Alphonse Elric is NOT the Fullmetal Alchemist (notthefullmetal) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-08-28 00:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | alphonse elric, edward elric |
Who: Edward and Alphonse Elric
What: Brother conversations.
When: Early April
Where: Their house
Rating/Warnings: Low
Status: Complete
Al sat at his desk in his room, hunched over a journal he had recently bought. Ever since he had started his dreams, the younger brother wanted to keep track of it all so he had taken to writing down anything that seemed to pertain to the ones his brothers down. Already there were pages full of important details, descriptions of the area, and even a few sketches of what he had seen. Then the dreams of alchemy had started to come and he had bought a separate notebook for that, filling it with the symbols and circles he remembered. He really hadn't tried much of it other than once or twice. Part of him wondered if it would cause more dreams. But the knowledge was in his head now and he decided that he should probably practice with it more.
Scooping up the notebooks, the younger brother left his room and walked the short trip down the hall to where he knew his brother would be. Stepping inside, he sat on the edge of the bed staring down at the books in his hand before looking to Ed.
“So I was thinking..” He started, holding one of them out to the other. “Maybe you could help me? I have it all in my head, but you're better at it. Even in my dreams.”
Ed was indeed in his room, but he was bored. He wasn’t reading when Al came in for once, he was flipping through mindless t.v. channels until he swapped over to the neglected playstation side of things. He rarely was interested in video games, it had mostly been purchased for Al but was in his room likely in some weird adult logic of forcing them together-not that they needed it. Ed was sliding through various puzzle games. “Crap, crap, crap, ultra crap” As he landed on a game titled My Little Pony and flipped entirely away without caring to read the discription. “Isn’t there anything mildly challenging?” He grumbled at the machine when Al sat down.
“Hnn?” He peered over his shoulder at him, dropping the controller in his lap and raising a blonde eyebrow. “Heh, you sure you want it? It’s not all fun.” In fact lately he wondered why. What had happened to the fun?
“You could try Final Fantasy,” he suggested briefly as he watched Ed flip through the various games that had been downloaded. “There's a million of them and they have some puzzles to get past stuff.”
At his brother's question he gave a small nod as he opened up the notebook. This ability was part of him now and it made sense to at least try to understand it more and get better at it. “I know it's not going to be just goofing off. But I should know this stuff better. And you're the best one to help me. You have always been the smarter one after all!” He flashed his brother a smile before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his keys. On one of the rings held the little animal he had transmutated in his dreams when the two of them wanted to show their mother what they learned. “I clearly need the practice.”
“Mm. Maybe.” He responded as he leaned back against the bed. Ed hadn’t really done too much since his stint in the hospital. He still went to lessons whenever Lina was able, but as far as anything actually interesting he seemed to be in a slump. “I’m no teacher, but you are a nerd..” He made a ‘tch’ sound with his teeth at his little brothers finest sucking up and folded his arms over his chest. An eyebrow raised at the small animal. “Even I got Lina y’know.” She was much nicer than Izumi sensei was. So much saner. “But you can’t slack or you’re not gonna get far at all.” He pointed at the notebook Al had actually gotten him recently on his desk. It was already pretty well worn from use and nearly full. Ed had used it well.
“Most of my notes end up in there. Dig through it, see what you make of it…” And then maybe when he was ready he’d show him Hohenheim’s journal. He’d gotten his alchemy notes from the dreams. But for now he’d stick to his own.
“I’m not the only nerd in this house!” He pointed out, setting aside his own notebooks to walk over to the desk and pick up his brothers. He was a little surprised at how full it was, but happy that his gift had turned out to be useful. There were a few symbols and notes that were familiar to him, but most of it was completely new.
“I think it’s good you had Lina to help you” He commented as he leafed through the pages. “And I don’t plan on slacking at all. Alchemy seems to play a very big part in our dream lives. It seems best to learn and understand it here too. I have all of these rules and formulas in my head, but they feel...jumbled I guess is the best word to describe it.”
On top of that most of it seemed to be written in code. A lot of advanced alchemy basically was code after all. Alchemy wasn’t just magic, you couldn't just do it because you really wanted to, it took a lot of work. Ed had sacrificed hours of precious sleep, school activities, and sometimes even class itself to figure out various formulas. “Neal’s son Henry is pretty into stuff like this. Thought we'd invite him along to the guild with us once you've got a handle on it. Doubt it'll take long. You're an Elric.” He had faith in his brother but also concern and worry in it for him too. “....ignore the section on human transmutation. We're not trying it here. “ Ed had only written it down in hopes to get it out of his brain. So far so good.
“Jumbled?” Maybe it had to do with him being in a metal suit or something who knew. All Ed knew was he still felt guilty. When Al looked at him it didn't seem to be with hatred or anger, but Ed would always wonder, he was just too scared to actually ask how he felt about it all just yet. Until he could get more feelers out there as to where he was in the dreams anyway.
