Morrigan is many things (whathavewehere) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2016-03-24 19:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, maia amell (the warden), morrigan |
Who: Maia and Morrigan
What: Showing off their dream gifts and sharing a kiss. And then Morrigan comes clean about some dream things and things get rather tense.
When: March 21st
Where: Morrigan's home
Warnings: Pretty low
Status: Complete
Maia's robes weren't entirely potato-sack like. The ones her dreams had provided were still a little weird looking, but they were gold in color. They had the strangest feathery shoulder pads and a great deal of exposed cleavage and thighs. No where near as bad as Morrigan's robes, but at least Morrigan's were FASHIONABLE. Though rhe robes she dreamed of either looked like this, or like a glorified night club dress, complete with thigh highs. Honestly,someone needed to teach the tailors of Thedas fashion.
And Morrigans….They could barely be called robes. Really, they were more like fetish material, but then there were some mages Maia had dreamed about that wore some clearly fetishy materials so who was she to complain?
She stepped out of her car, smoothing her robe out and made her way up to Morrigan’s door.
Morrigan’s robes were...definitely not robes at all. It was basically a scant bikini-like top covering her breasts, then a long section of cloth that turned into a hood she could pull up over her head or let it drape down her back. At least her legs were covered, though. And they were pants. Leather, with leather fringe stuff. And a few feathers on one shoulder.
It would be a lie to say that Morrigan hadn’t immediately put the clothes on when she’d first found them. They fit perfectly, of course. And now that Maia was coming over, she was wearing them again. She could certainly see herself wearing them often. When she wasn’t working, obviously. She wanted to seem like a professional and not a hooker.
At the knock she went and answered the door. This time her hair was up in that messy bun and she looked exactly the way she did in the dreams. And then Morrigan’s gaze ran over Maia’s outfit. The Tevinter look. She could certainly appreciate that. Far better than the suffocating robes the Circle had mages wear.
“Well well, what have we here?” She asked with an approving smirk. Yes, she was quoting herself from the dreams. She felt it was appropriate.
Maia would have burned her circle robes if they had shown up. There were a few looks she could get already, at least she’d gotten one she’d liked. But that was neither here nor there. She stared at Morrigan like she was looking at a very attractive ghost. Who’d stepped out of her dreams and into her waking life and she was not straight enough for this.
The first joke that came to mind was ‘how much for an evening’ but she just croaked a little instead.
Morrigan’s smirk widened, and a gleam passed through her eyes. And her gaze did, of course, fall to that cleavage of Maia’s. The Tevinter style looked good on her. Not many could pull it off with such finesse as Maia did.
“Rendered speechless, I see. Have I also rendered you immobile?” As much as she found Maia attractive, which she did, Morrigan wasn’t so easily rendered speechless. So she felt she should get in the teasing remarks while she could.
She wished she had her staff, she could have leaned casually on it and maybe recovered from her inability to respond coherently to Morrigan in that robe. Instead she ran fingers through her mane of dark hair and managed a somewhat normal sounding, “Oh. No. I can walk. I think.”
It kind of ran home how attracted she was to Morrigan in her dreams.
Now, Morrigan wasn’t the best at reading people, reading body language. Her empathy wasn’t the strongest. But it certainly didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that Maia clearly was attracted to her. And she wasn’t entirely certain how to handle that yet.
“Do come in,” she said. “Though I can lend a hand if you need it.” She meant it in helping Maia through the door, but there was an opening for it to be taken a completely different way.
“I might just need a hand,” Maia retorted. “Among other things.” She held her hand out, recovered enough to give Morrigan a cheeky smile. “A thigh, a finger, a foot…”
“A foot?” Morrigan asked, a little puzzled by that one. As Maia held her hand out, Morrigan reached out and took it, giving her a hand inside, as it were.
The contact was sizzling. Maia nearly forgot her vocabulary again as she saw Morrigan’s back. A variety of curses in English and Orlais ran through her head, but it was all summed up with ‘I am royally screwed’.
“I’m equal opportunity kinky,” Maia explained, after a moment of recovery.
It no doubt was to Maia’s benefit that Morrigan’s outfit had pants as opposed to either a really short skirt or a long skirt with very high slits. And by benefit it was meant that she was still upright and breathing. Unless that change to the outfit would’ve rendered a greeting of Maia flinging herself onto Morrigan with the ‘Take me now’ intent.
