Agent Washington (completelysane) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-04-23 11:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, agent carolina, agent washington |
Who: Wash and Carolina
What: Wash meets Carolina to get an explanation about a certain file, and her answer is not what he is expecting
When: 4/16/16; Noon
Where: Local Mall Food Court
Rating/Warning Low; some language probably.
Status: Complete!
It was high noon on a Saturday and the mall food court was packed. Hundreds of shoppers and snarky teens milled about looking for a seat while their counterparts stood in line at one of the multiple fast food counters. Innocent people laughing, yawning, eating. It was just a regular day in Orange County. As far as they knew, the woman with red hair sitting alone with her back to the wall was just another shopper, just like them.
At her small table on the far side of the court, Carolina nursed a cup of coffee from a paper cup. She had not planned to arrive early, but another dream had woken her up before dawn and she really did not feel like trying to sleep again, just in case this dream also decided to get stuck on repeat. Would she still get them after she left? Probably not. Medical care in the twenty-sixth was probably far better than she gave it credit for. York would probably be fine. Probably. There were way too many probably’s nowadays.
She took another sip of cold coffee and scanned the crowd. There was a battered messenger bag in the seat beside her, but she was not worried about anyone trying to take her things. In fact, she was hoping for the opposite. That had been the point of blackmailing Wash to come meet her in the first place. That and to fulfill a promise he had made to a woman back in Spokane. Maybe he’d let her take a picture or two so that she could show their father. That is, if Wash decided to speak to her after this.
Wash had arrived early as well, before the lunch rush. He had technically come alone. Peeta and Caroline would arrive on their own and take their positions in one of the nearby stores. He’d chosen the mall because it was public and busy. He had no idea what it was Carolina was up to and the thought of her having a secret file on him as well as boxes taken from his mother’s house in Spokane was still unnerving. Did he still think she was stalking him? Not really, but he still didn’t trust her, especially after she had shot Stefan Salvatore. It hadn’t been a fatal shot, just a shot to the knee. A defensive injury. If Carolina had wanted Stefan dead the man would have been dead. Or, well...to be more accurate considering Stefan was a vampire, Carolina would have made a deadly move. Having Peeta and Caroline somewhere to watch his back had turned out to be a good idea after all.
While in hiding Wash had done a lot of thinking. He still wasn’t entirely convinced that Carolina didn’t want something from him, although he realized now that if she wanted him dead she’d had plenty of chances to kill him. He still felt responsible for everything that had happened to the squad, still was convinced that if he had just moved when Carolina had ordered them, the others would still be alive…
He had taken a position just inside a little hallway that lead from the food court to the restrooms. He couldn’t see Peeta and Caroline from his vantage, but that was good. That meant Carolina wouldn’t be able to see them either. He watched as Carolina arrived and chose a table off to the side. He scanned the surrounding area. She had chosen a place near the wall, but there was still plenty of escape routes and the table itself was still out in the open enough for anyone to see the pair talking, should his initial fears turn out to be true. His Dreams made him more and more paranoid every day.
Right at noon, Wash emerged from his vantage point and approached, confident that wherever she was Caroline would be listening. To anyone else watching he was just another mall visitor here to meet someone. He was dressed casually, a pair of jeans, a t-shirt under a plaid overshirt and his faithful combat boots. The over shirt would have concealed his sidearm holstered at his side, but he was sure to let Carolina see that he was, in fact, armed.
He sat across from her at the little table, steel grey eyes raise to meet hers. “I’m here,” he said.
Carolina had spotted him shortly after he had emerged from the hallway. She had made a point not to check out the location beforehand, but it seems Wash had other ideas. Good. He’s cautious. Cautiousness will keep him alive. She had met two of his friends, and while Stefan was almost painfully too bold, he also seemed like he could take a beating. If he had taken a bullet just to find out why she had been stalking him, he was capable of doing the same in other situations.
Her favorite overshirt had gone toward Stefan’s leg as a tourniquet, so today she had chosen a simple button up, t-shirt, and cargo pants. None of which had a weapon. Carolina could not say the same for her table companion. After so many years in the service, she would have to be blind to not see the pistol at Wash’s waistline. She arched an eyebrow in mild surprise. Really? She was not sure whether to be flattered that he thought enough of her to think that he might need to be armed, or to cuff him upside the head for bringing a pistol into a crowded mall. Later.
“I’m going to reach into my bag and pull out the files.” Carolina’s green eyes met grey for a moment to let him know she was taking him seriously before she reached over to open the messenger bag. Did he want revenge for Stefan? She would. Might as well be cautious herself. She placed five thick files on the table between them. “Your files are the three on top. Mine are the two beneath them. I looked at yours, so it’s only fair that you get to look at mine. If you want.”
