terribly sorry, officer (baelfiery) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-08-05 19:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, emma swan, neal cassidy (baelfire) |
Who: Neal & Emma (with Nikolas)
What: Getting used to caring for a newborn, aka, getting used to no sleep
When: Recently!
Where: Casa de Swanfire
Rating/Warnings: All the feels
Status: Complete
In some ways, coming home was a little anti-climatic. Of course when leaving the house was a car chase with flying monkeys, anything would be an anticlimax after that. Not that Emma was complaining. The quiet return was nice. Being home a few days now, having gotten through the crash course in babies; how to feed, best way to bathe, nappy changing, cleaning around the cord tag, proper support, burping, the endless list of things it had seemed, but something they’d taken in avidly. Emma was less lethargic, but still tired, possibly due to the required feeding almost every two hours so far, but they could swap that out when she was expressing. She loved Niko, she loved every second, but god damn she needed to sleep some time. It was still pretty early in the morning, Niko had been up and fussing for about an hour already, having been fed and changed, nursed a little, Emma had opted for lying him in the bed for now, shuffling herself over while he lay there, her fingers running around the open palm of his tiny little hand. “He’s so little.” For a little tubber, all chubby the way he was, he was still small compared to what Emma was used to -and she was used to their almost-teenager. Nikolas was healthy (okay, gearing up to be an adorably fat baby), that was for certain, something that both his parents were surely grateful for - he’d been born with no complications and was just as chubby and cute as could be. And while technically he didn’t do much besides eat and sleep (and cry, and shit his diaper) for Neal it felt like their days were packed. Probably because newborns required constant care - it wasn’t like he could walk to the changing table and grab something fresh, or actually say ‘hey ma, I’m hungrrrryyyy’ so they had to rely on deciphering his cries and wails in order to figure out what he wanted. Carrying a load of freshly clean laundry, the basket full of adult clothes with newborn onesies and towels folded on top along with more baby wipes, he set everything down by the bed. Those baby wipes were handmade too, the recipe given to him by Splendid - in addition to that, she’d shown him how to concoct a better version of butt cream and baby powder as well, for those clouds of snowy, soothing delight to a wet bum. Maybe it was Neal being paranoid about chemicals, but she’d really given him things to think about, so, he was going to keep up the regimen as long as he could. Until he passed out, or gave in and went with store-bought wipes. “I think he does have my nose,” the proud papa noted, beginning to stock their makeshift changing table with more supplies - he’d fold the laundry in a minute. There was an actual changing table in the safari nursery too, but honestly, you just kind of made your own surfaces in every room of the house. Something he’d discovered, what with constantly changing those diapers. “But I hope he turns blonde. Lina’s right, this kid needs to look like you.” Emma had plenty of complaints about Niko’s size before, the hour after his birth when the drugs wore off and the aftermath of birthing came screaming back to her. But in hindsight, it wasn’t so terrible, and those endorphins from the whole experience really dulled the memory of it all. That and the snuggly, chubby little rolls of baby she had to commemorate the whole thing. So far, Neal’s attention to the non-chemical, non-additive baby care was almost as adorable as their gurgly bouncing boy, extremely protective papa was a very good look on Neal for sure. And she appreciated the attention to detail that came with it all. Stroking over the current tufts of dark hair, the softness of Niko’s head making Emma all the more gentle, she figured she could probably see the resemblance. “My hair, your eyes,” to match with Henry really, “cute little button nose.” And that got a little poke too as Emma leaned in to press a kiss on the kids head. She actually found it difficult to not be touching him at any given moment. “I dunno, I don’t think it’d be so bad if he grew up looking like his daddy,” Because there was plenty that Emma appreciated about Neal. “He might need to, if he’s gonna pull off that nose.” “Ha,” Neal laughed, poking at his own nose - of course, this made him go kind of cross-eyed, but was it a huge honker or something? He mostly thought it was normal-sized. Maybe a little long. Definitely not a button nose, or cute, but Niko would grow into it - his face was still small, and mostly all cheeks. “Your mom’s funny, Nik,” he said, reaching over to offer an index finger. Which of course the baby grasped at - he could make a fist, it was one of his newborn attributes. And Neal was just so curious about how over the course of development he would see the world, and learn and grow. But back to folding laundry, while Niko kicked his legs and made gurgling sounds - his version of communication, for the time being. When he started actually saying words, all bets were off. “You feeling okay?” Neal asked Emma. “He shouldn’t be hungry for a little while yet, if you wanted to get some sleep.” May as well take it while you could - they were sort of getting into a system, where one would be up and likely pacing with a very awake baby while the other parent attempted some shut eye. Sometimes Henry even helped too. The routine was new, and while Emma was mostly grateful that others could share the burden of baby duty now and she wasn’t just the incubation pod, she was struggling to tear herself away unless she was dead on her feet. But