have the soul of an Old God, but he also has elven heritage.” Wonderful. Her mother was probably laughing hysterically over that piece of irony considering she was Mythal, if she even knew.
Alistair wasn’t really sure why he was telling her either, but considering the nature of the OC, it was entirely possible that Kieran could somehow show up. Now wouldn’t that be a kick? “That is exactly what it means. Grand Enchanter Fiona appears to be my mother.” Ever since he’d recognized her in the dream where he’d kicked the mages out of Redcliffe, he’d wondered if he’d ever find out in the dreams or continue to believe his mother had died.
Morrigan blinked. “Grand Enchanter Fiona is your mother?” She was a little thrown off by that. “I saw her at Skyhold, though I did not speak with her.” The Inquisitor in her dreams had allied with the mages, and she’d seen many of them around Skyhold. She’d passed Fiona a few times when she went into the library. Morrigan still kept her distance from the former Circle mages. At least Skyhold hadn’t been overrun with Templars. That would’ve been intensely more awkward.
Alistair nodded, “That would be her.” It was still such a crazy thing to think, but considering the way Alistair’s life had gone so far in the dreams it would make sense that his mother would be someone he least expected. After all, if his father had been king then his mother could be Grand Enchanter, “Interesting lives we live, huh?”