Azula burns bright (bornoffire) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-08-10 12:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, azula, mai, ty lee |
"I shoot fire from my hands you can't hold back with that. It was self-defense!"
Who: Azula, Mai and Ty Lee
What: Confronations!
When: after Azula burned down the warehouse in London
Where: London
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13
The sun was beginning to rise as Azula stepped out of the elevator. She was tired, her hair was a mess, and there were smudges of soot on her cheek and neck. She looked not unlike a lost little girl come home from spending all day in the park. It was pathetic. She knew it was pathetic, but she didn't care.
Her father had used her to murder. It hadn't been a fight, or defense, or even a fair match up. And what's worse she'd been misled as to the reasons for it. Embezzlement. She could have just scared him. Made him piss his pants, gotten some jollies for herself and set him straight for the Fire Lord.
But instead...
Instead he’d played on her weaknesses, her sympathies for her friends. The problem was, Azula didn’t know if she wanted to squash those feelings, or embrace them.
The fire on the news was too suspicious, and Mai had stared at the news coverage with her face all scrunched up. She got up off of her bed and walked across the hall to Ty Lee's room. The door was still open, the gymnast having left it that way so that her friends wouldn't keep having to knock.
She was still in her cape and still wearing her medals, flopped onto her hotel bed with an extremely content expression on her napping face. Mai almost felt bad about ruining the moment. Instead, she shook her awake, and turned the tv on.
"Nnh? I don't want them to take the bear, I was teaching him..." Ty Lee blinked her eyes a bit and yawned, then blinked up at Mai, "You're mean. We were supposed to be keeping him safe!"
"... I don't even know what you're talking about. Wake up, look at this," Mai gestured to the tv, which she'd flipped to the news.
"Can't it wait, Mai?" Ty Lee frowned, but propped herself up on her elbows and took a look at the TV. She wasn't sure why Mai was waking her up to make her watch a fire, "That's sad, I hope everyone is okay..."
Mai looked down at her. Her arms were folded and she had her most serious expression on, "Ty Lee... think. No arson. No reason the fire started."
The other woman sat upright on the bed and squinted at the tv, trying to take in what Mai was saying to her. What was she implying? Why was this her business, aside from the general sadness for the property damage and anyone who might have been injured? She glanced up at Mai, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, where is Azula, because I think she did it," Mai answered, bluntly.
Ty Lee's eyes widened. Where was Azula?
The news report was talking about the possibility of lightning having started the fire, or some sort of electrical surge to explain the sound that witnesses had heard, that was not unlike thunder.
As for the 'suspect' in the case, she was making her way down the outer hallway, past some other suites before stopping at the one she'd rented for herself. And now Ty Lee was staying with her. She just hoped the girl was still sleeping so she could get a shower and climb into bed with her. Maybe this guilt odd feeling in her stomach would be gone by morning.
She swiped her keycard and opened the door. She was immediately greeted by the sound of the tv, and so quietly closed the door and tried to slip into the luxurious bathroom to wash her face.
Azula was not, however, sneaky enough for Mai not to notice her arrival. Ty Lee remained seated on the bed while the TV discussed lightning, and tried to swallow the feeling of dread that was washing over.
Mai, meanwhile, made her way over to the bathroom door and lightly knocked on it, "It's a beautiful day for Arson, don't you think?"
"The sun isn't even up yet," Azula replied through the door, getting the worst of the soot off her face, and then trying to fix her hair. She twitched a little, when it was impossible to do so. It wasn't perfect, she couldn't make it perfect and she didn't think she could ever be perfect again. Why did she even care about that fucking peasant?!
“Nice deflection there. Why are you hiding in the bathroom? Did you burn yourself while shoving lightning bolts up people’s asses?” Mai’s tone was hard to read. It was more abrasive than usual, but that could have been worry as much as anything else.
Ty Lee, still on the bed, gave Mai a hurt look. Mai simply crossed her arms and shrugged her shoulders.
Feeling like she was as presentable as possible, Azula opened the door and glared down at Mai. She was still tired, still exhausted and bitter and betrayed. She wasn't sure she could take Mai's shit right now, and snapped, "I did it for you. He was supposed to have been part of the trade."
"I never asked you to KILL anyone for me! I'm perfectly capable of killing people all on my own!" Mai shouted in return.
From the bed, Ty Lee was watching this as some kind of back and forth tennis match. It reminded her of a dream she'd had the night that Azula had flown home. She was still trying to sort through her emotions about it, because what she'd done to Azula in the dream had been an act of love. She was almost certain that Azula didn't share that point of view.
If they came to blows, who would she defend?
And when did Mai ever kill someone?!
"Father did!" Azula shouted back. She gripped the doorframe on either side of herself, to keep her hands still. Her voice shifted, low and dangerous, "He said he'd rooted out someone who had a hand in the trade, specifically the ship you were on. I offered to take care of it."
Judging by the look in her eyes and the crack in her voice, it had been implied that she ought to look into it. And that the information had been wrong.
"After I dealt with the man, I looked through everything. There was no link. None. That’s when ..the fire came.”
"...He played you," Mai stated, to summarize.
She didn't like that. Not at all. And there wasn't much she could do about it. She was a member, just like Azula was. The tattoo on her thigh was there for life. Ozai couldn't be openly challenged or questioned. She let out a long sigh, "What a mess."
Ty Lee hugged herself, "You ... you really killed people? Both of you? Killed people?"