Al tilted his head slightly as he looked over at Ed as his brother mentioned Henry. “Yeah? Have you showed him this stuff too?” He asked curiously. He hoped that the older boy was right and he got the hang of it easily. It all seemed interesting but at the same time dangerous. He was glad Ed was helping him.
“I'm not sure how to describe it without sounding like an idiot.” He admitted as he closed the notebook again. “My dream self seems to know a lot of all this. We poured over all of the books in the house. And now it's in real me’s head. I think my brain is still organizing everything or something.”
“It’s cool, you always sound like an idiot.” Ed teased as he threw a pillow at Al from his bed and leaned on his arms. “Yep. I got something interesting from the books in the house a while back, but I’ll show you later on.” He’d gotten hohenheim’s journal. The journal their shit father had left behind was literally the only useful thing that jackass had done for them. Ed had it in his possession.
“Gee thanks. That makes me feel better” the younger brother laughed, throwing the pillow back. It really did though. If Ed could joke about it it wasn't that serious. If Ed worried, he'd start worrying.
“Another book?” He questioned, looking over at him curiously. “Why the wait? You holding out on me now?”
He gave him a toothy grin and blocked the pillow with an arm. “That’s me, Mr. Sensitivity. “ He was anything but really unless you were Al, but even then unless you were ugly crying Ed could be a little dense. “ Same though. I kind of instantly went from zero to sixty when I showed up here. Just...don’t do what I did and start immediately looking into human transmutation. It’s not worth it.” He’d come a long way to be able to admit that now emotionally.
“I could show it to you, but it would basically be gibberish. It’s not written in alchemy it’s written in code.” He shrugged a shoulder and laid back. “I’ve only even translated a piece or two.”
“I won't. Promise.” The boy said turning serious briefly. He knew why Ed wanted to do it in their dreams. They wanted their mom back. The only person in the world they'd had. And Al went along with it. He understood how it could bleed into their real lives too. But his brother was right. It wasn't worth it.
“Will you show me?” The younger boy asked when Ed mentioned doing it only a few times. “I've only tried once and it came out looking weird.”
“I’ll kick your ass if you try. You know I can.” In the dreams they were nearly a match, but in this reality Ed was 98% sure he could take Al if he needed to, although Al could be cunning and stubborn if the situation called for it too..after all he was an Elric, and not one that failed at life. Al was his little brother. He reached into the drawer by his bedside and pulled out a musty old journal that looked like it’d been through hell. Even some of the pages were burnt on the edges.
“I’ll help you...I’m not really a teacher, I might suck at it but...I’ll help how I can. It might be harder here so don’t be discouraged.” He wanted someone to talk about alchemy with, he’d always wanted that. Riza only understood bits of it, he tried to tell her more but he couldn’t go into details without confusing her too much. “You’re the only one I’ve shown this too, so…” He trailed off, he didn’t think he needed to tell him to be careful with it.
“So violent,” the younger boy teased, sighing dramatically as he watched his brother pull out an old book. He didn't doubt it one bit though. Thinking back on how they talked about it, how they wanted to use it to bring back mom..it made him feel uneasy. But there had been so much pain and grief. She was all they had. He could understand why they wanted it.
He didn't take the book at first. He just looked at it sitting in Ed’s hands. When he mentioned that al was the only other person to see it, the younger brother was a little bit surprised.
“You haven't shown this to anyone?” He questioned. “Not even Raven?”
“Tch.” made a noise of disbelief at his brothers comment as he shrugged and handed over the delicate book. “Why would I? It’s not hers.” Raven knew a lot about him, but not everything. “...So you know, she kind of is my girlfriend now.” Ed looked a little embarrassed at the confession. “Winry probably won’t like the news. Maybe I just won’t mention it in the next letter since she went home anyway….” Ed shrugged, better that than to face the wrath of Winry’s wrench. “Tell the truth though I’m not exactly sure what to do with the title now.” He shrugged as he watched Al inspect the old notebook. “Careful, it’s pretty beaten up.”
Al snorted slightly at his brothers commented and shook his head.
“Oh you two finally decided to put a label on it?” He asked with a teasing grin. With the way the two were it was surprising that it wasn't sooner. Ed was an idiot when it came to girls though. But the important thing was that Raven seemed to make him happy and Al was glad that his brother had someone like that in his life.
“I don't think it really matters if Winry likes it,” he said thoughtfully as he carefully turned the pages. “It's like you said, she moved back home. It wouldn't be far of her to have any expectations of you. She is more likely to kill you though if she finds out from someone other than you though.” After a few more page turns, the younger Elric shut the book gently. “You're right. I can't make heads or tails of this.”
“Oh shut up.” He said with a roll of his eyes as he laid back on his bed lazily with feet dangling over the edge. “Lousy old journal’s the only useful thing he’s left behind and I can’t even decipher it.” Ed was as good at alchemy as other people were at breathing. It was natural to him as though it were an extension of his own body, but that didn’t even look like alchemy. It looked like a recipe of some kind. “Don’t feel bad, I don’t really get much of it either. It’s coded I think.”
