Who: Natasha and Cosima What: A face-to-face meeting at The Agency When: Recently Where: The Agency Warnings: Pretty tame
To say that Cosima had mixed feelings about working at the Agency was a slight understatement. Sometimes she likened it to DYAD, probably unfairly, but secretive organization that seem to have power and influence across the board? That was a lot like DYAD. Just without the human experimentation aspect. Or genetic enhancement, depending on one’s viewpoint.
Though while most people may find it odd to have their boss be their significant other, Cosima didn’t. In fact, she relished being able to work alongside Jemma. Perhaps eventually they would butt heads, but for the most part they were on the same wavelength. Cosima was looking forward to all the projects she’d be able to work on with Jemma.
The lab was absolutely amazing, and she loved every inch of it. Much better than the one DYAD had provided her with, but she was probably biased in that respect. After all, she wasn’t a prisoner of the Agency nor was she tied to them by being the product of one of their experiments.
As far as she knew, anyway.
Cosima was busily going over some test results that she’d conducted. Lab coat on, dreadlocks pulled into a ponytail, she was leaning over the desk reading the results with intense concentration that she didn’t hear anyone come in.
Dating while on the job wasn’t always the best thing to do, but then Natasha had no room to talk considering her history of frequently dating co-workers, in all of her lives. So she couldn’t really judge, and she didn’t really worry too much about it.
She looked like she didn’t belong in a lab. Black leather, strange bracelets, red hair in waves. But she walked around like she knew her way around one, and her shoulders were that kind of tense that someone who wasn’t comfortable in a lab tended to have. At least those who’d been on the wrong side of an experiment.
“How are you settling in?” She leaned against the only harmless looking table in the lab. She knew a lot about Cosima. Some from talking to Jemma and others, some from the files she’d collected on damn near everyone.
To be fair, Cosima had been dating Jemma since before they’d actually become co-workers. And, well, she’d been dating Delphine in her dreams and they’d been some sort of co-workers. Delphine, however, had kept betraying her and going behind her back. Jemma, at least, wasn’t like that. Which she was very glad for. She trusted Jemma completely.
Hearing the voice, her head came up. She was a little startled, but she smiled as she pushed her glasses back up her nose a bit.
“Oh hey, I didn’t hear you come in. But I’m settling in, I think. This place is like completely amazing. Definitely beats the lab I had in my dreams.” Cosima said with a little chuckle. She at least had been a little familiar with this place due to Martha having helped give her medical treatments when she was sick. It was a better experience to be here on a work basis, and not a life-threatening one.
“I get that a lot,” Natasha drawled. She pushed off of the table with her hip, giving Cosima a playful smile. “Glad you like it. There’s a lot of dream cross-pollination around here and I like to think that makes it a little better. I’m pretty sure Jemma all but lives here.”
“Now that’s what makes it all the more interesting. The different dreams, that is. It makes me wonder what I can bring to the table aside from being an expert of human cloning.” She looked at Natasha a little hesitantly. “I mean, I assume you know I’m a clone?” Natasha was a little intimidating, and Cosima wasn’t certain how much she knew. But Cosima had spoken about being a clone on ValarNet where everyone could read it. “But yeah, Jemma does spend a lot of time here. Kind of why I set alarms on her phone to remind her to eat and such.” It was her way of looking out for her girlfriend when she wasn’t with her.
Natasha nodded her head. “I knew. It’s not something I’m unfamiliar with from my dreams. Clones, mutants, genetic modifications, super soldier. It’s easy to get blase about it.” Even in her secondary dreams (as she called them), Nat was starting to get blase about things. Like aliens.
“I’m glad you do, sometimes I think she’d starve herself if she got too distracted. But her hyper focus can be useful.”
“It is though I tend to sometimes forget I’m a clone. Probably because only one of my sisters is here, so it’s easy to just go with we’re twins separated at birth.” Which is what Cosima liked to say to people who saw both her and Sarah but weren’t privy to the whole dream thing. And there wasn’t the whole element of DYAD being here. She felt more human here and less like she was someone else’s experiment.
“It’s definitely useful to have that kind of focus. I get the exact same way myself. But even with that, we’re still human and need to actually eat and occasionally sleep.”
“I’ve noticed that family tends to remain related somehow. Mothers and sons turning into cousins. Other families remaining intact entirely.” Cosima and her clone were very likely separated at birth, and the dreams may have made them more closely related than prior. “My original employers in my dreams would have loved to find a way to ensure I didn’t have to eat or sleep.” They’d just had to settle for a slew of other enhancements.
“Really? That’s actually incredibly fascinating.” Cosima made a mental note of that for that little side project she and Jemma may at some point pursue about the dreams. Though at hearing Natasha say that, Cosima gave her a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, some people can just be so shitty and cruel and not give a damn about a person’s autonomy of themselves. The organization that created me and my sisters would no doubt love to do that sort of thing. Shit, they probably could move towards that. I mean they already do genetic enhancements and shit like that. By which I mean a guy actually grew a tail once. Bionic eyes. Then, obviously, me and my sisters and brothers. Though the Castor clones are still kind of a mystery given they were taken over by the military.”
