InsaneJournal

Who: Claire Redfield and Dean Winchester
What: Talking about a Friend's impending Death
When: Late April [Backdated]
Where: Their Apartment
Rating/Warnings: Teenish/Some language, and talk about death
Status: Closed/Complete Upon Posting



Claire knew that something was going on with Dean before he even said anything. They'd been together long enough for Claire to be able to read him, to know when he was having a bad day or when something was bothering him. She hadn't known what was going on, but she could see it on his face the minute he walked into the door after work.

Claire had greeted him with a smile and a kiss to the cheek, before giving a nod of her head toward the living room. "Go sit, I'll grab beers and we'll talk." There was a matter of factness to her tone, as if she wouldn't take no for an answer and really she wasn't going to this time.

Something was clearly bothering the man she cared about, and she was going to find out what it was and what she could do to help support him. Going to the kitchen, Claire grabbed two beers, and then proceeded back into the living room. She sat down beside him, handing over a beer, "Alright," she reached for the bottle opener that sat on the coffee table, "what's going on?"

~*~

Beer wasn't hard enough for what Dean needed. It was what he'd been offered all the same and he'd sat for hours beside Stefan drinking tequila before sobering up with the six-pack of beer he'd come armed with to start their evening off. Bon Voyage parties were what Dean Winchester did best. He was the guy who was used to watching everyone around him die when he wasn't the one doing the dying.

Dragging a long draught from the bottle, Dean cleared his throat before offering, "My best friend is dying and I can't do a damn thing about it. Seems I have a tendency to make friends with vamps only to wind up being the one who ends their supposed immortality. Lucky me, huh?"

Claire rarely asked about his Dreams. Dean was grateful for her restraint. They had problems in their real lives which they could address together. Rent getting paid on time, making sure Dean could afford time away from Rainbow Motor Repair to do lawns, seeing Claire was healthy, keeping the fridge stocked---those were all things they could handle together. They were shared needs being met by their collective whole.

He didn't want to make her have to come to his side to fight the things he saw in the dark.

Claire didn't deserve to live in the Hell Dean kept getting thrown back into.

~*~

Claire's lips drew into a straight line as she listened to Dean talk about Stefan. She knew how much the man meant to Dean, and she could understand how it felt to know that you were losing someone close to you. At least, she'd experienced that in her dreams and not here in real life.

There wasn't anything Claire really felt she could say that would make anything any better, actually she knew that there wasn't. Instead she scooted closer to Dean, turning her body more toward him as she placed a hand on his thigh.

"I'm sorry." She offered finally, knowing that the words weren't nearly enough to express how terrible she actually felt for Dean. "How is he dying?" She asked, brows drawn low over her eyes. From every source that she'd ever read vampires were nearly impossible to kill, the idea that he was dying from something was strange to Claire to say the least.

Still there were things out there that Claire had no idea about. Talk about the T-Virus? Sure, she could do that until she was blue in the face, but anything else she was completely in the dark on.

~*~

"Werewolf bite."

Dean kept the answers short, to the point, avoiding trying to make anything sound sweet about the situation because there wasn't anything sweet involved in dying. That whole thing about 'Parting was such sweet sorrow.' made him want to raid the arsenal in the trunk of his Impala to go hunting for something he could sweetly depart from its unnatural existence which wasn't precisely feasible for him in Orange County.

At least, not at this point in time.

Things could always change where they were and Dean had never been more grateful for it.

"They're allergic to the venom. It's painful. Slow. There's only one cure and I sure as Hell can't get my hands on it or we wouldn't be having this conversation."

He wanted to smile at Claire. She was beautiful. Her hand was warm on his thigh. Dean knew he could forget his dreams, his friend's pained face, everything outside their apartment. Everything could fade away if Dean allowed himself to sink into Claire; her love and compassion would cover up all the ugliness in the world he couldn't ignore any other way. All it would come down to would be ignorance being bliss though and Dean knew too much to ever find that kind of bliss again.
"I'm sorry. I'm not good company tonight."

~*~

Claire's face scrunched up. That didn't sound good, and it did, in fact, sound painful. She had no idea how that would work, but in each world things were different. She took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly before she gave his thigh a squeeze. "It's okay. You're allowed not to be good company."

Losing people you cared about was hard. She'd not really experienced that outside of the dreams, but there were people in them that she'd grown to love, to care about and watching them die horrible deaths was...well it was a lot to take in.

She took a pull from her beer, and then sighed. "Maybe you can't get your hands on it, but maybe someone else from his world can? Well, if there's any of them here that is." She, again, didn't know Stefan's story or if there were people around from his dream world.

"If not, maybe things will actually right themselves. I haven't heard of anyone actually dying from their dreams, but…" she trailed off, and shook her head. She supposed that it was possible, but she hadn't heard of anyone as of yet dying from their dreams.

"Whatever does happen though, I'm here. I'll always be here." As long as Claire had breath in her lungs she'd be there, and she didn't think that she was going to die in her dreams any time soon either.

~*~

People didn't stick around for Dean Winchester. They actually tried to bail on him faster than he could meet new ones. It seemed as if he was learning new names in new places every time he turned around when his eyes were closed; Orange County was filled to the brim with people who evolved on the network, in the world around him, everywhere he looked until Dean couldn't get a handle on who was who anywhere.

He was a man wandering around lost.

