Username: 
Password:    
Remember Me

Search by :  Username E-mail Region Interest AOL IM ICQ Number Yahoo! ID MSN Username Jabber

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (chakram) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-04-24 17:08:00

What was that for
Who: Xena and Callisto
When: Morning of the 22nd
Where: Xena's condo
what: body swap!
Status: complete


The previous night was still a little blurry. Xena’s mouth was cottony from too much to drink and as she pushed herself up she tried to remember the night before. …. Like why was she in Callisto’s bed? That was a concern. That was a really big concern. Sleeping with Callisto probably wasn’t the best idea but if it happened she’d rather be sober for it. Callisto wasn’t Gabrielle but she’d probably be a hellion in the sack.

Her dreams started to come to her as she kicked the sheets off.

“Oh no.”

She rushed out of the room and into the mirror, and Callisto was staring back at her, wild blonde hair and loose tank top. “Oh fuck me.”

Blurry was an accurate sentiment. Callisto was slow to wake up, and she didn’t actually want to wake up. Though eventually, she cracked an eye open. It was open briefly and closed, then it snapped back open and her head snapped up.

“What the fuck??” She questioned. Why was she in Xena’s room? Having been asleep on her stomach, Callisto pushed herself up to her knees and looked around. Xena wasn’t here. Oh shit. Had they slept together and she didn’t remember and Xena had run off? Though the memory of the dream she’d had came back to her and she shook her head to clear it. “Wait…”

She got out of bed and went into the bathroom. And Xena was staring back at her. Ice blue eyes and dark hair. “Shit. XENA!!” Callisto turned and headed out of the bedroom to see if Xena was still here.

Xena came out of the other bathroom, wide-eyed. “Shit!” So it wasn’t just her! Of course it wasn’t just her. “Tell me we’re still dreaming?”

It would be okay if she was still dreaming. She liked her body just the way it was.

“Jesus christ,” Callisto said, seeing her own body walking around without her. She walked up to Xena, reached out and pinched her. Because that’s what people did to test whether they were still dreaming right? And it was so weird to her to be taller than Xena.

“Ow!” Xena thwapped Callisto’s hand. Complete with thwapping sound effect. “What was that for?” She pinched Callisto back, for revenge. “How do you like it, huh?” Pinch. Pinch. Pinch.

She folded her arms. Or Callisto’s arms. Or whatever. “I just dreamed I got stuck in your body.”

“Ow!” Callisto echoed as Xena pinched her back. “Hey, I was just doing what you’re supposed to do to test whether or not you’re dreaming!” She defended herself.

“Huh. I just had that same dream. And now we woke up like that.” At least this time Callisto didn’t really have the ulterior motive that her dream self had. Not to mention here she wasn’t a ghost or whatever. She hadn’t died here.

“You’re supposed to pinch yourself,” Xena pointed out, then grimaced because technically, Callisto had. “This is a mess.” She put her hands on her hips and started to pace. “No offense but I like my body the way it was.”

Callisto actually burst out into laughter at the pinch yourself comment. Because she sort of had. “Hey, it’s not like I had control over what body I woke up in here. If I did, I’d still be in mine.” Considering she wasn’t dead the way that she was in the dreams, she had no need to steal Xena’s body.

“”Waking up in your bed had me questioning last night.” Hearing Callisto’s laugh on her voice was almost grating. It was tempered by the knowledge they weren’t their dream personas. Mostly. “It’s just like you to haunt me while dead.” She rubbed her temple, then got a good look at herself through another’s eyes.

And now Callisto was a bit nervous, but trying to hide it. Was it good questioning? No, who was she kidding? Of course Xena was relieved that they hadn’t slept together. “Yeah, well, kind of like a cockroach in that way.” She said with a shrug, clearly avoiding the first thing Xena had said. She wasn’t going to touch that.

“Just hate doing anything not sober,” Xena muttered. She slipped past Callisto and back into Callisto’s room to raid the closet and find anything that she felt comfortable wearing. And hoping nothing like their armor showed up. “No offense, but in the dreams I think squashing you would make Xena very happy.”

She caught the mutter, but still didn’t respond to it. Callisto was better off just ignoring it. She didn’t want to set herself up for needless pain when she well knew things would never go anywhere. She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. And, well, she did actually have her armor and her sword. She’d just shoved them under the bed. “Yeah well, Callisto wants you to squash her. She wants oblivion.” And clearly the only way to get that was to continually antagonize Xena until one, or both, of them were dead for good.