“I'm not sure if it's depressing or comforting that he's the same in the dreams,” he sighed, looking down at Ed. His father was someone he didn't think they'd ever understand. Much like the book his brother now had in his possession. “Maybe you decode it in your dreams? Though I really don't like the idea. I hate it when you have them.”
“Me either.” He peered over at Al with a small frown, maybe he shouldn’t have given him that book judging by the look on his face. Too late now. When Al closed it though he took it back once more to put it on his desk by his bed. He didn’t feel like getting up anymore and putting it back in the book case. “Mm. Maybe. I haven’t had any lately..but I don’t think they are over.” Ed shrugged as he brushed a strand of hair from his face. “I’d stop them for you if I could.” He didn’t know if he’d stop them for himself. “Seems like you can deal with them a bit better than i can.”
“It's not that I want you to stop them,” he said, even though it was partially a lie. “It's just..I hate the way they affect you. You get sick, you get so sad sometimes. And I can't do anything to make it better, to ease if for you at all.”
Al frowned as he watched his brother. He knew that Ed learned things from the dreams. Alchemy was natural for the older brother, something it seemed he could do without even thinking about it. But at what cost? “I only deal with them better because I haven't had as many as you have” he pointed out. “The only bad thing that happened in mine so far was losing Mom again.”
“The sick part is frustrating.” He admitted, but shrugged. “I’m getting used to it though, it’s just how it goes.” When one had metallic body pieces it was a lot of pressure on ones body but he was getting used to it. Instead of sharp pains it wa more like constant dull pain, he could cope with that. “You do plenty just being around.” Though occasionally he wished Al knew more about their world so he could tell him things a little easier, but he wondered if he would even then. Ed felt responsible for protecting Al from the things from their world, the less exposed he was to it the better.
“Maybe you’ll get a pass.” That would ease the worry in his head quite a bit actually of Al turning into that damn armor. He still had the occasional nightmare of that, and still regularly checked on him in the middle of the night. “...That was literally the only reason I stopped writing you know. I didn’t want you to deal with this.”
“I hated it when you stopped,” Al said, nudging his brothers leg. “At first I thought you hated me because of the whole dad situation. But I guess it was a good thing in the end because it made me come here. Even if you were a jerk.”
There was still a fear in the back of Al's mind that their dad would one day show up and try and take him back. He couldn't wrap his head around a father wanting one son over the other. It was baffling.
“I never hated you.” The opposite really, he loved him so much he didn’t want him to suffer. That point had never even crossed his mind that Al might think otherwise. “I didn’t realize what this place was until I was too far into it...I didn’t want..I can’t let you end up like you did in the dreams.” He still hated himself for it. Even if it wasn’t reality there.
“I don’t care about dad. If he doesn’t want me that’s just fine, I’m fine without him.” Ed said with a shrug, not sure if he’d said that allowed to convince himself or Al at this point. Either one was possible. He laid back on his bed tiredly. “So many times I wanted to tell you stuff that none of the rest of them would get..I thought you’d hate me too.” He wasn’t sure if he meant past him, dream him, or current him-but he didn’t elaborate either way. “Somehow maybe I deserved not having you around for what I did.”
“I could never hate you.” Al replied with complete sincerity. Ed was the one who was always there for him, the one who tried his best to take care of him when he was still only a kid himself. Hate was not a feeling he’d ever be capable of when it came to his brother.
Laying next to Ed, Al stared at the ceiling as he listened to the older boy. “I know I’ve probably said this a lot. But you can’t blame yourself for what happens in these dreams.” He said. “If something...happens to me, it not your fault. It was because of the dreams. You didn’t cause them, and you’d never do anything here to hurt me. And I want you to tell me the things that happen in them that bother you. You shouldn’t keep them to yourself, especially when they upset you or hurt you. You wouldn’t want me to keep them to myself and suffer alone.”
“Yeah well there’s good reason for that.” Ed frowned a little as he leaned his head on his own arms and shrugged. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” But if you say so Al, Ed didn’t really leave much room for argument there. “No, not on purpose anyway…” Dream him could be a little reckless though and he knew it, but real him was improving somewhat. Far less instances of him just running off unannounced. He seemed to have calmed down quite a bit since Al first arrived. He was evening out finally. “I’ll try.”
“As long as you try, I won't have to kick your butt.” he teased. With Ed, saying ‘I’ll try’ wasn’t just a brush off. Al knew that he really would. But he knew it would be hard. His brother was always the rock, the one to lean on. It was hard to convince him that he could lean on people too.
Sitting up, the younger brother grabbed the second controller before tossing the other one back to Ed. “Now after all of that serious business, I suggest we have some junk food and Mortal Kombat battle to the death!” It was silly, but Al thought some mindless hanging out was something that the both of them needed.