“Now, I’m going to give you the keys to my car.” She reached slowly into her pocket, keeping one hand on the table where Wash could see. Carolina pulled out her keys and tossed them on top of the files. “Your boxes are in the back. None of the comics are harmed.” Although she had read one or two of them over the last week. Some of them were pretty good.
She had given everything over. She had done what she had promised she would do. Carolina hesitated for the first time. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-” She looked away before turning back to look him in the eyes, her jaw set stubbornly. “I didn’t tell you because I knew how it would look.”
“It looks like you’re stalking me,” Wash frowned at her. He didn’t look at the file. He had no interest in seeing inside and for the moment he didn’t care about the boxes in her car, either. She had said she was going to explain herself and goddammit Wash wanted an explanation. “Why do you have this?” He demanded, tapping the top of the file brusquely. “Why were you at my mother’s house in Washington?” He especially didn’t like that. He hadn’t spoken with his mother since he’d joined the marines. She had made it clear to him when he left that he wasn’t welcome back and she had certainly not made any effort to reach out to him while he was in the service. Yet no matter how neglectful Nora Barrow had been to her son, he was still somewhat protective of her. She was his mother.
“What do you want from me?” He asked. He kept his voice low so not to draw any unwanted attention from neighbors at nearby tables. He hoped Caroline would still be able to hear. “Is it payback for what happened to Andersmith? To York, North and the others? For letting Tex win? If that’s the case then why didn’t you kill me when you had the chance?”
“Are you still on that? This has nothing to do with our squad.” Carolina wanted to pinch the bridge of her nose. She had not realized that this ordeal would set back everything they had gone over last week. “If I blamed you for what happened, I’d have punched your lights out that first night at the bar.” The former CO was not exactly known for subtlety when it came to making her feelings known when she disliked somebody.
“Listen up. What happened to you and to Andersmith was my fault. No one else’s. Definitely not yours. Or Tex’s, as much as I want it to be. North and York… Well, they made their own choices. And believe me if I ever see Tex again I have five fingers with her name on them.” She growled, her hands already clenching into fists. That bitch had better have done her best to save York before they went MIA, just like she had done in Carolina’s dream.
Carolina took a deep breath and unclenched her fists. She had not led with the explanation because she was still hesitating. “I never lied to you, Gunney. Not about them. But they aren’t the reason I’m in Orange County.” Her hand reached into her overshirt and pulled out a faded folded piece of paper and an envelope marked “CONFIDENTIAL”. She turned the documents over in her hands, considering. The beginning. Everything started that morning when her father had given her a cup of coffee and the shock of a lifetime.
“When I was placed on forced leave, I returned to Texas and ended up living with my father again. It took a while, but one day he told me that there had been a woman he had… well, that he’d had a fling with, back after my mom died. He gave me an old birth certificate, a name, and an address, and they led me to Spokane, where I met your mother. She said she hadn’t heard from you, but that she had received papers from the Naval Hospital in Oceanside. She’s the one who gave me those boxes to give to you, if I ever found you.”
“I would have stayed longer, but,” She cleared her throat, looking a bit embarrassed for the first time. “I might have also punched your step-father while taking the boxes. Sorry.” She was not really sorry, but she was also sure she had a restraining order sitting in her apartment that suggested she should be. “After that, I figured I might as well try to find you instead.
“So I came down to California to look for you, but you weren’t in Oceanside and the V.A. hadn’t heard from you in months. I got a temporary place and started looking for the next lead. I was visiting a recruitment office in Seal Beach when one of the recruiters suggested I try a couple bars that were frequented by fellow soldiers, or former soldiers as the case might be.” Carolina had tried to go back to the office to find the man, but he had vanished. Like he had never been there in the first place.
“It had been a long day and I decided to try one of the bars before heading back. That’s when I found you.” Carolina slid the envelope and the faded birth certificate across the table. “I stole one of your beer bottles that night because I wanted to be sure. I thought you’d noticed, but the next day you’d said you had no memory of what happened.”
Carolina’s hands returned to her coffee cup as if it were a lifesaver and she was in the middle of a vast ocean. “You’re right. It wasn’t coincidence that brought me to Orange County. I came looking for my half-brother.” Green eyes were dead serious as they studied Wash’s reaction to the narrative. “I came looking for you.”
“Me?!” Wash stared at her. The icy tone of his voice was gone. In its place was a pit of a pitch upwards indicating his surprise. Nope, hadn’t seen that one coming. Out of all the possible reasons for Carolina to be there, looking for her half-brother had not even registered on the list, much less that that certain half brother was him.