“Ah, I see. Take whatever may be available at the current moment?” Morrigan asked, glancing back at Maia over her shoulder. “May I offer you something to drink? Water, perhaps?” There was a playful smirk on her face with that comment.
Maia would never just fling herself at someone. She had enough self-restraint to keep herself from taking full advantage of someone, especially in absence of knowing consent.
Either Morrigan was making a joke at how thirsty Maia was, or she was … smirking. Which meant she knew exactly what she was doing. Maia gave her a smile. “I could certainly use a tall glass of something.”
And the smirk widened a bit. Morrigan decided she could be bold and see where this would lead. “A tall glass with a stiff drink in it?” No, she really couldn’t help that comment at all. It amused her too much, really. And she never really made these sorts of remarks, so while it was outside of her comfort zone, she was going to try it while she had the courage to.
Maia glanced at her, but covered up her puzzlement with a quick retort, “I do prefer some things stiff and a drink is one of them.” Was Morrigan flirting? It was hard to tell but she thought that Morrigan was flirting with her and the comment was making her dizzy.
Yes, Morrigan was flirting. At the response, she moved over to a cabinet where she kept her liquor. Taking two glasses, she poured them each a double scotch. The good kind of proper scotch. She walked back over to Maia, offering her one of the glasses. “Perhaps this may be to your palette?” There was a glint in her eyes, and that smirk wasn’t quite leaving her face.
Watching Morrigan move around, Maia chewed on her lip. Of course, all she was doing was watching her pour the scotch. It had nothing to do with what she was wearing, at all. Bugger. Why was this sort of thing easier in a camp in the middle of the wilderness? Of course there she was almost certain Morrigan wasn’t interested. She reached for the glass. “Something tells me you have excellent taste.” In scotch. And probably in how she tasted.
Now in Morrigan’s view of things, it wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in the dreams, it was that she simply knew no matter what she’d end up breaking Maia’s heart in the end. So she felt it would be best to try and feign indifference. It would probably hurt Maia less that way. “Well, there is only one way to find out.” A double response for the double statement. Delivered with a twinkle of her eyes and a sip of the scotch.
Maia knocked back half of her drink then held the glass out for more. She tried to put on her best playing it cool voice. “Is there? I wasn’t aware. What kind of methods would you recommend?”
It had been quite a while since Morrigan had last felt attracted to someone, and she was certainly becoming ever increasingly aware that she was attracted to Maia. At the question, Morrigan took her turn to knock back a good portion of her drink. She definitely needed some liquid courage if she was going to keep this up. “Having intelligence is an excellent first step. A healthy wit and the intelligence to know when and how to use it takes you further.”
“And once one’s shields are down,” Maia asked, lifting her eyebrows. “And barriers are gone? What would be your favored method then?”
Morrigan was not prepared for this. Not by a long shot. But she was going to soldier on and hope she didn’t blunder things up along the way. “I prefer straight forward. It eliminates any potential awkwardness that may arise in such situations.”
Situations such as this current one Morrigan was finding herself in.
Neither of them were being particularly straight forward. Or straight. Not that Maia ever had problems with being straight. Her preference tended to be ‘all of the above.’ But while she was used to being smooth with the right kind of person, or straightforward with them, Morrigan was something else all together. Still. “I wouldn’t call this situation straight by any means.”
Morrigan did certainly earn herself a category all her own. She well knew she earned that sort of place, and she was actually kind of proud of it. She liked being different, and not what people expected. Though she had to laugh. “No, there is absolutely nothing straight about this situation.” But when it came to trying to put her attraction into words, Morrigan found she didn’t quite have words yet. She did hate being tongue-tied like this, but what could she do?
“Assuming there is a situation,” Maia answered, as though she were giving Morrigan a way out. Reluctantly. They had gone on a date. A real lunch date. And there’d been numerous meetings since then usually related to mutual interests. A wry smile curved her lips. “Though there is certainly that awkwardness that you so detest. We should do something about that.”
It was an out, but it wasn’t an out that Morrigan wanted to take. Not here. She’d denied herself in the dreams, knowing she had other things to do later on in them. But here? Here she didn’t have that need for secrecy, and perhaps if she let herself, maybe she could have romance. “There is a situation,” she responded, not taking the out. She didn’t know what it ultimately would mean, but she found herself wanting to take the chance. “The question is, what shall we do about that awkwardness?”
