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Hanna Marin knows what Hanna Marin means (numbtothedanger) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-08-07 10:55:00

Who: Caroline and Hanna
What: Spa day turned upside down thanks to the dreams
When: 7 August 2016
Where: Heading to spa
Warnings: Low
Status: Log | Complete

There really was no break between finding out that Cece was Charles and suddenly being five years in the future. Which, that future? A lot to take in. But of course they had been brought back to Rosewood because of Alison. And of course Cece got out because all of them had wanted to say they were fine with it, except Aria, and now there was another murder to figure out and they were falling into old habits. And she was engaged. To someone who wasn’t Caleb. And while she was trying to ignore the flashes of memories she had in regards to how she and Caleb had broken up…. It was hard.

Especially when she woke up that morning. Spencer and Caleb. There was something going on and Spencer asked her permission. Denied that it started in Madrid but she couldn’t shake that feeling. And then when she sat up and went to grab her phone from the nightstand? There was a ring box. Apprehensive, but needing to know, Hanna reached over and opened it, staring at the engagement ring from her dreams, from Jordan.

Oh god.

“Seriously!?”

Groaning, the blonde flopped back onto her bed and smothered herself with a pillow to scream in frustration. It was hard to ignore those memories now that the ring was there, taunting her. And the memories that she had tried to ignore about those missing five years? Those were picking at her, poking at every single insecurity she had. And apparently her heart was breaking and she was crying because when she finally took the pillow off her face, her vision was blurry from tears that she had to blink back before sitting up and wiping at her eyes.

Right. She and Caroline were meeting up for a spa day. Something Hanna desperately needed now, more than she had when she first found out about Cece being A. Without really thinking, Hanna threw the engagement ring in her bag to blame Caroline for (as she had said if she ever got a dream engagement ring, it was Caroline’s fault) and because of everything it represented.

Caroline was already at the spa, waiting for Hanna. Her life was going pretty well at the moment. Hell even her dreams. Her dream pregnancy was over with finally. And yeah of course there was a huntress after her boyfriend or whatever but she could deal with that. Dealing with dream!baddies was a lot easier than watching your dreamself experience something you never could.

She was in a good mood (as usual) and ready to do some serious cheering up for Hanna. Her friends dreams sounded so horrible. The whole anonymous stalker thing. Getting a new one? She felt like drinks the other night had helped but she had a feeling that wasn’t going to do it with everything Hanna had gone through lately. Plus, Caroline would never turn down a spa day. So here she was, in the lobby of the spa waiting for her friend to show up.

Spa days were definitely necessary. Because sure, the drinks had helped in regards to the initial time jump and absurdity of Cece as A. But that was before she learned about what happened in that time jump. Before the one where she had just given Spencer her blessing to be with Caleb because she was supposed to be over him, she told herself that repeatedly in the dreams and she did love Jordan. Yet…. and with Caleb having acted strange the day before? Now she was wondering if it had something to do with…

Ugh. No. Spa day. Mostly.

She really wished she was in a better mood. But no matter. Arriving at the spa, Hanna noted that Caroline was already there and gave a slight wave. Yeah. Definitely not in a good mood. There was a cloud over her now. Everything just poking and prodding and making her doubt. Question. She really hated the fact that her insecurities had flared up all over again and no amount of saying things were different here was helping.

Caroline frowned when she saw Hanna. Something was up. She could immediately tell Hanna was in a bad mood and as she got closer her eyes looked a little puffy. Like she had been crying. “What’s wrong?” Caroline asked with a frown.

“Is your mom okay? Did something happen with Caleb?” Of course her mind wasn’t jumping to dreams. It seemed like Hanna had just had a huge dream what with the whole finding out who A was thing. There was no way the world was cruel enough to give her more so soon.

One would think that with the big news of A earlier in the week, that would be it. No more major blows. But no. That would be nice and goodness knew the dreams didn’t do nice. But dammit, apparently she hadn’t managed to cover up the fact she was upset and had been crying as much as she had hoped when she had left.

“Yeah, my mom’s fine. Caleb’s… weird.” That was one way to put it. Mostly just because she had picked up on a habit of his when it came to the dreams, and following the past three dreams she’d had? She was definitely wondering if he was up to that point as well. And she didn’t know how to ask. Or what it meant for her. And it was making her question the potential move to New York and it was ten shades of ugh.

“Dreams. Oh. Also?” Pulling out the engagement ring box, she handed it to Caroline, “This is also your fault.” She might be emotionally distressed from the dreams, but she remembered that.

“Oh my god!” Caroline exclaimed in excitement picking up the ring to look at it. “It’s gorgeous. Way better than mine,” her ring from Alaric was quite tiny. But Alaric didn’t have much taste. “Caleb proposed?” She was assuming this was a dream ring. Caroline also remembered the conversation after she had received Alaric’s ring. “Wait, why is that bad?” Because Hanna was clearly upset.

“Caleb didn’t propose for real did he?” That was the only thing Caroline could think of. Although why that would make Hanna upset she didn’t know. Confused maybe, they were young. But upset? This was not adding up.

It was a nice ring, there was no doubt about that. In the dreams, Hanna loved it. And if it weren’t tied with such confusing and upsetting feelings here? She’d feel awkward but still appreciate it. However, between the break up with Caleb in the dreams, the fears it stoked in her, the parallels to her father, and then the Spencer thing on top of it? It was just painful.

“No. He didn’t.”

God she didn’t know how to explain it.

“Not here. Not in the dreams.” And it was hitting her harder than it should. But nothing about the dreams was logical. The emotional bleedover was hard, especially given she was with Caleb here and then what happened and she couldn’t ignore that aspect anymore. Not with the ring. Not with the fact Caleb and Spencer had a thing in them now.