He stared at her a moment before looking down at the two documents she’d slid across the table towards him. He recognized the birth certificate. He’d needed a certified copy of it to join the marines and his mother had long ago lost his. The loss of the document had been no issue for her and she seemed more annoyed at being asked then concerned that the document was missing. She made no effort to help him get a copy either. In fact it had been the mother of his friend Celia who had helped Wash get the certified copy he’d needed. Wash had no idea how Celia’s mother had gotten the copy and she had never told him. She had simply given him a kind but cryptic smile and told him he had to join the marines now. Later Celia told him that her mother had wanted Wash out of his abusive home as much as he did.
He had looked it over once, confirmed that it was a certified copy and that his name and date of birth were correct. He hadn’t spent any time confirming the names of his parents - a father he’d never met and knew nothing about and a mother who only gave a damn about him when it suited her. He had handed it over to the recruiting officer and that was that.
He looked at it now, examined it. It was an old copy and looked as though it had been folded several times. It was faded, but Wash could make out just enough to confirm that it was actually his. His mother’s name, Nora Barrow, was still clearly legible along with the name of his father: Leonard Church.
Leonard Fucking Church
All the air in Wash’s lungs left in a whoosh. He sat back heavily in his chair and just stared at the birth certificate. How...how was this possible?! It couldn’t be possible! Leonard Church…the goddamn Director? His father?
Wash’s mind was racing a mile a minute. His eyes darted over to the envelope marked confidential. He had a feeling what was inside. He picked up the envelope and cautiously opened it. He was right, a DNA test confirming what was on the birth certificate.
His mind raced around faster than he could keep up. Epsilon was whispering a little louder than usual, drowning out the dull roar of the food court around him. Wash rubbed the back of his neck, pressing his hand over the data port and stared at the DNA test in his hands for a solid minute before looking up again at Carolina. “Why...why didn’t you tell me?”
Carolina let Wash absorb the information, passing the coffee cup from one hand to the other. She was not nervous, exactly. More like anxious. She had not reacted to the news all that well when her father had told her, and she did not have any memories of the Director torturing her until she literally broke into fragments.
“I wanted to, but I just couldn’t find the right time.” Carolina stopped passing the cup and opened her hands. “It’s not like I could just go up to you that first night in the bar and say ‘Hey, Gunney! I know I was deployed before you woke up and haven’t seen you for two years, but I kind of need a cheek swab because I think you’re my brother!” She would have punched herself out if he had not.
“And then after you told me what happened, about the dreams, about the Director...and I guess I kept hoping you wouldn’t find out that you were related to the man who did all of those things to you.” Carolina swallowed. She had given him the files and explained why she had been stalking him in the first place. Her job was done. It was time to give him the choice she had never gotten.
“I won’t blame you if you don’t want to have anything to do with him, or with me.” Carolina sat back in her chair. “He can be just as cruel as the Director, and you were terrified of me knowing where you lived when you thought I was out to get revenge. Plus, I shot your friend.” She would not blame Wash if he wanted revenge. She would even let him take it, so long as he did not go overboard. “So, if you want me to leave, to let you forget what happened and that I ever found you, I will.”
Revenge. His Dream Self was out for revenge. He’d gotten revenge on South for shooting him in the back and now he was out for revenge on the Project and The Director for what he had done to not only him, but to everyone else. His friends. His family. It really wasn’t too much of a wonder for Wash to have jumped to the conclusion that Carolina had wanted revenge on him here in Orange County given what was going on in Wash’s Dreams. He still occasionally found it difficult to separate the two worlds. He’d also been projecting a bit. Perhaps he had wanted Carolina to kill him. No. There had been no ‘perhaps’ about it. He directly linked his discharge to what had happened to Andersmith, York, North, Connie and the others. Wash wanted someone to blame him as much as he blamed himself. But it hadn’t been fair of him to pin the responsibility of retribution on Carolina. And in his wild panic and guilt he’d dragged Salvatore, Gale, Peeta and Caroline into this fiasco.
Wash felt like the world’s biggest jackass.
You dumb motherfucker.
Without a word, Wash put the DNA results back in the envelope and placed them on top of the birth certificate. His heart was racing just as fast as his mind was. Epsilon’s whispering was distracting and he wanted a drink just to get the damn ghost to shut the fuck up for a minute.
He kept his eyes on the documents on the table. “Don’t go,” he said quietly. He looked up towards her, his commanding officer. His sister. “This is a lot for me to process, but do you really think I want you to go just because you happen to be related to him? That’s stupid. You haven’t done anything to me. I wish you had told me sooner, but now that you have, I don’t want you to go.”