Oh, there was going to be talking when Maia finished her dreams. Talking. As in not a happy camper. But that was some point in the future, and this was now. Morrigan was a little too far away, her lips a little too enticing. Maia found herself scooting closer as if her body was moving of its own accord. “We could see what sort of magic we could make together.”
She’d been dying to make that kind of come on for months.
Morrigan was already expecting that outcome. And she was also expecting it to sever anything she and Maia may potentially build in the interim. She would take it because she would deserve it. And now she was coming to understand the reason her dream self was keeping her distance from everyone. Would it be easier to just push Maia away now and try to save her the pain later? Yes. Would it be the best thing to do? Morrigan didn’t have the answer to that. And she downed the rest of her drink with that thought.
Looking at Maia as she scooted closer to her. The proximity did make her breath hitch momentarily, her gaze falling to Maia’s lips for some moments before lifting back to her eyes. “How long have you wished to use that line?” There was a teasing note in her tone.
Would there be anger? Yes. Hurt? Probably. Injured trust and suspicion, but it wouldn’t take much thought to understand. And understanding would lead to forgiveness. Probably.
Maia wasn’t remotely entertaining such notions. Really, she was barely containing herself or her desires as it was - Morrigan so rarely let anyone in that the door being open felt almost like a trap. Despite that, her voice was breathy and she felt her chest constrict. “Weeks, months, years.”
She wouldn’t expect forgiveness. As much as she didn’t want to lose whatever this relationship with Maia was, she very well knew the cost of the truth could be losing it. It would hurt, but Morrigan well knew she’d only have herself to blame for it. And it would probably just remind her to stop letting people in, letting them trust her.
She licked her lips, having an overwhelming desire to kiss Maia, but she was hesitant. She wondered if she should tell Maia the truth now, before they even shared a kiss. “I am honored to be the one you were able to finally use it on.” Even if Morrigan didn’t have her magic yet.
YOLO. The phrase ran through Maia’s mind. You only lived once. Though in their case they seemed to live twice, one life much more exciting than the current one. Or maybe they lost, maybe the Blight overran everything and this was their reward for at least trying to stop it. Maia cupped Morrigan’s face and leaned in.
Whether this life was a reward or not remained to be seen. But she could already sense that it was also a chance to get things right. As Maia leaned in, Morrigan pushed the thought of stopping her aside. Morrigan wanted the kiss because then if Maia wanted nothing to do with her after telling her the truth, at least she’d have one kiss to hold on to. She also leaned in, her lips meeting Maia’s.
Oddly enough, Maia had similar feelings. Less to do with any secrets and more to do with the growing feeling of Morrigan pushing her away in the dreams and the fear it could happen here, too. So she wanted that one kiss to hold on to as well. And it was a wonderful kiss, figurative sparks making her lips buzz and her body hum.
It was something that could happen if Morrigan became frightened enough. But she was determined to at least try and see what could come of this. Which was why she was going to be upfront and tell Maia the truth. At least if she severed ties, it would be before either of them became far too entangled with each other. But for now, the kiss was indeed wonderful, and there were definite sparks as well. Figurative sparks. And she really liked it.
A sound caught in Maia’s throat, a little pleased sound that was halfway between a groan and a nervous squeak. It was horribly embarrassing, but Morrigan’s lips felt and tasted better than she’d imagined. Before she caught herself, her fingers were brushing the Witch’s cheeks. She was still holding that position when she broke the kiss, though her lips were still very, very close. “You might hit me for this one, but that was magical.”
This was not quite what she’d anticipated happening, though when she thought about it she didn’t exactly know what she had anticipated. But she wasn’t disliking the kiss at all. On the contrary, she did like it, even if it frightened her to let someone in. “It may please you to know that I will not hit you for that comment,” she responded with a slight chuckle.
“Good, we should save that sort of thing for other circumstances.” She opened with a bondage joke. Go Maia. That was… appropriate. Really. A smile teased at her lips, and she dared to sneak another kiss. As long as Morrigan was willing to give it up.
That bondage joke made Morrigan choke slightly on air she was inhaling. Yeah that was...possibly a little much for this very early stage. But she did give that kiss up, letting Maia take it and she gave it right back. Maia’s lips were very soft, and she had to say she quite liked the feel of them.