“All for the motherland,” Natasha replied, playing up her native accent to an almost hilarious level. She typically kept it completely hidden. But sometimes she liked to play around with it. “There’s a lot that people do in the name of good intentions. I’ve seen so much hell come from it. I’ve seen that too. Bionics, tails. If someone thinks they can do it, they will. Whether or not they should, and whether or not the people involved want it.”
“Oh wow, you’re Russian? I wouldn’t have guessed.” Not that Cosima could have known that. But that was that. “Tell me about it. But that is what science is. Someone asks a question or poses a theory, and then they have to test it to see whether it’s viable or not. And more often than not when it works people get carried away playing god. Human experimentation is a scary topic. Especially considering my creators put a patent into my very DNA, as the same with my sisters. Neolution is a very scary fringe science that I wish was more science fiction than reality. Not to mention being in the line of biology that I am in, self-directed human evolution is not something that should be played around with.”
Cosima wasn’t really realizing that she was babbling, but she could talk about this for days on end without tiring of it. It was probably a good thing Jemma wasn’t right here at the moment, otherwise there’d be a lot of science babble happening that would possibly leave Natasha in the dust.
“I trained away the accent.” Natasha winked. “Playing god though, give a man an ounce of power and that’s the first thing he’d do. The hubris, especially among those who you’d think would know better, never ceases to amaze me. I’ve been on the receiving end of some of that. And I’m friends with a clone or two.” She could keep up with one of them. Mostly. Both of them though and Natasha doubted she’d be able to keep up with half the conversation.
“Good job on that. It’s not an easy thing to do sometimes.” Cosima was a blatant west coast girl. She had the accent that pinned her to being from San Francisco, as if her hipster style of clothing under the lab coat, the nose piercing, dreadlocks and tattoo on each forearm (neither of which were precisely visible currently) didn’t already say that. “I like to believe in the good in people unless they prove otherwise to me. But there’s definitely something to the saying that power corrupts and money corrupts. Someone with money and power can put it to dangerous use. It’s kind of human nature in a way, you could say, that we get power and we let it go to our heads sometimes if we aren’t careful.” Like Delphine’s power trip when she’d taken over after Leekie’s departure from DYAD.
Natasha could probably identify what part of San Francisco that Cosima was from based on the combination of her outfit and accent. If she didn’t already know. It was probably a little creepy how full her dossiers were. If someone was deemed a potential asset or a potential threat Natasha wanted to know about them. Everything about them.
“There’s always a balance between too much oversight and too little oversight, too.” The irony was lost on her, at least for the time being.
Cosima was from Berkeley. She’d even gone to the University of California - Berkeley before transferring to the University of Minnesota. A drastic change in place and climate, but Cosima had been drawn there by the science program’s reputation. And Minneapolis was actually a really nice city, it had been hard to leave and come here, even if she was happy to be back in California.
Other tidbits about her were that Cosima smoked pot occasionally, preferred red wine and her favorite movie was Jurassic Park.
“And finding that balance is no easy thing. It takes a certain type of person to find that balance and not destabilize things.”
“Unluckily for us,” Natasha said. “That type of person rarely wants that power to begin with.” The number of people she’d trust with it could be counted on one hand and even then she’d want there to be contingencies. Natasha knew she shouldn’t have that power, herself.
“Sadly that’s how it goes. Which is why we need to check those who have the power whenever possible to avoid catastrophes.” It was a highly optimistic ideal, but Cosima was optimistic. She saw the best in people, even when she shouldn’t. Cosima was entirely too trusting. She was the type who could always find a reason to smile regardless of what she herself was feeling. She’d wear a smile to try and bring a little light to others around her no matter what.
“Checks and balances. Great on paper, doesn’t always work out in reality. But we should keep trying.” It was why she’d supported Tony during that whole registration debacle. Checks and balances. Even if she’d disagreed with approaching the x-men about it. That was just… a stupid idea.
“That’s the pitfall, really. It doesn’t always work out for various reasons. But there are at least people who keep trying regardless of anything.” That was what kept the hope going, really. “So now that I’m actually working here, am I allowed to ask what you do for the Agency or is that like way over my clearance level?” Cosima asked with a slightly crooked grin that was her trademark.
“Human resources,” Natasha said, her lips twisting into a devious smile. “Though I also dabble in information. The collection of.”
“So mysterious,” she said teasingly. “But information is definitely valuable. Remind me not to get on your bad side.” Cosima had a feeling Natasha was the kind of person who made a very very good ally and a very very bad enemy.
“I think one of the things that would is the same thing that would get me on your bad side.” Natasha was a little protective of Jemma. She couldn’t really explain why. It wasn’t like Jemma was her type, or anything. But she was her responsibility, and she was a fantastic asset.
“Then it’s a good thing I have no intention of hurting Jemma.” Because that was the obvious common thread between them. Hurting Sarah or Felix would also earn someone a place on Cosima’s bad side, but Jemma was the link between them. “She’s wonderful, and sometimes I think she forgets that. Her dreams aren’t kind to her, and I will be there for her.”
