t(-.-t) (the_warden) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-04-05 01:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, maia amell (the warden), morrigan |
Who: Morrigan and Maia
What: Dinner and Maia reveals her own dark secret
When: recent
Where: A restaraunt
Status: complete
Rating: Pg-13 for discussion of demon possession and blood magic
Morrigan wasn’t certain how nice Maia had meant by looking nice, so she’d opted for wearing a little black dress that would fit into any meaning of the phrase looking nice. And even in a little black dress and stylish heels, she was showing a little less skin than those so-called “robes” of hers did. She pulled her hair up and accentuated her look with a simple silver necklace and a bracelet.
She then headed to the place where she was to meet Maia for dinner. She was there early and got a table. She was a bit anxious and nervous for this dinner. Despite Maia having forgiven her, Morrigan still wasn’t certain precisely where they stood with one another. Especially considering they’d pretty much made out with each other the last time they’d seen each other. At least before Morrigan had dropped the bombshell.
But it was still a little black dress. Maia wasn’t prepared for a little black dress, even if she was wearing a little white dress, the kind that was at an angle so one leg was more covered than the other. She didn’t know how Morrigan would react to what she had to tell her. She might think nothing of it. Maybe call her a monster. Probably somewhere in between. It had, in part, been one reason she’d accepted Morrigan’s confession quicker than she might have otherwise - they both had bad things on their conscience.
The other reason for being in public would be to reduce the urge to snog Morrigan. The attraction was not easily ignored.
She stepped inside and looked around, before spotting Morrigan and making her way over. Her heart did literal flips in her chest.
They would certainly need to talk about things before they went forward with what had happened last time they were together. If that was even still on the table. Forgiveness was one thing, trust was quite another, and there would need to be some work done before anything else happened.
Looking up, she spotted Maia as she approached, and she had to swallow hard at seeing that dress on her. Maia dressed in white while Morrigan was in black. Somehow she found irony in that considering Morrigan was the terrible person of the two of them.
“Hello, Maia,” she greeted.
Hopefully it was still on the table. Only time would tell. Really, Maia should have worn red but it was too late now. She smiled nervously, then took a seat. “Good evening. You look...you look quite fetching.” It was an understatement if ever she’d made one. If Morrigan was a demon Maia felt already possessed.
As far as Morrigan was concerned, it was up to Maia whether it was still on the table or not. Morrigan’s feelings hadn’t changed, but she also hadn’t been the one who had been hurt by her secret. So it was Maia’s play. She smiled. “And you look beautiful.” While the thought that Maia looked like an angel crossed her mind, she wasn’t going to say that.
“Thank you.” Maia ducked her head, before finally meeting her eyes. “So...I think I need something in my stomach before I spill my own dark, foreboding secrets. Laying them on the table as it were.”
And by filling her stomach she started with the wine.
“Not the sort of thing to discuss on an empty stomach?” Or a sober one, Morrigan silently noted as Maia started with the wine. Though she doubted anything Maia had to say was in any way worse than what Morrigan’s secret had been. There was little that was worse than the whole seemingly being with the group just to get the Old God soul and not because she actually wanted to be there.
“Not really the sort of thing to discuss at all but I did promise.” Maia smiled tiredly. She smoothed her dress down as she put the cloth napkin over her lap. “As a...Grey Warden there are things that I must do, whether I find them appealing or not. Stopping the Blight is just that important.”
“That is what Grey Wardens do, is it not? Do anything to put a stop to the Blight lest it consume the world and destroy it?” Morrigan had no qualms with that. Blights were something that needed to be stopped swiftly lest the world become decimated. After all, the First Blight had nearly overrun Thedas before it was discovered how to kill an Archdemon.
Thankfully, the wine arrived and Maia knocked back half the glass before she felt like she could continue. “Quite. Every weapon possible needed to be at my disposal. Even the kind of weapon despised by the general population. The Thedas equivalent to assault rifles, really.” She wasn’t sure blood magic could be a weapon of mass destruction, honestly.
But then she had no idea about tears in the sky, either.