She grinned into the kiss, moving her hand briefly into Morrigan’s hair. That messy bun was hard to resist and her hair was much softer than she’d ever expected. But the touch was fleeting, and she dropped her hand to her own lap. It was almost like that was sacred territory that she wasn’t allowed to tread.
Morrigan had to wonder if the bondage joke had been intentional to make her choke. It probably was. Nevertheless, she lifted a hand and pressed it against Maia’s cheek, her thumb lightly stroking her cheekbone. She definitely liked kissing Maia. It sent a tingly feeling through her body.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Morrigan’s thumb on her cheek was virtually guaranteed to make Maia melt. She felt a cat bump into her shin and steadfastly ignored it. If there was tingling, maybe there was a different sort of magic at work and Maia was going to let herself fall into that spell as long as she could get away with.
There definitely seemed to be some sort of magic going on there. It was kind of weird in a good way. Though it also was a little frightening. Or more than a little frightening, really. Morrigan’s heart was kind of pounding in her chest, and she didn’t really know what to do about that just yet. Other than take the kiss for all she could, that is.
Maia put her hand on Morrigan’s leg. That was safe, right? It wouldn’t startle Morrigan, like how a cat might be startled if one were to move too quickly. But she had to breathe, and brushed her lips against Morrigan’s jaw as she inhaled some breath.
The hand on her leg didn’t startle her, at least not physically. Her mind started to wonder what the hell she was supposed to do next. And then Maia needed to breathe, and Morrigan followed suit, suddenly realizing she needed to breathe as well. She wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what she wanted to say. So she just remained silent, not wanting to ruin the moment.
The wrong words could ruin the moment and Maia was an expert at wrong words. They stood (heh) on the precipice of relationship change but all Maia could think about was the softness of Morrigan’s lips and the taste of her skin. She kissed her jaw again, then trailed her lip down it until she could kiss that spot where jaw met ear.
A shiver ran down Morrigan’s spine as Maia’s lips trailed down her jaw. As her lips reached the spot where her jaw met her ear, she made a low, approving sound, something akin to a purr. She tilted her head a bit, allowing Maia better access to that area.
Maker. Also Jesus. Maia’s hand found it’s way up to Morrigan’s thigh, then her hip as she nuzzled and kissed that same spot. And other than another pleased mewl the only other sound she made was Morrigan’s name. It was almost a question.
Morrigan found herself melting under Maia’s lips. This was a completely new sensation to her. She’d felt attraction before, but previous partners had never made her melt before. Which was in and of itself more frightening to her. She didn’t want to stop, but she was getting a little overwhelmed by sensations. “Maia…” It was barely a whisper, and she wasn’t even certain if she was asking her to stop or to continue.
Fuck, was Morrigan trembling? Or was that a shiver that ran through her. Maia squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn’t even sure if Morrigan had done … anything with anyone before. She cheated and flicked her tongue out before asking, “Do you want to stop?”
And if her voice sounded like silk and honey that wasn’t her fault.
Oh Maker, the tone of Maia’s voice was way too sexy for Morrigan’s own good. But it was a pertinent question. One that Morrigan was torn on. She didn’t precisely want to stop, and yet she didn’t think she was quite ready to get all hot and heavy. This wasn’t new to her, and she certainly wasn’t a virgin, but she liked a longer period of knowing someone before getting far too into it.
And then Maia unfairly had flicked her tongue out before asking, and Morrigan made a noise that was rather close to a whimper. “Not when you do that,” she murmured. Her voice was a bit more sultry than it typically was.
The sultry tone in Morrigan’s voice made Maia’s toes tingle. She took a long, deep breath and leaned back. That answer was just enough of a negative to convince her that they should stop there, before they both took leave of their senses - and Maia wasn’t that far off from it. “Wouldn’t want to cheat….”
It wasn’t easy, and Morrigan took a slow, deep breath, trying to calm herself when Maia leaned back. It was not an easy task, but at least the kiss had taken the awkwardness out of the situation. Well, at least the awkwardness that had been there before. As Morrigan’s head would start to clear, she’d remember that she should probably tell Maia about Certain Things in the dreams before they went any further.
“You would rather win me over fair and square?” Somehow she managed to find it within her to make that retort.
“I guarantee you’ll forget your own name,” Maia promised. She smiled teasingly. “That’s not really helping, now is it?” Her whole body still felt like it was humming. Morrigan was close enough that her senses were on fire and maker she had it bad.