Caroline frowned in confusion trying to process everything. “Then where did the ring come from? Isn’t Caleb your boyfriend?” Hanna had mentioned there being a time jump, but from everything she heard about their dream relationship it didn’t seem like they were breaking up any time soon.

All Hanna could do was scoff some. Because of course. Of course something would have gone wrong. That’s how it always went in the dreams. And of course it hit on every.single.issue she had with herself and her past and her insecurities. Which was why she shook her head.

“Apparently not. We go to New York, I start working towards my career and somewhere along the line….” Shrugging, Hanna found one of the waiting chairs to sit in as they still had time before the actual going into the spa.

“In some ways it’s Devil Wears Prada, you’ve changed or can’t stand by it, dissatisfaction. Then… and then…. Scheduling issues so I had to postpone a trip. You walk out that door and I’ll be gone, I leave because I was only going to be a couple days late then in the taxi I think I’m being stupid so that whole stupid romantic comedy scene of running through the rain. Go back and he’s gone. Everything just packed and gone and he leaves his phone behind.”

It shouldn’t be so upsetting, and yet…. Yet she was actually with Caleb here. He wasn’t just some dream boyfriend. The reasoning. Her father. It all added up.

“And now five years later, I’m engaged to this guy named Jordan and Spencer asks me my permission to try a relationship with Caleb. And from the timing and how she reacted, clearly they met up in Milan soon after and there was something but she had known we had just broken up and just….”

She didn’t understand and it hurt.

Hanna wasn’t the only one that didn’t understand. Caroline was very confused. And poor Hanna, she was rambling and not making much sense. Clearly she was trying to make sense of her new set of dreams which Caroline got.

She sat down in the chair next to Hanna, wrapping an arm around her for a comforting half hug. “Okay,” she said when she pulled away. “First of all you and Caleb are still together here, right? So just hold on to that. It has to be hard though. If Peeta was also my dream boyfriend and then we were just broken up? I don’t know how I’d be able to handle that.” Granted Caroline went through dream boyfriends like she went through shoes but that wasn’t the point at the moment.

“So you and Caleb moved to New York? And you were focussing on your career and then what? There was a trip and he gave you an ultimatum?” She’d get to the rest of it later, right now she was just trying to sort out the beginning of what Hanna said.

For all of her trying to desperately find validation in relationships, she and Caleb had basically been together the entirety of her dreams. Barring Ravenswood and when he had broken up with her because she’d been lying about A being back. But even then, it had always been Caleb for her. Add in being with him here and everything was that much harder.

“Yeah….” Even though the whole thing felt like some bright flashing warning sign of what was to come. And Hanna wasn’t exactly known for being the most rational when it came to her emotions and feeling like things weren’t in her control.

“After high school. We moved to New York for school and he had a job there…. Moved in together. I had a five year plan once I graduated for making it in the fashion industry, but I was going to get it done in three,” Because of course. It was Hanna. “And he seemed to get it. Or I thought he did. But he would come to events and stay outside in an alley with a stray cat.. Or just…” She didn’t know. “Anyway, we had planned this trip to do backpacking across Europe, but a work thing came up that I couldn’t miss and I was trying to tell him it would be fine, I’d just catch a later flight but then the ultimatum if I went to the work thing instead of the airport. I chose work only to come back. I mean, I know New York traffic is intense, but it wasn’t that long between when I left and when I ran in the stupid rain like I was in some romcom to tell him he mattered more but he was gone, all his stuff, gone. Just like my dad.”

“That’s…” Caroline paused trying to find the right word. “Dramatic.” Because seriously who ran through the rain other than in romantic comedies? And who just left like that? Apparently they were going on a trip or something but why would Caleb take all his stuff with him on a trip? That was messed up. But then when weren’t the dreams messed up and dramatic?

“But things are fine here right? Other than Caleb acting weird?” Which strange but Caroline didn’t think he was going to suddenly give Hanna an ultimatum or leave her like that. She had seen how Caleb looked at her. “He’s not your dad.” She had no idea about dream!Caleb but still. And Caroline got the dad thing. She was worried guys would leave her like her father had too. But at some point she had to let go of that and trust Peeta. Now that she had she had never been happier.

“I know it’s weird to be engaged in the dreams to not your real life boyfriend.” Or just in general. “But just try and focus on your relationship here. That’s what matters.”

There really was no other word for it. Hanna wasn’t oblivious to the sheer tropiness of the action. Then again, she tended to be genre savvy in her own way when it came to the dreams. So she was definitely aware that it really was only something that you would expect to happen in some romantic comedy. Only in those? In those the heroine made it just in time and everything worked out. In the dreams? No. As if Caleb had already had one foot out the door and everything was packed already and she just hadn’t noticed.

“I guess. I don’t know.” It was hard to tell. Because Caleb got weird when he was ahead of her and now that she knew what had happened? And it was easy to say someone wasn’t going to turn out one way. But given it wasn’t like she and Caleb were super different from their dream selves, the fact that she always had thrown herself into relationships only to get hurt again. Fears and insecurities she had thought she was over suddenly were cropping up again.

“Yeah….” Easier said than done.

“I think you need to talk to Caleb about it all,” Caroline said giving her a reassuring smile. “If he’s at the same point in the dreams as you are he’s probably just as confused.” Not that Caroline really knew what the hell Caleb thought. But going off of everything she knew and had seen between the two of them? She was fairly certain with her guess.

“And if you need me to yell at him I’m on it,” she grinned. “But for now we have a perfect day of relaxation ahead of us. “ And yeah it sounded like Hanna definitely needed it even more so now.