Morrigan read through that description easily enough. “Blood magic,” she said as a statement. And it was one with no judgement being carried in it. Morrigan didn’t necessarily mind blood magic. It was more how it was used. Though she may not like the deal with the demon to get the blood magic part. Demons were something Morrigan didn’t like nor did she listen to them when she encountered them. Such as the whole Fade portion of the Circle. A demon had taken Flemeth’s form and tried to get her to do something, but she recognized it for what it was and didn’t listen.
“...Yes,” Maia admitted. She trailed her finger around the edge of her class. And soon enough she’d dream of Vigil’s Keep. While she might have drank the vials (because why not), her own actions would confuse her. But there was a limit to how far she’d go.
“Though of more concern is what I did to gain that power.”
Morrigan sipped her wine, letting Maia take the time she needed to say it. She could be patient. Though she arched her eyebrows slightly at what Maia did say. “What did you do?” She remembered Jowan when they’d gone through Redcliffe to get rid of the undead (a side trip that Morrigan hadn’t exactly been happy with, but when was Morrigan actually happy about…anything they did that wasn’t directly related to the Blight?), and seriously hoped that Maia hadn’t learned the blood magic from him of all people.
Though she wasn’t complaining over that stupid woman having to die to perform the ritual. It had been Isolde’s fault in the first place. And it at least had shut the woman up from being so condescending and not taking any responsibility for her actions.
“It happened when I was in the fade.” She suddenly felt ill to her stomach, and rested a hand on it as she wrestled with what to say. Maia decided that just coming out with it would probably be best. Ripping the bandage off as it were. “I made a deal with that desire demon.”
She could tell herself, over and over, that it didn’t mean the boy was doomed. That there wouldn’t be a way to free him, or that he wouldn’t gain the strength and fortitude to resist when the demon returned for her prize.
She’d basically lied to herself.
It was now Morrigan’s turn to stare and wonder what the hell was going on. She frowned a bit. “You made a deal with a demon.” That was difficult to swallow. “What sort of deal did you make that resulted in you learning blood magic?” Her tone was even and careful. She was choosing her words wisely, and aside from that bit of a frown, there was no other outward indication to how she felt about this.
"She can come back, try to possess him when he's older," Maia replied, trying to keep her voice even. "I thought it the best solution to gain the knowledge. If he can learn to withstand it when she returns, anyway. Wishful thinking, probably, but I never did promise that he wouldn't be allowed to fight it.”
Okay that was...not as terrible as she’d thought it could be. Morrigan had thought Maia was going to be the one possessed. But the demon seemed fixated upon Connor. Intriguing. “So you traded the boy’s life for blood magic. I now see why you do not wish Alistair to know.” She took a sip of her wine, thoughtfully.
“I do not like you making deals with demons. If something goes contrary to her plans in the future, you do know she could come for you.” Morrigan may have a more free opinion of magic, not being judgemental on blood magic itself (when not used by the stupid and incompetent, that is), but she disliked demons. “I imagine you did not make the deal lightly?” She was curious to see if it had been a decision Maia had actually thought out as opposed to being one made on the spur of the moment.
"She's welcome to try. I'd be in a better position to deal with her, maybe." Maybe she could have beaten her in the fade. Maybe she couldn't have. It hadn't really been something that had crossed her mind at the time, if she was honest with herself.
She picked at a nail. "Yes. This is a boy's life I was gambling with. But what is one life against all of Ferelden? The whole world? We need an army to fight the Darkspawn. Grey Wardens to kill the Archdemon. It's not going to be at all easy. But that power, if used well, at the right place and time, might save hundreds, or thousands of lives. Spare so many the fate of the army at Ostagar. One boy, against that..."
She sank back, as if all the air were draining out of her. "I can spin it any way I want, try to rationalize it...Yet I still feel like a monster."
“Clearly the boy has an ability that she wants more than anything else if she is to come back for him in the future. Perhaps he is a Dreamer, or something of that sort.” Flemeth had told her stories of mages who could enter the Fade at will and shape the Fade to their will. That power was seemingly rare in modern times, and it also seemed to attract demons like a beacon.
“There are times and places for blood magic to be utilized, I do recognize that. I, however, am still uneasy about the demon aspect of it. Demons enjoy tricking us and double dealing just as much as we may try to do the same to them. It is fire you are playing with, but when the world is at stake and you need another weapon that could turn the tide in our favor later, then that is a chance you must take.”