“Uh...no, it is not helping.” Morrigan bit the inside of her cheek a bit, trying to calm herself down. This was a new level of desire that she felt. She licked her lips again. “I do, however, wish to see if you can make me forget my own name.” So that was both a challenge and an admission that she was interested.
“Shit….” Maia’s hand moved to Morrigan’s waist. There was some bare skin there and she felt a secret thrill when her thumb made contact. “That’s not going to leave my mind for some time. Cheeky.”
The feel of that little touch to her skin was enough to make her breath hitch. However, she managed to smirk a bit at Maia, lifting a hand and setting it on her shoulder. “Good, I do not intend it to leave your mind at all.”
Maia felt confused. Were they still flirting? If they were still flirting she wasn’t sure she could survive the day. The warmth of Morrigan’s hand on her shoulder was distracting, though not necessarily in the bad way. She moved her hand higher, touching Morrigan’s stomach almost daringly, and she met Morrigan’s eyes. “My natural inclination is to throw caution to the wind. It’s an inclination I’m trying very hard to ignore.”
They were still flirting from Morrigan’s point of view. However, the touch to her stomach was enough to shake her again, making her fumble for words. When Maia met her eyes, another shiver ran through her. “I have come to that conclusion about your natural inclination.” Her voice seemed a little less confident than was typical. Though considering Morrigan felt a bit tongue-tied at the moment, that wasn’t all that surprising.
Maia leaned in again. They were playing a dangerous game of chicken, and her kiss was quick, and heavy and full of promise. At least that was her intent. Maybe not as quick. Certainly heavy. Certainly promising. “Situations like this is why they used to require chaperones…”
There was a soft groan at Maia’s kiss. Morrigan melted under it, and she rather liked it. The heaviness and the promise only made it that much better. “Then tis a good thing we do not live in such a time. Though I do not mind being a scandal.”
Morrigan was a walking scandal in any life, no matter who she might dally with. A scandal that Maia didn’t particularly mind, herself. More kisses, and a feathery touch of fingers around Morrigan’s side and to her back. They were pretty close to making out like teenagers and Maia was pretty okay with that.
The touches sent shivers through her again, and she both loved and was frightened by the sensations, mostly at the strength of what she felt. Morrigan lifted a hand, finally daring to brush her fingers through Maia’s dark hair. She had to say, she was pretty okay with this making out like teenagers as well.
Fingers in her hair brought an embarrassing sound from Maia’s mouth. Her eyes fluttered closed again and she dared to flick her tongue against Morrigan’s lips. She had some vague idea that they were supposed to be drawing a line somewhere. And the strangest sensation that Morrigan was hiding something, but she dismissed both ideas.
And then it was Morrigan’s turn to make an embarrassing sound when Maia’s tongue flicked against her lips. Dear Maker, she was supposed to be drawing a line, not jumping head first into this mutual attraction. And yet she found it difficult to finish drawing that line. Maia was just so distracting. And when it came down to it, Morrigan was a bit weaker in will than her dream counterpart. Though perhaps that was due to the fact that she didn’t have some grand plan she needed to remain focused on achieving like her dream self did.
“Line?” Maia asked. Was there a line? Were they crossing it? Should they stop? Maia, being the merry leader of their band and all, should be the responsible one. But she hadn’t been that responsible in this life, and it was hard to get started when there was such sinful fruit the take a bite out of.
She followed up her question by pulling Morrigan’s lip into her mouth with her teeth.
Morrigan groaned as Maia pulled her lip into her mouth. Yes. There was supposed to be a line. There needed to be a line. Morrigan fought down the nearly overwhelming urge to just grab Maia’s head and kiss her deep and hard. That would only lead to things she wasn’t entirely certain she was ready for. And besides, Maia should know certain things before anything like that happened.
If anything like that would still happen after Maia found out why Morrigan was traveling with her in the dreams.
Getting a grip on herself, Morrigan took a breath. “Yes. Line.” She said, finally managing to pull herself back from Maia, a little breathless and her heart pounding in her chest. There was a flush to her cheeks as well.
If Morrigan had done that, then there probably would have been no stopping them from giving into desire and emotion. Skin flushed and pupils blown wide, Maia stared at Morrigan for a long, tense moment, expression unmasked and full of want. She put a full meter between them, then picked up a cat to act as a barrier. It made her laugh a little and her voice was racey. “One line, as ordered. Form of Persephone.”
