Who: Max Rockatansky madman & Capable _capable_ What: Awkward Conversations When: Backdated, Wednesday, September 7, midday Where: Outside the Shared House Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Max is still schizophrenic with a weird speech pattern. Capable is still too sweet for words. Nothing comes to mind really in terms of real warnings as long as the reader is aware of the Mad Max canon. Status: Partner Thread/Complete Upon Posting
~*~
Max sat on the steps with his bad leg extended out in front of him. He couldn't stand the strain on the knee if he planted his foot on the step below, made it take his weight even while sitting. The pain was something he'd learned to accept. There were many things in life Max had learned to accept such as the fact he'd never have a second chance with his wife and son nor would he ever get the opportunity to live the life of a sane man again. His existence was one to be tolerated, survived, and Max was only really good at that last bit: surviving.
"Easier out here than in there. Always easier under the open sky than behind closed doors."
He'd heard her walking before he'd glanced to see her face. Capable was a lovely surprise. She'd become a very good friend of his over time and Max struggled with the idea he had friends at all. People in Orange County accepted him. The least he could do was offer up an explanation for sitting outside rather than going on in the way a normal person would. He knew how doors worked. Max wasn't stupid. It was simply as he'd said: easier outside in the world than inside a place where normal people lived.
What did Max know of normal anyway?
"And you? Are you well today?"
It was easier to talk about someone else. That was another thing Max knew; he happened to like Capable which made it considerably easier to listen to her talk on herself than to bring up his own problems.
~*~
Having only moved into their new place recently Capable was still excited about decorating and just being together with everybody. It was incredible to know they were able to be there for each other all the time now. Something Capable found reassuring. And they had made sure there was a room for Max too.
She smiled as he spoke, she hadn’t been able to sneak up on him in a while now and she kind of liked that. He was attuned to his environment in a way a lot of people weren’t.
“You’re always welcome here, inside or out” Capable said as she came to sit beside him, “It’s your home too”
“I’m good, trying to decide on a final colour for the room Furiosa and I have” she replied, leaning against his arm a little, “I’ve missed you lately, it’s been a while. I hope you’ll come by more now we’re all together”
~*~
"Been a long time since Max has lived in a home. House. Have one. Mobile home in a parking area made for them. Don't remember last time---last time I slept there."
His words were halting. Max was slowly trying to incorporate pronouns of ownership into his speech patterns. It was harder for him than for someone who had what he called a "normal brain." Max had seen a speech therapist at the vet hospital for a time after the bombing. They'd thought he'd suffered a stroke so small it didn't show up on their fancy brain scanners. It'd only been when they'd marked him off as simply mad they'd stopped working with him on retraining his brain to speak proper.
Splendid helped. She never judged him. Nice people like the poet fellow he'd met. Jean. Jehan. He'd been kind. He helped.
Capable was a welcome weight against his side; Max closed his eyes as he absorbed the heat of her body against his. There were no small comforts in Max's life. He'd learned to appreciate every kindness offered him as a true blessing seeing as kindness was sparse enough for normal people much less madmen. Friendship was something he'd thought he'd never experience again after his mind broke. What did he have to offer as a friend? Who could bring themselves to trust someone sick in their head as he was? How would anyone ever accept a broken man into their lives when the world was already damaged enough?
"You look happy. That's good. Working on being more of the type to see to people. Tending relationships is a bit like gardening from what Mum used to say. Got to put work in, watering and feeding and the like, if you expect anything to grow. Are you going to need help with the color changing? Painting or papering or what-have-you?"
~*~
Capable let him talk, knowing it was hard for Max not to speak about himself in the first person. She understood that, she’d done it for a while when she’d been in the institute. She never minded though, she loved Max for Max and the way he spoke didn’t change that.
Max was one of Capable’s most important friends and she would fight tooth and nail for him. He had far more to offer than he realised and she was proud to call him her friend. One day she hoped he would see that she, Furiosa and Splendid all saw him as the most amazing man he was.
“I am very happy, even more now that you’re here” she told him, he was the big brother she’d always wanted after all, “Don’t worry, we can all help you. We won’t ever pressure you, whenever you want us we’ll be here, you can count on that. We can be your home” she smiled her arm wrapping around his loosely, “Oh if you’d like to help that would be great. Furiosa is leaving it to me and I feel a little unstable on the ladder to do the high parts” she admitted.
~*~
Soft hands were becoming something Max enjoyed very much. He'd met so many people who had them now. Why was it he'd never known how soft a hand could be before he'd lost his sanity? Max supposed it was for the same reason most sane people never noticed the things around them: arrogance. People expected certain things out of life. They felt entitled to them. Max knew better. There was nothing he was entitled to in life except an expectation of death. Eventually, even survivors died.
Immortality was not something which existed even in his most mad of dreams.
Wrapping his right hand around Capable's forearm where she'd looped it around his left arm, Max rubbed his calloused thumb against the soft skin back and forth as if he were soothing a child.
"Taller than you. By some bit. Could do the higher parts easy. Would be no trouble. No worries, love. Max---I, I, I have no route this week. Labor Day gave a week instead of a day. Lucky, eh?"
Max grinned at her, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening from the expression. He was a man who looked as if he survived life rather than lived it. Mirrors didn't lie; Max was well aware the women of the house were all stars and bars more beautiful than he deserved to associate with yet it was their insides which made them truly beautiful. That was why they tolerated him, he imagined. They were beautiful on the inside and saw his insides weren't nearly as rough as his outsides.