Sometimes even Morrigan could understand and approve of things. She may not like when Maia went more of the bleeding heart hero, but there was still plenty that Morrigan did like about Maia.
“You are not a monster. So long as the boy receives competent training in his magic, he stands an excellent chance of resisting the demon later on. That is not the same as allowing him to remain possessed currently.”
Maia nodded slowly, a little relieved that Morrigan was taking this so well. Maybe it would all be okay. She just hoped she didn’t do anything else stupid or crazy.
Who was she kidding she tried to recruit both werewolves and the Dalish! “What would be worse, not needing it, or using it?”
“I believe t’would depend upon the manner of how it is used. I have a less rigid stance on blood magic than most do, though the mind control aspects and the like are ones I personally do not approve of.” And the method Flemeth used to extend her life. Morrigan wasn’t certain if she would call that blood magic or not, but Morrigan definitely didn’t want it happening to her.
Maia shook her head. “No, I don’t think I’d do that.” She couldn’t think of any reason pressing enough to resort to mind control. Their enemy was dark spawn, no humans would willingly work with them. “And there are good uses. Medical uses.” If one of her people were bleeding out, she could maybe stop it.
“You do not seem the type to do that.” If she was, Morrigan was rather certain things would be different within the party, and in the outcome of some of the problems they ran into along the way. “Medical uses?” That was new. Morrigan had never heard of it being used for medical purposes before.
“Yes...part of blood magic is manipulation of blood. What if it were used for better reasons. Augment healing spells. Stop someone from bleeding out. Even use it to fight blood borne diseases!” She frowned. “I suppose it’s like anything else controversial. Who would be willing to let a blood mage run the right kinds of tests.”
Morrigan tilted her head, obviously turning that thought over in her head. “Fascinating. In theory I suppose it could work. Were you to ever wish to put such a thing to the test, I do have healing spells that I shall one day be able to use. We could test such a thing then?” The irony that Morrigan, who would normally be thought of as a blood mage, was in fact a spirit healer, and the Warden was a blood mage was not lost on her.
“Maker only knows what we’ll face. It’s best to be prepared, and I’d rather work with someone I… trust.” And yes, she trusted Morrigan. Even after everything. She gave the other woman a sheepish smile. “If you still trust me.”
And again Morrigan was caught off-guard by the admission of trust. “You do?” She was having trouble grasping the fact that someone could forgive her, let alone still trust her after what she’d revealed. “Why?” Because she definitely needed to know.
“I do still trust you. Just do not go making any more deals with demons. If you do, I may have to hit you and give you a lecture on why that is a terrible idea. And following that I will proceed to wash my mouth out because you would have turned me into that preachy school marm you brought into the group.” Who knew that Morrigan and Wynne could actually agree on something?
“You were willing to tell me about Flemeth’s plans. And I can understand why you’re keeping that to yourself in our dreams. I was angry, but it’s logical.” She pushed hair out of her face. “You’ve proven more than trustworthy here.”
She put her hand to her chest. “I solemnly swear to consult you on further demon dealings.”
“I am pleased that we have come to such an accord, then.” Morrigan said with a smile. It lifted a weight off of her shoulders that she’d somehow gone and screwed up this relationship before it had even really begun. “Excellent. I shall simply advise you to avoid making any deals with demons. It is not a business one should make a habit of getting into.”
Maia felt almost dizzy. Like she could breathe again after too long having to hold her breath. Her shoulders felt lighter as well. “It feels like we’ve gotten over a rather large hurdle. If there… are further secrets in our dreams, we should not keep them to ourselves.”
“Agreed. All I am aware of is that my dream self is learning things from the Grimoire we found in the Circle. I know she will tell you when she is finished drawing her conclusions based on the evidence. Though from what I know, t’would seem that Flemeth has some unsettling plans for me that I had no previous knowledge of.” And that left Morrigan feeling angry and dismayed. Flemeth was an incredibly powerful mage, one that Morrigan well knew she could not fight alone. Nor was she even certain Maia or anyone else in the party being with her would be able to defeat Flemeth.