With the distance and Persephone acting as a barrier between them, Morrigan attempted to find her ability to breathe and try to calm herself down. Her head was still hazy from the kissing. “Persephone is good for that.” She licked her lips, still able to feel Maia’s lips against her own. But now there was another slight elephant in the room, but Morrigan wasn’t going to address that one just yet. For one, not when she was still fighting the urge to just kiss Maia again. And for another, once her head cleared, she had a confession to make.
There was just enough of a stiff drink left in Maia’s glass for her to swiftly down to try to cool off. And to steady her nerves. She wanted nothing more than to sink into Morrigan’s skin, taste her and watch her come undone. It was such a powerful want that she couldn’t focus.
Self-control wasn’t one of Maia’s strong suits, and with a throaty chuckle, she acknowledged that aloud.
“Would like another drink? Or perhaps actual water now?” Morrigan offered, glancing at her own glass. More alcohol would probably only add to the possibility that their clothes would come off and as far as Morrigan was concerned, she’d rather be stone cold sober for that if it was to happen. She didn’t want alcohol to be what led to that sort of thing.
“As tempting as that is, water is probably for the best. Something nice and cold.” Her mind was thinking along the same lines. If anything more happened she wanted to be terrifyingly sober. Well, maybe one glass to brace herself because Morrigan was just that intimidating. What if she was disappointing? She’d never hear the end of it!
“Water it shall be.” Morrigan grabbed Maia’s glass, then went to get them both some cold water. She also took the opportunity to take some breaths and get a grip on herself. Which was definitely needed. Her head had cleared a little more when she came back with the water, handing one to Maia. “Hopefully this is sufficiently cold for you.”
“Oh. Definitely.” Maia had smoothed her hair down, and while she looked flushed, she was sufficiently cooled down enough to hopefully have a normal conversation. Though Morrigan was still in that robe and Maia was going to die soon. She nursed the water trying to cool down again. “I’m sure plenty have told you you’re beautiful, but you’re absolutely enthralling.”
Perhaps Morrigan should change clothes, but she didn’t quite feel like making the trek to her bedroom to do that right at this moment. She took a drink of water, and drew in a breath. She smiled. “Thank you, though you are every bit as beautiful.”
Maia made a dismissive sound, but winked at her. “I dare say we’ve… learned a few things today.” Like how had she not died the first time she’d seen Morrigan? Or every subsequent viewing? Maybe because she had other things to worry about in the dreams.
“Indeed we have.” Morrigan said with a smile. There was mutual attraction, which was certainly an excellent way to begin. But the more that Morrigan’s head was clearing, the more she knew she needed to tell Maia about things in the dreams before this went any further.
Rubbing the back of her neck and looking just a little sheepish, Maia asked. “Do you want to get dinner? A date. Just to be clear.”
“I would like that.” Morrigan said with a smile. Though she felt that now was the time to actually come out and say something about the dreams now. Because she felt it would be best to do it now despite the fact she wanted to have dinner with Maia. “Though I think I should tell you something about these dreams of ours before we go any further.”
“Oh?” Maia raised her eyebrows. “Did you dream of something new? I don’t die, do I? If it’s anything like TV I’m liable to be hit by a stray arrow.”
“No, nothing like that. And no, I have not dreamed anything more. It more has to do with why my mother had me join you and Alistair in the first place. And you are not going to like it.” Morrigan had a feeling she was about to completely ruin this budding relationship. But it would be better to do it now, than to let Maia find out through her dreams.
“Flemeth seems like the conniving sort so I assumed there was more than altruism behind her suggestion,” Maia replied, not knowing the entirety of it but assuming it couldn’t be all that bad. Like maybe Flemeth wanted Morrigan to bring back some grimoire or artifact once the Blight was through.
“Conniving does not even begin to cover it.” Morrigan took a breath, deciding to start with the explanation part and not the part that would probably make Maia see red and not hear the explanation. Besides, one needed the explanation to understand what exactly the ritual was for. “Do you know why Grey Wardens are the only people who can kill Archdemons?” She didn’t think Maia did, but it was better to ask than to simply start explaining.
Maia shook her head. “Can’t say I do. Neither Alistair or I ever really got the talk from Duncan before he died either. I’m hoping we can find some old keep or something that might give us more information. At least until we can get help from Wardens elsewhere.”
