See, now you’re sounding like me.
Who: Harley and Helena what: Body swapped! When: 4/22 Where: their home status: complete Rating: PG-13
It was like any other morning. A rousing dream, a bit of a groggy wake up call, shoving a dog out of the way so she could use the bathroom. Smiling blearly at Helena in the mirror. Then crawling back into bed and groping her wife.
Wait.
Since when did Helena have a piercing there.
“Dafuck?” Harley sat up and looked down at …. Herself. “Oh boy.”
Helena only partially woke up as Harley had extricated herself from bed. She rolled her onto her back, drifting in that half-awake state until Harley got back in bed and started to grope her. A smile stretched across her face. At least until she heard…her voice come from not her. Her eyes opened and she looked up at herself.
“Bloody hell!” Helena said as she sat up and looked down at herself. Bleached skin, tattoos, colored hair, piercings. She was definitely not in her own body. “Well, this is new.” Harley’s American accent sounded slightly odd when paired with what she was saying.
“That sounds so wrong, sweetcheeks.” So did that. Harley laughed uproariously. “I sound so posh! TEA LONDON KNICKERS UNDERPANTS!”
She groped herself dramatically, and fell over into bed next to her own body. “There’s gonna be a great deal of hilarity in this.”
Helena raised her eyebrows and smirked a bit. Hearing those words come out of her own mouth was hilarious. “I wonder if the babies will be confused at all. Do we smell different to them while we are like this?” And then something else hit Helena and she blinked a bit.
“Though, do you have patients to see? Because while I could pretend to be you and to be a psychologist, it may be best if I simply call in sick for you. And vice versa.” She had to say, it was surreal to be looking at her own body like this, and to be seeing Harley’s body from this perspective.
“They probably won’t notice a difference.” Harley leaned over Helena to retrieve some gum from her nightstand, and popped it in. “Yeah I think we’re gonna need to take a few days off.”
She blew a bubble and popped it. She was probably doing this on purpose.
After Harley had retrieved gum, Helena shifted onto her side, propping up her head on her hand, watching Harley blow a bubble. “Now that is certainly surreal, seeing you blowing bubbles in my body.” She was a bit amused, if a bit unsettled. But at least neither of them had superpowers or anything of the like to worry about. That’s when Helena flexed her other arm, eyeing Harley’s bicep.
“Taking a couple days off would not be a bad idea. Or at least I can do some of my work here.” She did have a report to write, which she could easily do from home. No one would have to know she was currently looking quite a bit different.
“I’ll reschedule my appointments.” Harley stretched, and got out of bed. There was a bit of a different balance than she was used to, and a bit more up top, which she definitely wasn’t used to. “We could have fun with this…”
Pop went another bubble.
Helena was also a bit more slender in the muscle department than Harley. She watched as Harley moved and tried to adjust to the way Helena’s body felt and moved. And then a smile crossed her face, one that probably seemed quite a bit more devious than it would on her own face.
“What sort of fun are we talking, love? Because I may have a few ideas.”
“And here I’m supposed to be the dirty minded one. I mean we could fuck around with our friends!” Well, what friends they did have. But if Helena was going to be a little dirty minded, who was Harley to stop her? “Would that be masturbation?”
Helena laughed, and it was odd to have Harley’s laugh. “I didn’t mean strictly dirty ideas. Though we could certainly have some fun with people. I also feel like we should prank my mother.” Shifting onto her back, Helena stretched out her arms and legs before she sat up and got out of bed. Harley had a different balance to her body, but it was one she could easily deal with.
“Talk.” Harley nearly ran into Helena, wrapping her arms around her. This sent her off balance, and she let go, spinning around and crashing onto the laundry basket. She sat up, a pair of panties on her head. “You’re boobs are too big!”
Again, Helena laughed, then went over and plucked the pair of panties off of Harley’s head. She then held out her hands to help her back up to her feet. “That is not something I ever expected to hear.” She was teasing, of course. “As for pranking my mother, you could always talk to her as though you were me and tell her what you really think of her. It would be rather in character for me.”
“Oh my.” Harley planted a hand over her heart. “Mother dearest, I think you’re a sodding bore with too much time on her hands and her head so far up her arse she’s seeing her tonsils.”
That got a heart-felt belly laugh out of Helena. So much so that she ended up a bit off-balance and landed in the laundry basket as well. “Sometimes I think she’s seeing daylight, but that is just as well.”
Wrapping her arms around Helena, Harley pulled her close. This was strange, but not too strange. Honestly Harley would make out with a clone of herself if given the chance. She affected an even more posh version of Helena’s voice. “I wanted to be realistic.”
Helena slid her arms around Harley, snuggling close, and she chuckled. “You’re doing a remarkable job of it, babe.” Now Helena was trying out Harley’s voice. She was going to test what sounds she could get out of Harley’s voice.
“It sounds like I’m talking but I’m not talking. It’s so surreal.” Harley wondered if others had been affected. She started to giggle. “We’re probably not the only ones the network is going to be a clusterfuck today I can’t wait to read it!” It was going to be beautiful. A beautiful disaster.