"Yes," Azula replied with a bitter laugh. "Yes he did."
She looked over at Ty Lee. Ty Lee wasn't in it yet. She hadn't gotten the tattoo, and now if Azula had her way, she never would, "What do you think happened to some of those men on the boat?"
Or all the people they'd killed, in that other place, "Don't worry about it, Ty Lee. I'd never ask you to kill anyone."
Folding her arms, Azula added quietly, "No one...no one plays me and gets away with it. Not even the Fire Lord."
"That's dangerous territory there," Mai warned her.
She didn't answer Ty Lee. She didn't have to. The other girl was looking between Mai and Azula again, even more devastated than before, "You really... actually... on the boat, too? Killed people? Just like that!?"
In the dreams, she'd only ever disabled them. It seemed ... the smarter route, to her. Maybe the more moral one, too. A way to deal with the demanding life of the Fire Nation without having to worry about the dilemmas that came with it.
"He won't see it coming." Azula felt herself torn between two separate conversations, one revolving around vengeance and the other morality. She didn't have the energy or patience to deal with either. Why won't they see things her way?
"There wasn't a choice. They would have killed us if we hadn't killed them. There weren't many casualties." Azula hadn't bothered to count, before the torpedo had hit.
Her shoulder was bothering her, so she stormed over to her luggage and pulled out the sling. She was snappish, and she didn't care right now. Out of the luggage also came a bottle of pills, and she hesitated, before popping one. She hated these things but, she thought she might break something that couldn't be fixed if she had to deal with this pain on top of everything else.
It said something that she was visibly trying not to lose it with either of them.
"It doesn't matter. It's over and done with. He was still betraying the Fire Nation. Embezzling." She spit, "I would have scared him for that. It would have been fun."
This...this wasn't fun, and she berated herself for weakness.
Mai's eyes marked where in the luggage those pills were located, but she didn't say anything else.
Ty Lee, also, was sort of stunned. She'd thought she knew who Azula was, but maybe she'd been wrong. Cruelty, she knew Azula was capable of, but actually killing someone? And Mai. Mai was an even bigger surprise, somehow. She was still hugging herself, "There's always a choice."
"I shoot fire from my hands you can't hold back with that. It was self-defense!" Azula snapped. She stripped her top off and pulled the sling on, for once not caring that either of them saw her like this.
She sat on the bed, swallowing a hard lump in her throat.
It was barely audible, "This was different."
Then as quickly as it appeared, she squashed the remorse down, "More importantly my father lied to me."
"That's definitely the important part of all this," Mai remarked, while throwing one hand up in the air. Her sleeve fluttered a bit out of place in the process and she quickly yanked it back down.
Ty Lee let out a long sigh, then asked in a tiny voice, "What are you going to do?"
Luckily for Mai, she wasn't looking anywhere at her.
"Force his hand. Make the board and the lieutenants realize he's a liability." Some small part of her wanted to divorce the criminal element from the legal one. She wondered where that part came from.
"I can't ..I can't face him directly. Not with Zuko, or even Uncle at my back."
He's too powerful. He's the Phoenix King, even without fire-bending powers.
Azula twitched, and pressed her hand hard against her healing shoulder wound, hissing in a mixture of frustration and pain.
She felt trapped. Trapped in a life that had been shaped for her from birth, trapped in a role that she didn't seem to fit in anymore. Trapped in her own guilt and her own anger.
Luckily for Mai, she missed the motion, too.
"Maybe we can face him indirectly," Mai mumbled.
She understood the feeling of being trapped. They'd been thinking before about what they'd both have to do to break free. It seemed like that was still something that was necessary, even after her parents had exiled her.
Ty Lee crawled over to Azula and put her arms around her. She wasn't sure what else to do, "I'll help ... somehow... but no more killing people."
Azula snarled, stiffening, "I'll kill anyone who hurts you."
She relaxed slightly, and leaned back into Ty Lee's arms, "You're not in far enough. You don't belong to the Nation yet. We don't want you to belong."
At her last words she met Mai's eyes.
Mai nodded. She’d already come to that decision before she’d even been kidnapped, “We don’t. Zuko doesn’t either. We all want you to stay out of this, where it’s safe.”
“... But I want to help...” Ty Lee frowned.
“Not like this, Ty Lee. You don’t want to help like this.” Mai shook her head, and glanced at Azula.
"Not like this," Azula whispered. Her words dripped with added meaning, "I love you. If I lost you somehow.."
And she didn't just mean physically. She didn't want to lose the girl she'd fallen in love with. The one that made her smile even if she never let herself show it.
Azula was certain she'd lose her mind. She already felt like she'd lost her soul, if she'd ever had one to begin with.
She let out a short laugh. Her father had told her to marry someone. It would be good publicity.
It was a bit amazing to Mai that Azula had actually said it aloud. Her respect for her, and her relationship with Ty Lee, went up a few notches at that. In spite of how they'd all ended up having this conversation.
"I love you... You won't lose me. I'll find a way to help without joining," Ty Lee sounded determined. They weren't going to completely leave her out of this! There had to be a way for her to do something without getting involved in the Fire Nation. Maybe Uncle Iroh would know something...
Azula was silent for a long moment. She knew Ty Lee would try to do something, but as long as she stayed out of the way of the nation proper, she might be okay. She gave Mai a look. All but asking her to look out for Ty Lee.
Her voice was thick with unspent emotion, "Do you promise I won't lose you?"
Ty Lee pecked her cheek, “I promise.”