“My mother knows, and she told me. When an Archdemon is killed, it’s soul passes into the nearest Blighted creature. Darkspawn are soulless, and when the Old God soul passes into another darkspawn, that darkspawn then becomes the Archdemon. Thus, an Archdemon is more or less immortal. A Grey Warden, however, is not a soulless being, and when a Grey Warden strikes the killing blow and the Old God soul enters them, it is destroyed and the Archdemon also dies. The Grey Warden themselves, however, dies in the process. Thus why the heroes of the previous four Blights all perished, and thus why only a Grey Warden can truly slay an Archdemon.”
Morrigan took a breath. “My mother wants the Old God soul, and there is a ritual that when performed on the eve of battle, will ensure the Old God soul passes into another vessel entirely, killing the Archdemon and, in the process, saving the Grey Warden’s life who strikes the killing blow. This ritual, however, is one only I am able to perform because I must have sex with a male Warden to become pregnant. And it is through the ritual that the Old God soul will be drawn to this newly created life.” And then she simply waited for it.
It was a lot to take in. And on some level Maia had always understood there would be sacrifice. “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice,” she murmured. It had already made a lot of sense to begin with, and now she truly understood why. Better her than Alistair, she decided. It should be her.
But then the rest of Morrigan’s explanation started to sink in. She lifted her head and stared at Morrigan as if she’d grown two heads. “Your mother wants an Old God soul so she whored you out?!”
She didn’t know who she was more angry with - Flemeth for the idea or Morrigan for going along with it. And that was without getting into how dangerous an idea it was. An old god in a baby?
Maia lowered her face into her hands. “You’re going to have to shag Alistair.”
Well, that was the worst part of all? Probably? Assuming Alistair would even agree to it.
“As I have said, my mother is a horror story walking.” Flemeth was many things, and Morrigan was beginning to wonder exactly what her mother was in the dreams. “I don’t know why she wants it, only that she will not rest until she has it. Though I am not so certain my dream self will just waltz right back to her with it, presuming that whenever my dream self tells you of this ritual you even agree to it, and Alistair also agrees.”
And then Morrigan shuddered. “Believe me, shagging Alistair is not something I have any desire to do. But I also do not want you to die.” Her dream self was starting to care, she could tell. And one way or the other there wouldn’t be a happy ending in the dreams. And she was seriously doubting that there would be one here.
Pursing her lips, Maia felt a mixture of anger and disappointment. She knew there’d been ulterior motives involved, but she’d come to trust and respect Morrigan and she just…. She just didn’t know how to feel. She got to her feet so quickly it sent the cats scattering. Did Morrigan care? Did she really? “You know I would lay down my life to stop the Blight.”
And yet she didn’t want to die and objectively she knew she’d agree to it. Maia just couldn’t accept the objective part right now. And Flemeth, Fuck Flemeth!
Worse, some insecure part of her looked at Morrigan and assumed she’d just tried to be her friend to stay close to her. And that hurt. “And...and you’ve remembered this for how long now?”
When Maia got to her feet, Morrigan didn’t move, save for looking up at her. There was intense regret on Morrigan’s part, but she knew she deserved Maia’s anger and wouldn’t blame her if she wanted nothing to do with her again. But she knew she deserved to hear the truth, and so here she was, telling her the truth and willing to pay the cost of telling the truth.
“I know.” And she did. She didn’t always really agree with what Maia chose to do, and she knew she would happily sacrifice herself if need be, but Morrigan didn’t want to watch her die. Maia was literally her only friend in the dreams, and she couldn’t stand watching her die. So if Maia refused to let the ritual happen, Morrigan would leave before the final battle.
“Since mother saved you and Alistair at Ostagar. I should have told you earlier, and I apologize for that. You deserved to know before you learned of it in the dreams.” Morrigan was apologizing? Yes, she definitely was. It could be argued that apologies weren’t in her vocabulary, and typically they weren’t. But she cared for Maia and respected her enough to realize she was in the wrong and apologize when she needed to.
Though she expected the apology to not be accepted, either now or later. Her shoulders sagged a bit and she did not break eye contact with Maia. Genuine regret was in her eyes.
Maia felt magic burning in her blood,and an intense need to find an outlet for her anger and hurt. She couldn’t fully explain why it hurt so much. On the face of it it made sense. Morrigan explained it very well, and Morrigan was apologizing. But Maia’s eyes were watering and her hands were clenched so tightly her knuckles were white.