“No, they’re not. I share some of the ones she has. Not her specific events, but it’s the same world.” She still didn’t know how she felt about SHIELD actually coming back. She’d given so much of herself to that organization. She’d thought she’d been doing the right thing. But she hadn’t. And then there were the Avengers. Sokovia. What was right and what was wrong? The Natasha that dreamed of more fantastic world had some advice, but she couldn’t very well tell her other self what to do.
“That’s good, then you at least have that familiarity of her dream world. Sometimes it’s easier when you have others who dream of the same world.” Cosima knew it was easier for her that Sarah and Felix were here and dreamt. Though that didn’t mean it made it easier for her to talk about some things, but she knew they would understand. And sometimes it was nice to have someone completely removed from the dreams to talk to about them. Someone who wasn’t involved in her dream crap. She wondered if Jemma felt similarly about her.
“I think a good mixture is best. People who understand as only they could, but also people who aren’t mired in the mess so that they can help you keep perspective.” She was unknowingly echoing Cosima’s thoughts.
“Are you psychic? Because that’s totally what I was thinking. It’s always nice to have another perspective on things, someone to pull you out of your own head if you get too caught up in shit.” Cosima well knew it was all too easy to get lost within the shit that was her dream world. There was so much intrigue, enemies in every corner, and one never knew who to actually trust outside of their small group.
Thoughts of Shay suddenly sprung up in her mind. Cosima wished her dream self had trusted her more and not listened to Delphine the way she had. But at the same time, it was probably for the best. Shay didn’t deserve to get involved in the shitstorm that was Cosima’s life. The look on her face had changed, mirroring the thoughts in her head. Cosima was barely able to conceal her emotions. Her heart was on her sleeve, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.
“I’m not the psychic one around this county.” That would be Jean, and Natasha was practicing ways to keep her thoughts obscured around telepaths. It was part of her dream training, at any rate. Telepaths tended to be a scary thought. Someone who could get into your brain. The Red Room would have loved one. “Are you all right?”
“Huh? Oh! Yeah, sorry. I was just reminded of someone in my dreams for a moment.” Cosima gave a crooked smile to Natasha. “One of those moments of wanting to smack my dream self because she fucked up something that was good for her. Yet also understanding because no one should be part of the crazy that is my dream self’s life when they don’t already know what’s happening.”
Natasha got that. Suddenly being reminded of someone. Thinking about people that weren’t around and maybe didn’t exist. Or thinking of people who did exist but weren’t...it wasn’t the same. Nothing was the same and she hated it.
“They don’t deserve to be dragged in.”
“No, they don’t. It’s crazy enough, and sometimes it’s better if they don’t get too close. Besides, in my dreams you never know who you can trust and who you can’t. So there’s always some element of paranoia with meeting new people and getting close to them.” Cosima shrugged a bit. “At least there’s less of the paranoia here, though I try to be careful about who knows I’m a clone. Like I don’t want Ward finding out just in case he goes off the deep end here.” It was one less thing that he could potentially use to hurt Jemma with if he did go off the deep end.
Fortunately, Natasha tended to heavily research people before getting to know them. She was that paranoid- it would be too easy for someone to come in and try to use her. She nodded. “I’ve got my eye on Ward. We’re all a little different from who we dream about, but there’s always that risk.”
And personally, she didn’t like Ward, but she tended to have a burning hatred of Hydra. Natasha still had...issues...where all that was concerned.
“That’s why I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt, the whole being a little different from our dream selves. I’ve talked to him and been in the same room as him, but I just can’t put aside the things I know he’s done to Jemma and her friends in the dreams.” Cosima didn’t hate many people, and it tended to take a lot for her to actually hate someone, but she definitely hated dream!Ward for what he’d done to Jemma. But the fact she’d tried to set that aside and be able to talk to him in this world was saying a lot about her character.
But the fact she’d even been in the same room as him was so that she could keep Jemma from trying to kill him.
“I worry he might be a danger here.” Natasha thought of herself. How similar she’d been to her dreamself and how often the real world and dream world had seemed to step by step. Just in a less fantastical way in the former. “But I have contingencies.”
Contingencies. It sounded like she planned to murder him. It was entirely possible she would.
“Good, yes. Contingencies are definitely good.” Cosima wouldn’t ask what those were, she didn’t really need to. Nor did she actually want to know. The less she knew, the better. Besides, she was certain she’d need to make some contingencies with Sarah, Felix and Jemma if someone like Rachel Duncan or Aldous Leekie showed up in Orange County. And she’d definitely need some in the event Delphine showed up, but she was less worried about that and more worried about actual DYAD people showing up.
Natasha smiled, and as though she hadn’t just been talking about potential murder, asked casually, “Want to get lunch? There’s this great little Thai place a block down on the corner.”
“Is it lunch already?” Cosima asked, suddenly shocked by the time. She glanced at her watch, which was hidden amongst several bracelets, but then she looked back at Natasha with a smile. “I’d love to. It’s been a while since I’ve had Thai.”