~*~
Capable hoped for things in life and worked hard for them. She did think her friends deserved to be happy and enjoy their lives though and Max was definitely high up on her list of friends. He was family to her, just as Splendid and Furiosa were.
Max’s touch was soothing and she was pleased he accepted her affection more easily now than when they had first met. It made her happy.
“Very lucky and lucky for us too since it means we get to see you” she told him, “Splendid will be happy to see you too” she told him, “And the baby. I think after his mummy you are his favourite person” And why shouldn’t he be? Capable thought they made a lovely family unit and Max deserved the chance to be a father again. If the girls were asked they would tell anybody who would listen how beautiful Max was to them it was inside and out.
~*~
"Boy is very good. Makes the whole world brighter in the good way, not the sun blistering off the dead land sort of bright. Sometimes? That's what's on The Road when driving: nothing but bright light glaring off a dead land which isn't here at all. Thinking about Valerian helps. Helps muchly. Good boy. Strong. He'll do well with all the love he's got around him."
For Max, that was practically a speech fit for a lifetime. He had strong feelings for Splendid's son. They'd talked on their situation together. He wanted to be the man she deserved instead of the man he was yet she seemed content enough with him. Capable soothed something inside Max he didn't even know ached. It was as if she knew how to say to him 'You're good enough as you are. even though Max wasn't a real catch in any sense of the word. He found comfort in her presence the same way he did when he was around Splendid.
They were survivors of that same dead world he saw when he closed his eyes. It was nice to know he wasn't completely insane even if he had enough madness in him to set him up to be monitored by the social services workers.
"Might sleep here."
He said it as if it were an afterthought, something he wasn't certain about because he wasn't. Max hadn't slept in a house in so long. It had been another man's life the last time he'd laid his head down in a house instead of a trailer, an apartment, or a bunk on a rig. Max had slept more on the beach than he'd slept anywhere else in recent years. He was simply lucky the people at Huntington knew him enough to leave him be. Some were run off by the officers since loitering wasn't good for tourism. Max was left alone because those who patrolled the area knew too much of his sad life to want to break him further by telling him to leave one of the only places he found even a little peace.
~*~
Nodding Capable smiled, “I know exactly what you mean. He’s a wonderful boy who brightens our days” she said, she adored the baby she considered her nephew and knew that he meant the world to Max too. “He has so much unconditional love, we’ll all make sure he has a happy childhood” unlike her own had been. Capable felt that if she could ensure Valerian was happy that it would go someway to make up for her lack of happiness as a child.
“You have a room, we haven’t decorated it brightly or anything. But it has the biggest window, we thought you might like that” she told him, unsure whether Splendid had shown him yet or not. They had chosen it so that Max didn’t feel trapped, if he left the curtains open he would be able to see the stars in the sky. They had all thought he might like that since they knew he slept on the beach.
~*~
They'd given him a whole room to himself?
Max tried to wrap his mind around the idea anyone could want him to live with them. His nights were largely peaceful given when he did sleep it was under the influence of prescription drugs and when he didn't, well, he was happy enough star-gazing. The sky never failed to be beautiful no matter the condition of the weather. So many things were taken for granted by the people deemed 'normal,' Max wondered how anyone was ever happy for even a few fleeting moments.
"I've a room? Of my own?"
He tested the idea out in the form of a question, puzzlement making his craggy features seem even more worn than usual.
"Don't like white walls. White was the walls in the hospitals. In the lock-ups. Don't like white walls. Otherwise---pick a color for Max and we'll do lots of painting this week, yes?"
~*~
Capable watched as the emotions played out within Max, he had seemed so surprised when she mentioned his room. Perhaps Splendid had been waiting for the right moment to tell him, Capable hoped she hadn’t ruined anything but she had wanted him to know exactly how welcome he was with them.
“You have a room, all of your own” she confirmed giving his arm a gentle squeeze as she smiled at him.
“Alright, I will pick the best color for you and we shall use your free time to decorate” she nodded, perhaps blues or greens would be nice. Nothing too heavy but enough to take away the white and sense of hospitals. She should have thought of that, after all she didn’t like white walls for a similar reason.
~*~
"You're a good friend. Better than Max deserves."
He knew Capable would put thought into paintings or wall coverings or whatever she thought best to make up a room for him in their home. Max hadn't spoken on the house to Splendid except to ask if he'd be welcomed there. To visit her. To keep seeing her boy. To be a part of her life. Max thought it was a kindness beyond words she and the wives had considered him enough in their house-hunting to ensure there was a room spare for him to have to his own self. Money was something Max didn't think on often.
There was little he wanted or needed from a materialistic standpoint.
Max did make well enough on his long haul route to have plenty held back in savings. He could put something toward their home himself if they'd let him. It might even be time to let go of the trailer he'd never felt comfortable sleeping in yet had been forced to maintain to keep up appearances with the social workers, the doctors, the therapists and psychiatrist with their prying. Max only had an 'address' for the sake of having something to put on the pill bottles as far as he was concerned.
"C'mon along now then. We'll get a look at how much room we've to cover. The week'll be over before you know you've lived it. Fast. LIfe goes fast sometimes. Max will help with the costs as well. Not as if money's much of a matter for meself."
Offering Capable a hand up, Max moved to stand, ready to go inside in a way he'd not been before.
It felt different thinking he'd a place there.
Max didn't feel as if he were walking into a trap made of walls and doors and closed windows---he felt as if he were walking into a home.