so far that morning, it wasn’t too bad, and she was fine with lying calmly next to Niko for now. “One of us has to be, you’re all dad-jokes and embarrassing stories,” but it wasn’t like Emma’s humour was all that much better, was it? A content baby was clearly just the right accompaniment for teasing Neal, even while she watched dutiful daddy fold all the laundry like a pro. “We make cute kids.” They did, little chubby, cute, rolly babies that grew into smart, inquisitive kids. From what Neal could tell, since Regina had given him the baby pictures, Henry had been kind of rolly polly too - and then he grew into a beanpole, so that was probably the trend with his and Emma’s kids also. That, and they were cute. “Most definitely,” he grinned, and since Niko had just been nursed he’d probably have to poop soon - such a delight, how tiny those digestive systems were and how quickly sustenance traveled through them. Neal was keeping an eye on the situation, while he took care of the laundry. “He’s gonna end up making that pirate-made blanket his lovey too - that’s an actual thing, I read about it.” Yes, the term lovey - something soft and comforting that the baby attached himself to, in order to help him get back to sleep at night when he awakened; Niko was too young now, to form those attachments, but at about four months was when it would happen. Then he’d probably carry around the thing until it unraveled into one lone piece of yarn. But it made sense - Emma’s dream self had her baby blanket for years and years, the one piece of childhood lore. “Well he needs his lovey,” it was definitely a comfort thing, Emma totally understood that. Having that one thing that just soothed, and it was important. It would hold more meaning that it was the blanket his godfather made for him. “You do know you don’t need to inhale all these parenting books,” it was comical sometimes, the information they were coming out with that they’d read in these books, other times it was exceptionally helpful, so sure, there were pros and cons. But sometimes it just seemed like trying to take in all these things would make them miss out on stuff. “Although having a guru on baby care is a great thing, babe.” “Do you think I really count as a guru?” Neal snorted a laugh, separating the clothes - there were adult things, teenage things, and then little baby onesies that were really just too fucking adorable for words. The ‘adult’ things tended to have more stains though - sometimes there was just no getting a particularly troublesome spot of spit-up from a t-shirt. He probably needed to go all hardcore with a baking soda paste or something. “I think it’s kinda like ‘fake it til you make it.’ Or, I don’t know. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision. What if that one wrong decision screws him up forever and he has to go into therapy?” It was difficult to say exactly what that decision would be, but. It remained something Neal was a little paranoid about anyway. He also read a metric shit ton of parenting books, to try to soak it all in, because part of him thought he always needed to atone for not being there for Emma the first time. Despite how, in this life, they hadn’t even known each other very well. “We should plan a date or something though,” he added. “Once Nik’s a little less breakable. Something to look forward to.” The first couple of months, especially while Emma was still on maternity leave, it was constant care. But then Neal assumed parents kind of got back on some type of normal life schedule. A little. They both had their regrets, and their worries. For what they hadn’t done in the past, either here or within the dream world, and the mistakes they could end up making. But it wasn’t like they could really prepare for that. Giving Niko’s round little tummy a quick kiss, Emma made sure he was safely in the centre of the bed before moving up behind Neal, arms wrapping round him to rest her hand on his heart. “You need to stop worrying, you’re gonna be an amazing dad, and there’s no way you’re gonna be able to screw him up, not with this much love.” Whatever had happened had happened, and Emma had let go of that in both of the world’s. This was their second chance at being a family, the four of them. “Hmm, getting you to myself for an hour or two? No baby spit or wailing?” It was a constant stream right then; feeding, burping, sleeping, pooping, nursing. All of it, she was either catching a shower or sleep while Neal tended Niko, or he was doing it while she did. Trading off for an hour or two with any one of their ensnared babysitters so they could do something so normal as a date would be nice. “You have a landmark moment in mind for that? The first time he manages to pee in someone’s eye?” That rumour about boys and helicopter pee was not a rumour. He liked bear hugs, attack-from-behind-hugs, especially from Emma. Neal let out a rumbly sigh, hand covering hers and holding it where it was. “I’ll believe you, I guess. Good pep talk, coach,” he grinned, tilting his head back to also get a nuzzle with his nose in there too - yeah, that infamous nose his baby boy had, how cute. “And I think when he pees in someone’s eye, or doesn’t have such a floppy head,” Papa decided, looking fondly at the gurgling infant. “But I guess it’s technically his neck that’s floppy.” Poor thing and the bones not being all fused there, or whatever it was - it just meant he got to snuggle the tiny wonder close to him, and fall asleep with Niko passed out on the rise and fall of his chest. The lack of spit-up was definitely an appealing factor in date plans though, he had to say. “A night free from a screaming baby and being clean, whatever will do we with ourselves? Maybe not a movie. We’d fall asleep in the theater.” Legit. Snuggles were the best, and she’d definitely been enjoying the abundance of them lately. Even