She felt...she felt used. “You’re sorry.”
Even knowing it was what she deserved, the words were a stab to her heart, one that made her breath catch. It hurt more than she’d thought it would, it hurt seeing how Maia was reacting, the hurt she was causing her. Drawing in a slow breath, Morrigan attempted to utilize the British stiff upper lip to make it through the rest of this. But even with that, she wasn’t quite as good at hiding her emotions at the current moment as her dream self was.
“Yes, I am sorry.” And now she was just waiting to be slapped. Or set on fire. Or frozen. Or something in her house to be set on fire. She didn’t know what else to say, or what could be said currently, so she didn’t push her luck. But clearly she’d made a good decision to tell Maia now. For all that she was hurting Maia now, it would’ve only hurt worse had it come out later if they’d actually started a relationship.
And yet Morrigan had to wonder if she should’ve told Maia right away, if that would have yielded a result that wouldn’t end with a completely severed friendship. Which seemed to be what was happening now. Though of course, Morrigan didn’t actually do friends, so she was kind of a stranger to how that worked. Maia was definitely her closest friend here and in the dreams, and she was probably the only person Morrigan would even give the title of friend to.
Lifting a hand to her hair, Maia tangled her finger, biting her lip hard. She tasted blood and the pain helped her focus on something else. Her voice was strained. “I think… I should go now. I need…” she waved her other hand, sparks flying. “Time.”
Maybe time and space would help her come to terms with it. She didn’t want to hate Morrigan. She was, Maker help her, falling in love with her and those feelings were slamming up against the shock of Morrigan’s explanation.
“Of course. Do what you need.” Morrigan didn’t expect her to come back, though. Even with time, she still expected Maia to hate her. And she should hate her. Everyone else did, and they were right for hating her. Perhaps Morrigan should just permanently relocate to some rural area of China where she could be alone. Because alone was the running theme of her life, and she had to wonder if that wasn’t exactly what Flemeth wanted for her. To be alone and hated so she would go back to mommy dearest.
She looked at Maia, feeling her heart breaking. She wasn’t in love yet, but she was on her way. And she certainly didn’t want to come down this road again because clearly it only yielded pain when you were the one in the wrong.
Maia’s lip quivered. She looked at Morrigan as if she were looking at a beautiful flower. Poisonous and thorned, yet still tempting her to touch. Yet now wasn’t the time to make any decision of any sort. After all, there was no Blight looming over them. She didn’t have to make decisions that were morally grey yet necessary. She just had to look to her own well being.
“One .. thing. If you hadn’t needed something from us, would you still have wanted to go?” And with or without that, had Morrigan genuinely grown to enjoy her time with them? Maia was afraid to ask.
That assessment was a very accurate one. Morrigan was a poisonous and thorned flower, much like the one Killian had brought her. It was why she kept people at a distance because she knew she’d only end up hurting people. Just as Maia had proven. Perhaps she should go back to keeping everyone at an arm’s length regardless of her own feelings.
“Yes,” Morrigan answered without hesitation. She hadn’t wanted to stay with her mother forever. While she’d been genuinely surprised at the way Flemeth had shoe-horned her into the group, that didn’t mean that she wouldn’t have snuck off later and found the two Wardens again. And despite appearances and ulterior motives, Morrigan did actually want to put an end to the Blight. Not just because it had begun in her own backyard, but because Blights threatened the whole of Thedas.
And underneath it all, Morrigan did actually have a somewhat heroic nature to her. She was willing to stand up and fight to save the world. There was also the fact that Flemeth had given her that information about Grey Wardens that only Grey Wardens were supposed to know. In this world Morrigan was wondering where the hell Flemeth had found that out, and it only added to her sense of foreboding regarding her mother.
Letting out a breath she’d only barely realized she was holding, Maia edged towards the door. To say Morrigan’s response was a relief was frankly an understatement. “Okay. I’ll uh. I’ll call you, love.”
“Alright. Take care of yourself, Maia.” Morrigan said. She would simply throw herself into working on that antidote in the meantime. It was something she could do, and working with plants seemed to be the only thing she didn’t screw up. No one would miss her if she didn’t leave her house for however long it took Maia to call. Or to figure out the antidote, whichever came first.