“Something tells me we’re going to have to fight her, eventually,” Maia said, unintentionally voicing Morrigan’s thoughts. She didn’t know if that was okay with her friend. There was a difference between hating a parent and openly advocating their murder.
“Have you become a mind reader? That is something I was pondering. Though Flemeth is far more powerful than she appears.” Morrigan had some intense opinions on Flemeth, and she was starting to wonder if her mother was even human. If she wasn’t, it would explain a lot.
“Between the two of us and our meatsheilds, I’m sure we can handle it. Just line Oghren, Alistair and Shale in front of us. Simple!” She was joking - yet she was also entirely serious.
“My mother would eat Alistair in a moment. At least Oghren’s stench would keep her from trying to eat him, and Shale is difficult to do anything to. Perhaps she could punch my mother so hard she wakes up a few centuries in the past.” Morrigan was also both joking and entirely serious.
“Alistair would give her indigestion,” Maia assured her. And she meant that in a good way, somehow. Not that she could ever explain it. “The three of them make a good meat wall, though. Sometimes I want to get up front with some knives.” She picked up a knife and spun it around. “I’ve been taking tips from Zevran!”
Morrigan actually laughed at the indigestion comment. “He most likely would. I would certainly enjoy that sight.” She grinned at the thought. It was a very nice thought, actually. “I am unsurprised about you taking tips from Zevran. So long as you do not take lockpicking tips from him lest we stand about all day and wait for Leliana to finally become frustrated enough to do it herself.” Because Zevran was kind of useless at everything but fighting.
“Oh no, I’d rather learn that from Leilana.” Maia smiled. Leilana was certainly a gorgeous woman, and skilled with her fingers. Ahem. “Zevran is a good bloke but useless at...most things.”
“Zevran is good at talking. That seems to be what he is best at.” At least Zevran seemed to use that talent more to bother Wynne than he did her. Sort of. Morrigan tended to just stay as far away from him as possible. “I still do not understand why you did not simply kill him. I am still expecting him to slit our throats when we sleep.”
“That and one other thing,” Maia joked. She shook her head. “Sometimes you can tell a person is honest by the looks in their eyes. And for all his stories about assassinations, he doesn’t actually strike me as someone who’s particularly good at dissembling.”
“Perhaps there is truth in that. After all, none of the other Crows took the bounty to come after you and Alistair.” Clearly Zevran was either a bit dim, which was debateable, or he was terrible at being an assassin and was looking for an out.
“It did kind of stick around didn’t it.” Maia grinned, and casually reached over to touch Morrigan’s hand. “I suppose if he tries to stick a knife in my ribs, I’d deserve it.”
At the touch to her hand, Morrigan did not pull away from it. “For letting him live, you would,” Morrigan teased. After all, Maia had had a perfect opportunity to kill Zevran, but she hadn’t. “Though I certainly hope such a fate would not befall you.”
“We’ll find out eventually.” Her fingers trailed an almost sensuous path over Morrigan’s knuckles. It was a relief to touch her again, and for reasons she didn’t fully understand it helped to abate the last of her feelings over the betrayal. “I’ve spent the past three days in a mixture of anger and heartache and more than once I picked up my phone to call you.”
The sensation of Maia’s fingers on her knuckles sent shivers up Morrigan’s arm. But instead of pulling away or being repulsed by the feel, she instead turned her hand over, a neatly manicured (and purple-painted) fingernail tracing along the palm of Maia’s hand. “I am sorry that I put you through that, but I am happy that you did finally call.”
Maia’s breath caught in her throat and it took several moments for her to trust herself enough to look back into Morrigan’s eyes. “I’m….glad I called too. It’s wasn’t worth it, to hold onto that anger.”
“Personally speaking, you would have every right to hold onto the anger.” Morrigan was still trying to figure this whole friendship, or more-than-friendship, thing she had with Maia. It was complicated to her because there was no set way to go about dealing with this. Morrigan was completely in the dark here, and she simply hoped she didn’t go and screw it all up again.
“Well, I won’t.” Whatever it was they were, Maia treasured it. She knew the extent of her feelings was even stronger in her dreams, though she’d never admit it. At least not yet.