when Niko fell asleep after a feed and burp, just resting on someone’s chest and that was the entertainment for a few hours, just watching him and completely neglecting everything else. “I’ll keep reminding you if I need to.” Emma highly doubted it was possible to love someone too much, but she figured if it was possible, that was how much Neal loved their sons. “The squishy bit of his skull is less squishy too.” All those odd little things about babies, but then when she thought about the process again, it made sense that he needed to be a little bit flexible. “But that sounds like a good idea,” something for them to start weaning themselves off his constant presence, edging into resuming normal life. Regardless of how much they just wanted to not leave him. She’d need to make herself get through a few hours of not checking up on him. “How about a dinner where no one is attached to my boob or needing burped afterwards?” Movies would definitely just lead to sleep. And Emma wasn’t drinking while she was breast feeding either. Not to mention they’d probably still manage to fall asleep with any help from alcohol. “I wonder what it’s like to feel like adults again.” Although really, she wouldn’t swap this for anything. “Probably will make us feel like weeping tears of joy,” Neal hummed, a nostalgic sound for ye olde days. He finished folding the laundry and couldn’t resist, picking the baby up carefully and sliding a hand behind Niko’s head to account for that squishiness. Then settled the littlest Cassidy on his shoulder, patting his back, rubbing soothingly while Nik looked so sleepy and exhausted. It was rough, being cuddled and carried everywhere all the time. Not like Neal would trade any of this for whatever else either, however. Fatherhood, even the sleepless nights and the diaper challenges, were as fulfilling as he’d imagined. “Dinner at the very least,” he said. “Maybe ice cream and something relaxing by the beach too. And Nik can pee in Killian’s eye for the night. We’ll make sure the shitter’s ready to go too, all nice and sloshy with liquid.” It built character, changing all those dirty diapers. You’re welcome, Hook. Or just weeping tears of exhaustion. Of course, watching Niko nuzzle into his father’s shoulder, the way Neal cradled him like he was the most precious thing in the world, Emma didn’t really mind the exhaustion too much at all during those moments. “I like the sound of this more and more.” She’d have thought she’d had enough of ice cream, but it seemed like that was just a constant Emma craving now. Something she was completely fine with, because there were plenty of flavours to keep things interesting. “We really do need to make sure he’s ready for the challenges.” Challenges of more than just tending a baby with one hand too. Mmm, ice cream. Neal thought he’d be tired of it too (because sympathy cravings, or something, occasionally he’d felt like eating whatever Emma wanted - provided it wasn’t too out there) but he really wasn’t. In fact, it was especially refreshing now, thanks to a dry summer and the weather being stupid hot. So, seemed like a pretty solid plan to him overall. “Well, he ate breakfast - “ Stated with a glance down at the infant he was cradling, “Maybe we should think about it too? He might even be down long enough to actually cook something, and consume it. As opposed to scarfing.” They did that a lot, usually switching on and off. You just got to the point where things were like a well-oiled machine, with enough practice. “And the bonus is that Henry will be awake soon,” Neal added. Which meant an extra two pairs of eyes to watch Niko, while his parents did something else - like either shower or feed themselves, whatever was more pressing at the time. “See,” Emma just joined Niko in nuzzling at Neal’s shoulder a little, “we’ve got this domestic thing down.” Oddly, it was going fairly well. So far, so good. “You trust me to make pancakes? Or waffles? Since you’ve armoured yourself with the infant?” Emma hadn’t hit the ‘shit, I’ve only had four hours sleep’ stride yet, she was still in the ‘well, I’m up’ stage of things. With Henry getting up soon it did mean that they could at least be less one in and one out about things too. “I think we kinda hit the jackpot with older kid younger kid,” not that they planned that, but it was certainly more helpful having a newborn and a pre-teen rather than a toddler. The world was mysterious and majestic and clearly knew that Emma would’ve put the wrong baby in the crib if she had two young ones. Pancakes sounded pretty damn delicious, actually. Neal was all for that - his stomach even growled in agreement. An actual meal that wasn’t a can of some type of energy drink and a granola bar? It must be the age of miracles. “As long as you make those pancakes heart-shaped,” he teased, leaning in to plant a kiss on Emma, still carrying the baby - who was now suctioned to Neal’s shoulder, not that he minded. It was probably a nice change of pace for Emma, considering she had the small life form attached to her chest region frequently - or she was pumping milk and yeeeeah, women were awesome. No wonder nature didn’t trust men with this shit. And speaking of the jackpot, there was their older kid now. “Moooooom! Dad!” yelled Henry from the hallway, after his door opened. “I CAN’T FIND MY CAPTAIN AMERICA SHIRT!” It was with the laundry, so no wonder. But oh, the dulcet tones of their pre-teen firstborn. It was gonna be a good day. “I find it amazing that he has a dozen comic related shirts, but he always wants the one that was just washed.” It was like Henry’s secret super power. “C’mon then, papa,” heart shaped pancakes she could do, Emma might suck at general cooking, but she was awesome at breakfast. “We can make sure the superhero has the right shirt on too.” Small prices to pay for the domestic life. |