There was probably truth to that. Xena was slowing realizing how much Gabrielle meant to her, and how large a hole there was in her life without her. But she also felt like Callisto could have and should have been a friend and a protege. A real one. And she didn’t want to lose that either.

In her dreams, Xena didn’t think Callisto deserved that peace. But awake, she felt a little differently. “Yeah…”

Callisto had already accepted that love wasn’t something for her. So she was fine with never having that. Or at least that’s what she continually told herself. Xena was the only person who ever put up with her, and she didn’t think anyone else on the planet ever would. So she just wouldn’t put her crazy onto anyone else.

She didn’t deserve that peace in the dreams, but if she didn’t get oblivion, then she would just keep antagonizing Xena. And that wasn’t much of an existence either. Especially considering she was dead.

“So, what are we going to do about this current problem?” Because obviously everyone in their gang would be mistaking her for Xena, and if Xena in Callisto’s body started giving orders, people would get suspicious.

The frustrating thing is that it meant death wasn’t… the end. Which could be comforting, if one didn’t want to die. Xena lowered her eyes, frowning as she thought it over. “You’re going to have to pretend to be me until this is sorted out.”

Death not being the end kind of frustrated and unnerved Callisto. But she wasn’t going to focus on that right now. Right now, there were other, more pressing problems to address. “Hopefully this won’t last long because I don’t know how long I can pretend to be you.” Just because she knew Xena well, knew her mannerisms and how she addressed everyone in the gang didn’t mean she could sustain such a guise for extended periods of time. Especially when she was losing her own sanity.

“I think we can fake it long enough. Any big decisions can wait long enough for me to tell you what to say.” Xena rubbed her chin. They could fool most of the people here. Ares, probably not, but he was still in Colorado. That at least was a small favor. “But we’re gonna have to lay low as much as possible.”

“I don’t really have any plans to start anything attention-grabbing right now.” Which was more due to the fact that she didn’t know Xena’s strengths and weaknesses from this angle. Plus if ‘Xena’ was seen as flying off the handle at the smallest thing, there would be questions. Callisto doing that, in her own body, would be par for the course. But Xena? Not so much.

Xena was trying to think of alternates. They could stage an accident, lay ‘Xena’ up in the ‘hospital’. Not everyone would take orders from Callisto though, and there was a chance that could spiral out of control and end up with a little civil war within the gang. “Well. That’ll do.”

While Callisto enjoyed chaos, she wasn’t wanting any of it to happen within the gang and certainly not because something seemed to have happened to Xena. Nope. Callisto was at least still smarter than that. “I suppose we should be glad that we don’t have any pressing social engagements? At least I don’t, I don’t know if you do.” She meant hook ups mostly. Callisto felt she could pose as Xena if needed for anything business related, so long as Xena gave her the run-down of what to say beforehand. But if Xena was planning any hook ups with people, Callisto was going to have no part of that.

“Don’t have anything planned,” Xena replied. Oh, there were a couple of people she could hook up with and honestly she really did have that itch but she hadn’t gotten around to making any calls. She smirked, a very Xena expression on a decidedly Not-Xena face. “Definitely no social engagements. You’re saved, Callisto.”

“Good, I’d hate to cancel because of the flu or something,” she responded with a bit of a smirk on her own face. Because of course Callisto would not go through with any such arrangement no matter what. Aside from the fact she wasn’t even in her own body, she didn’t do random hook ups.

That was yet another big difference between them. Xena liked the hook ups, yet she also had problems with getting attached to some of those. “Flu is better than anything else,” Xena pointed out. Callisto could easily ruin her social life.

Callisto laughed again. “I can’t very well give you the reputation for going around breaking bones just because someone tried to get you in bed. That’s my reputation.” They both had different approaches to sex, though Callisto’s approach was more due to her sexuality than anything else. Though her dream self was asexual and now she was wondering if that was carrying over to this life or not.

“I don’t mind the bone breaking rep,” Xena assured her. Even if she’d never been able to quite understand Callisto’s lack of a sex drive she’d always respected it. There was enough variety in the world to make life interesting.

While there was a bit of a lack of a sex drive, Callisto did have one. It was just aimed at one specific dark-haired and blue eyed woman. She did her best to keep that particular thing well hidden. “Glad someone doesn’t mind it,” she responded with a somewhat lopsided smile.