Claire was an anchor for him. She tied him to one place, one point, one purpose; Dean hoped he wasn't turning into the albatross around her neck which would bring her only damnation.

It was easy to forget she didn't see him that way when she was sincere in her offer to be there.

Nothing else.

Claire wasn't promising any false hope or miracles or suggestion he find it in him to have faith.

She was offering to be with him regardless of what happened.

"Can I hold you? No funny business. I promise I'm not trying to get cute with you. I'm aware it'll make it hard for you to resist my natural physical perfection, but I'd really like to just sit here and hold you for a while if that's okay?"

Dean lifted his arm to make a space for Claire to lie against him if she would. He didn't reach for her or try to drag her, pull her, force her to comfort him. The train was coming for Stefan; Dean was only sitting beside the tracks watching it as it was about to collide with his friend. He couldn't look away. That was the magic of trainwrecks. Claire didn't have to stick around for the action though. She should have a choice.

He'd always give her a choice.

~*~

"No funny business eh?" Claire retorted with a smile, although she knew to take Dean seriously. He was a man that didn't mince words, however, she was simply trying to make him feel better. Try being the key word there.

Her features turned serious for a moment, and she scooted closer to him, fitting herself against his side. "You're right, it is hard to resist you, but I'm okay with just being held for a bit." She wrapped her arm around his waist, head now resting on his shoulder. There was never a time in her mind that Dean would have to ask her if she was okay with being held. Claire tried to make it clear to him that she loved him, and that she was perfectly fine with most things. Especially when it came to comfort. He didn't have to ask her permission, but she appreciated it all the same.

She let out a soft sigh, content with the silence that had fallen between them. Sometimes no words were needed, just understanding that another person would be there no matter what happened. Claire hadn't been lying when she said that either.

Claire didn't take things lightly, especially when it came to relationships, and she was in this for the long haul despite what Dean might think.

~*~

"None at all," Dean agreed as he sank into a comfortable position with Claire against him.

Claire felt warmer to him than usual which Dean attributed to comparing her to the coldness of a vampire's skin. Unfed vampire skin tended to be chilly though Dean wasn't about to explain how he knew that particular fact to Claire. There were parts of his life he chose to keep quiet about because they included secrets with shared ownership; secrets should only be revealed if all their owners were willing to share them.

A quiet night wasn't unwelcome or unwarranted as far as Dean was concerned so he didn't try to start up a conversation with Claire neither of them would be interested in. There were times when breathing together was enough. Life was a real blessing to people who fought for survival the way the pair of them did in their Dreams. Few people understood the warriors' way of life unless they were fighters themselves.

Some things couldn't be learned unless they were experienced first-hand.

"Do you think vampires have souls?"

He hadn't meant to say anything. Dean tightened his arm around Claire to try to still her in case she wanted to move. Her weight was welcome as it held him down in a way he needed, grounded him while he fought against the thoughts trying to make him float away on a cloud similar to one of those kids thought angels sat on in Heaven. Claire was as close to the definition of Heaven as anything or anyone had ever been in Dean's opinion.

~*~

Claire was quiet against Dean's side, just letting him be for the time being. Closing her eyes, she tried to send some of her calming energy toward him. She wasn't sure if it was working or not, but she was just trying to help.

His question caused her to open her eyes, and she was about to look up at him when she felt his arm tighten around her. Claire was fine with being his anchor, he needed one right now and she was more than happy to be the anchor that he needed right now.

His question, however, wasn't something that she had an answer to. Claire had very little knowledge about the supernatural world except what she'd heard from Dean and what she'd seen in the movies. If she went with common lore Claire would say no, but things could be different in Stefan's world. Claire knew that Dean was looking for a specific answer, and as much as she wanted to give him that answer she also wasn't one to sugar coat things either.

"Well," she started, lips turning down at the corners into a frown, "I'm honestly not sure if they do or not. I mean, I think we'd have to consider their worlds, and lore." It made sense to her at least. "I'd hope that he does, or that some do. I don't think many of them choose the life that they were given, and if they did choose it they might not have really thought things through. So it'd really be a shame if they didn't have one." Claire lifted a shoulder, her arm tightening around Dean's midsection.

~*~

Souls were something Dean knew too much about in the other world. All he knew in this world was guesswork. In the other world, vamps didn't get another chance. Their immortality was their second chance and no one got three chances.

Except him.

Or Sammy.

Winchesters seemed to get an unlimited number of chances. Dean had seen Hell so often he was sick of the place. Talking about going to Hell for him was the same as some rich SOB talking about going on a cruise to the Bahamas. Not that Dean would know anything about that---he hadn't ever had the pleasure of seeing the Bahamas and he had zero interest in going on a cruise.

Ever.

Hey, Dean had seen Titanic. No way was he getting on any ocean liners.

"I don't expect you to have the answers all the time. I do appreciate every time I need an answer? You give me one which feels as if it's exactly the one I need at that moment. Thank you. For that. For being you. Thank you."

Dean would have said 'I love you' except it was easier to let her feel it in the tight grip he had on her body. His arms around her said he'd never let her go. For Dean, that was as good as promising to love her forever or simply saying the words. Claire didn't need the words anyway. She knew what he meant with his body language. She knew him. She knew. Holding her as close as the pair of them could get to each other, Dean breathed in the scent of her and tried not to think of his best friend in the world dying somewhere alone in the night.