“You went into hiding, Wash.” Carolina pointed out. “Because of me. Not the Director. Not my- our father. Me. Hell, you even brought a weapon to the fucking food court because you were worried about what I might do to you. Do you honestly want me to stay after all of that?” What kind of sister terrifies her own brother? She had not even known she had a brother for very long and she was already finding ways to fail at being a sister.
She shook her head. Wash was right. It was a lot to process. It had taken her a long time to get used to the idea. Maybe she should give him more time to think about it. “Look, why don’t you take some time to think it over, then make your decision.”
Wash’s hand tightened on the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I dropped off like that,” he said. “I…” he trailed. He couldn’t tell her what he’d actually wanted deep down. “I screwed up. I don’t want you to go. I want to figure this out and I want you here to figure it out with me. I understand if you feel like you have to go, and after what you’ve been through since you got here, I can’t blame you, but Carolina, I just got you back. Don’t go.” Don’t leave me again.
“You didn’t screw up. We both did.” Carolina looked warily at the hand on Wash’s neck. Was this really alright? She hated that she was related to the person that had caused him so much pain, both in the dreams and in the real world, but it was not something she could avoid. And, she supposed, neither could Wash. Not anymore. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Especially about the files. And... I didn’t mean to say you’d have to go through this alone. Because you’re not, you know.” She had met some of the friends he had made in this crazy place, and she had no doubt that the others would be just as loyal. Wash was just that kind of guy.
Much as he had done with her a week earlier, she reached out to place her hand on his. She wished she were a hugging person. They both needed one almost as much as they needed a drink. “If you don’t want me to go, then I’ll stay. I’ll stay even if you end up cursing me to hell and back. So you’d better not regret this, Wash, or I’ll make damn sure you live a long damn life anyway so that you can keep regretting it.”
Carolina had not allowed herself to hope for one decision or another, but her shoulders had relaxed and breathing seemed to get easier now that Wash was sure he wanted her to stay. She hated the idea of leaving him anywhere that she could not watch his six. Even if it was just from afar. There were a lot of wrongs she needed to make right, and she had a little brother to worry about now. God, that feels weird. “And thanks. For giving me a second chance.”
Wash had some pretty fantastic people in his corner. Stefan had been willing to take a bullet for him! That was not something Wash was going to forget. Nor was he going to forget Peeta letting him show up at his place trashed out of his mind and ranting like a lunatic. Caroline was somewhere watching and listening to them now. He had Gale, who always seemed to know when he was in trouble and was always there to bail his ass out. He had support and people who cared, but only Carolina could actually understand what Wash had gone through and what he continued to go through since she had been there, in both worlds.
And she was his sister. It was a lot to get his mind around, but he wasn’t nearly as freaked out as he thought he should have been at the revelation. Of all things it made him...happy that she was a part of his family and that he was a part of hers - crazy doctor of a father notwithstanding. Before this fiasco of a misunderstanding had started he had been determined to stick by her through everything no matter what. He still wanted the chance to do that, now more than ever.
He grinned at her. “Hey, you’re family now. I’d be a shitty brother if I didn’t give you a second chance.” The grin turned a little teasing, “you even held my shit for ransom, it doesn’t get much more sisterly than that, Boss.”
Carolina resisted the urge to mess with Wash’s hair to wipe that teasing grin of of his face. She was happy to see him smile again. After everything the military and the dreams had put him through, he deserved to be happy, and god help anyone to tried to convince him otherwise. How did that cheesy saying go? The only one allowed to make her brother cry was her. Everyone else would face the business end of her Beretta.
Huh. Maybe it was not so weird after all.
“We were always family, Gunney.” It was true. Carolina had thought of their squad as her true family. Through all of the squabbles and heartbreaks, they had become as close as any family unit she had known back home. And when they left, Carolina had forced herself to see them off with a smile. Well, maybe not a smile. It was more like a salute. Or at least with something other than a glare. “We just happen to be related now.”
That reminded her. “Speaking of your shit, as much as I liked my coffee table, you should probably take your boxes home with you. I’m sure there are things other than your comics that you might want to have in your place.” She had only looked through the one box that had contained his comic books, and that had only been because the box had broken halfway to the bedroom while she was still moving in. She had not wanted to pry into his past, but considering she had ended up being called a stalker anyway, she wished she had taken a look while she had the chance.
“You know, I could probably even be convinced to help you move those boxes, seeing as how you’re my precious little brother and all.” Carolina held up her empty coffee cup. “As long as you provide the joe.”