“Believe me, I understand that sentiment.” It was surreal to hear her own voice, but she wasn’t the one talking. It was also strange to look at her face when it wasn’t a reflection in a mirror. “Oh, that will certainly be something to read. Other people have probably woken up in other houses. We at least just switched sides of the bed.”
Harley made a few faced, running through a series of expressions, each more comical than the last. “Who am I and why am I in this house? Oh no! I’ve got a penis! You know if I was a man I’d play with it all day?”
Helena grinned. “It shall be hilarious. Though you, my dear, were already a man once. A well endowed one, I might add.” She said, winking at Harley. “I for one am happy to still be female. A very attractive female at that.”
“But what if I was a male you? That would be interesting. Sexy accent and all. Maybe a young Sean Connery.” Would it be strange to get banged by yourself? Harley can ask the important questions. “We should get dressed and get something to eat.”
She was tempted to wear one of her normal outfits. Just to oogle herself in the mirror.
“Now that would be interesting.” Helena said with a bit of a grin. She managed to get up, then offered her hands to help Harley up. “Just as a warning, if you wear your own clothes, they may not fit right on my body. Larger breasts and I’m not as muscular as you are.”
“.....lets see what happens.” Harley bounced up, kissing Helena then dancing past her to the closet. It was a little less graceful than she usually was, even though her wife was pretty flexible. She pulled on the booty shorts and the tightest top she could find, just to see.
Kissing her back, Helena watched with a smile as Harley pulled on some clothes. She tilted her head, looking her body up and down in that outfit. While she wasn’t a prude, she did tend to cover her skin up more than not, so it was odd to see the her body in booty shorts. “I think I need some sun, I’m a pasty, pale British woman,” she noted with a chuckle. “Though the booty shorts make my ass look good.” Even if the outfit was a bit off in the fit considering her body dimensions were different from Harley’s.
“We’ll get you a spray on tan you can be orange,” Harley said. She wasn’t serious, spray on tans were fugly after all. But working on a tan might be fun. And more excuses to see her wife naked were welcome. She ran her hands down her hips. “You know I ain’t sure which of us is curvier?”
“I think not. Orange is not a good look for me,” Helena responded amusedly. She then went to the closet, opting to wear some of Harley’s clothes. Partly because she was curious to try them on, even if she was in Harley’s own body, and partly because they’d at least fit her body. “I would say you are, but I may simply be biased and enjoy gripping your hips.” Innuendo intended with a smirk.
Harley threw her head back and laughed. It sounded so wrong coming out of Helena’s mouth that she stopped abrubtly and clamped her hand over her mouth. Right, she’d have to calm down and not entirely embarrass Helena. Sigh. She started to strip to pull on something a bit more wife.
Yeah, Helena’s laugh sounded incredibly odd coming from Harley. She smirked a bit, eventually choosing some booty shorts and a matching, tight top. She rustled about for some accessories, mostly what shoes or boots to wear, and possibly some fishnets. Helena was going to fully embrace the role of being Harley. And she wasn’t going to be afraid to show some skin either. Harley did have lovely skin, after all, bleached coloring and scarring included.
“So, do you want to go out for breakfast or something?” She asked. She’d need to make a point of not using so many British turns-of-phrases while in Harley’s body. They just sounded wrong in an American accent.
“Wow, I’m hot.” Harley grabbed her own hips and pulled her close until their hips knocked together. “I hope it lasts all day because I have plans for us later, darling.” She rolled the world, moving her tongue around it like it was something sensual.
Helena licked her lips as her hips knocked together with Harley’s. Her hands slid up along Harley’s arms, a satisfied smirk on her face. “I do like the sound of that, babe. It’s going to be a one-of-a-kind experience.”
“See, now you’re sounding like me.” And she was sounding like Helena. Harley tilted her head. “Do you think we could actually fool people? We can prank your mom. And Christine.” Pranking Christine would be kind of fun but it would have to be a friendly prank.
Helena grinned and leaned on Harley, draping herself on her much the way Harley liked to do to her. “Considering how you’re soundin’ like me already, I say we can fool people. Though Christina may be a little harder to fool. She knows me well, but it’s definitely possible!” Helena was purposely trying to use grammar and such that Harley typically used. All the better to get into character, as it were.
“Ten kisses says she’ll figure it out sooner rather than later.” Christina was really smart and she’d at least think something was up. They couldn’t copy each others’ mannerisms 100% of the time and there might be slip-ups.
“She’ll probably figure it out quickly. But we can at least have a go of it!” Helena noted with a grin. She did have a love of playing jokes and pranks when she was in the mood or having an opportunity. It was even possible she was planning one to play on her wife.
Holding out her arm for Helena, Harley bounced on her heels and gave her a very un Helena-like smile. “Ready when you are, sweetcheeks.”
Once she was ready, Helena grinned and took the offered arm. “I’m ready, love,” she said. Yeah, that didn’t sound right in Harley’s voice but right now she didn’t quite care.