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Blair Waldorf (queen_bwaldorf) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-07-11 22:56:00

Who: Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass
What: A good night is ruined by dreams
When: Backdated: Mid June
Where: Hotel Room
Rating/Warnings: Family Friendly
Status: Complete

The previous night was one of the most amazing in Chuck’s life. Blair had finally given in and let him have her. And it was better than the dreams, better than any woman Chuck had ever been with honestly. And that was saying a lot. He even decided to stay with Blair until morning. Something Chuck never did. He wasn’t a fan of sleepovers, of attachments. But Blair was different. He didn’t want this to be some fling. He honestly wanted more with Blair.

Of course his night was ruined with dreams. First his father’s death. Then rejecting Blair at his funeral, after she proclaimed her love to him. Only to end up in her room crying? Chuck Bass didn’t cry. And certainly not over an asshole like Bart. He had been just as bad in the dreams as in real life. After the ridiculous crying incident Chuck had spent the night with Blair, without sleeping with her, and then left her before she woke up with a note telling her she deserved better. What the fuck was that about?

Chuck woke up from that mess of dreams with his head spinning and a scowl on his face. That was when he noticed that Blair was still next to him. The scowl disappeared. Not exactly replaced with a smile or even a smirk, but at least some of his anger had dissipated.

Blair had already dreamt about Bart’s death and the aftermath directly after and it had killed her to see Chuck react that way. It had killed her to be rejected after telling him that she loved him and it had killed her to see him crying on her bed, but the worst part had been waking up to find that note there, telling her that she deserved better and not to come looking for him. Blair had already decided that she was going to invite Chuck to the party before she’d dreamt about Bart’s death and afterwards she hadn’t been sure exactly how to still go about it, because Chuck would know that she was keeping something from him if he hadn’t already dreamt about it, which she hadn’t thought he had.

Eventually she had done what Blair did best and pretended that nothing was wrong and invited Chuck to the magazine’s party. The party was being held at a fancy hotel so she had decided to rent a room, because she had already made up her mind, before the dreams that that night would be the night for her and Chuck. She was not going to deny her feelings for Chuck any longer and hoped that she would be more than just another one night stand for him.

When Chuck woke, his movements caused Blair to stir as well. “Chuck?” Her eyes opened slowly and began to adjust to the moonlight that was streaming in through the window as she gazed up at him, not yet realizing that anything was wrong.

“Yeah?” Chuck replied still a bit annoyed by his dreams. “Were you expecting someone else?” he meant it as a joke but his tone was a bit harsher than he expected. The last thing he wanted was to let his dreams ruin the night he had with Blair. “Sorry,” he mumbled rubbing his face with his hands.

Blair could tell that something was wrong and her heart dropped when she realized what it might be. Could Chuck have dreamt about Bart’s death? It would figure that something good would happen for them only to have something like that happen. Blair sat up and was about to place her hand on Chuck’s shoulder when she heard what sounded like paper crumpling. Looking for between them, her heart sank even further when she saw the note lying there. The note that Chuck had left her the night they had spent together after Bart’s funeral.

Chuck heard the paper too and looked over to see what Blair had. His face paled. “What the hell?” he muttered clearly upset. He yanked the paper out of Blair’s hands studying it further. “How the hell did this get here?”

Well if Blair had been curious about whether or not Chuck had dreamt about Bart’s death, she had her confirmation. He wouldn’t have reacted to the note the way he had if he hadn’t already dreamt about writing it. No longer shocked at seeing the note, Blair placed her hand on Chuck’s shoulder, “It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just the dreams screwing with us.” The last thing she wanted was for the note to change or derail anything that they had worked towards in the waking world.

“No,” Chuck replied gruffly. In real life it had been a few years since his father’s death, but with having to relive it in the dreams it brought up all of Chuck’s old feelings. How whole life his father led him to believe he was never good enough. He was an idiot to think he would be good enough for Blair. His dreamself was right, she did deserve better. “It’s correct,” he said the hint of a frown on his face. “We aren’t meant for dating. I’m not meant for dating.” Blair deserved someone who could give her what she wanted. A real relationship. Chuck well, he’d just fuck it up somehow. Sleep with someone else probably.

Oh no, Blair was not letting Bart, of all people, ruin this. Reaching over, she took hold of Chuck’s chin, forcing him to look at her, “You are not doing this, Chuck. You are not letting this piece of paper dictate your life.” The fact that they had finally slept together was a big deal for Blair and she was sure that it was the same for Chuck. She just had to make him see that, “Chuck, if I didn’t think you were worth it, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

Chuck looked into those doe eyes of Blair’s for a moment. Maybe he could do this, maybe he could actually be happy with her. No, that wasn’t who he was. He was Chuck Bass, one of the biggest party boys of the Upper East Side. Sure he was becoming a well established businessman now, but that didn’t make him boyfriend material. He turned his head, jerking away from her touch.

“There is a reason this showed up now of all mornings Blair,” he spat. “We both know this won’t work. Hell even our dreamselves know it. We were just fooling ourselves.”

How could she make him see that this piece of paper meant nothing in this world? “I don’t know why this note showed up now, but it is just a piece of paper. It means absolutely nothing.” As if to demonstrate her point, Blair picked it up again and tore it in half, letting either piece fall onto the bed, “It’s something you wrote while grieving there. I has nothing to do with our situation here. We’re kids in that world, Chuck. We’re adults here. Adults who can make our own decisions that aren’t based on notes from dreams.” Her heart was beating rapidly and she wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, but she was afraid that Chuck would actually leave and she didn’t know what she’d do then. She had spent the last six months trying to deny that she had feelings for Chuck when she knew that she did and if he let this note come between them, she’d be devastated.

Chuck shook his head. Last night may have been one of the best nights of his life but that was all it would be. No matter how he felt about Blair this wasn’t him. It was only a matter of time before he strayed and hurt her. Better to do it now, just get it over with before she got too invested.

Chuck climbed out of the bed and began gathering up his clothes. “We may be kids but we are still us. I’m still Chuck Bass. I don’t do relationships and we both know you do. The dreams are just reminding us of that. We can never work.” They might not be the exact same people as in the dreams but they were close enough and Chuck was smart enough to see what the dreams were showing him.

“Chuck…” Blair could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she didn’t know what else to say. She knew that trying to convince Chuck of something once he’d made up his mind was extremely difficult and at the moment he was dealing with his grief from the dreams. If only she knew what happened after the dreams he’d woken up from tonight. Maybe then she’d be able to convince him that he wasn’t like the Chuck in their dreams. “I love you, Chuck.” It was all she could think to say at that moment; mostly because it was the truth and the only thing she was completely certain of.

Chuck began getting redressed when Blair spoke again. He froze, staring at her. His face softened for a brief moment. Then the dreams came back to him and he scowled. “Well that’s too bad,” he said echoing his dreamself. With that he turned, half dressed, and exited the hotel room.